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Goodbye forever, love.

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(Photo credits : google)

Formerly known as "alingbata," Marra has now started a new blog which will cater her new found...

Please follow my new blog!

Love,

Marra

#follow

IDK what I did to deserve him. He does everything I want! Lol.

Sobrang laughtrip talaga, at sobrang mahal ko siya.

#makeup video #boyfriend #share

Recently, I've been reading the letters I wrote a few months ago. I went through everything and realized that every letter I wrote for myself and for other people were very articulate. And as I try to write a letter for you, I keep on losing my train of thoughts. I lose track of the things I want to say to you. And I wonder why it's so hard for me to express my feelings through writing when I know very well that it's something I'm good at. I always know the right words. I always know what to say. But to you, I don't. I become too lost for words. And as I go through every word I'm typing right now, I think I may have found the answer to my question. It's quite puzzling that in all the letters I wrote a long time ago, they had one thing in common; the words I wrote were triggered by pain. And so I concluded that I am a good writer when I write about pain. Knowing this, I now know why I'm having a hard time writing to and for you. It's because everything about you triggers only one feeling---happiness. The thought of you makes me smile, my heart cheers when I see you---even only from my phone screen, and my dream to finally touch and feel you thrills me. I know it's hard to believe since I was once a non-believer of long distance relationships. Loving someone from a distance is something I never thought of. I'm not a fan of relationships where you can't be with your significant other. I laughed at people who failed in maintaining their long distance relationships and was proud enough to tell them, "I told you so." I was clueless about how people fall in love with someone who isn't beside them, someone who can't touch you, hug you, kiss you and be with you. I didn't know how it worked for them. And I was never curious about it. Until you happened. A glimpse of a new perspective, and my game changer---you. I must admit, I'm a very impatient person. I don't like long queues, I usually choose fast food over real food just because I couldn't wait, I always request my laundries to be prioritized and rushed even if I have to pay more and my biggest pet peeve is people who comes in late. I don't like waiting for anyone. But with you... my patience grew stronger. Waiting for months, may it be two or more months, is something new to me. And that's actually one of the first lessons you taught me unconsciously. You taught me that love is patient. I've been through a lot before I met you and I'm glad you welcomed someone like me; scarred and imperfect, into your life. My traumatising past almost stopped me from believing you and your intentions were genuine, and I'm glad you didn't let that happen. You made sure I felt safe, you have always put me first and you have always ensured my comfort. And there, I learned, love is kind. Dominance in relationships is something I value. It may not be applicable to the physical strength aspect but I always made sure I don't lose during arguments and that I don't end up wrong. But, thanks to you, I've learned that the most essential part of all relationships is to be able to correct each other without hesitation lovingly. You never allow me to do things I'll regret in the long run and I love how you always correct me when I'm at fault. Because of you, I've learned that love always protects because I felt how willing you are to protect me despite the distance that separates us. Love always trusts because I felt how your trust is able to sail in ships and fly through planes. Love always hopes and I'm able to see how hopeful you are that we would be able to see each other soon; and your perseverance to pursue me and to be with me is so evident that I do not doubt at all. Love, you may not have been my first love, but to me, you are the only love that matters. Your eyes are the only eyes I want to stare at and you are the only one I want to wake up to every single day. You are the only one I want to talk about my day and your arms are the only arms I want to comfort me until I fall asleep. You are the only kind of love I want to have until my very last breath and your hands are the only hands I want to hold when I'm in pain. You are my one great love and you are definitely my last. I'm grateful that we finally found each other. And baby, I can’t thank the stars enough for granting my wish; for making you mine. Who would've known that the man I met in the most unconventional way two years ago will make my life undergo a whole new twist two years after? If I happen to have another chance in wishing, I wish I hugged you the first time I met you. I regret letting that chance pass by. Now, I wish to see you sooner because baby, I crave for your presence and it’s killing me. But... I promise to stay patient because I know you’re worth the wait. Love, Latch

#love #ldr #long distance #mikey #soon

Out of the blue

there is someone new

Out of the blue

it’s a clearer view

Unexpected, a big surprise

he seemed like a prize

A jackpot you just won

just out of the blue

And you can’t thank

the stars enough

For making your wishes

come to life

out of the blue

even when you undress her you are searching for me i am sorry i taste so good when the two of you make love it is still my name that rolls off your tongue accidently

rupi kaur

#quote #rupi kaur #milk and honey

Greyscale

GradWAITING

Three years ago, I promised myself I’ll hoard awards in college. It was because I graduated with a few recognition in high school. I wanted to be more, and I believed I can offer more. The moment I stepped into the doors of my beloved institution, I knew it was a new beginning. A moment worth savouring. I was fuelled with overflowing motivation. And I was firmly holding onto a dream.

