Short lil bsd SMAU based on this tiktok I saw. (Sorry, I forgot the acc and can't find it for the life of me </3)
Synopsis: Trying to reverse the roles with bsd men? Yeah, good luck with that...
Featuring: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor
My first SMAU gained a bit of traction, so why not give it another go? I got a lil too busy to try other characters, but if you guys want to see more, please tell me which ones and I'll be glad to make a pt. 2! If you have any prompts you wanna see for more bsd SMAUs or in general, don't be shy to ask.
THINKING OF… first impressions with ADA!Coworker!Dazai
Warnings: None. Fluff, Slow-burn, maychance…?
A/N: Hiiiiii (I says to absolutely no one) I’m trying something new… YIPE- I’m still very clumsy with Tumblr but I have a phone now and need to busy myself with something while I procrastinate my first homework of this school year!! ANYWAY tell me if yalls like the style pls. It’s a bit- uhm- long, but hey, maybe you’ll like it..! Maybe I’ll do a Part 2 and make this a series!!
(Creds to artist!!)
Coworker!Dazai who first laid eyes on the new girl in the office, eyeing you up and down and didn’t hesitate to approach. Holding his hand out with his most charming smile, he sighs dreamily and claims you’re simply the most stunning woman he’s ever laid his eyes on. A line he’s only used a thousand times now.
Coworker!Dazai who doesn’t hesitate to ask you for a double suicide on your very first day.
Coworker!Dazai who was immediately dragged away by Kunikida, opening his eyes only to be met with the most drop dead DISGUSTED face he’s ever seen in his life.
Coworker!Dazai who was used to rejection, but that wordless side-eye, and the way you just blinked his presence and statement off judgementally before your smile returned when you spotted your future female coworkers sparked something in him. Vengeance? Interest? Certainly not attraction..!
Coworker!Dazai who from that day forward, greeted you in the morning with his usual light yet silky smooth voice and empty compliments with that damned fake smile on his face. He stuck to his usual delighted sighs whenever you coldly rejected him, scooting back to his stacked desk only because Kunikida forced him to stop the workplace harassment.
Coworker!Dazai who observed how quickly you went from giggles with Yosano, to cold, unimpressed, and unbelievably sassy looks when addressing him.
Coworker!Dazai who was beginning to doubt if he understood people as well as he thought he did. You weren’t pushing him away. He would flirt pointlessly, but the look of disgust on your face was too perfect and timed to be out of genuine disdain and lack of interest. And yet you matched his smooth flirts with your own smooth insults despite all that.
“My, my~ a pretty girl typing away with her pretty hands? Mind if a humble detective merely observes? For scientific purposes, obviously~” He’d saunter up to you on a particularly bland afternoon, lazing over your desk because you never once shoved him off unless he invaded your space directly. His hand would find yours, tracing the back of your rapidly typing hand, his eyes never leaving yours.
“Don’t infect me with your useless, thank you. I’d hate for my ‘pretty hands’ to hold an empty wallet rather than, I dunno, some of the Agency’s weight.” Your hand would jerk away, words cold, and my would they be snarky. If it wasn’t for the grin on your face and your overly sassy voice, even he wouldn’t catch onto the fact that you may just be joking…
Coworker!Dazai who was quick to gasp in exasperated delight every time you insulted him, dramatically announcing his agonizingly slow death from your ‘cruelly targetted words’. But you caught onto the amused glint in his eyes every time you’d counter his flirting with your own smooth tongue.
Coworker!Dazai who knew you were some sort of code he had to crack. Your actions contradicted your cold words. Your bubbly personality failed the cold attention you’d give him. But more importantly? Your almost friendly actions spoke against your cruel teasing.
Coworker!Dazai who was one day too busy being throttled by Kunikida for his umpteenth unfinished report to greet you. His comment on your button up came out as choked, almost giggles, from Kunikida’s grip.
Coworker!Dazai who was bubbling in stupid glee as he was sprawled on the floor while you politely convinced Kunikida to spare him. Of course, the second he caught his breath, he reattempted his earlier flirting.
