Lost Cause

[zachhart]

caroline-evergreen·:

“Oh absolutely. That poor man doesn’t know what he got into. Axel Evergreen has always been too good, too pure for this world. Did I tell you he finally figured out what memes are and has decided he’s going to make german memes for an english audience. He says it’ll help in his classes.” Her father was a teacher, underpaid and under appreciated, but all of his students loved him. 

She groaned when he answered, bumping him. “You better not have been fucking high. If you stink up my car I’m going to riot and you have to pay the cleaning bill. Ass. Also, Rick and Morty is trash tier TV. Watch something worthwhile like the real housewives. At least that trash is funny.” Caroline frowned, smacking him with her jacket, before making her way onto the ice. She moved gracefully, letting her body take her where it wanted to go at first, even as she hollered over to him. “You are a lazy stoner but I’m a stupid alcoholic so who am I to judge. Bet me. If I can land this triple lutz you have to buy me a bag of sour cream and onion chips.”

Laughing out loud at the thought of her father discovering meme culture, Zach shook his head. “Of course he is. He might be right, I’d read his memes.” he shrugged. Maybe it was only ‘cause he dad was the only teacher who didn’t write Zach off as a delinquent from day one. 

“It’s cute you think I can afford a cleaning bill.” he deflected, obviously he was high. Performing the most offended expression when she dissed rick and morty, he shook his head. “I’d argue that you have the terrible taste, look at the people you hang out with.” he joked, obviously referencing himself. “Besides if I wanted to watch catty rich girls fighting each other I’d stick around the rink while the Olympians train.” 

Once she was finally on the ice, he let his smile fall about. She was so fucking young, what the hell did she need to be a self diagnosed alcoholic. He made a mental note to find out where she was getting her liquor so he could interfere. “sure, okay it’s a bet.” he played along, even though he knew she was gonna land it, she always did.

[zachhart]

Waiting until the building was empty, Zach headed to the emergency exit and cracked the door so he could indulge in a quick toke before cleaning the ice. While most would lecture the dangers of operating heavy machinery while under the influence, the zamboni was painfully slow, especially at the end of the evening when he was ready to just be done with the rink and be back on his couch. Besides, it was barely a buzz, just enough to take the edge off and eliminate any anxiety that crept up on a rare occasion he was sober. As per usual after dark regime, he plugged his phone into the buildings sound system - a loud hip hop playlist now blaring through the speakers while he climbed aboard old betsy, starting the engine and creeping onto the rink in it’s usual,  leisurely pace.

Immediately he noticed a figure helping themselves to the space, obviously not realizing it was closing time... or not bothered to care. There were plenty of those around here, daddy and mommy funded this rink so I can skate when I please, arguments happened more often than not. Meanwhile Zach was just trying to do his shitty job, so he could make enough money to keep his lights on this month. “Dude, I gotta clean the ice.” he said, obviously not loud enough over the rap playing in the background and the sound of the loud machinery underneath him. So, reluctantly, he cut the engine. “Hey, only one of us gets to use this rink at a time and when Kid Cudi’s on it’s my turn.” 

[zachhart]

caroline-evergreen·:

Caroline stood outside with Zach, watching his keys rattled as he opened the door, her ice skates flung over her shoulder. He was really the only person who had seen her skate in a long time. Not even her father knew about her late night adventures out into the rink and her online friend had only really heard of her adventures. There was no face to her anonymous identity. 

“Bold of you to assume I’m going to take the fall for this. Oh please, officer, I’m so sorry, the big scary man told me if I didn’t skate he’d eat my dog,” she practiced a sniffle before offering him a half smile and sliding in through the door. “You know my dad wouldn’t do that. He likes everyone, including you. Which means he has terrible taste but is a good guy.”

She made her way over to the bench, plopping down so she could lace up her skates. “So what’s the plan? Same as usual? Act like a chicken shit and get high while avoiding putting your legs on the ice, so you don’t look like a fresh born bambi?”

“Oh, I see how it is.” he replied with a shrug, a chuckle forming at her ridiculous excuse. Somehow her father had been one of the few adults who didn’t think he was a total waste of space which, was honestly a bit of relief. Despite her being younger and carrying her own baggage, he enjoyed having someone to look out for in whatever way he could. “Definitely terrible taste, look who he raised.” he shot back with a goofy smile, obviously just poking fun.

