Zavocado Masterpost

This is a side blog specifically created for my fanfiction works. Essentially, it's a replacement of the masterpost that I've had as a separate page on my main blog. There are currently 88 works on here, divided into three tabs above.

[zavocadoarchive]

Would you do Burt finding out Kurt's been seeing an old guy and finds out what happened in the elevator?

“Hey, Dad, how much do you know about Mick Jagger?”

Burt looks up from the tire he’s replacing and finds Kurt leaning againsthis tool bench. He’s in a dull outfit today, and Burt’s noticed most of his outfitshave been more subdued since his return from New York. Since Blaine and Kurtended things.

           “He was part of The Rolling Stones. Why?”

           “Oh, no reason. Walter was just talking about him and Iwasn’t sure.”

           Walter. That guy Kurt’s been seeing for the past fewweeks, since he came back and got face to face with Blaine and Dave. Burt’sseen them around town, and even with old wounds and the hell that Karofsky kidput Kurt through, it’s nice to see Dave’s grown up and accepted himself. ThatBlaine, who used to tense at the thought of Kurt seeing Dave, could move pastKurt and everything that had happened.

           But this Walter guy is another matter. He’s dating hisboy. He’s creating all sorts of questions from Kurt about decades past. StuffBurt can’t even answer sometimes.

           “Exactly how old is this Walter guy? Last week you askedme about proper disco clothing.”

           “That was for fashion,Dad. And Walter’s… he’s a nice guy.”

           “That didn’t answer my question.” Burt grunts as he liftsthe tire off the car and sets it on the ground. “You gonna tell me or am Igoing to have to ask someone else?”

           “He’s…” Kurt twists, suddenly like that nervousfifteen-year-old in his basement bedroom after his first football game. “He’syour age.”

           “My age?”

           “Maybe a little older. He’s a gentleman.”

           “Gentleman doesn’t make up for age gaps. What do you meanhe’s older than me? What’s wrong with guys your own age?”

           “Have you metguys my age?”

           Burt glowers at him. “Well, I damn well met Blaine andboys don’t get much better than that, at any age.”

           Kurt folds his arms over his chest like he’s been stung.Maybe he had, and maybe part of Burt’s glad. Kurt’s his son, and he’ll alwayscome first, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what happened with Kurt and Blaine.That Kurt couldn’t handle how much had happened at once and taken it out ofBlaine and their relationship.

           “Sorry.” Burt grunts and heaves the new tire up. “Youjust… you know how much I like Blaine. I expected you two were as sure as youacted, that’s all.”

           Kurt sits on the edge of the table. He’s standing morethan sitting and even now Burt can still remember so clearly when Kurt had tohop and climb to sit up there, and then when he started middle school andrefused to sit anywhere in the shop because he didn’t want to dirty his clothes.He’s a man now. A wonderful young adult, but it’s difficult to see thatsometimes.

           “We are. Were.”

           The slip is simple, but Burt’s heart thuds at it. Kurt’sstill in love with Blaine. How couldn’t he be? They’ve both been so deep intoeach other’s hearts, Burt’s amazed they ever found their way back out to this.

           “Kurt, it’s okay to still love him.”

           “I know that. I don’t think I’ll ever…”

           Kurt sighs and shakes his head. He bites his lip and Burtstays silent and waits.

           “Do you remember a few weeks ago, when we had thatcompetition and I didn’t come home that one night?”

           Burt nods, but his heart thuds a little harder. He seesthe path for this as clear as day, and the very thought hurts. For Blaine tocheat again, even with someone he truly loves…

           “Sue locked me and Blaine in this fake elevator atMcKinley and refused to let us go until we kissed.”

           “… You wanna run that by me again?”

           So Kurt does. He fiddles with his sleeve as he speaks,about some crazy doll on a tricycle, and Sue trying to pump drugs into the air,and then finally them agreeing to kiss. The entire thing is preposterous andyet Burt believes it as soon as Kurt says it’s Sue. That woman’s a creativenightmare, with an apparent obsession with his boys. His boys.

           “She’s insane.”

           Kurt agrees and twists his sleeve. “Yeah, but… Blainekissed me. After that, at Rachel’s party. A real one, like he used to when hecouldn’t help himself.”

           “Like he meant it.”

           “Blaine always meant it. Every bit of it—of us. He’s…”

           Kurt shakes himself and stands up. Burt doesn’t need forhim to finish that sentence. Tomorrow, he won’t need to see Blaine shoppingalone at the store either to know what direction their lives are headed. Alwaysforward and careening toward each other. Like always.