Plans after college were part of my everyday thoughts. I was so sure of what I wanted to do once I marched in the halls of PICC. I always wanted to become an international lawyer and an ambassadress if reality permits. I know how to get there. Take up the Civil Service Exam and then study law. Once I pass the bar, I can also take the Foreign Service Exam. It was a clear path.

But here I am, still torn of what I want to do after my graduation that will be held in a few weeks. Yes, I passed the Civil Service Exam. But no, I’m not sure if I should work before I get into law school. Once I get nearer to my dreams, everything becomes a blur. I am... getting lost.

#personal #gradwaiting #graduating #college

Holy Week Getaway 2016

Ilocos Region

Ilocos is a region in the Philippines, encompassing the northwestern coast of Luzon island. It’s known for its historic sites, beaches and the well-preserved Spanish colonial city of Vigan. (Wikipedia)

Travel time from Manila to Ilocos Sur: Approx 8 hours

During long travels, I make sure that I am very comfortable. Waking up irritated after a nap while traveling will surely ruin my mood for the trip. So I ought to have my travel buddies; neck pillow, good music and a blanket (if necessary). For this trip, my parents made sure that we will travel comfortably, which is why we had 3 SUVs for the trip.

Stopovers are necessary. We arrived at Ilocos Sur at around 7am and we had to take a stopover for to grab breakfast. Luckily, my Dad’s uper-class, who’s actually my brother’s Ninong also went to the same gas station we were having breakfast at. We went to Ilocos without an itinerary, we do that all the time, we love spontaneity. But this time, I knew that wouldn’t work because it’s a peak season. Dad’s uper-class advised that we should go to Ilocos Norte first. Usually, tourist would roam around Ilocos Sur and then Norte. But we took the advise and we went straight to Ilocos Norte to see the tourists spots in the area.

Travel time from Ilocos Sur to Ilocos Norte: Approx 4 hours

*Excuse the Snapchat quality, pls*

We had lunch somewhere in Ilocos Norte. There are karinderyas along the main road, convenient ain’t it? Food is also good, esp. if you’re not picky/maarte.

First stop: Bacarra Church/Domeless Tower

Fun fact: It’s called Domeless Tower because it the tower lost its dome during an earthquake in 1983.

Nothing to do, really. It’s just a quick stop to say a little prayer and take bathroom breaks.

It was very sunny during the trip. It’s also exhausting to spend time outside the car esp during noon. So make sure you’re wearing protection against the heat! You don’t want sunburns and skin diseases, do you? For me, it’s also convenient and smart to keep a spray mist during trips. I personally use Avéne Thermal Spring Water (Php 3,000, Lazada) as skin refresher. It helps me feel relaxed after taking lotsa pictures under the sun. Good lighting is divine and all but don’t risk your skin!

After the quick stop at Bacarra Church, we went straight to Cape Bojeador Lighthouse (Faro de Cabo Bojeador). The place is inaccessible to those without a car, unless you want to do a uphill hike. Cars should be parked once you get uphill. But you have to ride a tricycle to the lighthouse. We chose to walk since my Dad told us that it’s just near. I suggest you walk, my Dad was right. Don’t waste a tricycle fare just to get there.

The red circle indicates where the lighthouse is located. The place is picturesque. Although I overheard a lot of ghost stories while enjoying the place. I recently read some articles about it online, too. To those who loves ghost stories, help yourself and read this.

After the lighthouse, we went to the famous Bangui Windmills. There’s another set of windmills (sucks that I forgot the name of the place) but it doesn’t look enticing unlike the one in Bangui Windmills because the windmills are too far from eachother.

And then we went to Pagudpud to look for a place to stay the night at. We ended up getting a transient house because we’re a group of 18 people, 10 adults and 8 kids.

I took a quick dip in the beach during the night but I wasn’t able to wake up early to swim the next morning. We had to leave early because we still have a lot of places to visit.