Coworker!Dazai who had his smile frozen on his face as he blankly watched you straight up walked away as soon as Kunikida was no longer a threat, cutting his words of praise off without even addressing them. Atsushi grimaced in the background, but Dazai didn’t let his internal shock show as he just slid back down on the floor. Rejection was a flavour he was all too familiar with, yet for once, he didn’t try to find something on the bright side to swoon over instead of dwelling in his humiliation. He was just… silent, until Atsushi finally poked him up and back to work.
Coworker!Dazai who tried a different approach one day. Closed-eye dreamy sighs became casual nods and cheery, yet understanding exclamations. Flirtatious compliments became congratulatory words when you did something you were proud of. Cheeky winks became quiet, unreadable looks when you caught him staring.
Coworker!Dazai who gave you his genuine respect after arriving late to a case one week in only to see you’ve already dealt with the mess. No witness was left vulnerable, no perpetrator left uncuffed, and no victim left unrecognized.
“I come on the case only what? 10 minutes late? and there’s nothing left for me? You’re really saving me the hassle, aren’t you~” His hands would be in his pockets, grinning in relief, though it would quickly morph into a pouty sigh. “Here I was thinking I’d get my chance to show off…”
“If you had no plans on showing up, you could have told me at first.” You would firmly place the victim files against his chest. Not smirking or smiling or rolling your eyes. Just… serious. As if you would be done with his ingenuity only one week in. “Things may turn out fine either way, but you’re not the only person in this world.”
Coworker!Dazai who stood stunned at your words, holding the files against his chest before they’d fall off, watching you walk away. He caught onto your limp, your clothes rustled, hair messy, a cold look on your face. It wasn’t a clean case, whatever happened in the hour he was gone, and you were certainly left as a mess. Yet you held yourself with grace, even calling his carefree attitude out and bluntly criticizing his selfishness without bragging, berating, or even yelling.
Coworker!Dazai who spots you at the Agency the next day, fully healed thanks to a certain doctor. You were chatting and playfully teasing Atsushi with bright smiles when he sat at his desk.
Coworker!Dazai who couldn’t bring himself to even look at you after what happened yesterday. Perhaps embarrassment, maybe even shame, but whatever it was certainly wasn’t the full reason to why there was a flutter in his chest when he accidentally locked eyes with him, and she… smiled?
Coworker!Dazai who had no idea why you acted like nothing happened, but refused to let this chance of unbotheredness slip up.
Coworker!Dazai who for once in his life, apologized. Well, not really. It wasn’t grandiose. Not even direct, but he sat beside you quietly, hands to himself like a dog who knew he wronged. Yosano’s words died down as she spotted Dazai first, getting up and walking out of your office with a lame excuse of work, leaving you two alone.
Coworker!Dazai who had wide eyes, opening his mouth with his signature bright smile that usually meant nothing good. You didn’t cut in when his words failed to come out. Face unreadable, but not cold.
Coworker!Dazai who turned his face to the side, wondering what the hell happened to his smooth tongue. Why was he wordless just then?! He opted for mentioning the weather instead like he’d ever engage in small talk. His hands were fidgeting on his lap as he fought the urge to fidget with your pen on the desk instead. Or maybe even your hand-
Coworker!Dazai who felt his heart racing when you played along with his lame start. Somehow, your polite nods and smiles hit harder than your attitude and dismissal. He lowered his head before he could point it out, the tension thick enough in the atmosphere to remind him exactly why he lost your previous personality privileges before he could ask.
Coworker!Dazai who rants about some analogy on the tide smoothing ridges out on the sand, or something like that, in an attempt to ask you to forgive and forget, but the heavily unimpressed look on your face made him clear his throat and bring up crabs instead. His words shifted like a battlefield with you. He threw in attempts at apologizing like a live grenade, changing the subject quickly as if taking shelter, and watched your reactions from a safe distance as if he was too afraid to acknowledge them directly.
Coworker!Dazai who gives up on whatever that mess was with a silent shrink instead of a loud sigh.
Coworker!Dazai who gets up to leave because ‘Kunikida will twist his bandages inside out’ if he didn’t’.
Coworker!Dazai who shoots one last weak smirk over his shoulders, as if he didn’t just fumble over a simple apology, and as if that conversation was in his control at all.
