바다물결

권유리 (1989년 12월 5일) 소녀시대

[vcxvcvcvcvcvcvc]

Wannabe

[yulkk-blog]

( continued ) @jnmyeoon

“I would sure hope so…” Junmyeon mused a little bit as he continued to stare at the price tag resting against the palm of his hand, lips pulling into a tight line as well. As much as he wanted the leather bomber jacket he didn’t exactly feel like spending this kind of money on the garment– wasn’t exactly worth it when he was already pretty sure that there was something similar in his closet. And if there wasn’t one in his closest one of the other members absolutely had something that he could borrow should he choose to do so. (As long as he asked nicely anyways, and made sure to return it and not leave the jacket in a corner of his bedroom.) “Yeah I can’t afford this.” His tone was a little defeated as he let the tag fall back down against the jacket as his nose scrunched a bit in distaste, gaze turning towards the female though as his expression quickly cooled. “How about you pick the next stop, yeah?” 

Here they were, two very popular and well known idols, staring at overpriced clothing that neither of them could really afford. It wasn’t that their bank accounts didn’t hold those amounts of money, but more so the fact that it felt absolutely dirty to spend so much on things neither of them really needed. Yuri liked to think of herself as a reasonable woman, one who wasn’t a slave to materialistic needs and whims, and if there was something not necessary that she ended up splurging on, it was for someone else rather than herself. Gifts were the greatest excuse to spend money -- a package deal, really, where she didn’t feel bad for spending but still got the satisfaction coming from it, despite the item not being for herself. “How about we try something... less glamorous? A place where you can buy a lot for very little?” She asked with a small smile curling her lips right at their ends, as she turned head and looked out the shop’s window, where on the other side of the road, there was one of the biggest grocery markets in the area. She didn’t dare to voice her desire to go there -- it would be embarrassing, under the attentive stares of the staff looming around them -- but the look had to be enough, a clear non-verbal sign of her suggestion.

[kwonyuri]

[yulkk-blog]

kwonyuri:

161024 Pantene Fanmeeting @ Shenzhen ♡ © aprilxing (download pictures here)

[yulkk-blog]

[ ooc ] I’m really sorry for these out of character updates - but I feel like I owe this to my followers and those who wait for my replies.

Thank you for the patience of those who still keep me in their following lists. Have a good day, everyone. ♡

[seongful-archived]

Why can’t decisions be just “right” and “left” instead of “right” and “wrong”? That way I wouldn’t be afraid of failing and I’d simply view two things as different directions and I’d take one path boldly.

Initial inquiry, that question which could be translated as ‘puzzling’ didn’t seem to catch Yuri off guard. Her older sister fell silent and gave it a serious thought. Maknae smiled softly, scrutinizing gaze observing how facial muscles tinkered and graced Yuri’s moon-shaped face with Seohyun’s favorite expression: That of a wonder. One of many reasons why Joohyun could word the random slices of her mind this way was her unnie’s ability to tear riddle-like sentence apart. She’d glue the sentence back together in a formation which made sense, it still carrying original meaning. Just as lazily, almost like a feline after its nap, the younger stretched- then sank back into the cushions of the armchair which opposed Yuri’s sofa. The older woman was resting there like a royalty, appeal so effortless and in-born to the black pearl of her group. Seohyun perceived her as the truest definition of the ‘goddess’ that very moment. 

“Hmm… Maybe it has something to do with the pain. When we experience pain because of our decision we see it as a negative aspect rather than positive. We don’t see it as something that will help us grow. I mean- While we’re hurting we’re blinded by the pain itself. It’s quite impossible to keep rational mind. Heart’s wound can’t be caged within the brackets of rationality, unfortunately. And- Neh… Sometimes people create problems for themselves. I suppose comfort can be overwhelming too. Humans can never be fully satisfied with anything.” She replied. Languid yawn parted Seohyun’s imbalanced lips and she had to hide that unlady like sight with the palm of her pale hand. “Do you think anarchy can be good? Or do you think that rules are important for our society and they are crucial for our survival? Or maybe a harmonious balance is the best? Rules are made to be broken, after all. Or you don’t believe in that wording?” Yet again that habit of prolonging such conversations was put forth but the younger had faith in Yuri. They’ve been in each others orbit for over ten years thus such a responce and continuation was expected from maknae. 

