Starting something new again, but that’s okay. Because life is about progress. There’s no point in beating yourself up for continuously growing, no one is born complete.
Today started as I slept at 4am. After panicking over my finances and my future in the middle of the night, I decided to close my laptop and that once the birds started singing was my cue to shut my eyes too. I then awoke naturally at 7.55 but decided not to bother waiting for 8am, because I couldn’t muster enough energy from within to start my day so early (and mainly to leave the comfort that I found myself in). I did feel fresh, don’t get me wrong. I actually felt significantly fresher then as compared to when I actually woke up. My eyes opened at 12pm, but my soul didn’t really wake up until 3pm.
My dreams were filled with terrors, following a Groundhog Day theme I found myself stuck in a loop of reliving the horrors. Reality managed to seep into my dream, as the setting was a location I was deeply researching before I went to sleep. I found myself having to save the less fortunate from the terrors, almost as if I was responsible for them. The terrors felt like they were not in my control, almost as if relating to my awake fears of being dragged through life by my ankles. One thing I must note though is with every Groundhog Day repeat, I found myself more knowledgeable than the day before and was able to use this to my advantage.
During my awake hours, I found myself rushing through the minutes. Just, living life. Had a good nap on the journey tho.
Now I lay in the comfort of bed, amongst soft sheets and pink coloured warmth. I am physically in my element, in my comfort zone. I decided this is going to be my format of mindfulness. I write more eloquently (and less emotional) on the computer vs. on paper.