Coworker!Dazai who froze when he heard you sigh heavily, rolling your eyes as you stood up from your office chair.
Coworker!Dazai who turned around with an instinctive flirty comment when he heard you approach.
Coworker!Dazai who felt himself silently choke on his words when you suddenly grabbed the sleeve of his beige trench coat. His eyes widened before he forced them to relax when you suggested dinner with the very crab he kept rambling about would ‘clear up any previous wrong doings’ and maybe even ‘redo messy first impressions’.
Coworker!Dazai who was even more fidgety throughout the rest of the work day. He ended up begging Kunikida for funds for the dinner, to which he received only a bump on his head and a scolding for ‘not being able to treat a woman properly’.
Coworker!Dazai who manned up thanks to his words, silently perking back up, a stupid smile on his face instead of a whiny pout. He had sock money enough to fund himself. He wouldn’t fumble.
Coworker!Dazai who didn’t utter another word for the rest of the day, rushing out first when the clock struck 5. And as promised, he showed up at your door at exactly 7 PM.
Coworker!Dazai who stood tall and proud, signature grin on his face as he held ‘apology flowers’ in one hand, the other against your doorframe, looking sleek in an unseen before suit and tie. He reached a hand out, eyes trailing over you almost appreciatively in a muted sundress with pops of teal in its designs. It took everything in him to not react with anything more than split-second silence when you casually brushed his compliments off and stated that the colours matched with the gem on his bolo tie.
Coworker!Dazai who offers you his arm, taking you to a mediocre restaurant, his heart racing as he observed your reaction, feeling a bit embarrassed of his cheap choice for once in his life.
Coworker!Dazai who watches in silence when your eyes widen as you enter the restaurant. You were usually too indecisive to ever order anything but take out, so eating out - with someone else, no less - felt like an adventure, no matter what type of restaurant it was. You eagerly sit down, having always wondered what it would be like to go on a ‘date’ with someone that wasn’t a friend - completely crushing any chance of him feeling self-conscious of his choice.
Coworker!Dazai who upon hearing that, took the menu from your hand gently a look in his eyes akin to tender. He didn’t stutter over his words when he casually suggested that that didn’t have to be the case.
Coworker!Dazai who tensed when your eyes slowly raise to meet his. No longer cold or judgemental. Rather, they were wide, soft, innocent, in the way he’s seen with others, but never him. You shook off the look, smiling warmly instead, heart racing at his oddly sincere words, slowly nodding and accepting his proposal with a bright smile instead of a bashful blush.
Maybe being genuine was all it took for your approval?
Friend!Dazai who beams at your acceptance, clasping his hands together in glee. He ordered for you both with a chirp in his voice, making sure to add a stupid emphasis on you being his friend while ordering. You didn’t roll your eyes, though, your own smile softening instead as you caught onto the way his shoulders subtly relaxed, the way he released a quiet breath, and the way his eyes flickered with momentary, genuine, relief from your acceptance before he shot back up in his usual dramatic antics.
Friend!Dazai who didn’t miss the way you were smiling subconsciously while watching him interact with the waitress. He wasn’t flirting, for once. And his eyes trailed right back to you when she left.
“What’s with the staring, my dear friend? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re finally admitting that I’m looking even more handsome than usual right now~” His eyes would lock on yours, chin resting on his palm, watching you sip your water. He wouldn’t miss the way your eyes remained unblinking yet unrevealing on his, for whatever reason.
“I don’t recall denying that…” You would reply, voice feigning innocence, though with the way you would look at him, he’d take it as an unnerving deadpan. And a flirty one, at that?! Oh this would be interesting.
Friend!Dazai who paused, shocked at your words, rendered speechless as he processed everything.
Friend!Dazai who came to not only realize, but look forward to what this newfound friendship with you may yield…
Thanks for reading!! Comments are always appreciated, and I’d love to take requests or know how you feel about this!
Content warnings: Swearing, some violence, Dazai-typical suicide themes, slight OOC, prerelationship!Dazai, but he's whipped for you ehehehehe
Genre: fluff, crack, gets a bit serious though...
