ghost in the house: GET OUT. I WILL TAKE YOU-
real estate agent: chill, its me.
ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.
real estate agent: obviously NOT, idiot.
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@youreakilljoy
ghost in the house: GET OUT. I WILL TAKE YOU-
real estate agent: chill, its me.
ghost: oh hey. have you sold it yet.
real estate agent: obviously NOT, idiot.
things i’m good at:
-sabotaging my own happiness -?????? -that’s it
person: my boyfriend just- me: dump them person: no he did something good me: suck their dick
*unlikes post so i can like it from u*
man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful? me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity
mosquito: *about to bite me*
me: umm i have a bf
🌸*little giggles* daddy’s the only one allowed to put their mouth on baby girl ^_^🌸 -Babygirl
me:
mosquito: yikes
anxiety: everyone hates u me: idk i dont think that- anxiety: everyone hates u and ur mad ugly me: damn u right :/
u ever just wanna…….suck on his fingers
Me when I’m rosé drunk and I feel fancy and also drama