Zach Hall

[lizzydobbs]

House of H ❛ I’d go with you, but… I don’t want to. ❜

Zach looked up from his bowl of cereal, somewhat apologetically. “Sorry.” 

Leo turned to Ben, as if he actually thought he could hope for a more positive  response from him. It took Ben a moment to even realize that Leo was waiting for his response. 

“Oh … yeah … that’s a hard no from me also.” 

Leo sighed. “So are you guys really going to make me go this thing by myself?” 

A beat. No answer. 

‘This thing’ was Kayla’s birthday party. Leo had been given an invite because Ben and Leo may had insinuated to Kayla that Leo was interested in her, romantically. (They still hadn’t mentioned this little detail to Leo.) 

Zach looked over at Ben, “We really are terrible friends, aren’t we?”

“Oh, the worst.” 

Leo exhaled, “I can’t not go … she’s our supervisor … and she’d definitely take it personally if I don’t show up. There’s enough drama with her without adding this to it.” 

Zach placed a hand on Leo’s shoulder, “Yeah, just go and suck it up. It’s only a few hours of your life.” 

Ben laughed, “Ha, you say that like it won’t feel like an eternity.” 

Leo just stared at Ben, “Thanks for that.” 

“Oh, no problem.” 

As soon as Leo walked out of the room, Zach turned to Ben, “God, I am feeling kind of bad. I mean it is our fault that he got invited to this thing at all … ” 

Ben put his hands up in protest. “Whoa … are you actually considering going now?” 

Zach nodded, “I’m thinking about it, yeah.” 

Ben groaned, “Ugh … Zach … damn you and your conscious!” 

Zach shrugged, “C’mon, it might actually be kind of fun in a weird way … like … what would a party that’s hosted by Kayla even be like?” 

Ben laughed, “God awful.” He shook his head, defeated. “Okay, but I’m not going sober.” 

“Oh, there’s no way in hell that any of us are.” 

[lizzydobbs]

zach hall + ben huston: “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Captain America is probably my least favorite of the Avengers.” Ben said, casually, taking a bite of cereal.

The room went dead; the silence only broken after Zach, shooting daggers at his best friend, said, “Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

Ben hadn’t realized when he’d said it, just how much the comment was going to offend Zach. But now that he, he couldn’t help but smile a little. “Uh, yeah. I sure did.”

“You are dead to me.”

Ben laughed, “And Captain America is dead to me. Because he is definitely the worst Avenger.”

Zach stood up from the table, dramatically, pointing his cereal spoon at Ben. “Dishonor on you! And your cow!”

“Goddamn it, Zach,” Ben said, trying to be serious, but he couldn’t help but smile. “Not the cow!” He pleaded. “What the fuck am I supposed to do with a dishonored cow?”

That’s when Leo walked in, surveyed the scene, and left without saying a word.

[ultrafacts]

The Shark became the most famous resident of Headington when it appeared in the roof of 2 New High Street on 9 August 1986. Bill Heine is the brains behind the shark and still owns the house.

(Fact Source) for more facts, follow Ultrafacts

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Charlie

[zachwayn]

charliewayn

oKAY BUT ZACH AS A MATCHMAKER IS MY FAVORITE THING!!!!! tbh all charlie would take away from that is “well zach clearly doesn’t wanna date me” ://// but that being said, I feel like charlie isn’t interested in dating anyone right now b/c she’s so hung up on zach and yeah ;DDDD

do you think he’s still trying to set up charlie and leo btw? or do you think their last “date” was such a mess that he’s stopped?