[yulkk-blog]

It didn’t surprise Yuri at all, that the conversation progressed so smoothly, from one inquiry to another, more in depth and with a whole lots of digressions. They were two minds, working in their different ways, yet pondering over the same subject; like two celestial bodies crossing the same orbit, there was an explosion that produced many small fallouts, ready to be picked up and inspected. And they both loved to do it. “Mh. But that would mean that the left path is always the painful one. It’s not true though, is it? Sometimes we make the right choice, do what others deem as the good thing, yet it ends up hurting us more than anything. That’s why one should never listen to anyone’s suggestions while making choices... What’s right and what’s wrong, it’s so relative.” She said, shifting her position against all of the sofa’s cushions, feeling comfortable like never before. It was such a disonance of sensations -- a serious conversation subject and an absolutely laid-back physical condition. That’s how Yuri often found herself feeling in company of the youngest of her group, on opposite ends of one spectrum, yet always enjoying it in some peculiar way.

“You know how I am. I like to live by the rules.” The older female uttered after a longer moment, a knowing smile on her lips as they both were very much aware of what she had meant, the many years of friendship establishing a strong knowledge of one another. Yuri had her own code that she followed at all times, a certain work and relationship ethic that nothing and nobody could really change, a way of living that made her the kind of person that she was. “But those are my rules. When it’s about those that are forced upon me... The rational part of my mind tells me that the world would crumble without them, but the freedom seeking one says that everybody should make rules for themselves. In the end, it’s probably all about balance?” The inquiry hung in the air over their heads, and she ended up huffing a bit, as if frustrated with the final outcome of her musings. “I mean... People would probably go crazy if they were given too much freedom. But if you overly restrict them, it’s taking away all their potential to be and create amazing things. At the same time, is there a way to find an universal balance fitting everyone? The world isn’t a grey mass, we’re an entire planet of different personalities... It won’t be the same for everyone.”

[iyoonga]

Yoona gasped as she realized she had said her own thoughts out loud. Just from the figure from afar, she knew the answer to her own question and hadn’t meant to say it aloud but her mouth decided to have a mind of it’s own as her question spewed out. Her hand flew over her mouth as she glanced over at her unnie, a look of concern clouding her own face. Some time had passed since they had seen or heard about the man who was up ahead but given the fact that Yuri barely ever spoke about him ever since, she wasn’t quite clear as to what the other was feeling.

She knew from firsthand experience that a breakup was never easy, especially in a relationship that was announced to and followed by the public. A high profile relationship always seemed glamorous but there were always aspects that the public would never see. With a breakup, an announcement is made by their company and that is just about all the information that is released unless either side decides to speak up about the relationship afterwards. As Yoona had never heard Yuri utter his name since, she guessed that it still struck an emotional chord with her member.

As she felt her arm being pulled back slightly, she glanced back at her unnie. Her unnie who always radiated with a charismatic glow and confidence now was vulnerable and delicate. Yoona nodded in understanding and wrapped her arm around the older’s shoulder in comfort as she spun them around 180 degrees and led them back in the direction they came from. ❝ I saw a cafe we passed by earlier, do you want to stop by and grab a warm drink? My treat? ❞

[yulkk-blog]

To say that Yuri felt awful was an understatement of century. If there was something she hated the most, it was to feel weak and vulnerable -- and if the feelings could have ever been exceeded by anything worse, it was definitely for those states of mind to negatively affect not only herself, but others too. The idea of being miserable and having it impact her company made it hard to deal with this moment: with the past, with the present, and with how it will keep affecting the future.

“We don’t have to--leave.” She said, in that same, quiet tone of voice, so out of character when it came to her usual manner of speaking. But before she could really follow up on that statement, initially wanting to suggest that they could just stay away, she realized just how silly that would’ve been -- some kind of a ridiculous game of hide-and-seek, as if they were little kids, and not grown-up adults. Even the James Bond himself wouldn’t be able to completely avoid a person attending the same party for the entire evening. So Yuri didn’t say anything more and instead of trying to come up with an impossible solution, made an attempt to swallow that terrible feeling of ruining Yoona’s plans and agreed with the other’s suggestion, a small nod of her head a non-verbal sign of compliance.