[zavocadoarchive]

Prompt: I want to know more about the break up that took place after gyow!! Why did they break up? How long were they apart? How did they get back together?

I debated for so long to simply answer this with a gif and yet... 

Teasing with a random clip of what very little I wrote so long ago works too, right?

.......................

           Blainepopped his cigarette between his lips. Behind him, a pair of flip-flops clappedacross the deck, and two lean legs stepped down on the first step.

           "Whendid you start that again?" Kurt settled down beside him in an old McKinleyhoodie and his swim trunks. He wrapped his arms around his shins and stared atthe cigarette hanging from Blaine's lips. "You haven't been—"

           "Lyingto you? No. That's—" Blaine shook his head and flicked his lighter on. Hecouldn't bring himself to lead them into another argument. They both watchedthe cigarette take the flame, the little puff of smoke and the amber glow thatlit the backyard. He stuffed the lighter away and then it was them, the brightmoon holding the night, and his cigarette. "A month ago. Maybe. Rightbefore Easter."

           "Iwish you wouldn't," Kurt said. He tugged his sleeves over his fists andheld his shins again. "They're so bad for you. They're a bad choice."

           "Sometimesyou need something to help. What's bad for one person might do wonders foranother," Blaine said quietly. He took a drag, slow and languid, let thesmoke fill his chest until his ribs ached. As he exhaled, he added,"Remember that one time you got so mad at me you took one and lit up inyour room?"

           Kurtsnorted and rested his cheek on his knees. Blaine glanced at him. His face wassofter than last time, than New York. They hadn't talked of that yet, part ofhim wanted to pretend it was a vivid hallucination they had shared. But the waytheir hands weren't linked together, fingers rubbing, tangling, and convincing themthey were one reminded him of what was settled between them. They hadn't sharedanything for a long time now.

           "I wasso stupid." Kurt ran a hand through his hair and smiled. "Lit thecurtain on fire, burned a hold in my jeans—"

           "Burnedmy forearm," Blaine added.

           They bothlaughed, and for an instance, the night felt different. Warmer than a dream oran embrace Blaine was slowly forgetting how to share.

           "I wassick all night," Kurt said. "That was at the old house. Before wemoved that summer. You held me until I fell asleep. I remember that. I miss itthere sometimes."

           "Yougrew up there," Blaine said. "Your mom lived there, too."

           "Yeah,yeah."

           Awistfulness crept into Kurt's voice for a moment. That was familiar to Blaine,even if nothing else was with Kurt anymore. It was strange how quickly he feltlike he'd lost everything he'd collected over the years. The flop of Kurt'scoif, the saltiness that always clung to his lips, even the tilt of his walk.Each piece was still there, but the longer he looked the less comforting theywere. Together they held memories, but anything else seemed like oblivion.

           "Is itweird that I never miss her for Mother's Day? At Christmas, I do, or mybirthday, but not this time of year."

           "Nah,"Blaine said as he took another drag and blew high into the air. "You'vegot stronger memories of those days. Mother's Day is just a day to celebrateher. Today's for Carole, too. It's happier because of her."

           Kurt'sflip-flop scraped the step, the toe dragging and then popping off the lip.

           "Foryou too?"

           Anotherslow drag, a dull ache as he held it in a breath too long.

           "Sometimes."

           They fellsilence again, and Blaine continued to smoke, let the heat swirl through hislungs and the air. He could say so many things then, he had so many that neededto be said if they were going to be here together. Yet he couldn't. Not untilKurt came up with something, not until more than what he'd already said a monthago filled the space around them.

           "Letme have a drag."

           Blaineglanced over at Kurt in surprise. "Really? You puked for two hours lasttime."

           "Thecity changes a boy," Kurt replied. He held his head a little higher and,if things had been different, Blaine would have kissed the flirtatiousness outof his lips; might have stubbed out his cigarette and pinned Kurt to the deck;let their bodies meet and mesh and give what he'd never captured with anyoneelse.

           "Youaren't going to like it." But Blaine passed it to Kurt anyway.

           Blaineexpected a great number of outcomes then. A repeat of last time, filled withthe old swears, a little annoyed rage, and a hacking, gagging cough if Kurtmanaged to take a drag. Maybe it being dropped, Kurt burning himself or thedeck down, anything funny and clumsy like from high school.

