The particular segment of medical racism that says âBlack people are built tougherâ is a great example of why âpositiveâ stereotypes donât exist.Â
realizing cis women also struggle with âpassingâ a lot of times and has a lot of the same issues with dysphoria trans women have (issues with putting on/losing weight, dissatisfied with bust size, not feeling âfeminineâ enough, etc.) has done a lot to combat dysphoria for me, cause itâs like, wow, we really have a lot more in common than we have in difference huh
terfs are starting to find this post, and i gotta say: terfs getting mad at a post that explicitly acknowledges cis womenâs struggles and with notes full of cis women agreeing and talking about their own struggles and experiences really speaks volumes about how anti-feminist, and frankly misogynistic, terfs really are, that they donât even give a shit about cis womenâs struggles and experiences
She was born to a rich plantation family in the American South during the time of slavery. She owned a slave, Hetty, a girl her parents gave her when she was a child. She was absolutely the sort of person whose racism you could justify as being âof her timeâ and âjust the way she was raisedâ.
And she cited the injustices she saw growing up on the plantation as the motivation for her becoming an abolitionist as an adult.
When she was a kid, she tried to give bible lessons to the slaves on her Dadâs plantation, and taught her own slave to read and write. As an adult, she and her sister campaigned for the end of slavery. When she found out that one of her brothers had raped one of his own slaves and gotten her pregnant three times, she welcomed her nephews into the family and paid for education for the two that wanted it.
This was a woman who was raised in a culture of slavery, looked around her as a child and said âhey, wait a minute, weâre all assholes!â and spent the rest of her life trying to put things right.
This is something Iâve been forced to learn in the past two years. The world around me is turning into something I was raised to believe could only happen in history books, or maybe in other parts of the world that sort of belonged in history books.
The more I see this happeningâand the more I learn about the past and how hard people did fight to stop Hitler from initially rising to power, or to point out the humanity of slavesâthe more apparent it becomes that we have always had these choices, and theyâve always been the same.
And weâre always going to have genuinely appealing opportunities to make the worst possible choices again, no matter how much more modern the world appears.
George Washington owned slaves right? Most of the founding fathers did, and in grade school, to smooth over that abuse of humanity by an American hero, we as children were told âYes, George Washington did own slaves but he freed them when he died.â And you infer that he didnât like slavery but it was an economic necessity.
And then youâre in your mid twenties watching a food show on Netflix and you learn that because Pennsylvania was a Quaker colony, they led the nation in emancipation and if an enslaved person was in Philadelphia for more than six months, they automatically became freed. And the young nationâs early capital was in Philadelphia, where Washington brought his household of enslaved people with him. And he took them back to Virginia every five months for a time so as to start that clock over and keep them enslaved.
Thereâs a trend with historians to want so badly to maintain the prestige of George Washington and an exceptional and morally pristine figure. And true, there are many instances in his writing where he sounds like his opinion on slavery as an institution is turning and that he knew slavery was wrong. But his actions. He literally had to do absolutely nothing to free his household staff, and took great pains to keep them enslaved.
Itâs important to remember that too. That there were people in positions of enormous power, who know what theyâre doing is wrong, and choose to do it anyway.
Do not let anyone tell you his teeth were made of wood.
Lafayette left money in his will to Jefferson, to pay for the freedom and education of some of Jeffersonâs slaves. Did Jefferson respect his friendâs wishes? No, he did not. He pocketed the financial gift himself and kept his slaves. That was a choice he made.
đ⨠A Voice from Gaza: Holding onto Hope â¤ď¸âđŠš
Hi, my name is Mosab, and I just want to take a moment to say thank you. Your kindness, your generosity, and your willingness to listen have meant more to me and my family than I can ever express.
When I first shared my story, I didnât know what to expect. I was scared, exhausted, and uncertain if anyone would care. But you did. You showed up. And because of you, hope feels a little less distant today.
đ Our Journey So Far
With your support, weâve been able to find small moments of relief in the midst of overwhelming hardship. Every donation, every share, and every kind message has given us the strength to keep going.
But our struggle isnât over. Every day, we are reminded of what weâve lost and the challenges that still lie ahead.
đ Still Searching for Stability: We are doing everything we can to secure a safe and steady future.
đ˘ The Pain of Loss Never Fades: The absence of 25 loved ones weighs heavily on us every day.
đ Dreams Still on Hold: Survival takes all our strength, but we still believe in rebuilding.
đ How You Can Help Us Keep Going
Even the smallest act of kindness can make a difference:
đ A $10 donation may seem small, but to us, itâs a lifeline.
đ A reblog can help us reach someone who can support us.
If you canât donate, just sharing this post helps more than you know. Every share is another chance for someone to see our story, to care, and to help.
My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I am a survivor of the war in Gaza. Life as I knew it has been completely destroyed. I have lost my home, my
đ You Are Part of Our Story
Your support isnât just about donationsâitâs about reminding us that we are not forgotten. That there is still kindness in the world. That even in the darkest times, there are people who care.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping us get this far. You are part of our story now.
With love and endless gratitude,
Mosab and Family â¤ď¸
Hello, my name is Mosab, and I live in Gaza with my family. Life here has become more difficult than I could have ever imagined, and Iâm reaching out with hope that someone will hear our story.
The war has taken so much from usâour home, our stability, and, most painfully, 25 of our beloved family members. Their absence is an unimaginable void, and every day is a struggle to survive amidst loss and hardship.
Our Reality Right Now:
đ Struggling to Stay Afloat: With no stable source of income, even the most basic needsâfood, clean water, and shelterâare uncertain.
đ Dreams Put on Hold: The future we once imagined has been replaced by the daily fight to get through each day.
đ˘ A Deep Loss That Canât Be Replaced: The pain of losing 25 loved ones is something no one should have to endure.
An Update on Our Fundraiser
Thanks to the kindness of generous souls, we have raised $809 so farâbut we are still far from our goal of $90,000. Every contribution, no matter how small, brings us closer to securing basic necessities and rebuilding our lives.
How You Can Help:
A small donation can make a big impactâeven $10 can provide relief in ways you can't imagine.
If donating isnât possible, sharing this post is just as valuable. Every share helps us reach someone who might be able to help.
Your kindness gives us hope in the darkest of times. Thank you for standing with us and for reminding us that even in the worst moments, humanity still shines.
My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I am a survivor of the war in Gaza. Life as I knew it has been completely destroyed. I have lost my home, my
"The Bride" not having a name outside of her relation to a man she wants nothing to do with. Her body being constantly objectified and sexualized before she was even conceived. Her face, her torso, even each of her individual, rotting limbs being carefully selected to fit the sexual preferences of an absolute stranger. Her skull being beaten in and manhandled during a man's jealous outburst, her head rolling to the ground like an inanimate object. The story of Marilyn Monroe's body. The way women cannot rest even in death.
The constant expectation of who The Bride will be before she even is. The way patriarchal societies buy pink onesies and Barbie cribs and headbands with bows before a baby is even born. The stain of forever being "just" a woman. The way this mirrors Eric's flowers, the way he love-bombs her and lays ownership to her before she's even developed consciousness.
The way Eric insists that his bride doesn't need to develop basic language skills or even a rudimentary understanding of the world around her, because her education doesn't directly benefit him. The way he was created to usher in a new era of scientific discovery for mankind, while she was created only to please him. The Biblical story of Eve being carved from Adam's rib. The way organized religion trains women to believe that their only use lies in being obedient and subservient to the men around them.
The Bride being continuously punished for her sexual awakening, for any exercise of her own autonomy or free will. The way the only âloveâ she has ever known was brutally murdered because she refused to cater to the expectations of the men around her, because she denied the title that was thrust upon her at birth. The way that men have always done this to womenâ labeling us as "jezebels" or "harlots" or "whores" or "bitches" or "sluts" for refusing to fall into a role we never consented to performing.