When they walked away, the memory of the man who had once been her hopes for a fairytale life embodies, yet ended up merely a bitter memoir of said desires, now behind their backs, Yuri let out a long, deep sigh, the air she didn’t realize she had been holding in her lungs, now escaping together with the frustrations, taking their place like toxic fumes inside of her body. “Thank you.” The words were short, familiar, nearly all too basic to be meaningful; and yet they meant the world right now, all the gratitude, and love, and relief. “I didn’t realize it would--he would--still make me feel... like this.” It felt as if she was at the loss of words, struggling to find the fitting ones to properly convey how she felt to the other. She owed her this much, Yuri felt. “Not until I actually saw him.”

[yulkk-blog]

“Do you remember when we first met?” // WELCOME! ♥

It was one of those questions that brought up many thoughts and memories, usually hidden somewhere within the depths of one’s mind, and then suddenly pulled out on the surface, metaphorically knocking their owner out with their sheer force. Yuri had been so used to having Hyoyeon right next to her, nearly every day, that she never really thought about their origins anymore, always the one to think about the present and future time, rather than the past.

“Why, feeling sentimental suddenly?” The inquiry was playful, a small smile curving the female’s lips as she looked at her friend–her sister–with never-ending fondness and admiration. Thinking all these years back, the first thought that crystallized itself in the brunette’s head, was how much Hyoyeon had grown since the first day they had saw each other, and how proud Yuri was of her for achieving so much throughout the time that passed.

“Those first days and first meetings… Even when I focus on them, they’re clouded memories for me. The big picture is a blur, but I remember vividly some weird, little details, like sprained ankles and celebrating birthdays with choco pies that we were struggling to get money for and then sneakily smuggled them in the dorms.” She said, a small chuckle falling from her lips at the brief memories and snippets of the past flashing behind her eyes.

[ ooc ] thank yooou! 

[skyiscalling]

[yulkk-blog]

うみべの女の子

[yulkk-blog]

Why can't decisions be just "right" and "left" instead of "right" and "wrong"? That way I wouldn't be afraid of failing and I'd simply view two things as different directions and I'd take one path boldly. [[ welcome to SM Town ♡ ]]

Always trust the youngest to touch on the most difficult subjects in the least expecting moments. Yuri had always been quite fascinated with how Seohyun’s mind worked, all complicated in an interesting way, walking circles around basic matters until it makes them to be something completely different than one may have been always thinking about it. Conversations with her, whether absolutely serious or boringly casual, were always a big unknown, having Yuri expecting nothing but prepared for everything -- in the most positive way. The kind of person who Seohyun was, through her mere existence, worked like a spark of sudden energy, causing the personal and mental development of those who kept in touch with her. To Yuri, that was a gift she could’ve never imagined to possessed herself, and therefore valued it deeply in her younger groupmate. 

Still, even after all these years and after learning exactly just how these things with her worked, Yuri still got occassionally surprised by those moments -- the shift of mood, a seed of thought she would’ve never created herself planted inside of her head, watered by Seohyun’s energy, and then blooming with beautiful vines of ideas. Unexpectedly, in the midst of the laziest evening she had experiences in quite a while, she was wide awake, the invisible cogs of flesh and muscle inside of her head working its magic in reply to her dearest friend’s inquiry.

“It makes no sense when you think about it, doesn’t it?” She hummed in response, still sprawled across an extremely comfortable couch like a queen. Or a slob, depending on one’s imagination and interpretation. “I wonder where the wrong came from. It’s like people had to interpret right the way they did, as a positive inclination, rather than a direction, just to justify using a judgmental negative as the opposite. Sometimes it feels like people are intentionally trying to make their own lives more difficult, seeking the unfavorable meanings and ideas.” The older of the two deducted aloud, letting her thoughts flow freely in front of the other, regardless of whether they made sense or not. “On the other hand... if there were no wrong’s, wouldn’t the world fall into anarchy?”

[ ooc ] thank you very much.

[yulkk-blog]

❝ You almost left me at the gas station! ❞ / Welcome to SMTOWN!

“Jonghyun-ah... I would never...” She muttered with certain difficulty, between one spasm of laughter and another, all of them subjected to female’s desperate trials to keep them in check. After all, no matter if it was just a dream that the younger male was telling her about, leaving someone behind in any situation was a serious issue. Except that in this case, it was also so ridiculous, and therefore funny, and Yuri couldn’t help but want to applaud her dream alter-ego for even attempting to do it. She remembered that kind of scenes in comedy movies, where one person would just get in the car and drive away, leaving the other, in more or less desperate state, behind, running and yelling and barely believing in this all happening. She felt almost jealous that it wasn’t her dream to enjoy.