First SMAU, so please don't expect much😭, I'm still getting used to how to use this site and Tumblr itself, BUT THERE ISN'T ENOUGH BSD SMAUS. I NEED MORE. Requests open for anything... however those work... (help me I'm actually hopeless at this AHHHHHH)
A/N: Requests are always open for anything you guys would like!! Oneshots, headcanons, SMAUs, I’m open to anything!
Warnings: Heavy(?) angst, kissing, swearing, drinking, slightly OOC, d o o m, uhhh bad writing...
Words: 4.3k
Summary: After the doomsday timer is finally set off counting down the seconds until certain death occurs, some may choose to spend their last moments cozily, while others may want to go out with a bang... or maybe just in someone's arms.
If you ask anyone where they would want to spend their last days alive given their end was certain, the expected response would be "with my loved ones" or some clichéd shit like that. As the girl walked alone in the abandoned streets, she smiled bitterly as she recognized that most were doing exactly that. Relishing in the comfort of their homes with people they cherished most, hoping to hide from something too omnipresent to escape; death.
She wished she was being poetic, exaggerating reality, or perhaps she was gripping onto the hope that this was all a dream, but a giant fireball with incomparable precision was steadily making its way towards the beloved planet. A hot chunk of molten rock having likely escaped the asteroid belt lit up the sky in its ferocious glory, creating a faux summer hotter than any she had ever experienced in her short 22 years of life.
A first in human history shows right before her eyes how trivial matters such as money, age, or status faced no worth in the face of insurmountable doom. It dissipates into nothing, for what worth does it serve once the human psyche finally realizes that what truly matters is the sense of belonging only certain, special people could provide. What a foreign concept to too many. Even the complex networks derived from thousands of years of evolution that created precious fear disappeared as the girl inhaled the heart wrenching scent of bittersweet acceptance.
An eerily calm breeze blew insignificant papers around; perhaps marriage certificates, business documents, checks, or maybe even a child's drawings once praised so heavily by their parents, now discarded in the filth of an alleyway as soon as the news spread. 'Not that it matters' She reminded herself, a slight grin on her lips as she almost forgot of the ball of flames flying overhead while contemplating what piece of ruined potential ran in the wind. The asteroids fierce glow of red and orange illuminated the graffiti that decorated the walls. It's funny how humans once held hope that such revolutionary engravings would live on for centuries. Far beyond the ages of measly human lives, surviving long enough to represent the painted picture of the past.
The thought of passing a monument for future enjoyment sounded almost utopian to her as the timer counted down '1:36:25... 1:36:24...' There wouldn't be a future. Not for her. Not for the desperate lovers relishing in each others warmth. Not for the children hiding in their parents arms. Not for the ones who held hope that this would not be the end, when it so clearly was.
Electronic music bounced off the walls from the bar Lupin. What a sacrilegious contrast to what its formal glory proposed, but she couldn't be bothered thinking of its past with the blazing heat radiating onto her skin. She turned her thoughts off with ease, her feet having a mind of their own as she was determined to make it down the alley.
No one ever plans to be alone. No one wants to die in lonesome. Death itself is already a huge stigma in society. That being said, she would have never expected to spend the last hours of her life in a club full of people she never saw within the walls of a once refined bar, listening to the encaptivating beat of electronic music she never thought she'd enjoy. In life's final moments, temptation fuelled by regret was sure to strike, which was likely what led her to popping a fresh bottle of Hennesy, sending a nod to the wasted bartender as she downed it all in one go, holding back her gag reflex the fought against the taste of the vile liquid.
The idea of the end did strange things to humans. So she suppressed her quivering heartbeat, and effectively her amygdala's responses as well, and finally drowned in the moment.
Drink after drink, she felt herself succumbing to the life the party provided as the alcohol nullified her senses and burned her throat. Her vision seemingly lagged as the wild flashing of blues, purples, and greens blended with the natural hues of the outside red and orange, every hue matching the melodic booms of the music. Sweaty bodies bumped against each other following the beat, each individual too immersed in their own longings and problems to care about others. After all, everyone went there with a purpose, be it to run from their problems or to go out with a bang other than what fate had planned for everyone. Some even went to bathe in their regrets through alcohol, as shown by the countless bodies of the troubled crouching by the corners, grasping onto half empty bottles as their minds fill with pointless what if's and if only's. Crying, begging, and praying that this was all a dream, promising that they 'understood their actions now' and that this 'test' could end. Grasping onto the hope that somehow, by some wicked twist of fate, this was all a dream or some sick social experiment testing the extent of human psychological suffering and to serve as an early punishment for humanity's wrongdoings.