And, of course, the fact that Eric continues to feel entitled to her body even after she tells him no in every conceivable way. "Why won't she let me touch her?!" The parallels between his behavior and that of so many incels who believe that women exist solely to serve their purposes. "She is to love me!" The way that, after losing her, he spends his time partying on yachts with models and playgirls, because that's all women are to him... just pretty objects. The way he bastardizes the word "love" because he's never taken the time to know or love her, not really.
The inherent trauma of her birth and natureâ the way the horrorshow of her creation reflects the unspoken horror of every woman's creation. "She is but a cluster of fear and not knowing."
Ohhhhh Mary Shelley I fear you would love this show...
This character is my very first OC that I created accidentally. Accidentally because I'm just making out things and didn't really think much about it, until I see the results and fell in love with it.
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.Â
notes. 11k wc. finally. i wrote this with only one eye open so please don't mind the inconsistencies, i'm trying my best to tie any loose ends before we reach the ending. if the writing feels rushed, itâs bcos iâm just ready to wrap up this series đ
series masterlist -> episode thirteen
You thought everything that had happened last night was just a dream.Â
Because you had gotten used to the constant disappointments and vicissitudes of your life, sharing such domestic bliss with the person you loved had started to feel far-fetched for you. It had become an unachievable fantasy, a colorful delusion created by your mind to conceal the actual darkness of pain that surrounded it.Â
But as you opened your eyes that morning, the familiar warmth of a sleeping Satoruâs embrace was the reality you never saw coming. The steady rise and fall of his chest, the comfort of his arms around you, it all felt surrealâlike a fragile dream teetering on the edge of shattering. You wondered if it would be okay to stay here for now. To forget about the rest of the damn world and remain in his arms, staring at his beautiful saintly face, listening to his slow and steady heartbeat.
When Satoru stirred from his sleep, you knew your daydream was over. But he was pulling you dangerously close with arms wrapped around your frame and his lips pressed against your forehead. He was only half-awake, it seemed. His long white lashes reminded you of Sachiroâs as you watched him mumble incoherent words from his sleep, something along the lines of, âIâm sorryâ and âAkemiâ.Â
That was your cue to pull yourself away from him. With guilt now coursing through your body, you sat up from bed and covered your naked body with the duvet. Akemi. You had completely abandoned the thought of Akemi last night, and now you were here in bed with âsupposedlyâ her man. As much as your heart was in bliss from last nightâs events, the dark and cold reality was that you slept with a man who wasnât yours. It was a principle you told yourself you would never cross, but everything concerning Satoru Gojou seemed to be bringing you to that.Â
âSatoru, hey.â Your voice almost came out as a plea as you shook his arm, your guilt eating at you with every minute that passed. âWake up.âÂ
His eyelashes fluttered as he struggled to open his eyes, blinded by the sunlight that gleamed through the window as he stretched his arms and looked at you. âY/N?â he softly whispered, a hand tenderly placed on your back as he scooted closer. âWhatâs wrong?âÂ
Slight disbelief blanketed your gaze. âYou think this isnât wrong?âÂ
Satoru let out a sigh of exasperation, pulling his head back, and covering his eyes with a hand as if last nightâs events played through his mind scene to scene. He was obviously caught in a mindwreck thinking about the girl he had just cheated on. âIt shouldnât be,â he mumbled, âBut it feels like it.â
âSo you do regret it,â you laughed at your own words, internally in pain.Â
âI didnât say that.â He finally pulled himself back up, sitting as he pulled you towards him. âY/N, if we really thought last night was wrong, we would have stopped after the first time.â He shook his head at the irony. âLook, itâs on me, alright? I put you in this situation.âÂ
âAnd I allowed it,â you argued, âI allowed it, Satoru. It makes me feel dirty. I feel like, like Iâm wrecking someone elseâs home. Itâs not me.âÂ
Satoru held his breath, a look of hesitation dawning on his face as he realized that this wasnât just a dream of his. It was pure and raw reality that he had made a mistake that he could never undo. While thinking it through, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, leaning against the headboard as he assessed the situation. Then, he looked at you, his expression softening as he spoke, âNo, not your fault. Itâs just complicated,â he insisted, âYou didnât do anything wrong. Iâm the one who owes âKemi an apology.âÂ
Each time you heard her nickname from him was a punch to your gut. And each silent cuss that left his lips was an arrow to your heart. So you put it on yourself to accept his reaction. âItâs okay. You can be honest and say last night was a mistake.â
âNo, no, no. I didnât say that,â he replied quickly, reaching out to take your hand.Â
But you already stood up from the bed, clutching the duvet around your body like a shield against the encroaching chill. Your throat felt tight, and tears threatened to spill, but you fought to keep them at bay. Satoruâs gaze followed you with an expression of helplessness, as if he was struggling to bridge the gap between his rights and wrongs.
As you turned to face him, a knot of frustration and heartache tangled within you. âSo, what now?â you asked, trying your hardest to keep your composure. âHow are we gonna fix this, Satoru? How?â
Before he could answer, the door to the cabin suddenly burst open, and Akemi stood in the doorway with her eyes wide with shock and fury. The confrontation followed as soon as she caught you in a compromising position with Satoru, and the words she uttered next were ones you least expected from her.Â
âYouâre a hypocrite! Youâve become the person you despised the most when you were married.âÂ
âYouâre no better than Sera! And thatâs why youâre miserable, and youâll forever be miserable! If this is your way of getting back at me..âÂ
âThen jokes on you, because Satoru will never be faithful to you. Heâll keep cheating on you, just like he did now with me! You two belong in that cycle!â
You felt like an outsider in your own heartbreak, the confrontation intensifying as you tried to process the bitter truth in silence. All you could do was stand there and cry. Even Satoruâs attempts to placate Akemi were futile as her anger only seemed to grow. The more her eyes danced back and forth between you and her lover, the more she wanted to destroy everything in her path.
Satoruâs face was indiscernible from where you stood. âAkemi, please, just listenââ
Akemi, however, was already turning on her heel and storming back into her cabin while eliciting loud, muffled sobs. Your chest tightened with sorrow and shame. Complete, utter shame of doing this to another woman. How could you even correct a situation like this? How could you pick yourself back up after you just trampled on another womanâs feelings because of your actions?
Satoru, like you, hesitated on his next move, his eyes meeting yours with a look of anguish. âI need to talk to her, Y/N. Iâll be back.â
Without waiting for your response, he already bolted after her, leaving you alone in a quiet, pathetic state. The door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating through the cabin like thunder in a heavy storm.
You didnât know what to do, didnât know how to face everyone, didnât have the guts to even talk to Shoko and Suguru who now both have to deal with such scandals. You were too ashamed of yourself, as if your femininity had been stripped off its rights after you slept with the man you swore you would never get back with.Â
âI didnât mean it,â you could only silently whisper your laments, pacing around your cabin while swallowing the weakness that tried to escape. âI hate this.âÂ
The minutes dragged on, and each second stretched into an eternity as you waited for Satoruâs return. For now, you sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, wondering what excuse he was telling Akemi, and what actions he would do to try and calm her down. Did he kiss her, perhaps? Did he cup her face and tell her that you were nothing but a mistake? What was taking him so long? Or were they doing things to try and erase the same deeds you two did last night?Â
The cacophony of voices and commotion from outside the cabin grew louder, and your curiosity led you to open your door, meeting the eyes of one of the hotel staff who sent you a look full of judgment.Â
âWhereâsâŚâ you hesitated if she was the right person to ask, âWhereâs Satoru? Would you know?âÂ
âOh, maâam. He already left the hotel half an hour ago⌠with Miss Akemi.âÂ
Her answer hit you hard like a truck on a highway. And your heart dropped as you realized who became The Fool in these deck of cards. Satoru had not only run off after Akemi, but had also left you behind without a word.Â
The room felt colder now, the once-intimate sanctuary you shared with your ex-husband now a prison of your own grief. Even the familiar warmth of the bed seemed like a distant memory as you approached it, your body trembling as you thought of how you were treated like a dirty rag, thrown away after being used over and over again.Â
With a soft, choked sob, you collapsed onto the bed, the duvet still a tangled mess from earlier. And your emotions, so tightly restrained, finally broke free. You pulled the blanket around you as if it could shield you from the crushing pain. The betrayal, the sense of being discarded for anotherâit all converged into a torrent of anguish. All you could do was cling to the duvet as if it were the only anchor in a stormy sea.Â
ââ
Returning home didnât make the situation any better.Â
Although you tried to tell yourself that you shouldnât be waiting on Satoru to contact you, you still found yourself checking your phone multiple times a day. Each second that passed without hearing from him was another stab to your heart. But it shouldnât feel like that. It shouldnât, not when Satoru clearly made his choice of choosing yet another woman over you.Â
Of course, you knew what you did was wrong. In everyoneâs eyes, sleeping with someone elseâs man was unforgivable. There was no excuse, no way to justify your actions. Even if some people might side with you, saying you owed no one loyalty, it didnât change how you felt about the whole situation. And that was because you remembered all too well the pain of being cheated on, and letting another woman endure the same heartbreak and betrayal was a weight on your conscience that you couldnât ignore.