“You’re a small human, for the men’s standards, but aren’t you also the brightest shining thing in our company? I could never just... not see you. And you can’t possibly think that I would ever leave you behind on purpose? Me? The ever so gracious, kind and sympathetic Kwon Yuri?”

[ ooc ] thank you a lot!

[yulkk-blog]

“I guess looks really are everything now.” || Welcome to SMTown!

It was a new feeling to Yuri, to be as busy as she has been this year. Running from one photoshoot to another, from a drama filming location to another’s script reading, and from practice rooms to concert venues, the female idol finally fully experienced the life of an idol who had both the group and individual schedules, the calendar packed and barely any free time for sleep left. Oddly enough, despite the tiredness, constant stress and detachment from her social and private life, Yuri enjoyed it greatly, letting the whirl of work suck her in and feeling at peace with it.

That’s why, when she finally got a few moments to go back home--although it was only a figurative home in the form of her company’s main building--it felt very much like Christmas in October. Suddenly, she realized how homesick she’s felt throughout these long, busy months, and how glad she was to just sit down in a cafeteria and talk with a fellow companymate, a kind junior no less, who seemed to be as thankful to have someone to talk to, as Yuri herself was too.

“Looks have always been everything.” Yuri said over the cafeteria’s outstanding piece of cake and equally good coffee. Usually, she wouldn’t eat sweets recklessly like this, but this day simply called for a small treat, and Seulgi was a perfect person to enjoy this with. “Well, almost everything. But whether it’s sixty percent, or eighty percent, or more, it’s still up to the concept directors and stylists, and there is very little we can say about it. You become just a model. So even though Joy might actually despise her hair, there isn’t much she can do about it, sadly.” The older female reasoned, the tiny cake fork in her hand moving left and right as she gestured a bit while talking. “The comforting thing is, that the longer you do it, the more power over this all you get. At some point, they will start listening to your suggestions too.”

[ ooc ] thank you!

[yulkk-blog]

@yulyulk: ROSEGOLDEA🌷 #BVLGARI #rosegoldea #로즈골데아

[yulkk-blog]

"But that's so weird!" // welcome to sm town \o/

Yuri glanced down at her hands once again, prompted by the younger male’s exclamation. She had had these nails done a few days ago and, while a bit original, no doubt, they looked quite cool to her. 

The key point to the dark design was how the gel extensions at the end of her ring finger’s nails, were pierced very much like an ear would be, a small, silver hoop ring dangling a little bit from it. A Japanese trend, her nail artist said, and Yuri was like why not, just because she felt adventurous and there was nothing to lose with nails that lasted a week before they will have become a memory.

“It might be weird–but it’s fun weird!” She argued, not giving in to Jongdae’s conservative nail art beliefs. “Come on, don’t be a grandpa. Follow the fashion trends.”

[ ooc ] thank you very much!

[yulkk-blog]

"Not everyone can pull off tan skin."//Welcome to SMT

It wasn’t the first time, nor the second, nor even the one hundreth time, seeing these comments. They seemed to happen once in a while, a whole wave of hatred flooding the internet for no reason at all, prompted just by Yuri’s mere existence. It was always a bit ridiculous to her, how much of a reaction her skin color could draw out of the public, out of people who had no business in whether her face and legs were fair and milky white, golden peachy or summer tanned to caramel bronze tones. It didn’t change who she was, after all – neither her attitude, personality or singing, dancing and acting abilities. And yet, it caused an itch that prompted them to log onto an anonymous account and leave these comments – sometimes uncomfortably picky, sometimes mildly insulting, and other times simply hurtful.

A small sigh fell from her lips, as she decisively tapped that x-button, the tablet’s screen flashing from the entertainment website back to its default desktop.

“I know what you’re going to say. Not everyone can, but you do, so be proud of it.” She speculated, trying very hard to not sound too annoyed. She appreciated Kibum’s efforts to cheer her up, after all–even if they didn’t work very well. 

“I think they’re trying to make it a point that nobody can pull off tan skin.” The female’s voice was low in tone and quiet in volume, as if scared that somebody might overhear them and create a scandal. She couldn’t go against the public’s opinions, after all; she could only sit here, read the comments and take it, her confidence frequently shot down by the more or less malicious comments. Nobody cared about what she thought. In these moments and these situation, she was just an object to be looked at and commented on. 