She spared no thought to their conditions, instead syncing her heart to the beat of the song, feeling as if its rhythmic thumping would rip its way out of her chest. The hopeful euphorics that shared this feeling surrounded her, crowding the already small area, screaming and cheering with the wildness they never had the opportunity to express, as if accepting their fate. Ripped jeans, dirty blouses, lacy bras, high heels, construction boots, baggy tees, heavy trench coats, wild and free hair; each drowned in the light of the party, the blur in everyone's vision creating a pleasant blob of colours and shapes out of every hopelessly desperate individual.
The wilderness of the crowd made it seem as if they announced the asteroid years ago. As if they had all the time in the world to spend in the poorly ventilated area. The shock and numbness that led to realization and the processing of emotions by billions of people. When parents fell to their knees, explaining death to children who barely knew life. Strange days for those who weren't prepared for imminent death; realistically everyone.
The girl's grip tightened on her drink, clinging onto it as she gathered her thoughts. 'Do I even know anyone here?' Not that it even mattered. She scanned the room thoroughly, squinting as she tried to make out shapes, sizes, and colours. 'At least some people here are hot.'
One in particular catches her eyes. Someone hot. Hot like the asteroid that was out to kill them all. Hot like that.
He had vivid, short cocoa hair sticking to his forehead and temples, his skin glistening with sweat, his long beige trench coat over his tall figure. Underneath, he wore a black vest, pants in a lighter shade of beige, and so, so many bandages wrapped around his slim yet long arms and neck, a blaringly bright emerald gem on his chest. Seemed expensive. Not that it mattered. money didn't matter anymore. But for some unknown reason, that man did.
She found herself longing to take a photo of him. Of his short, messy hair that framed his face so beautifully. Of his brown eyes that glinted amber when the lights shone on them. Of his slender fingers that charismatically brushed against another woman's waist. Of his drunken smirk that held a certain sharpness that screamed that he knew something no one else did. Of the way his eyes narrowed with intrigue when they landed on her. Just in case she made it out, so that she would have some memory of that man to cling to and long over.
Her eyes widen when she found his eyes glued to her as well. In a room full of despair and dread, their souls somehow reached for each other. On sight, it felt as if his whole world slowed down. A single, clear image produced in the crowd of faceless, blurred, irrelevant individuals. He drank in every detail of hers. How her body fluidly moved with the music, how she didn't care if her drink spilled on nearby people. How she broke eye contact first only to take a swig of drink. He relished in the way she moved, in the way she smiled, in the way she simply let go of the world's miseries and embraced the end. A woman he never thought he'd find.
Funny how his multitude of experience with women crumbled before him on sight, because women like her, he couldn't afford. Couldn't afford meeting. Couldn't afford having in his dead existence. Couldn't afford sharing his drink of emptiness. Couldn't afford dragging into his twisted sense of his end. However, this was the end of the world. Normal rules did not apply. Nothing was more than that exact moment. This party, this drink, this beat filling the room, his steady breathing. Nothing was more than this final chance.
Life, death, shame, lust, need, embarrassment, denial, acceptance, loneliness, tension, peace, pain, anger, everything was just as trivial and loose as the shredded morals that currently bound the entire human population. Outside, mothers wept as they held their children to their breasts, politicians rushed to ease the people of their country, scientists shot themselves from the guilt of not doing anything, of failing to do anything. But inside, the intoxicated man approached her.
Despite being a singular person in a flowing, violent crowd of roaring individuals, she made out his movements, his actions, his intentions. 'Could this be fate?' She asked herself, thousands of thoughts raced through her head as fast as the pace of the music and the cheers of the crowd, but in her influenced state, she managed to drown it out. To shut down her brain in truly live in the moment. Because it didn't matter anymore. Messing up didn't. Nothing did.