Sighing, you turned to the left side of the bed and saw Sachiro sleeping peacefully, clutching his favorite starfish plushie in his tiny arms. The thought of losing your son was unbearable, especially when he was your only source of calm amid the chaos that surrounded you. Caring for him was your solace, and his innocent presence served as a band-aid for your wounded heart. The most heart-wrenching part of this was knowing you couldnât even repay him for the stability he brought you. Sachiro deserved a complete family to enrich his life, yet youâas his own biological motherâwere unable to give him that.Â
âSleep tight, Sachi.â You lightly stroked his white hair before planting a soft kiss on his cheek. âDonât let the bed bugs bite.â
The past few weeks had been a blur of emotions, work, and parentingâwith each day blending into the next like a tornado of dull colors. You still hadnât heard from Satoru, but the days of waiting and checking your phone for any notification from him did gradually stop. The only thing that didnât stop replaying in your head like a broken record was the cabin incident, the very night that drew all these overthinking in your mind and in your heart.Â
Returning to work did provide some distraction, but it didnât take away the sting. It also didnât help that your staff noticed the change in your demeanor, and how distracted you often were during your meetings and warehouse visits. Even Nobara was worried about how absentminded you had become, but you brushed off all their concerns with a forced smile. After all, staying at home would do you worse than being at work.Â
Now, you were back in your office, and the soft knock on the door cut you off from your trance. It was Yuki peeking through the small opening on your door, her usual professional demeanor softened by a concerned expression. âHey, Y/N. Do you have a minute?â she asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind her with a quiet click.Â
You nodded, trying to muster a smile. âSure, Yuki. Whatâs up?â
âI wanted to check in on you,â she began, taking a seat opposite your desk, âIf you need to extend your vacation, please, by all means, go ahead. Itâs off-season, anyway. Iâll take care of everything here while youâre focusing on yourself.â
That wasnât really a good idea. And you shouldnât be slacking off work when this very fashion house you establish used to be your passion, not your job. Yet here you were, losing all the inspiration to even run a business. âI donât know if I have the energy for anything else right now.â
âWell, if youâre too worried about leaving work,â Yuki continued, her tone shifting to a more business-like note, âthe progress weâve made with Hearte is looking really promising. The new collection is getting great feedback, and our upcoming showcase is shaping up well. Weâre on track for a strong quarter.â
âAll because of you, Yuki.â A spark of gratitude appeared on your face. âThanks for the update. Itâs good to know things are moving in the right direction.â
She then stood up and gave you a reassuring smile. âIâm here if you need anything, Y/N. But seriously, take some time for yourself. You deserve it.â
On that same evening, you came home to your fatherâs mansion, and the first thing that greeted you when you entered the foyer was Gen sitting by the living room. And needless to say, her expression was a mix of concern and frustration as if she had been waiting for you to return. You werenât really in the mood to have some back-and-forths with her, but you also didnât like how she dropped her phone on the table and crossed her arms, her eyes narrowing at you like she was a mother who could scold you like a child.
âIâm not even gonna say anything at this point, but did you really do it with him?â Genâs voice was low, but the disappointment was palpable. You could feel it from a few meters away.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â you bit back, your already-terrible mood swings shifting into an unhealthy direction.Â
Gen responded by pointing at her phone, gesturing for you to take a look at whateverâs on it. Reluctantly, you grabbed the device, and as you were scrolling through the screen, you stumbled upon a blind item circulating on social media. The words were vague but pointed, hinting at a scandalous encounter between two ex-spouses, both of whom were well-known figures. Great. Your heart stopped as you realized that the article was very much about you and Gojou.Â
The online comments were brutal, not like you werenât used to anonymous harassment anyway, but these ones were full of speculating and judging without knowing the full story. Everyone also seemed to be siding with âMs. Aâ instead of you as though the person behind the article was clearly trying to paint you as the villain. It was written for the purpose of destroying your reputation rather than any regular exposĂŠ, and whoever wrote it was definitely someone who disliked you.Â
Your shoulders slumped as you scrolled through hate comment after hate comment, a seemingly endless vitriol for someone they didnât even know, and avoided your sisterâs gaze knowing full well that seeing her expression would only make you feel worse.Â
âIs it true?â your sister asked like there was even an ounce of chance that it was simply a rumor. Unfortunately, it was anything but.Â
Sliding her phone back on the coffee table, you drew in a deep breath. âI canât undo it, Gen. It happened.âÂ
âSo, you did sleep with him? Am I hearing this right?â Gen sighed, rubbing her temples. âDo you have any idea what this could do to you? To Sachiro? People are ruthless, and now this blind item is all over the place and theyâre targeting you like a punching bag!â
Your mouth felt heavy, as if it was weighed down by an invisible burden, making it difficult to form words or speak. And before you could think of a response, Ian became your temporary savior as he walked in with a calm but serious mien. âIâve seen the post,â he said, holding up his phone. âItâs clearly defamatory, and we can take legal action. Iâll handle it.â
Even though Ian was a man of remarkable phlegm, you remained abashed, knowing that everyoneâs feasting at the juicy rumor that you slept with your ex-husband. Yet, the only thing you could do was to put on a front. To save face. To act like someone youâre not. âThank you, Ian. Iâd appreciate that.â
Anticipating another lecture from Gen about Satoru, you began retreating to your room with your footsteps bouncing desperately on the grand staircase. This conversation was done. You just werenât there to hear it anymore. However, as you climbed the stairs with a vacant mind, you could still hear your sister calling out to you.
âY/N!â she called, her voice now tinged with concern. âIâm not going to give you a hard time. We can sort this issue out. Maturely.â
âIâm good.â Sorry, Gen. It was the anxious-avoidant side of you speaking. You didnât want to discuss such a sensitive situation to anyone, even with your sister, because you werenât ready to face all the negativity it would put you through. You were already dealing with enough, and going through yet another emotional turmoil might actually put you to your deathbed at this point.Â
So, for now, isolating yourself from the world was the best choice.Â
And as soon as you entered your room, you saw Sachiroâs nanny tucking him into bed. All your worries and self-destructive thoughts vanished in an instant the moment you looked at your son. It was like the heavens gave you your personal angel, a cute little cherub who brought nothing but light and happiness to your life. He was your sunshine, your shooting star, your bundle of joy. Nothing in this world could erase the pessimist in you than little Sachiro.Â
âI got it from here.â You thanked the nanny and asked her to close the door before quickly joining your son in bed, wrapping him in a warm, comforting hugâmore for your own comfort than his.
