clair de lune

this is where my thoughts came to life

[ravenwordsx]

on finding love everywhere you look <3

[yumilityyy]

06 | The thoughts that haunt me before graduation:

I hope the realities of life never kill the child within me who dreams.

I hope that no matter how difficult, disappointing, or uncertain life becomes, I never lose that part of myself that dares to imagine something greater. The part that believes there is more beyond what I can see, more beyond what others expect of me, and more beyond the limits that fear tries to place on my future.

I hope I never become so consumed by survival that I forget how to dream. That I never become so familiar with reality that I stop believing in possibility. And when life inevitably asks me to grow up, I hope it teaches me wisdom without taking away my wonder.

Because long after ambitions change and plans fall apart, I want the child inside me—the one who dreamed without limits—to still be alive.

[yumilityyy]

05 | The thoughts that haunt me every night:

I wish there was a way to know the future. To see whether I became everything I hoped and dreamed of being when I was a kid, or whether I became the complete opposite. Did I become the person I always wanted to be, or did I slowly turn into everything I once said I never would? That thought scares me. Sometimes I wonder: what if this is as far as I go? What if I work tirelessly now, pour years of effort into my dreams, and still end up like so many people who once dreamed just as fiercely but never got where they hoped to be? What if, in the end, I have no choice but to settle for a job that simply puts food on the table and keeps me alive? There is a fear in me—a deep, relentless fear of becoming ordinary, of living a life defined only by survival. Not because there is anything wrong with honest work, but because I have always felt there was something more waiting for me. I want to be more. I want to do more. I want to go farther than the limits I see around me. And perhaps what scares me most is not failure itself, but the possibility of looking back one day and realizing I never became the person I believed I could be.

[yumilityyy]

04 | The thoughts that haunt me every night:

Pre-pandemic was pre-you

and I miss the me from before you.

[yumilityyy]

03 | The thoughts that haunt me every night:

I was one of the millions who died during the pandemic.

Tonight, I've come to realize that life indeed ends in 2019.. at least for me.

Now, six years later, I’m still grieving the version of me that died a long time ago.

[perfectquote]

“You have to love somebody that much to also hate them that much, too.”

— Sherman Alexie, The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

[yumilityyy]

[yumilityyy]

Have you ever felt so burnt out that you needed to be physically away from everyone because if not then you'll crash out in front of them and you're afraid that it'll destroy everything you worked so hard for?

Yeah, same.

[quotefeeling]

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

[thoughtkick]

“Some words stay in your head long after theyre spoken.”

— Robin Roe

[perfectfeelings]

“People think being alone makes you lonely, but I don’t think that’s true. Being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliest thing in the world.”

— Kim Culbertson

[thoughtkick]

“It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked.”

— Rob Bell

[yumilityyy]

02 | The thoughts that haunt me every night:

The Knowing

I loved him since I was sixteen—

so young, yet certain,

with a heart that knew only his name.

He came and went like seasons,

but every return felt like reason enough

to keep waiting,

to keep hoping,

to keep believing

that love could be that simple.

For the longest time, I was his—

even without promises, even without clarity.

I gave him my loyalty freely,

held nothing back,

even when I had every reason to let go.

I dreamed of futures with his name in them.

I swore I’d never love another.

Even talking to someone else

felt like a sin I couldn’t confess.

I held on for so long—

to the idea of him,

to the dream of us.

But today,

I saw him again after all this time.

And for the first time,

I didn’t feel the old ache.

No flutter, no longing,

no breath caught in my throat.

Just silence.

Just peace.

And in that quiet, I realized:

I’m free.

I’m not afraid anymore.

Not afraid to lose him.

Because if it’s meant to be, it will be.

And if it isn’t, then it won’t.

There’s a calm in me now—

a kind of security I never knew before.

I used to chase certainty,

cling to the thought that it had to be him.

But now, I can finally say:

I’m okay if it isn’t.

Still—

what hurts the most

is not that we didn’t become something more,

but how easily the bond we had

was broken by something so small.

Something so trivial,

yet it carried the weight

of everything we built.

Like strangers now.

After all the years of knowing each other’s silences,

we’re strangers again.

Not enemies.

Just… distant.

Like we never stayed up late talking,

never shared those quiet, knowing looks.

Like we were never friends.

And maybe that’s the real heartbreak—

not losing the love,

but losing the knowing.

[yumilityyy]

Judging someone for their mistakes and telling the world not to judge you for yours is pure hypocrisy.

You make mistakes too, don't be too proud.

[deadlypoetacademia]

[feelingsoftheday]

i never leave when it gets hard, i leave when it gets disrespectful.

[yumilityyy]

There is so much beauty in vulnerability.

In vulnerability comes freedom and healing. Yet a lot of us are afraid of vulnerability. Why?

Because vulnerability requires courage.

Vulnerability pushes us to remove all the beautiful flowers in our garden that we use to hide the grave underneath it.

It's letting people see us naked. Our naked heart, naked soul and naked wounds.

So, if you have the means to be vulnerable, you're lucky. Don't let the world take away your vulnerability because they think it's a weakness.

Let me tell you something, vulnerability is not a weakness. The world just likes to think of it that way to avoid facing it because they are afraid of it.

Vulnerability requires so much courage and for that, you are so strong for being vulnerable.

- @yumilityyy