She found his smile unfathomably beautiful. Gazes locked as he advanced, newfound strength binding her feet to the ground, as if refusing to allow herself to instinctively run away from this final opportunity. In a wordless effort, he reached his hand forward, his fingers spread, inviting her hand, and simultaneously her heart.
The girl felt fuzzy when she returned the gesture, finding it nothing like the first time she held hands with a guy during an unfortunate movie date. This did not feel weird. It did not feel forced, it felt... right. He pulled her closer, her feet stumbling to keep up. He steadies her with a hand to her hip. His voided eyes looked deep into her soul, analysing every reaction, his unmatched wit sensing if she reciprocated her feelings, raising an eyebrow to see if she was comfortable.
She was noticeably shorter than him, her gaze meeting his bandaged neck as he suddenly pulled her close.
"Dazai. But just say Osamu." He introduced, as if reading her mind. Lost in his eyes, she repeated his name, cherishing the feel of it. His smirk softened as he leaned down, closer to her flushed face. "What's yours?"
The girl pronounced her name as spaced out as his. Not so he would thoroughly understand, but to feel it on her tongue one last time. Like she did, he repeated after her, mindlessly pulling her closer. His words drowned out with the music, but she could read his lips. He was savouring her name more than she ever could, repeating it until his lips were directly onto hers.
That was the fastest she had ever kissed someone, the thought of such a quick, shared moment of intimacy felt almost taboo. However, the end didn't give much space to think about subtle clues or hints of attraction. You just do it. Afterall, in an hour, there will be no consequences. No haunting memory of pushing things to keep them up at night. No sweet aftertaste to rest on their lips the following moment. No clouded thoughts revolving around their names to distract their daily duties.
'Oh right. That...' How long did she have left? 1 hour? Less? The warm, passionate feel of his lips pulled her out of her thoughts, arms wrapped around her waist as he tenderly squeezed her closer. A stark contrast to the rushed lust he would always jump to. She moulded so perfectly in his arms, returning his action, wrapping her own arms around his bandaged neck, fingers tugging at the roots of his soft hair. He licked the seam of her lips, causing her to open her mouth instantly, wanting to properly taste him, to embrace him even further. She wanted something to last after they finished, even if it was only a taste of the pungent liquid dancing on her lips for her remaining seconds.
God, he tasted good. Flavours of champagne and whiskey exploded on her tongue, leaving a lasting impression. He freely explored her warm, wet mouth as their tongues danced together to the beat of the forgotten music. She tugged away, giving space to breathe as he backed up, his grip still firm, unwilling to let go and risk loosing her to the ocean of reds, violets, and blues.
"Care to dance?" He asked with an undoubtedly sinful smile. She giggled in response, gazing longingly into his chocolately amber eyes as she pulled him with her, hurriedly pushing the crowd out of their way. Upon reaching the edge of the room, he finally slammed her against the wall, effectively pinning her as he loomed over her, impatiently clashing his lips onto hers yet again. As if on cue, the electrical funk swiftly transitioned into a slower, romantic song. The melody and smooth notes resonated against the walls as the atmosphere shifted, strumming the heartstrings of the hopeless romantics that filled the room. A bittersweet reminder of how no one present ever had the chance to find the one.
The once lively room filled with wild cheers of people who screamed away their doubts, regrets, wants and needs away, calmed down. The slightly hum of unified chatter filled the room as most melancholily chanted the lyrics of the song. Soon enough, multiple others caught on, replicating their actions with another stranger, engaging in blind passion with someone who could relate to their feelings. Realistically; anyone.
Their bodies clashed against each other, seeking warmth, comfort... something in the other that alcohol, blasting music, and freedom simply couldn't provide. Their desperate movements created faux passion, initiating meaningless pleasure. The movements were driven by a sense of incompletion. Their hearts left wanting and waning and whining and wasting away their entire lives only to generate their own sense of pleasure in one final attempt to cure their emptiness.
Nothing they would do could even compare to the two intertwining souls. No one was as tender as the way he swallowed every kiss. No one was as gentle and thorough as his touch, delicate fingers roaming all over her body, engraving his touch onto her body. No one wanted this more than the two of them. While their surroundings followed their bodily desires, they followed the calling of their souls. Ecstasy coursed through their veins with every touch, every breath, every trace of their fingers.