We took photos in a cool rock formation near Hannah’s Beach Resort Zipline. It’s on the way out.

There are kids in the area who will help you take great photos. I swear those kids know angles! If you also want funny pictures of you trying to pick another person up or stopping the rock’s hole to close, look for the kids. Thank me later.

It took hours before we got back to Laoag (I said back ‘cause we already passed by the area but skipped it since our plan was to start up-North.

Loag Sand Dunes was definitely the best tourist attraction in Ilocos, for me. It costs Php 2,500 to rent a 4x4 for 5-6 people. I suggest that you look for a driver named Kuya Denden. He’ll make your ride more thrilling! I swear I felt like dying because of too much fun. He drives like a real racer, lol. Make sure you don’t bring weak monopods and other valuable items. We saw a group of boys who lost a phone. Kuya Denden said it’s hopeless for you to find something that fell in the sand. Some part sinks, some don’t. You’ll never know.

The place looks like a dessert but for some reason, it’s located near the beach. It’s also included in the stops.

And yes, I had to wear a souvenir shirt because my Mom wanted the whole family to wear something similar, meh.

You can also rent a bike (?) for Php 2,000/hr if you can drive alone. And that’s me, trying to channel my inner Angelna Jolie.

From Laoag, we travelled to Paoay. The place also has its own sand dunes and we were told that it’s more thrilling in Paoay Sand Dunes. We weren’t able to try it because it was closed, so I can’t compare.

We took another quick stop in a Church in Paoay.

Paoay Church (Iglesia de San Agustín de Paoay)

We headed to Batac, Ilocos Norte to visit Marcos Mausoleum.

We got there super late, maybe 7pm? The mausoleum is closed at 4pm. But luckily, we were assisted by Paoay’s chief of police, Dad’s former PNPA classmate. We got in the mausoleum (for free, but the entrance fee is Php50/head) at 8pm and it’s scary because it’s really dark. But the intention was to pay respect to the late President Marcos. I wonder how much they’re paying to preserve his body, though. And I wish that his remains get to be buried as soon as possible at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. I know how his dictatorship made a lot of Filipinos hate him, but I firmly believe that he deserves to be buried at the Libingan ng mga Bayani, for the reason that he is a former President and that he is also from the military.

We immediately left the mausoleum after that. Btw, you should try Batac’s empanada. Batac, Ilocos Norte is the so-called Empanada capital of the Philippines. Try it, it’s incomparable.

We stayed at San Nicolas over night at a relative’s house. The next morning, we headed to Vigan.

We had brunch at Kusina Felicita in Vigan. The place really look good and you can take good photos, too! I will edit this post and add photos as soon as I find my photos taken in the restaurant.

We were also assisted by Vigan City’s chief of police, also my Dad’s batchmate. We then headed to Baluarte Zoo. I don’t really like Zoos because I don’t like the fact that animals are caged. Anyhow, what I love about the place is the Safari Gallery.

The animals in the photo are replicas of the ones killed by our very own Safari hunter, Chavit Singson. I don’t know about the replicas though, it smelled real, lol.

We then went to Pagburnayan Pottery. I was able to make my own pot, btw. I wasn’t able to save the snap I took though (lol, loser). The video of pottery making is also uploaded on my facebook account. Check it out.

Our last stop was of course Calle Crisologo. It’s actually perfect to be the last stop ‘cause you don’t really have much to do there. I heard it’s also pricey to spend the night in Vigan.

I wore a souvenir shirt, again. ‘Cause my Mom said so, lol. I actually hated the fact that the street was full of people and it felt like I was in Divisoria for thrift shopping. But still, the place feels nostalgic although I wasn’t born in the era I’m feeling nostalgic of.

Vigan is also famous for Bagnet and Longganisa. They sell a pack of Longganisa Php120 and a kilo of Bagnet for Php 380. We hoarded Longganisa and Bagnet and you should do that, too. After Vigan, we went straight home.

All in all, Ilocos is worth the travel. Tourist attractions were far from eachother and it took hours of drive to go to one place to another. You gotta have patience if you travel. We all know that. There are more tourist attractions that we missed because we didn’t have much time. So I suggest that you make your itinerary before traveling (although spontaneity is more fun, hehe).