CHARLIE NOOOOOOOOOOO but actually that brings up another matter we should discuss!  I don’t think Zach is ~hugely observant~ a lot tbqh hahahaha buT he’s also not stupid hahaha so how obvious do you think it that Charlie has a thing for him?  I’m trying to figure out if he knows, bc obv I think that’d influence his behavior.  I mean, he might be slowly destroying Leo psychologically, but that’s only bc he’s his best friend *thumbs up, confetti*  Zach’s not evil hahaha he doesn’t actually want to hurT anyone

Anyway, the details will become clearer once I have a sense of what Zach knows about her ~emotional situation~ but my gut rn is saying that...yes on the dl he’s trying to help???? but at the same time he does things that sabotage even his own efforts, like presenting Charlie w a person “gift” from “Leo” of goat scream covers of popular songs from c. 2010, etc. so...yes...but also...no hahahah

[secretoctopus-deactivated201912]

[standupcomedyblog]

John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE

[danfuckedoffbutreturns]

GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY

[andlifeisgrand-deactivated20160]

This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.

[thesporkidentity]

[Audio transcription: I wanted to tell you one story. Uh. This is the story of the best meal I’ve ever had in my life, okay. Happened when I was eleven years old in Chicago, IL where I grew up. I went to a place called the Salt & Pepper Diner, uh, with my best friend John. We walk into the diner one day, and they had a jukebox there, okay? And the jukebox was three plays for a dollar. So we put in 7 dollars and selected 21 plays of of Tom Jones’s What’s New Pussycat. And then we ordered and waited. 

Here’s the thing about when, uh, What’s New Pussycat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, your immediate thought is not ‘hey someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again.’ It’s ‘hey, What’s New Pussycat is a lot longer than I first thought. The third time it plays you’re thinking maybe someone’s playing What’s New Pussycat again. The fourth time it plays you’re either thinking ‘whoa someone just played What’s New Pussycat FOUR TIMES or at least someone played it twice, and it’s a really long song.’ So the fifth time is the kicker, alright? 

Now, John and I we’re watching the entire diner at this point, alright? Most people have gotten wind as to what’s going on. And we’re staring at this one guy and he’s sitting in like a booth with his stupid kids jumping around, and he’s like staring at his coffee cup like this, and he’s been onto us since the beginning. And he’s sitting there, and his hand is shaking, and he had this look on his face like, aw, like he had just gotten his thirty day chip from anger management. And he’s staring like this, and the fourth song fades out. It’s dead quiet. Then, I don’t know if you know this, but the song begins very quietly…

BWAAAH BWAAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT and he goes GOD DAMN IT and pounds on the table, silverware flies everywhere, and it was fantastic. But a word about my best friend John and what a genius he was because when we first walked into the diner, okay? When we first got there and I’m punching in the What’s New Pussycats alright? I’ve punched in like 7 at this point then John says to me ‘hey hey hey before you punch in another What’s New Pussycat let’s drop in one It’s Not Unusual.’

Oh yes. That is when the afternoon went from good to great. After seven What’s New Pussycats. In a row - It played seven times. Suddenly - Dum da dum, IT’S NOT UNUSUAL and the sigh of relief that swept through the diner. People were so happy. It was like the liberation of France. You know for years scientists have wondered can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’s It’s Not Unusual and the answer is yes you can. Provided that it is preceded by seven What’s New Pussycats. It’s true. Dead honest.

And on the other hand. When we went back. Holy shit. It’s Not Unusual fade out. It’s dead quiet. BWAAAH BWAAAAH WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT people went insane. People went out of their minds. No one could handle it. No one could handle it. And they were surrounded by this seemingly indifferent staff that was just like ‘yup some crap as always.’ 

They unplugged the jukebox after eleven plays. And that was the best meal I ever had.]

[heartious]

#same

[zachwayn]

Trouble | Zach & Ben

[zachwayn]

benwayn

“Alright. Nice.” Ben said, plopping himself down in a chair next to Zach. “Well, we’re definitely need to get that on tape.” He said, casually pulling his camera out of its case. He carried that thing with him everywhere anymore. It was a habit he had started when he was younger (when he was optimistic and pure) and he just wanted be ready when inspiration struck him. Now, he just toted it around mostly to catch his friends (and enemies) fall victim to one of one of his and Zach’s pranks.

“He’s gonna fucking kill you, you know that right?” Ben asked, laughing. “Gonna get that on tape, too. Also as a head’s up, I mean I know we are bros and all, but you are on your own for this one. Ain’t no way I’m gonna go up against Jackson when he’s angry. So, yeah. It’s been nice knowing you and I’ll take care of your playstation when you die.”