As if their minds synced, he suddenly pulled her away. Even withing the hellish temperature, she missed the warmth of his proximity.
"I don't want this..." He spoke, looking away as if his emotions conflicted his personality, yet he confidently stood behind his words nonetheless. A final spark of something truly human.
"I mean... fuck. What I mean is that I want you, bella donna, but I just... I-" Coherency left his once slick, effortlessly flirty system as he stumbled over his words for the first time, eyes wide at the unfamiliar feeling of messing up.
Even in this situation, even in his last hour—00:47:43 to be precise, he found himself wanting to slow things down for the first time. To take his time with her and properly take her in. Perhaps because the vision of her felt realer than anything he ever felt, or perhaps to experience the humanity of true emotions.
Despite running behind a ticking clock, he would slow things down. Do things properly. This moment stood behind the man's belief of nothing mattering now like ever before, and yet he found something to care about. Something to treasure. Something that made him want to live. Even if it was to spend just a while longer with her. Someone worth praying, screaming, and running away from the hell-send that approached with every passing second the way most were at that moment.
"It's okay..." She spoke softly as she ran a hand down his cheek, tilting his head down to meet her gaze, smiling as a single tear ran down her cheek. Despite years of experience exploring and even against his emotions, he couldn't help but succumb to the overwhelming tsunami of feeling that flared in his chest for too long. His smile grew more warm than excited as he melted in her touch, the growing heat perhaps playing a part.
She understood him wordlessly, as if they were the same. Driven by different experiences, yet sharing the same confliction and meeting in the same party to spend the last moments of their lives before everything disappears. Yet it was the extremity of the situation that brought them—everyone, together. Dazai... She didn't know who he was. If he had any siblings, if he preferred cats or dogs, what his favourite colour was, what his job was, what he liked, disliked, and cherished. She didn't know where he liked being held, what he wanted to hear, what his favourite food was, what drove him here in the first place. All she knew was that he was covered in bandages, how amazing he felt against her, and that he had absolutely nothing against what it was they were currently experiencing.
Thoughts of a non-existing life filled their heads as some unknown force pulled the two out of the sinful room. They heavily panted as the finally contacted fresh air, the now distant beat of the music booming in their chests, synchronising their heartbeats. As they caught their breaths, they locked eyes once again, taking in every detail with newfound—though still hazed, clarity. The red-orange glow of the asteroid gave an almost heavenly glow to them, once heavily considered imperfections erased from each other's minds and vision.
"I wish we weren't here," The girl could hear him clearer now, relishing in the silky smooth vibrations of his voice. "I wish we were in a coffee shop, meeting each other for the first time... I knew a good place..." He joked in spite of the situation.
In an in instant, he grabbed both her hands, pushing to vocalise his words before it became too late. The unbearable heat of the asteroid was nothing compared to the way she felt under his gaze. It held so much intensity that she couldn't even breathe. It was so hot, suddenly causing her to become conscious of the sweat dripping down her neck. The air heavy as his touching words sunk in, hot like lava. She didn't hesitate to pull him by their interlocked fingers, cupping his face, taking a good, deep look into his beautiful chocolate eyes, smiling before kissing him.
Dazai's hands travelled from her hands to her shoulders, then back to her hands again, placing them on his chest, her thumb tracing the jewel. She paid no mind to how he survived in all those layers including the bandages, his skin definitely moist as she spread her fingers, pushing against his chest as she deepened their kiss. He softly bit a trail of pleasurable bites from her lips to her neck. His palms grabbed her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. He bit and sucked on the skin of her throat through pleasured moans until he created a mark that was sure to be seen tomorrow, perhaps embarrassedly hidden by a turtle neck if there would ever be a tomorrow.
It was so hot. Their bodies melted and moulded onto each other. His lips back to hers, hungry. He was well aware that there wasn't possibly enough time. Dazai kissed her in a way that made her sure she didn't want to be anywhere else. The girl knew that despite having nowhere else to be, she wanted to be there with him, at that very moment.