#ilocos #marratravels #photography #philippines #morefuninthephilippines

The Journey Back to You

The journey back to you was a maze I couldn’t just get out of. It was a never-ending labyrinth. The journey started when you first hurt me. It was just a little revenge, revenge I didn’t know would escalate so quickly. It took me a lot of months, a lot of strangers and a lot of mistakes until I found my way back to you. I have been seeing different people, mostly strangers whom I have never imagined sharing a kind of bond that is so intense that should have been just for the two of us. I have seen better versions of you with a different set of eyes. I have kissed different lips just because I miss the taste of yours and I couldn’t find it. It took me a lot of time before I realized that I have been away from you even when we’re together. I have been away and exploring a bigger world, believing that I will find someone better and that if I found one, I’m letting you go. I have been lost even when you were holding my hand, lost and bewildered because I was searching for something else, for someone else, someone I don’t even know. I have been wrapped by someone else’s body, someone who’s trying to give me warmth and comfort I did not need. I have been thinking a lot about things I should have never thought about, I have been searching for answers when I don’t even have questions, and I have been looking for something I have not lost nor possessed. And then one day, without even realizing that the quest was about to end, and my games were about to be over, I finally found and met the one I was looking for. My right kind of guy, my dream guy. The day I met him was surreal, it felt magical to know that you have found the guy version of you. I knew we were soulmates. We had a lot of similarities, we agreed a lot and though it was just another temporary bliss, it was something special, it was my game changer. And you know what’s ironic? He led me to you without him even knowing it. He opened my eyes because I looked at him and saw that he was all I wanted and that he was everything I have asked for. I would have given my all just to give myself an assurance that he will be asking for more and that he will also want me in return. I could have done that, because I did it before. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t because I knew, I knew that the only reason why he is before my eyes and that I could hold his hand or at least kiss him is because I am about to come up with the answer I was desperately looking for. I was not looking for you when I was with him, I was entirely focused on knowing him more. It was different. You both are incomparable. He was not you. He was different. And that answered my question... I have been searching for better versions of you and I couldn’t find one because it would only mean that it won’t be you. And that I have been wasting my time looking for something or someone I don’t even know when all I needed was you, you who have been there all along and have forgiven my mistakes a million times, you who loved me at my worst. I have been making my own labyrinth. The maze should have been all about loving what I had, even at its worst. The journey should have been a journey for two, a trip to a bliss we have been dreaming of. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry I got lost, I’m sorry I had to explore on my own. And even though this journey has led me to an answer which is you, I think that the price of this quest is you. I have lost you when you should have been the prize, you should have been a trophy for me. But I have gotten myself into this journey... that’s why I lost you.

#confession #love #cheater #cheating #you #revenge

Malakas ang buhos ng ulan habang naghihintay ako ng masasakyan. Nanlalamig na ako't nanghihina sa sobrang pagkakabasa ko sa ulan. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko kakalabitin ang mga taong nasa harapan kong matiyaga ring nagaabang.

'Tila di nila ako nakikita dahil wala silang pakialam. May isang lalaking nakatitig sa'kin habang naglalakad siya sa harapan ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganun ang titig niya. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit hindi niya ako inalok ng tulong.

Hindi pa siya nakakalayo nang mawala lahat ng tao sa waiting shed. Kailangan ko na ng tulong at yung lalaking 'yun lang ang alam kong makakatulong sa'kin. Inipon ko lahat ng natitira kong lakas at hinabol ko siya, sumisigaw ng "tulungan mo naman ako, parang awa mo na." Pero tila lalo niyang binibilisan ang pagtakbo niya.

Hindi ako tumigil sa pagsunod sa mga hakbang niya. Walang laman ang kalsada kundi kaming dalawa lang. Sinundan ko siya hanggang sa tumigil siya sa harap ng isang bahay.

Isang bahay na napaka-pamilyar sa'kin. Pumasok ako at nagulat sa dami ng tao sa loob. Bahay namin ito. Anong nangyari? Kinabahan ako at tila ba lalo akong nanlamig sa takot. May nangyari ba sa mga kapatid ko? Sa pamilya ko? Nasaan sila? Bakit nagkakagulo ang mga tao? Pinilit kong makipagsiksikan para mapasok ang bahay. Nagulat ako nang makita kong... ako pala ang nakaratay, basang basa sa ulan at pinalilibutan ng sariling dugo.

