Hospital Delivery
Yuka:
"I…I…marionette…you…you don’t unders…" Yuka was unable to respond at all, completely dumbfounded and shocked. She sobbed weakly and nodded quietly, holding her stomach tightly. Her internal organs felt like they were in knots. Folding her arms tightly across her abdomen, she stared resentfully at the girl at the foot of her hospital bed, her eyes red and swollen. She took some deep, shuddering breaths and finally addressed the younger Yukari who was leering at her with a hollow, empty smile.
"Get the nurse. I need these IVs o-out," her voice was breathy and she sounded tired, her face and eyelids looking droopy, "I didn’t wake up today, by the way," she said in surprisingly frigid tone, "I’ve been awake for a year. I told you that." Guess you were busy worrying about yourself, she wanted to say, but she was afraid of setting Kari off again.
What had happened to her? What right did she have to be angry with her at all? Could Yukari have helped being in an accident that wasn’t her fault? No, of course not. The word “marionette” taunted her in the back of her mind. Is that what Kari really thought of her? Was she useless if she wasn’t looking after Kari like she used to? Perhaps Kari didn’t care about her at all, just the idea of having someone to help her along. Now that Yuka was useless to her, Kari didn’t care how she felt at all.
The last thought repeated itself in her head endlessly in a loop, threatening to force more tears out. Hesitantly, Yuka asked, “…K-kari…we’re friends…isn’t that right…?” in a voice scarcely above a whisper. She was desperate for something that would prove her instincts wrong. The temptation to tell Kari to go home alone was becoming increasingly more appealing, but Yuka resisted. She wiped her eyes and stared into her counterpart’s cold grey eyes, so similar to her own, yet completely different, waiting for her answer.
“I don’t care whether or not you’ve woken up last year or today. I didn’t even remember anyone last year, or maybe you’ve forgotten how I’ve lost my memories and every other fucking thing I own. Just because you were in an accident doesn’t mean the rest of us are completely fine and dandy.” A sad twist, isn’t it? Ask her to select a name, a name entitled to someone who has withstood the previous four years without so much a scratch. It was like picking a name out of a hat— except the strips of paper were conveniently absent.
“And when AH actually cares to even contact me for this, they must really not want me to enjoy life. I didn’t even want to be here.” And if had only known, I’d have a plane ticket to elsewhere beforehand.
Why does it always come back?
"We’re family." The name friend is the one name she hates the most; Avoidance of usage is very much preferred. Must she use it out in the open, the words "close strangers" would suffice, though perhaps it may have been considered too rude. A sigh, filled to the brim with frustration, slips out, and in the next few minutes she steps out of the room and briskly calls for the nurse.
Within seconds, they’re both out of the dreaded room, and she signs the elder one out.
”Don’t think I hate you. It may seem like so, but I can’t completely hate a person yet. Just ideas and quirks and things.”
"I don't even want to be here."
That stung.
Her only real "friend" in the world didn't even want to visit her in the hospital or spend time with her or even do her the courtesy of escorting her home. She looked at the other girl in disbelief, grimacing at her bitterly, avoiding eye contact with the venomous girl. The more she looked at the other girl's irritable expression, the more irritated Yuka felt herself, her ears starting to heat up, the mental strain of keeping it all together wearing her out.
The pair of them walked out of the hospital after Yukari changed clothes, which were very tattered and ridden with holes, in silence and made their way across the parking lot. Yuka felt very light on her feet and a bit unbalanced, not sure if it was due to her mostly bedridden condition or whether it was because of her anxiety. She dragged her feet.
Yukari quietly mulled over what her younger counterpart had said. Was she only doing this out of some sort of imaginary familial obligation, and not because she genuinely cared about her? Sure, she considered Kari to be somewhat of a younger sister figure to her, but she'd never think of her as a family relative in that sense. Kari was always a friend.
Something more bothered her about Kari's retort.
"Maybe you’ve forgotten how I’ve lost my memories--"
What had happened to Kari? Is that why her personality was so different? And if her memories were lost, how was she able to remember Yuka? Something felt off. The more about it Yuka thought, the more enraged and hurt she got. She ground her teeth and glared angrily at the back of the girl's head. Her pace ground to a halt.
"...how the fuck was I supposed to know something had happened to you, Kari, when I was in the hospital? How the fucking fuck was I supposed to know what the fuck was going on outside when nobody could be bothered to visit me? I don't think there was a day that went by when I was conscious that I wasn't thinking about getting out of here and seeing you and the others. But no, I'm the selfish one, right?" Yuka's vision blurred slightly as hot tears ran leaked out, "Meanwhile, you can't be bothered to see if I'm alright. I don't fucking care how many of your memories you lost, you clearly seemed to know who I was, and probably for quite some time, right? R-right...?" Yuka felt a lump growing in her throat. She clenched her fists as angry words spilled out of her throat.
"How was I supposed to know about anything that went on outside that room, while I was confined to it while the rest of the world went on and lived their lives? Every day was the same for me, and I couldn't do anything about it." Bitter memories of her stagnated and stunted life in that clean little room surfaced, and she could already smell the disinfectant again. Months of the same routine and not a soul to break the monotony. Her internal body temperature began to skyrocket as her body reacted to the stress, making her feel slightly dizzy.
"Cl-clearly you don't want to be around me, so just FUCK OFF!" Yukari's voice was slightly hoarse from raising it so abruptly. Head spinning, she turned to walk away from the other girl, stumbling slightly.
"I'll walk home. Alone. Like I've always been. It was nice seeing you."