Ben, excited, leaned back in his chair, “Yo, it looks soooo good. I’m pumped. If anyone needs me on the 17th … they are gonna have to wait a full 24 hours because I’m gonna need time to watch it and then rewatch it a couple dozen times. I’ve already put in to be off that night. There’s no way I’m not watching that live.” He paused, “Hey, does Lynessa ever remind you of Thea? Like they’re both crazy hot, but I think we can agree that Thea would also somehow have her husband murdered on their wedding day just to get his stuff.”

Ben leaned in close to Zach when he asked if he wanted to try to break Leo’s code to his room. “Yeah, I do. With great joy. Again, not gonna be watching the season premiere in our crappy living room.”

"Oh, no, I’m not taking the fall for this.  Thea is,” replied Zach, grinning.  “I thought maybe she could use some distraction after that thing with the lollipop, earlier.”  Thea had turned around in her seat, staring Ben straight in the eye, and eaten a lollipop in the most outrageously suggestive way possible, earlier, managing to completely gross out Zach.  This seemed to be her version of flirting and it was, frankly, more than Zach could take.  

“Given their...status, he seemed like the best target of opportunity.  She’s stubborn enough that, with the right push - supplied by yours truly - she not only won’t tell Jackson she didn’t do it, she’ll claim she did.”  He grinned his best magnificent bastard grin and held his arms wide.  “They’ll be so busy arguing for the rest of the day, that I won’t have to watch whatever freaky weirdness it is you two have got going, for another 24 hours.”

He nodded to himself, “The trap is set.  No way this is going to backfire on me, now,” he added with a great deal of confidence, despite the fact they both knew it was highly possible it could backfire.  These things had a way of doing just that.  “Anyway, I’m not afraid of Walt.  Even an angry one.”  This wasn’t 100% true, but it was at least 79% true (mostly because Zach often lacked common sense) which was close enough for Zach.

“Dude, same,” replied a zealous Zach.  “The entire day will be ODR prep before it comes on and, after it does, the rest will be rewatching and analysis.”  Amongst other things, Zach had a crazy crush on Guinevere Fontaine and rooted for the Drake boys like nobody’s business.  Team Beaumont frankly freaked him out, but he loved it that way.  “God, and where they left Alexandir, last season!  And Celia!  And damn, that whole thing with Rob and Dezód what on earth?!  Who is the dragon’s daughter?  Ok: prediction time.  What happens next?”

When Ben suggested the similarities between Lynessa and Thea, the excitement died on his face.  “Shit,” he said, instead, eyeing his friend.  “Thank God she clearly isn’t doing that to you, given that you have...nothing of value,” he added, glibly, though frankly the thing that had really disturbed him about her earlier display hadn’t been the display itself: it had been the fear that his best friend was about to get black widowed...and not the sexy scarjo variety as seen on the mcu...the nature kind, the kind that had made Walter a shell of a man (or, at least, that’s how Zach liked to put it now for dramatic effect the jury was still out on what made Walter Walter).  “She might still crazy murder you, though.  I don’t think that’s ever out of the cards.”

Zach nodded.  “It’s a plan,” he agreed.  “Ok, what’s the best way to distract Leo?  Should we tell him that his mom’s stuck on the side of the road we don’t know exactly where and needs him to pick her up?  Or have we used that one to many times in the past year?”

[lockscreens-tour]

stiles faces lockscreens ● like or reblog if you save

[zachwayn]

After watching an ODR episode with jamitrei childhood flashbacks

Zach: ... oh my god. Should we feel bad that we treat Leo how James and Dmitrei treated Rob?

Ben: Probably.

Ben: I don't but ... probably, yeah.

