young & inexperienced @zacplaysguitar - Tumblr Blog

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

megparsec

So at that point, people will say “baby don’t hurt me”…no more?

iwantasecretgarden

I tried to scroll past I really did

quousque

beautiful set up, perfect follow-through. great teamwork everyone

ruinedchildhood

neonartwork

drunp-archive-deactivated201711

tyleroakley

protect her

a11ab0ut

gh0stbear

#CLEARLY REBLOGGING FOR RDJ’S FACE

If I don’t reblog this, it’s because I’m dead.

backwardsintohell

I just spit cracker everywhere

superfizz

i reblog this every time it comes up it brings me so much joy

when ppl try to start shit on your blog

zacplaysguitar

I need this on an apron

ithelpstodream

humor-n-shit-blog

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math

spudsexuall

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it.

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin” -After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human” -After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket” -Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call -One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. -After spooning me: “You have a nice butt” -”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying) -”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying) -Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue -One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue -One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence -And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”