âMama?â he asked, his voice unusually raspy, and his chest rising and falling heavily. âI mwiss you, mama!â
You pressed your lips onto his forehead. âI miss you too, my baby. How was daycare today?â
He seemed to struggle to speak too, but Sachiro still did his best to recount his day while he was trying to catch air in between his sentences. âTeacher ask Sachi to go home, mama. Sachi is tired.â
âBaby, are you okay? Are you sick?â Now, your motherly instincts kicked in immediately. You could tell something was wrong, so you reached for a thermometer from the bedside drawer to check his temperature, and listened to his breathing at the same time. âWhat happened to Sachi? Do you want Mommy to take you to the hospital?â
Sachiro shook his head and gave you a sleepy smile. âNo, mama. Sachi is just sweepy.â
When the thermometer beeped, you were relieved to see that his temperature was normal. âAre you having trouble breathing, my sweetheart?â You looked into his droopy eyes and gently placed your hand on his chest.Â
Once again, Sachiro shook his head. Maybe you were just overthinking. He often ran around the house or played in the bathtub before bed, which could explain why he seemed out of breath. It wasnât the first time it happened.Â
âOkay, Sachi. Go to sleep now. Close your eyes, baby.â
âNight night, mama.â
For now, you turned off the night lamp, and headed to the bathroom in silent and careful steps. It was quiet enough indeed, but in your head was an awful noise you couldnât escape. And stepping into the shower only increased the warfare in your mind, as it immediately brought images of Satoru and Akemi back in the cabin, the harsh comments from the article, and the lack of contact from your ex-husband which all overwhelmed you at once. By now, he would have already seen that article. Nanami or Miwa might have already alerted him about it. But the fact that he said nothing, the fact that he let the public scrutinize you, destroy you with such vile, hurtful words behind their screens brought you a kind of pain that you wouldnât wish upon anyone else.Â
Because if it was Akemi in that position, he would have defended her in a heartbeat.Â
So in your silence, under the cascading water of the shower, you let the tears flowâits warmth distinguishable compared to the cold droplets falling on you. If only you had successfully drowned yourself that night at the lake. If only Satoru didnât pull you back in, none of this would have happened.Â
That moment was deeply poignant to you, and you saw him in a new light you thought you would never see again because of the darkness of your past. Yet, with the events that followed your special moment, memories eventually turned into spite. Your sweet exchange twisted into something bitter. Looking back at that time when he kissed you at the lake now made you feel nauseous and hollow inside, with bile forming on your throat and threatening to be retched.Â
The most gut-wrenching part about this was the fact that there wasnât anyone left who could rescue you from this abyss of heartache anymore.Â
ââ
There had been a sense of detachment in your emotions in the following days that passed, almost as though they belonged to a stranger inhabiting your body. Toji, the only person who comforted you at times like these, was no longer by your side to fulfill the warmth you once desperately sought, and now you were alone to face this cruel, mind-numbing battle all by yourself. It was you against the world. You against the entire populace inhabiting this living hell. And with that many enemies against one, how could you win?Â
It was quite funny, actually, that your humor took a surprising turn when you thought of how Sera must have felt when it was revealed to the public that she was Satoruâs mistress. The irony didnât even stop at your thoughts alone, it manifested itself outside Hearteâs headquarters, wearing a pink puffer jacket and a white prairie skirt.Â
âSera?â you blurted out her name in wonder, nonplussed as you got out of the car to approach her.
âHey, Y/N.â She offered a casual smile while carrying an air of sophistication around her. That wasnât the only thing that changed about Sera. Her hair was also shorter than the last you saw her, her face now sporting a more natural makeup, and her outfit a more modest yet classy choice. It was no longer the Sera who tried hard to fit in amongst the upper echelon of society, but a Sera who seemed to be satisfied at her current standing in life.Â
What an awkward encounter. Was her presence your hypocritical reminder for sleeping with Satoru behind Akemiâs back?Â
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked.Â
And she answered with, âI read about what happened. You know, the thing on the internet.â She took a moment to pause, probably trying to choose the right words to say to her previous adversary. Because in a way, you two werenât exactly friends. And you were no longer rivals either. Satoru was the only common denominator here, and Sera proved her exact sentiments about him by saying, âI just wanted to let you know that I understand your side. Itâs a tough situation.â
You looked at her, searching for any hint of insincerity, but found none. âYou were once on my spot,â you pointed out and gauged whether or not she would take the bait. For all you know, she could be putting on an act. âIâm assuming youâre here to rub it in my face how much of a hypocrite I am.âÂ
âNo, thatâs not it.â Sera was vehemently denying any malice on her intentions, and was instead trying to show you the sympathy of a woman who was once caught in the same predicament. âLook, I know itâs weird that Iâm here out of all people. But the truth is, I just had to let you know that someoneâs on your side. Iâve met the girl, okay? That⌠whoever she is. I donât remember her name, and I hate having to pit two women against each other, but Iâm telling you itâs about time you cut Satoru off your life. Completely. She doesnât look like someone whoâd easily let go. Youâre just gonna suffer, Y/N.âÂ
Perhaps three years was too far back in your life and that tables could turn in a direction that you didnât expect, as you could recall fragments of memories from when your only dilemma was dealing with Satoru and Sera in your marriage. She used to be besotted with your ex-husband back then. But now, it wasnât until you heard the way she spoke about him that you realized she must be harboring a grudge deeper than you had imagined. After all, he did ruin her life in ways you couldnât imagine. And her advice, though unsolicited, made sense. Because you could understand where she was going with it. You could see the true intentions clearly conveyed by her face.
The only problem here was that you didnât have it in your heart to agree with her. You were too much of an empathic person to be taking sides, even if the supposed villain in this painting was the ex-husband who, time and time again, hurt you. Your heart stubbornly cared for Satoru deep down, and your wifely instinct of defending him no matter how poorly he acted had always been there. No one could hate Satoru more than you did, that was true, but you also werenât very accepting of hearing others describe him as this ruthless, cheating bastard.Â
That was the reason why talking to Gen had eventually exhausted you. Because no one knew the real Satoru Gojou behind his facade of an irresponsible and reckless husband.Â
âNow that youâre hereâŚâ The idea to redirect the conversation to another topic struck you, unwilling to engage in a conversation that pushed Satoru in a bad light. âWould you be interested in being a model for our upcoming campaign? Weâre launching a new collection, and I think youâd be perfect.â
Seraâs eyes were an amalgam of confusion and surprise. âUh, I mean⌠Iâd love to, but why so sudden?âÂ
âYou have the face for it.â You shrugged, but still sent a smile her way. âAre you working right now? If not, this could open doors for you to be discovered by modeling agencies. Iâm closely tied with them since I work in the fashion industry, so I can do a few calls if you want.âÂ
âHold on, Iâmââ Sera touched her head, laughing as if she were dreaming this conversation. âY/N, youâre doing too much here. I mean, Iâd obviously love that, but wouldnât it be awkward? People know me as your ex-husbandâs mistress, and if they recognize me in Hearte ads, Iâm sure as hell those fuck ass netizens wonât stop talking about it.â
She had a point, a very good point, but then again, your suggestion was only brought up because you had to change the topic. âWell, itâs just an offer to consider in the future.âÂ
âAnd I appreciate you always extending a hand to help me even if I did you wrong in the past,â she said, feelings of shame lacing her voice. âI havenât forgotten about what you did for my brother, thatâs why Iâm here. Iâm not your enemy anymore, Y/N.â
Just then, the roaring engine of a classic red Ferrari pulled up to the curb, interrupting the unexpected conversation you were having with your ex-husbandâs former mistress. The window rolled down to reveal a pink-haired man whom you recognized as Ryomen Sukuna, an up and coming tech mogul, that Toji had mentioned about many times before. His eyes were only on one woman alone, and it wasnât you. âReady to go, babe?â
Honestly, good for Sera. No wonder her aura had become different. They seemed to be in a stable committed relationship, something that you could only ever dream about. If karma was truly real, this was the perfect example for it.Â
In the back seat, you spotted a younger boy who looked exactly like Sukuna and, surprisingly, Megumi, the son of your ex-fiancĂŠ. Really? How many more people were you going to âcoincidentallyâ run into today?Â
âHello, miss!â the other boy called out cheerfully, while Megumi offered a polite nod. You replied with a wave, feeling a small sense of normalcy in their innocent presence.