[allisonwayn-blog]

OOC: Allison & Zach

LMAO OK SO I BASICALLY GOT THIS BRILLIANT IDEA WHILE READING BEN’S BIO: “ben once tried to start a rumor that he was gay and secretly dating zach and just sat back and waited for it to get around the station and back to heather but somewhere along the line it turned into zach and leo are gay and dating instead” bUT LIKE IF ALLISON EVER HEARD OF THIS RUMOUR BEFORE/AFTER SHE AND LEO DATED YOU KNOW 100% SHE’S GONNA BE JEALOUS LOL 

it’s like that daddy pass the salt meme except it’ll go: when leo’s having dinner with allison and his bffs and he says “babe pass the salt” aND ALLISON AND ZACH BOTH REACH FOR IT JAFOEIWJW;AEJF

bye she probably compares herself with zach all the time and when leo gets a text she’s just like *eyes narrow* “was that zach” *gone girl vibes intensifies* lmaooo

[zachwayn]

JENN THIS IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING IVE EVER I LOVE <333333  

Allison comparing herself to Zach IM YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!  kladjfkljsd;lkfjklsdjf  Meanwhile, if Zach has any idea what’s going on, he def uses the opportunity to tell her weird things Leo loves like ‘oh yeah leo likes it when ppl shave their eyebrows that really gets him’ or something terrible and ridiculous that would probably freak leo out #facepalm

Obv, if he doesn’t know, then you knoW accidental things ensue like Zach comes into work wearing a green shirt and Leo compliments him and hijinks ensue and I honestly can’t figure out which scenario i like better!!!!!

Honestly, either way, Leo probs made the huGE mistake of mentioning to Zach one time that Allison hatEs it when he gets texts from Zach, so whenever Zach knows they’re gonna be together, Zach makes a point of texting Leo a weird string of emojis tbqh

Leo: i need better friends

[zachwayn]

Trouble | Zach & Ben

Zach leaned back in his seat, linking his fingers behind his head.  “Watch,” he said to Ben, in a self-satisfied tone.  “Next time Walter walks through that door,” he bobbed his head in the direction of the appropriate door.  “He’s gonna get doused with ice water.”  What Walter had done to deserve this, no one could say.  He simply happened to be a target of opportunity.

“Hey, so, did you see that first teaser trailer for the next season of ODR?” he demanded.  Zach was a highkey fanboy when it came to these sorts of shows.  Hours of online digging had gotten him the address of the writer - some guy called Brian Young at some apartment complex called Rosewood or something - and Zach had repeatedly sent him letters to which he had, tragically, never received a response.  The creator of VN was proving harder to track down, but Zach hadn’t given up, yet.  “It looks kickass.”

He said this, but the teaser had sported a few lines of Avelina Beaumont waxing eloquent about ‘the last dragon’ from last season over a few shots of trees and swords and one terribly dramatic shot of Dmitrei Massard smirking.  It was the sort of thing designed to play on the psyches of people like Zach, while effectively saying absolutely nothing about what to expect in the upcoming season.

“You want to help me figure out Leo’s combination?  I need it for when the new season airs.”  Zach had a habit of locking himself in Leo’s room to watch new episodes of ODR and of VN, but in truth, breaking into Leo’s room was a hobby of theirs, any time of year.

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Lore

Did we establish how long ago they dated btw?

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Aaron

Ok, so Zach finds Aaron irritating so honestly he probs does things like puts flour in his hairdryer and that sort of thing smdh

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Aaliyah

Ok, so Aaliyah is one of Zach’s “irritants” which means he resorts to pranking...Ofc, he also pranks his friends so it’s hard to tell w him but yknow ;DDD  I feel like he does things like make fake vomit and leave it at her station and delightful things like that smdh

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Sean

Tina!!!  These two loosing it over free food and Zach stealing his bike as a prank and hiding it in weird places around the station smdh <3

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Isaac

Tina!!!!!  I’m so excited to rp with you again, babe!!!!!!!  <3333333333  Ok, so these two are friends!!!!!  Also, Zach needs genuinely kind ppl like this in his life but no one is immune to Zach’s teasing ever ;DDDDD

[zachwayn]

OOC | Zach & Charlie

*tries to set charlie up w leo* *probably accidentally makes it sound like he thinks she should date someone completely different*