Sitting beside her while she laced up, he rolled his eyes at her question. It wasn’t unlike her to try to get him on the ice, but it was easy enough for her to insist, she was practically Olympic standard without a trainer. “Bold of you to assume I’m not already high.” he replied, mimicking her previous tone. “Actually, I’m going to sit here and watch Rick and Morty on my phone until you’re done being a closeted figure skater, then i’m going to clean off the ice so I don’t have to listen to the people who pay for scheduled rink time yell at me for being a 'lazy stoner' and not doing my job. I’m also gonna raid the vending machine. And for that dig, I'm not sharing my cheetos with you.”

[zachhart]

Zach Hart (Douglas Booth) is a 25 year old Zamboni Driver who works at Kingscrest Ice Rink. He’s from Kingscrest, CO and lives in East Vale. They’re Outgoing and Humorous but can also be unmotivated and abrasive. Sometimes, they’re known as The Dirtbag.

Name: Zach Nathan Hart 

Pronouns:He/Him

Age: 25 years old

Birthday: June 12th (Gemini)

Hometown: Kingscrest, CO

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Occupation: Zamboni Driver

FC: Douglas Booth

A LITTLE ABOUT 

           Son of a hardworking nurse and a local hardware store owner, Zach’s background wasn’t the tragic one one would assume given his outward appearance. His parents, though busy and occasionally distant, were loving and gave Zach all the tools he needed for success. It was Zach himself that never applied himself enough to use them. Ever since he was young, he knew he was different from the children whom he grew up with. Everyone around him seemed so driven and talented, where as Zach was generally just trying to get through the day. Which was fine when it could be chalked up to teen angst, but once he reached adulthood, it became far more concerning to friends and family alike.

After high school, he worked and array of odd jobs - gas station attendant, fast food worker, la bodega attendant, most of which he got fired from for being late or smoking on the job. In hindsight it was blessing in disguise, ‘cause working at the rink was his favorite gig so far. Driving the Zamboni was easy, there was no manager over his shoulder 24/7, and taking the rare occasional girl up on the Zamboni was a good first date ice breaker. 

An outcast in a city of over achievers and Olympic dreamers, Zach doesn't have any plans to change his ways anytime soon, perfectly content to stay in a cloudy haze of smoke and make ends meet, much to his loved ones dismay. 

RANDOM FACTS

Zach is covered in tattoos, most of them random - some of them professional done, others amateur work and a few were even stick and poked by friends. 

He general eats like a teen still, surviving off of gas station snacks or mcdonalds when the munchies hit. 

He lives with a roommate with similar interests as him, the two are pals but there is a small chance the guy steals money from Zach’s wallet when he’s not around.

He’s never left CO

Zach’s always been prone to hitting high highs and low lows, but the constant high he maintains helps keep it in check.

[avrilovediary]

[zachhart]

Meet at the rink, simple enough directions, one would think - yet here Zach was, 15 minutes later than expected thanks to a combination of his general laziness and the fact that if he was going to be up and going to work as a favor, he was gonna smoke a bowl or two in his car before doing so. Finally climbing out of the barely running, rust eaten 98′ Honda that wasn’t actually insured for road use, Zach took his time making his way to the entrance, master key in hand. 

“You know I can’t wait until one of these days where we get caught, and you - the doe eyed fresh faced eighteen year old who serves the towns finest their much needed coffee all day, tries to explain that you dragged me into this.” obviously just joking, a familiar gloss in his eyes as he slipped the key in and unlocked the door. Truth was, worst case he’d be fired and it’s not like he was overtly passionate about cleaning ice. It was a sick gig to drive the machine. Sometimes girls would climb on and pretend to be impressed. Most if the time, the athletes ignored him. But it wasn’t like Zach to worry about things like long term employment anyway. Caroline was one of the few poeple who didn’t treat him like garbage so he’d help her out when he could. "If I loud german man comes through these doors yelling I'm out. All bets are off"   @caroline-evergreen​

[bestofcomedy]

Pete Davidson | Comedy Central Stand-Up