âI gotta get going, Y/N,â excused Sera, gesturing a civil goodbye.Â
But as she moved to get into the car, your phone buzzed in your pocket. A single glance at the screen made your heart drop. It was a call from the hospital.
âHello?â you answered almost immediately, pressing the phone on your ears with a tight push.
âMs. Y/N, this is the hospital. Your son, Sachiro Gojou, is in the ICU. We need you to come as soon as possible.â
Your stomach contracted into a tight ball as you stood rigid with terror. Then and there, the world seemed to tilt on its axis. âWh-What do you mean heâs in the hospital?!â you managed to shout, swept by horripilation from the sudden news. âWhat happened to my son?! Whatâsâ!âÂ
Seraâs concerned gaze met yours as you desperately yelled into the phone, hyperventilating. Your trembling hand was threatening to drop the phone. âY/N, is everything okay?â
âMy son⌠I⌠heâŚ,â you stammered, your voice shaky with fear and urgency. Your muscles locked in a momentary paralysis, eyes wide with astonishment, and surprise rendering you immobile. The thought of Sachiro in a critical state was about to make you faint, with the last bits of images you saw that afternoon were of Sera and her boyfriend rushing to catch you from completely falling to the ground.Â
ââ
Megumi didnât know how to deliver the bad news.Â
He came home after Yuujiâs brother rushed you to the hospital, shocked by everything that happened in a span of a single day. His mind was aching from all the thinking he was doing; praying that little Sachiro will be fine, hoping that you would stay strong throughout, and lastly, wondering how he would break it to his dad that something terrible had happened.Â
His father wasnât exactly the greatest man to tread this Earth, especially not after the drunken words he had âmistakenlyâ uttered to you that night in Miami that resulted in your separation. Yes, Megumi knew every word and detail. His father told him everything just as a sober man would. Did you really think that the Toji Zenâin you knew would sputter that utter nonsense to you? That you had an empty soul. That he couldnât be with someone like you. That you would forever be a placeholder to Megumiâs mother. Bullshit. None of those were true. His father told him that the reason he had to say those words, as piercing and trenchant as they may be, was because it was the only way he could free you from being caged in a relationship your heart didnât genuinely want.Â
It was Tojiâs last resort to hurt you with his words, hoping that you would wake up from your false fantasy and finally have a reason to leave a relationship with a man that wasnât Satoru Gojou. If Megumiâs father wasnât at the top of the list of Forbesâ richest men in Japan, he would have felt a great deal of inferiority complex over a younger man like Gojou. Not because of his looks and his riches, but because he had you. No matter what Satoru did, no matter how many times he hurt you, he was and would always be that man you wanted to be with.Â
Sighing, Megumiâs first task upon coming home was to check on his fatherâs room, only to find the dark room void of its owner. When he made his way down the grand staircase, he met an ill-spirited Naoya who was ranting to Mai about Sera flaunting Sukuna in front of his face. Megumiâs sigh was then followed by another. The drama in this house was relentless. He felt like he was exhaling endlessly, like a malfunctioning appliance.Â
âWhereâs dad?â asked Megumi, directing her question to a more rational Maki.Â
The tall, green-haired girl gave him a knowing shrug. âYou already know,â she said, âDrowning himself in alcohol down at the bar.âÂ
As always.Â
Megumi jogged around the estate to eventually find his father at one of the wet bars near his home office. He was there, seated on a stool, his head drooping low with a glass of premium scotch in hand. How many glasses heâd had, Megumi could only hope the numbers weren't that high. But upon approaching his father, his presence was barely acknowledged as he sat on the stool next to him, suggesting that the grown man might be more inebriated than his son had expected.
âDad,â spoke the Zenâin heir, âDad, you good?âÂ
Toji lifted his head up, three sheets to the wind, as a smile crept up on his scarred lips. âSon.âÂ
âLet me take that.â Megumi grabbed a hold of the glass of scotch, sliding the strong liquor away from his father. âThereâs something I ought to tell you.âÂ
Toji stayed nonchalant, sitting upright and tapping his fingers on the counter. âWhatâs it about this time?â he asked. âIâve told you, I canât stop the elders from arranging your marriage unless youâre honest with me about someone you like. I know you have someone in mind, but youâre not saying who. Are you just shy?â
Megumi gave his father a look of exasperation. Heâs rambling, he thought, frustrated with his fatherâs inebriated chattering. âItâs not about that. Itâs about Y/N-san.â
The mention of your name was the only thing that made Toji's demeanor shift to one of genuine concern. âWhat happened?â
âSachiâs in a critical condition,â the younger Zenâin went straight to the point, âY/N-san went manic over it and fainted before we could get her to the hospital.â
Toji was quick to grab his coat and car keys, as if all the alcohol in his system had immediately evaporated. But before he could leave, Megumi caught his fatherâs arm and pulled him back.Â
âWhat?â said Toji, concern and urgency blanketing his gaze. âI need to be with her.âÂ
âDo you really need to?â Megumi countered. âDad, I know itâs not right for me to stop you in this crucial situation, but are you gonna do this every time sheâs in trouble? Do you plan to do this forever? Do you plan to keep drowning yourself in alcohol thinking about her? We care for her like family, thatâs true, but you and her arenât a thing anymore. Your responsibilities in taking care of her should stop, too. You, yourself, said itâd be best if she stopped being reliant on you. Now, do yourself a favor and stop trying to be this pathetic superhero.âÂ
The concern etching on Tojisâs face softened into a sense of realization, a sense of candidness that only someone as straightforward as his own son could evoke. Megumi had to, not because he didnât care for you anymore, but because he had to ensure he wouldnât lose his father over a relationship that had already ended. Toji was the only real family Megumi had left.Â
âStay, dad,â he pleaded, âPlease.â
Toji took a deep breath and released it in the same second. âOkay,â he softly said, ruffling his sonâs hair. âI wonât leave.âÂ
ââ
Why is it that you keep attracting things, places, and people that you disliked the most?Â
You hated hospitals, and you had spoken about it enough to make it clear how much you dreaded going to a place where your worst memories had taken root. Yet, the sterile environment seemed to beckon you, dragging you back with a new nightmare each time. It was beyond your worst fears that you would find yourself racing through the halls mere minutes after regaining consciousness, desperately trying to reach where your son was.