[ ooc ] thank you very much for the welcome.

[yulkk-blog]

“It’s kind of cute, don’t you think?” [ welcome to SMTOWN! i'm excited to roleplay with you! ^^ ]

It’s quite a typical situation in their everyday lives, as far as these periods when they work together as a group go–eight women in a single practice room, all united with a common goal, yet each of them occupied with something else in the downtime moments. Therefore, it didn’t surprise anyone that, just a few minutes prior to scheduled choreography training, while Yuri was scrupulously stretching out, each of her muscles being prepared for what was about to come, Taeyeon busied herself with all of the Soshi’s favorite pasttime: taking selcas. And while Yuri personally could’ve judged nobody being really interested enough in the stretching routine, being the health nut that she was, she had long since accepted the fact that that’s just how things were and the next day, their group chat will be spammed with messages about cramps and muscle pains. Some things just never changed.

Being approached by her fellow, petite groupmate some minutes later, looking fresh and flawless as ever, while Yuri had obvious yet moderately faint signs of fatigue already visible on her face, the latter didn’t even bother commenting on the situation, knowing all too well it would’ve been fruitless. Instead, she stretched back out and glanced at the other’s phone’s screen, prompted by the question that had been asked just a few seconds ago.

“Please, Taengoo.“ The darker haired female sighed, eyes shifting between the phone, showing a quite adorable and definitely attractive selca, and the vocalist’s actual face. ”All your photos are always cute, even when you desperately try for them to not be. You can’t escape the destiny.“

[ ooc ] thank you very much! & likewise.

[yulkk-blog]

❝ do you think they’ll have my size? ❞ // late but welcome to smtown!

Women were usually divided into two groups: those who absolutely loathed shopping and those who loved it and will take any chance to go and buy something. Without doubt, ever since Yuri had learned what is money and how to use it, she belonged to the latter group, always somewhere borderline addicted to the idea of getting new things and experiencing the happiness that followed acquiring another, more or less useful object.

This is why, when the sudden proposal to visit a newly opened, designer jewelry shop from a fellow labelmate came, Yuri accepted without a moment hesitation. Not only was it an opportunity to buy something, but to also bond with a hoobae that she didn’t get to see all that often, despite belonging to the same company, and the female wouldn’t ever refuse such lucky prospect. (Not to mention, Yuri herself didn’t receive an official invitation to the brand’s opening, and through the slight jealousy she felt, she couldn’t just say no.)

They had quite a good time in the end, bonding through random, fashion-related conversations over the multitude of jewelry pieces, trying on one after another from both the men’s and women’s section. When Yuri put on a particularly interesting ring – a massive one, for female piece of accessory, yet simplistic in its design – Sehun seemed to take exceptionally strong interest in it.

“Well, it’s a women’s section.” Yuri pointed out after his company’s inquiry, glancing between the ring on her finger and Sehun’s face. “But your fingers don’t seem to be that big, so maybe the biggest would fit you? Or you could ask for a custom adjustment. Do you really like it that much?” She asked with interest, head tilting a bit in non-verbal expression of curiosity.

[ ooc ] thank you! it’s not late at all.

[yulkk-blog]

“Is that who I think it is?” || Welcome to SM Town! ♡

All it took was a single look, one fraction of a second and half a heartbeat, for Yuri to notice, recognize and confirm the identity of the person discreetly pointed out by her company. The man was tall as ever, still as well built as she had remembered him to be, and spreading a strong, manly aura just like he always had. Oh Seunghwan was quite an extraordinary man, without a doubt. At one point, Yuri thought that he was the man of her dreams, the one by whose side she could’ve pictured herself staying until the end of their days–butr then said dreams were confronted with the harsh reality, making them crash and burn, and have her yield underneath the weight of its burden.

One year later, she was still hurt and devastated–not just because the relationship didn’t work out, but because of the realization that, being who she is and how her life looked like, it was borderline impossible to experience a fairytale love she had always, deep down, foolishly and naively, dreamed about.

She felt a bit ashamed, to grab onto Yoona’s arm and gently yank it backwards, as Yuri took an instinctive step behind her. Despite being an experienced adult, in this moment, she felt like a teenager girl again, dealing with her very first breakup. “Let’s not go in any further. Please.” She muttered quitely, the suggestion followed by the most silent plea of her life. “I don’t think I’m ready to just–greet him in public.”

[ ooc ] thank you, thank you!