okok so lots of shit has gone down in the past year and i'm surprised i'm still alive but heyyyyy
so everything with my partner started when their mum like has this weird thing with bedtimes like she gets us to sleep at 10. which is crazy but I digress, I mean basically she told me multiple times to go to sleep and I'm like sure after I pack my case because I have to go home tomorrow and so she texted me and it basically said go sleep and I reacted to that with an 🫡 .
so keep that in mind, and basically she just apparently seemed to take offence that and I didn't know this until Tuesday, which is crazy. And Eden, my partner well now ex partner told me this and it was really weird and I started panicking a lot because I have BPD and like abandonment is my worst fear so I'm scared that they're going to abandon me and I am texting them like hey I'm so scared
And they comfort me for the Tuesday night and then when I wake up on Wednesday they are being really weird with me and they're being dry and I'm like I'm so sorry. Did I do something wrong and they keep going no and I'm like okay OK whatever maybe I'm being irrational which would not be like weird for me
And basically out of nowhere, they send me a long ass paragraph then immediately block me afterwards. so I'm screaming, I'm crying. I don't know what the fuck I've done because I don't actually think it was that disrespectful so you get what I'm saying.
And just like a day later, I text their ex and say hey you were right I was wrong because Eden cheated on her with me. Which is crazy, but whatever. And she goes, oh I'm sorry they don't want me to talk to you and I'm like what the fuck. Because I asked Eden to block her multiple times and apparently they didn't.
And it's not until yesterday that I figure out that she is 16 currently and Eden is 18 and they cheated on me with her five months ago which it's not a large age gap but it's still really fucked up and weird
And I'm honestly just really disappointed in them because I thought they were so good. Like they were a really good person, but apparently they're not. And today I found out that the age thing where they date people younger than them keeps happening. They've been talking to 14-year-olds which is disgusting. I can't believe I dated someone like that. None of it makes any sense to me.
I'm typing all of this like through the voice to text so I don't know how accurate this shit is gonna be because I have a Scottish accent but still.
My life is really fucked up safe to say. Literally in the past year I have lost two friends to suicide, had my first ever pet die, have seen my favourite band in all of existence, been engaged, and then broken up with and blocked, oh shit and I've been in rehab for like drugs and alcohol. I really thought my life was gonna get better and I guess it might, but right now it's really hard to see that