Please be okay. Please be okay.Â
Frantically, you scanned the corridors, searching for the ICU and hoping that what you had just heard was nothing more than a cruel illusion, that this was all just a nightmare. You werenât a deeply devout person, but you did send prayers to every saint you could think of, hoping that Sachiroâs current state wasnât in the median between life and death.Â
Because if you lost your son, then there was no point in living anymore. This life wouldnât be worth enduring.Â
âY/N!â
You werenât the first one to arrive outside the pediatric ICU, with Gen and your father already being there moments before you came. You were struggling to breathe by the time you reached them, feeling your heart race with a thunderous beat. âGen⌠Dad, what h-happened to him?â You couldnât stop the weakness in your voice. âTell me heâs fine, please. Please. My baby. If anything h-happens to him, Iâm g-gonna die, Gen! I c-canât h-have that!â
Gen quickly enveloped you in a tight embrace, trying to offer any form of comfort she could. âIâm so sorry, Y/N. Dad and I are just as shocked.â She held you closer, her voice trembling as she, too, was just as anxious as you. âSachi refused to eat and complained about having a hard time breathing. He was so pale and his lips were blue. We knew we had to rush him to the hospital immediately.â
âOh my God.â Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stifle the uncontrollable cries that were escaping. The news of Sachiro developing cyanosis shattered your heart, and the crushing reality that you werenât there to take care of him tore you apart. âMy baby, no. No, no. H-Heââ
âY/N!âÂ
Out of breath and also visibly shaken was the father of your son, Satoru, who came running to your side the moment his eyes landed on you. Behind him was his mother, clutching a rosary in her hand as both of them were seemingly shell-shocked in the same magnitude as you and your family were. Everyone cared for Sachiroâs well-being, everyone prayed for his safety, and the thought of losing an angel like your son was a soul-crushing thought that sent you slipping into a chasm of suffering. Â
âWh-What happened to Sachi?â Satoru asked in desperation, his question raised to everyone in the vicinityâyou, your family, the nurses. But no one could give him a decent answer. âPlease, tell me my sonâs alright. Tell me.âÂ
You watched him walk in circles, raking his fingers through his hair as if he was seeking anything to hold onto. And you, feeling that magnet that pulled you closer to him, broke away from Genâs embrace to look at your sonâs father. âSatoruâŚâÂ
âY/N,â his voice cracked as he met your gaze, âOur son.â He stopped, ready to wrap you in a hugâa moment of solace you both desperately needed in this critical time. But just as he pulled you close in a fragile attempt to find comfort together, the door to the ICU swung open, abruptly ending the brief respite.
All of you immediately rushed over to the doctor, the sterile white walls and the distant hum of hospital machinery did nothing to calm the turmoil inside you.Â
âDoctor, howâs he?âÂ
âHowâs my grandson, doc?â
âDoc, my son, is he okay?âÂ
âIs he stable, doc?âÂ
âDoctor, howâs my son, please?â you asked, your body growing tense to the point of shaking.
The doctor took a deep breath, his expression serious amidst the fusillade of questions thrown at him. âWeâre currently running a series of tests on the patient. We suspect Sachiro may have congenital heart disease, specifically a ventricular septal defect with associated pulmonary hypertension.â
No, it canât be. Itâs not possible! The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You struggled to process the information, your vision blurring with tears and your heart drumming a rapid staccato inside. You didnât need to look at everyone to know that they all, for a moment, looked at you. âHeart disease? But⌠how? I didnât thinkââ
âCan you explain more, doc? Please.â Gojou was desperate, his bright blue eyes now dull and severely clouded with a brewing storm. It was as if he was keeping himself from crying.
The doctor continued gently, âVSD is a condition where thereâs a hole in the heartâs ventricular septum. It can lead to pulmonary hypertension, which means the blood pressure in the lungs is elevated. Itâs a serious condition, but weâre doing everything we can to assess the extent and provide the best treatment.â
âN-No, oh God. My baby.â You felt your knees go weak, and you sank down against the wall, with more tears cascading down your cheeks like waterfall. The weight of the diagnosis was crushing, but the hardest part was realizing that this was something you had unknowingly passed on to Sachiro. The heart disease was inherited from you and had now manifested in your beloved son.
Itâs my fault. Itâs my fault!Â
The doctor placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. âWeâll keep you updated as soon as we have more information. Please, try to stay calm, Y/N. Itâs not best for your heart to panic right now. Sachiro is in good hands.â
You were unable to speak through the sobs that wracked your body. The hospital corridor felt endless, and you couldnât shake the feeling of guilt and helplessness that consumed you. You could feel all eyes on you, judging, harboring hatred, carrying deep-rooted resentment. You were torn apart by the knowledge that the very thing you had feared most was now a reality for your son.
âItâs⌠Itâs my fault,â you sobbed, covering your face with your quivering hands, âThis is all my fault. I gave it to Sachiro, I⌠Iâm a terrible mother!âÂ
Gen knelt beside you, her hands gripping your shoulders with a firm yet gentle touch. âY/N, stop it. This is not your fault. You didnât choose this for Sachiro.â
Your father, who had been pacing anxiously nearby, joined in. âYour sisterâs right. Youâre blaming yourself for something beyond your control. Weâre all here for you. Weâll figure this out.â
But amidst your familial exchange, Satoru stood nearby, frozen and listless. His silence only added to the overwhelming distress. Was he also blaming you for what Sachiro was going through right now? Was he also angry at you for putting his son into this critical situation?Â
Suddenly, a familiar voice cut through the commotionâvoice that was equally harsh and spiteful. It was Satoruâs mother, boring her fiery eyes into your skull as she opened her mouth. âThatâs right! Youâre self-aware, arenât you?â she spat and stood rigidly, arms crossed defensively over her chest. âThis is all your fault. Youâre such an irresponsible mother! You canât even take care of my grandson properly, and now youâve passed your disease onto him!â
You looked up in shock, seeing Satoruâs mother standing there with a disdainful expression. The sting of her words felt like a knife twisting in your heart, because they were true. They were painful, yes, but they were true. And all you could do was lower yourself until you were sitting on your haunches, trying to make yourself as small as possible.Â
âExcuse me?!â Gen stood up, her eyes blazing with anger that came from the deepest pits of hell. âYouâre unbelievable, Auntie. How dare you speak to my sister like that! You have no right to blame her for this. I hope to God it was you in the ICU right now instead of Sachiro!â
âYouâŚ!âÂ
Satoruâs mother raised a hand to slap Gen, but your father stepped forward, his face a mix of disbelief and indignation. âThis is despicable. How can you stand here and say such things to someone whoâs already suffering? Werenât you friends with my wife once?â
Satoru, who had been standing still, suddenly moved with a menacing calm. His face was hard as stone, and his eyes narrowed in anger. What was scarier was him approaching his mother with a threatening stance. âAre you really this pathetic, mother?â Satoru questioned with a cold, cutting tone. âDo you get off on making Y/N suffer? Do you think youâve gotten away with slapping her behind my back? You donât get to blame Y/N for anything. Any fucking thing!â
His motherâs eyes widened in shock, but she tried to defend herself at the ruthless stance her son was carrying. All of you were stunned at the realization of how Satoru resembled his cruel father at that moment. âB-But Satoru, my sonââ
âShut up!â Satoru cut her off, his voice harsh and unforgiving, before he threw his cold knuckles against the hard surface of the concrete wall. âI donât want to see your face ever again! Donât consider yourself my mother any longer, you witch. Youâve lost that privilege.â
This took a wild turn, and hearing the brutality of Satoruâs words was like a thunderclap in the tense atmosphere. His motherâs face turned pale, her mouth opening and closing in shock as she struggled to respond.
âGet out of here,â Satoru commanded, his voice uncaring towards her. âLeave, and donât ever come back. Youâre nobody to me now.â
With that, Satoruâs mother turned and fled, stumbling down the corridor as if she was the victim in this situation. However, the tension in the air began to dissipate as soon as she left, leaving you, Satoru, Gen, and your father in a heavy silence. Only your sniffles could be heard.Â
Even Gen, who was often hostile around your ex-husband, had remained quiet and composed after she watched him take such drastic measures to keep his mother away.
Everyone was silent. Pure, unbothered silence until Satoruâs phone began to buzz loudly, cutting through the stillness of the hallway. For a moment, he closed his eyes, then he fished his phone out of his pocket where you caught a glimpse of the caller ID.Â
Akemi.Â
ââ
The ICU only allowed short visits and one person at a time, so there was no need for everyone to stay the night. You were the parent, you were the one responsible for your sonâs situation, so you insisted it was best for your dad and Gen to go home and get some rest. You didnât mind watching over your son for the whole night, because coming home without him was the last thing you would do right now.
My precious angel.
Sachiro lay in the hospital bed, his small chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. The doctors had managed to stabilize him for now, and the sight of his heart monitor showing a stable rhythm was a small comfort amidst the chaos.