Yet it was so unbearingly hot. They seperated only to breathe, just in time to catch small debris flying from a building and shattering upon contact with the ground, the building rumbling as the crushing physical pressure became more and more apparant. Her heartbeat sped up. It was happening. She felt adrenaline pumping through her veins, somehow still producing enough despite the week, every primal instinct telling her to run, to hide. But there was nowhere to go, and she knew that.
Dazai grabbed her hand, standing by her side, head tilted to observe what was happening. She wasn't alone.
An impeding sense of doom simultaneously crawled through him as well, having already accepted the inevitability of it all far before his struggling co-workers, his mind surprisingly blank at the thought of what he longed for for too long was finally coming. Despite himself, he could only accept instead of revel in ecstasy of his supposed success. He could only accept his fate, their fate. Accept that they would never be able to turn back time and live their desperate wishes. This wasn't how he wanted to go.
He turned to face her, his features softening as he took note of her quivering gaze. Her eyes were wide as saucers as she took in the sight of the crimson rust, enormous rock that approached with every tick of the timer. 00:03:38... 00:03:37...
He wasted no time in taking her hand, prying his eyes away from the mesmerising sight, choosing to look at something even more ethereal.
"I'm happy I met you" The girl spoke, tears threatening to spill as she blinked the accumulating dust out of her still wide eyes, as if it would allow her to take more of him in. He responded by pulling her in with one arm, standing shoulder to shoulder as the both watched the sky burn in a surprisingly intimate silence, as if both their voids collided and created a beautiful sentiment experienced perhaps only at the end of the world. More and more buildings crumbled, the music reverberating in their skulls louder and louder. They knew what was happening, and wanted to at least take in the encaptivating sight of the murderous rock once more before it was sure to finish everything off.
This was it. It was ending. For good.
She couldn't lie, the view was pretty; the orange skies, almost like a never ending sunset. The rumbling of crashing buildings that produced waves of dust once they crashed with the quaking earth was soothed by him reassuringly rubbing her arm. Not a single scream, not a single cry fell upon their ears. Instead, they focused on the way the drywood burst into flames first, spreading soon enough to the piles of abandoned paper and waste. The heat was the last of her problems. Despite the beauty of otherworldly destruction, this was not the last sight she wanted to see. If her mind was the vessel for humanity's memories, and the last image she saw was the only thing to be left to represent this soon to be past civilization, then this is not what she would want them to be remembered by. If the last thing she saw was to be carried with her through the afterlife, then she had already decided what that would be.
"Would-" Dazai interrupted her determined thoughts, his voice breaking as he squeezed her closer, eyes trained on the flaming asteroid.
"Would you care to assist me in a double suicide..?" He tried again, jaw clenched with foreign nervousness, smiling softly as he drowned in the poeticness of it all. A final moment of control. Of himself. Of his fate. And yet, despite himself, he couldn't even bring himself to look into her eyes when he spoke his infamous line. Too afraid that what he'd see would only set off regrets he never knew how to deal with.
"No... not like this" The girl rejected suddenly, causing the man to freeze as she shook his hand off of him, facing him, his eyes now wide.
"Do you want to go back..?" He asked, pushing through the undeniable throb in his chest and the lump in his throat at the unexpected answer.
"No... I want to look at you," She whispered, "until the end, Osamu." Her voice quivered as she tasted his name on her tongue one last time.
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his soft smile returning, though with a new glint of understanding and true acceptance in his eyes. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck once more, not caring about how their bodies were so close to being set ablaze themselves. If she were to die from heat, it would have to be his. As every second passed, she could hear the roar of the asteroid breaching the atmosphere, growing louder and louder as their time was running out. 00:00:57... 00:00:056...
"I loved meeting you..." He whispered back, saying her name once more, savouring it in the same fashion. Dazai held her head with one hand, the other circled around her waist, hugging her protectively while he kissed her slowly. Almost as if they had all the time in the world.
She kissed him until their breathing became one, until she felt her body moulding onto his. 00:00:04... Until the ground crumbled beneath them. 00:00:03... Until the steady beeps of a nearby doomsday timer became apparent. 00:00:02...
She kissed him until it was hot. Unbearably hot. 00:00:01...