How do I say goodbye to what we had? The good times that made us laugh Outweigh the bad. I thought we'd get to see forever But forever's gone away It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. I don't know where this road Is going to lead All I know is where we've been And what we've been through. If we get to see tomorrow I hope it's worth all the wait It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. And I'll take with me the memories To be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. And I'll take with me the memories To be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

#music #jason mraz

Sa isang relasyon, pwede kang mag grow pero pwede ka ring masira. Maraming swerte sa’tin dahil natatagpuan nila ang taong tutulugan silang mag grow. At ang mas maganda? Sasabayan ka nila. Sabay kayong mag bibigay ng inspirasyon sa isa’t isa. Sabay kayong bubuo ng mga pangarap. Sabay niyo rin aabutin ang mga ito. Minsan, mas nakikilala mo pa ang sarili mo dahil sa kanya. May mga bagay kang madidiskubre tungkol sa sarili mo na siya lang din ang rason kung bakit nage-exist. Pero tulad ng positibo at negatibo, may kapares din ito na kabaligtaran ng mga kagandahang nangyayari sa isang relasyon. Ito ang pagkasira ng isa sa inyo. May mga dahilan kung bakit nangyayari ‘to pero kadalasan, ang dahilan ay dahil gusto nating gumanti. Pag nasaktan tayo ng taong mahal natin, minsan, imbis na iwan na lang sila, mas pipiliin pa nating gumanti. Hindi natin alam na para lang makaganti ay nasisira natin ang mga pagkatao na’tin. Minsan nagpapakababa tayo. Hindi ko na alam kung gaano kadalas mangyari ang mga minsan na ‘to. Pwede rin namang ikasisira natin ang pagtrato ng taong mahal natin sa’tin. Na kahit na masakit na ang mga sinasabi nila sa’tin, nagbibingihan tayo. Pero hindi natin alam na unti-onti tayong sinisira ng mga ‘to. Kadalasan, hindi natin pinapansin ang mga “maliliit” na bagay na ‘to. Pero sa huli, masasabi ka na lang sa sarili mo, kahit na nag grow ka o nasira, “Hindi na ako ‘to. Hindi ko na maramdaman ang sarili ko.”

#personal #real life

By the end of November, December na. Okay, pang-inis lang talaga yang first sentence na ‘yan. Kidding aside, OJT ko na sa January and I still don’t know where to apply. Sa totoo lang, nawawalan na ako ng gana ngayon. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pero nahihirapan ako dahil napapagod na ako. Nagsisisi akong nag transition term pa ako dahil sana pala, nagpahinga na lang muna ako. Alam kong wala rin naman talaga akong choice dahil inisip ko yung rent nun sa condo. Pero kung pwede lang, sana nakapagpahinga man lang ako.

Nakakadrain ng utak lahat ng subjects ko ngayon. Pero alam kong given na yun dahil nga majors na at last academic term ko na. Nakakalungkot lang din na baka never na ako maging part ng DL. Nakakalungkot dahil ‘di ko man lang naparamdam sa Mommy ko yun. Lagi na lang akong “Muntik maging DL” every term dahil palagi na lang may prof na nanghuhula ng grade *ehem Spanish profs*, may profs na madamot sa grade at feeling major *ehem FILIP*, at may mga ambassadors na ang pinakamataas na grade sa kanila ay 2.5 at hindi 4. Maka-uno ka lang, masaya ka na. Pero syempre, sinisisi ko sa kanila lahat kahit na alam kong may pagkukulang din naman ako. Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit ni kailanman, ‘di ako napagbigyan.

Napaparanoid narin ako sa napapalapit na graduation. Hindi ako makapaniwalang mamartsa na ako (sana). Pero natatakot ako na baka kung kailan huling acad term na, may ibagsak pa akong subject. Yup, masaya na akong regular parin ako at wala akong ibinagsak (wala na sana talaga). Tapos... natatakot ako sa future kahit na may agreement na kami ni Mommy na mag-aaral ako ulit pagka-graduate. Either law or Masters sa IS. Pero ‘yun na nga. Aasa na naman ako. Hindi talaga ako mapakali. Halata naman siguro dahil sobrang disoriented ng thoughts ko di ba?

#personal #graduation #schette

I’m frightened of what I’ve become.

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