Still, you sat by his bedside, mindful of your timed visit as your hands gently held his tiny ones, feeling the warmth of his small fingers. You glanced down at the medical report on your other hand, trying to make sense of the complex terms and figures.
The words blurred together as your tears fell silently onto the paper. âIâm sorry, baby.â He didnât deserve this. Heâs just a baby. âMommyâs very sorry.â
You tried to stay strong, putting on a brave face for your son, but inside, you were falling apart. It was impossible not to blame yourself over this, wishing you could do more than just be present around him. This was the comeuppance of your own actions after you focused on your own emotions for the past few weeks to the point of neglecting your sonâs wellbeing. If you had been more present in his life, if you had been more observant, you would have easily noticed the signs. Now, you allowed Satoru to find a flaw in your duty as a mother, and he could cite this very event as evidence to get full custody of him. That is, if he were to ever consider taking your son away from you.Â
But in the first place, he should be the last person to do that, because where exactly was he now?Â
Your thoughts kept drifting back to the earlier scene, where he excused to answer Akemiâs call, and later that night told you he had to leave and âcheck somethingâ urgently. He promised heâd be back before midnight, but where was he?Â
Resentment began to fester within you.
You had been very perceptive of Akemiâs feelings, apologetic in the way you supposedly betrayed her, but the fact that she was still scrambling for Satoruâs attention in the midst of your sonâs hospitalization was something you could never forgive her for.Â
And as for Sachiroâs father, how could he prioritize another woman when his own son was in such a critical state? The confusion of his actions was overwhelming. It felt like a cruel deja vu that, at a time when you needed him the most, he was choosing to be elsewhere. You could accept it if it was a choice between you and another woman, but between his son and her? His behavior was unacceptable, disgusting even, and it only served to deepen your grudge against him.
You clenched your fists, trying to push away the surge of anger that threatened to consume you after seeing that the disparity in his actions felt like both a betrayal and a slap to the face. Your poor son. You stared at Sachiroâs peaceful face and stroked his cheek. How could Satoru be so indifferent to his own flesh and blood?
The room was silent except for the soft beeping of the heart monitor and your quiet sobs. The situation was almost too much to bear, and your resentment towards Gojou grew heavier by the second. Each minute felt like a lifetime, and the emptiness left by his absence was a constant reminder that yet again he chose another woman over his own family.
Itâs okay. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. I wonât leave you, Sachi. For Sachiroâs sake, you needed to find the strength to carry on, to be the mother he needed in this moment of crisis and never again failing to be there for your only child.Â
At exactly 10:30 pm, the nurse came in and told you visiting hours were over. You complied.Â
At 11:00 pm, Ian paid you a quick visit and talked to the nurses, perhaps giving them reminders to look after you.Â
At 12:00 am, you were alone again. Seated at one of the benches outside the ICUâsleepless, starving, and nauseous.Â
At 2:00 am, you remained in your seat despite the sterile smell of antiseptic mingling with your own discomfort. The flickering fluorescent lights above did little to help you get some proper sleep. The cold air-conditioning alao made you shiver slightly, hugging your own body to try and give yourself some warmth.Â
At 4:00 am, you awakened from the noise of the movements beside you. Realizing you had fallen asleep, you looked up and saw Satoru taking a seat to your left. His coat was draped over his arm, and he offered it to you.
âAre you cold?â he asked, his voice softer than usual, but you could see the bags under his eyes suggesting the sleepless nights heâd had for the past few days. âYou can use my coat.â
You took the coat, but as you caught a whiff of it, a familiar scent of Akemiâs perfume lingered. Rose Prick by Tom Ford. It was a scent youâd come to recognize after your years of being her best friend, and it made your stomach turn slightly. Without any hesitation, you handed the coat back to him. âNo, thank you. Iâm fine,â you replied, avoiding his gaze. Looking into his eyes was the last thing you would do.Â
And you knew Satoru was sighing, but didnât press the issue. âThe nurse mentioned you havenât eaten today.â He pulled out a small bag of assorted fruits, placing it gently on the seat between you. You eyed the offerings, feeling a pang of hunger but also a strange aversion. âI bought some fruit. Is there anything you like?â
You took a deep breath and broke the silence with a hint of sarcasm. âYouâre really good at this, huh?â
âAt what?â was his immediate question, puzzled.
âHitting two birds with one stone.â
âY/NâŚâ
âStop trying to take care of me,â you interrupted, your tone sharper than intended. â I donât need it.â
âButââ
You swallowed the lump in your throat. âYou canât even be here for Sachi. You canât even choose your son. Heâs in a life and death situation and weâre still only receiving scraps of your attention.â It was the deep-seated grudge spilling out of you. âYouâre so good at abandoning people, huh? Even though thatâs what you hate the most. Youâre so good at disappearing without even a text or call to check on me and our son. After that night at the cabin, you justâŚâ you paused, realizing that you were opening too much of your heart to a man who didnât deserve it. âForget it. Just go home to Akemi. Live a happy life, build a family with her. Forget us. I donât care. Iâll take care of Sachiro myself. Iâve done it for three years!â
âY/N, Iâm not trying to hurt you. I justâŚâ Satoru fumbled for words, his somber blue eyes bearing the history of your shared heartbreak. It was as though the painful memories of your past were flooding his thoughts, seeking justification as to why he couldnât pick you again this time. âI had to be there for her. SheâsâŚâ
You turned away before he could see your expression, because your heart was splintering at the thought of Satoru Gojou shattering it once more. As he always did. There seemed to be no end to this relentless heartbreak, as if any hope of a happy ever after with the man you loved would only return a pain that was a hundred times worse. Perhaps, this was destinyâs way of telling you that you and him werenât meant to be. That any wishful thinking of being with Satoru again was only something that you could expect in another universe.
So, in your defense, you had to pull on a facade. A mask that you had to wear in the face of being the target of never-ending despair. âSatoru, I donât want to talk about it,â you said firmly, concealing the raw ache in your voice with a smile. âAnd I donât expect you to choose me every time. Itâs okay. Itâs happened before.â
âCanât you see Iâm hurting, too?â he asked, his voice breaking. Though you couldnât see his face, the tremor in his voice revealed his struggle to hold back tears.Â
You couldnât understand why he would be hurting with his decision. When faced with two crossroads, he always seemed to pick the path that led away from you. So instead of trying to comprehend his pain, you decided it was time to honor your own. For your sake. For Sachiroâs.Â
âLetâs just forget about that night,â you declared, wiping your eyes as you got up from your seat and prepared to walk away. âFrom this day forward, letâs pretend it never happened.â
ââ
Akemiâs apartment was dark when Satoru stepped inside.Â
And to be honest, the darkness was a relief. At least, she wouldnât be able to see the lassitude etched on his face, not just from juggling his time between his son and her, but from the constant ache of hurting the person he loved.
Miscommunication is a coupleâs greatest enemy, and the persistent disconnect between you two, coupled with the reluctance to clear things up, had worn Satoru down. He wanted to end thisâthe feeling of helplessness and the torment of seeing the woman he cared for caught in a labyrinth of despair.
