Dozer's Golden Palace

Come looking for treasures, mortal? Well, you've come to the right place. Allow me your attention- after all, don't I deserve it~? (Pfp art is NOT mine, credits to the og artist)

[yourkingdozer]

Opinions on me possessing a plushie made in your likeness to nap with?

How kindred of you. I will allow it. Just make sure to treat me with the upmost respect and care. It'll probably be the closest you'll ever get to the real thing.

[yourkingdozer]

Are you yorking it yucky style

Leave. Now.

[yourkingdozer]

hi dozeman. my bro dozebro. my sleeply man

opinions on your siblings. immediately

My opinions on my siblings.

Well, isn't this a fun question.

I suppose we'll start with the second oldest. Litany is always so... Odd. He acts superior to so many of the others, yet he treats them more like rubbish than subjects. Personally, me and him do not interact much. He's rather boring, and can only muster up criticisms. He remains distant from me and the others. Better that way, I'd say.

After that is Kookoo. My little brother. You know, he was actually intended to be just another reskin of me. I adore watching him, really. His life is like my own personal soap opera. Hilarious, chaotic, and utterly ridiculous. Besides- it's funny to tease him about his... Sightlessness.

And then there's Seesay. One of the Lord's personal favorite entities. I suppose I don't blame them, though. She's energetic, always has good gossip, and a surprisingly efficient killer. She can make her way into safe rooms, somehow, so that's a nice ability. She's rather fragile, though, especially around light.

It irks me, watching those wretched sinners harm her.

[yourkingdozer]

how many crowns do you have?

Crowns.. Crowns... Well, I've had plenty over all my time in your existence. You wouldn't know it, but I'm actually quite a popular figure in your little human culture. Tribes dating back thousands of years worshipped me like a god~! And you lot still do, albeit through the lens of a simple videogame character rather than my true form. So many followers, kneeling in dutiful praise of their divine light..

[yourkingdozer]

are you yorking it

wh- NO!!

That is Elkman's thing. In both terms of the phrasing.

[yourkingdozer]

I originally read your username as "yorking Dozer" and I was like "what the fuck does yorking mean"

....

Who's going to tell them?

[yourkingdozer]

wakey wakey eggs and bakey

mmmmm... Go away. I'm tired..

[evilbrandonworks]

hi dozer how we doing @yourkingdozer

[yourkingdozer]

Oh you are magnificent.. Though I believe you're missing my thousands of adoring followers~! Oh wait.. that's you.

[yourkingdozer]

what do YOU look like. im trying to draw you but i dont know what you look like,,,, fat probably,,, sigh

also im giving you a big hug and like yeah and like good morning

EHEM?! FAT?! I AM NOTHING OF THE SORT!

Hmph.

I am the most magnificent creature one could imagine. I doubt words alone could encapture my true beauty. Why, just look at my lovely eyes~ charming smile~ And wouldn't you just adore that golden shade!

Though, if you speak of my humanoid form, I believe a certain mortal encapsulates it rather well.

@countieparty

If that is all though, you can g-wait. What are you doing? DON'T TOUCH ME!

[yourkingdozer]

hii 🪡anon here I needle felted a very tiny dinner to go with the you that I made both are currently on my shelf front and center

Ohhh.. You just know how to get me so very invested. Keep me up there~! All the attention I could ever ask for! Ohh, you're just so sweet I could take a bite of that little brain of yours.

You'd probably taste like adrenaline

[yourkingdozer]

my friend , the little elk, reall y really likes you..👀

Who doesn't little one?

Tell them dozer sends their regards. They seem rather devoted. Perhaps I can make a sinner of them yet.

[yourkingdozer]

you dont get many questions. its ok ill talk to u i love u

Ah? Another admirer, hm?

I get much more questions than my siblings, at least. Though I do love the company. Come here, little elk. Allow me to entertain you with stories of my splendor.

[yourkingdozer]

I needle-felted a little you and a little kneeling dinner since I thought you would enjoy that

also your head has magnets in it because I also sewed a hat and it fits on your head

Needle-felted? I don't believe I know this practice. Perhaps I shall.. "Look it up"

Oh

OH~!

To make me- to put art of me in your own home?! How deliciously reverant! How utterly debauched! Oh you are simply wonderful little whelp! Oh, I think you're my new favorite!

[yourkingdozer]

i want you

You want me? Oh~! What delicious compliments!

You, keep that up, and you'll earn a reward. I've got my eyes on you now.

[yourkingdozer]

R u seeing anyone? Asking for a friend

Am I seeing anyone? Your friend must have good taste.

But unfortunately for them, unless they can truly wow me, I'm not available for their fingers to worship.

Although, perhaps if they grovel prettily enough, I will consider giving them a hand kiss.

[yourkingdozer]

you are literally my favorite in the game AND the main reason I die 😋

I'd hope I'd be your favorite, it'd be unwise to choose anything else.

Perhaps you should practice your kneeling. I'd appreciate seeing that nose touch the floor~.

[yourkingdozer]

Why do you speak 1980's banana bubblegum.

Why do you speak in Arial font with no color? You lack personality, whelp. Begone from my sight.