The hospital visits to Sachiro alone had been a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities, and this brief visit to Akemi felt like an unwelcome detour, but one he couldnât avoid. Satoru knew his heart wanted to stay in the hospital with you, to wait for any updates on his son, to hold your hand and care for you, yet here he was, dragging his feet across the carpeted floors to approach Akemi.Â
âHey.â She was sitting on the couch, looking frail but alert as if she had been desperately waiting on his arrival. She had recently started treatment for her stage 3 endometrial cancer, and Satoru could see the toll it was taking on her, physically and emotionally. He would be cruel to leave her hanging like this, to neglect her at her worst when she had been there by his side at his. Satoru had an unspoken accountability on her, because it wouldnât be fair for him to just abandon her after she poured all her heart and soul into helping Gojou get back onto his own feet. Â
âHey, âKemi,â he said, his tone soft but distant. âDid you take your meds today?â
Akemi looked up at him, her eyes tired and heavy. âI did. I took them just like the doctor said. Howâs Sachiro?â
Gojouâs expression tightened. âHeâs holding steady at the moment.â
A heavy silence settled between them before Akemi broke the tension. âIâm glad heâs stable,â she said, quietly. âAre you okay?â
He nodded once, his mind already drifting back to the hospital. âYeah. Listen, I need to head back soon. Nanami and Miwa will be alternating in looking after you from now on. Theyâll make sure youâre okay while Iâm dealing with Sachiro. I have to focus on my son.â
Akemiâs frail hand reached out to gently grip his arm, the other held her lower abdomen in pain. âSatoru, please donât go just yet. Canât you stay a little longer?â
Nowâs not the time to feel guilty. It was either her or Sachiro. Her or his son. Gojou decided to pull his arm away gently, his gaze distant. âSachiro needs me, Akemi. You know that.â
Akemiâs face fell, but she knew it would be ridiculous to argue over that. âNo, I understand. I get that. I want you to focus on Sachi, too. I just wishââ Before she could finish, her voice faltered, and she looked up at him with a hesitant gaze. âSatoru, do you regret that I took you back even if you cheated on me?â
The question caught him off guard, and Satoruâs blue eyes narrowed as he processed her words. He had been so focused on his responsibilities and the immediate crisis that he hadnât given much thought to their ârelationshipâ. All he knew was when he showed up at her doorstep back at the cabin, he was only going to try and end things with her. He was only going to clarify the longstanding feelings you and him poured out to each other that night, which was why he ended up sleeping with his ex-wife. But because Akemi suffered at the time, because her pelvic pain worsened to the point of an emergency, he had to hold back and just take care of her in the weeks that passed. He was caged in this situation like a prisoner who was found guilty for the crimes he had committed.
Just be honest, Satoru. Disregard everything else and just be honest. Satoru believed it was about time he stood his ground no matter the consequences. âYou canât take me back if weâre not together, âKemi,â he breathed out those words, reticent on hurting her with the truth. If she would lash out on him, throw a vase on his head, slam a book on his faceâhe wouldnât mind. He was ready to accept all the violence he deserved from being an asshole. âYou knew from the start that this, us, was only temporary. It was never supposed to be serious.âÂ
Her expressions turned doleful. âThen, in that case, did you at leastâŚâ Tears welled up in her eyes as she she paused, âDid you at least love me?â
âI just⌠I never saw it that way, Akemi.â Satoruâs honesty would destroy her, but he didnât want to keep on sending out false hopes. He had to be firm, and while he was grateful for everything she did for him, that doesnât mean he owed her his life and loyalty. In the first place, he warned her that he wasnât ready to be in a relationship. And God, he was far from ready to even settle down, yet Akemi constantly hinted at wanting to tie the knot with him. Again and again did she mention the thought of a wedding and a child and her own family.Â
Satoru wanted all those things too, but with another person in mind. He was only set on having those things with one woman.
Akemiâs face paled upon hearing his answer and the fact that he didnât even bother to explain himself. âI see. I guess I needed to hear that.â
Gojou looked at her with a mix of regret and sympathy. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry for hurting you like this, I really do.â
âItâs fine. Donât worry about it.â
It definitely wasnât fine, but Satoru had to take her word for it as he got out from the couch and gave her a gentle pat on the head. âI have to go. Nanami will be here soon. Please make sure to follow the treatment plan and take care of yourself.â
Akemi nodded, though her gaze remained fixed on the floor, unable to meet his eyes. âAlright. Iâll see him when he gets here.â
As Gojou turned to leave, he felt a pang of guilt twisting deep in his gut but pushed it aside. He was a father first before anything else. Sachiro would always be his first and foremost priority amongst everything else.Â
ââ
After leaving Akemiâs place, Satoru was driving his car into the evening air beyond the speed limit. And his mind was racing together with him as he thought of you, your son, and the myriad of emotions he was struggling to manage. He couldnât wait to be home, not literally at his own place, but anywhere with you and his son was his definition of home.Â
It would be diabolical for him to run into your arms and yell, âIâm free! We can be together again!â No, that would be cruel and disgusting. He respected Akemi just as he respected you. It was himself that he couldnât respect, because he was the one responsible for the mess that he created. And adding Sachiroâs critical condition on top of the already festering wounds in your relationship? It truly was the manifestation of karma in his actions.Â
His footsteps bounced through the hospital corridors the moment he arrived, each impatient step was ready to see your face and tell you he would never leave you and Sachiro now. But as he neared the pediatric ICU, his eyes darted around, the sight of his ex-wife was nowhere to be found. And instinctively, his heart pounded in his chest, and a drum of panic seemed to warn him of a storm that was about to come. Something was off, and it scared him.Â
âNurse,â he called out, his voice edged with urgency as he approached their station. âWhereâs my wife? The boyâs mother?â
The nurse looked up, recognizing the infamous CEOâs face. âUh, Mr. Gojou, she was heading to the rooftop, I think.â
âWhat?!â he unintentionally yelled at her face, âWhy didnât you guys keep an eye on her?âÂ
âSir, calm down. Sheâs probably going to get some fresh air.â
A cold chill ran down his spine. You were definitely not there for that.Â
Without another word, he sprinted towards the stairs, taking them two at a time instead of waiting at an elevator together with a group of people. He had to get to you as soon and as fast as he could without another second to waste. Although the climb felt endless, his mind racing with fear and dread was the push he needed to finally reach you.Â
And upon bursting through the door to the rooftop, he was met with the soft whisper of the evening wind and the heart-stopping sight of you standing perilously close to the edge.
âY/N!â he called out, his voice breaking with desperation. âDonât do this. Please, step back.â
You stood motionless, eyes fixed on the distant horizon, the city lights blurring into a kaleidoscope of sorrow. âThe world hates me, Satoru,â you whispered, the mellow tone of your voice carried away by the wind. âIâm a burden to everyone, even my own child. I-I just⌠I want to end it all.â
âNo!â Satoruâs heart shattered at your words while he moved closer, his hands outstretched and careful not to startle or provoke you. He was dying to have you in his arms and keep you safe. âY/N, please. Come back. What about Sachi? What about me? We need you. Sachiro needs you. I need you.â
What exactly made you go here? How did thoughts of ending yourself suddenly come into fruition? Was there something you discovered that brought you to this ultimatum? Gojou was desperate, utterly desperate, to hear what was running through your mind so that he could at least ease the burden that you were carrying all by yourself. He was once in the position where he wanted to commit too, and he knew the temptation that came with permanently escaping the cruelty of the world in just a single action.Â
âY/N, please. Please, Iâm begging. Come to me,â he rattled on in a suffocating whisper, the pleading in his voice was heavy, âPlease. I love you. Only you.â Â
It was when you turned around that Gojouâs world collapsed, and the words you said after had shattered his entire universe.Â
They were still.Â
You.Â
And the wind.Â
âIâm pregnant,â you finally confessed, voice cracking as you looked at the faint tears that fell from Satoruâs eyes. âI donât wanna have this baby.âÂ
and while we're on the subject of luigi mangione, FREE NATHAN MAHONEY (who stabbed his company's ceo during a meeting)! the reason you may not have heard this name is because the police clearly do not want to make the same mistake they did with Mangione by allowing him to become a symbol. let's show our support for Nathan Mahoney, who looks exactly how he should in his mugshotâ proud of himself
edit: the stabbed was the companyâs president* not ceo, and the company (Anderson Express) manufactures vehicles for the US military
edit 2: to add on, the US military at this time sends much of its supplies to apartheid Israel in the genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians from their country. this company was indirectly but most certainly harming and killing Palestinians.
oh no! i dropped this screenshot that explains how to bypass this with a free adblocker! you shouldnât reblog this or anything; itâd be terrible if people used this advice to watch ad-free youtube!!