           Instead,Kurt took his cigarette gingerly between his fingers and pressed it to hislips. He still gagged and coughed a lot as he passed it back, but he had a gracenow that Blaine lingered on. A city did change a boy. Different cities hadchanged two unprepared boys in ways never meant to mix.

           As Kurthanded it back, Blaine looked at the frayed end. He watched a few ashes crumbleand dot the deck between them. Once, air could barely slip between them. Nowmiles stretched a few inches, in moments of touches between hands he couldn'tfathom gripping each other anymore. Going backwards wasn't something he everspent time doing.

           "Itused to be so hard to stay mad at each other."

           Kurt'svoice drifted across the yard, across the pool water rippling in a sudden gustof wind.  Blaine followed a pair ofleaves with his eyes as they skimmed along the water.

           "Nowit's easier to get mad and stay mad more than anything else," Kurtcontinued. "We used to fight and end up in fits of giggles, or have sexright where we were standing. Love used to be enough."

           "Love'snever enough." Blaine stubbed out his cigarette. "It's part ofthings, but it doesn't—" He shook his head as one of the leaves skipped upthe diving board, caught in a second wind as a crackle of heat lightning splitthe sky. "We loved each other enough to try. At least, I did." Blaineclimbed to his feet and opened the door. "We should head in before itstorms."

           "No,I'll—you go."

           He alwayswas, wasn't he? Going to New York, to check his phone or texts or to the trainthat carried him there and away. One of them had to. Some things, some momentswere better left unmended. Others healed on their own or became another,greater one.

           Blainestepped inside and shut the door.

[zavocadoarchive]

Hello, friends. I recently went through all the prompts I was sent ages ago and deleted all the repeats which was a surprising amount.

Which means I’m in the market for more since I don’t have enough to reach 166.

So the inbox is open, here, on this blog, zavocadoarchive. Fire away!

Side note: Any and all sent to my other blogs will be deleted. I’m trying to keep them separated from my other messages and this is the only real way to do so on tumblr.

SEND ME YO PROMPTS

[zavocadoarchive]

When their teenage kids decide to throw Kurt and Blaine a 25 year wedding anniversary party they have no idea what they're getting into. Handing the guest list over to Aunt Rachel leads to a crazy party where they get meet and experience first hand some of the people who they've only ever heard story's about like Sugar, Elliott, Jesse, Lauren, Unique, and April.

           "…so we were hoping that youand Uncle Jesse could handle the guest list? We figured—"

           "Hem hem."

           "Well, Audrey figured you'dstill have numbers for all of their old friends so we wouldn't have to sneakinto Dad's office and potentially get caught. Please?"

           "Pretty please with gold starson top?"

           Aunt Rachel beamed at them and tookthe offered folder of information. The boys had been making plans almost sincetheir dads' twenty-fourth anniversary, usually with help from Audrey overSkype. Their older sister was the brains behind it all, and they were the stillat home worker bees.

           "Don't you two worry, I know just the people to invite. Now, how manyguests were you thinking? Because I could name about three hundred off the topof my head who will want to come—oh, and we can't invite Brittany and Santana.They had the joint wedding with your dads, remember? No, of course you don't.But they also got divorced and remarried three times before they joined somesort of lesbian colony in the Pacific. Don't ask. But yes, of course I'll help plan their anniversaryparty—"

           "Well, we actually already haveit all planned. With a venue and e-everything."

           But Aunt Rachel was not to bedeterred. After twenty minutes of her speed talking herself around Manhattanand all of the potential places to hold it, the boys managed to slip out thedoor and hurry down to the busy street below.

           "We're doomed," Alex saidas they crossed the street toward sixth avenue. "Completely."

           But Liam only shook his head."Nah, Audrey made all the reservations and made sure they all knew AuntRachel couldn't cancel or change any of them before we even asked her. Besides,Uncle Jesse will—"

           "Be even worse. I don't knowhow they ended up with Barbra as a kid. She's the quietest person I've nevermet."

           "Mute with horror," Liamsaid with a nod. "Same as we are when we have Christmas over there. Now,come on. We're already pushing curfew and the M was shut down headinghome."

           They arrived home to a brief lecturethat was interrupted by Dad insisting they head upstairs to do their homework.The boys separated to their own rooms until they heard their dads go to bed,then Liam snuck over to Alex's room and joined him on his bed.

           "Audrey said she'd call beforemidnight," Alex informed him. "She had some sort of campus thing. Azombie walk or something."

           "Our big sister, the sci-finerd."

           "I bet she heard that,"Alex said, his blue eyes round. "She alwaysknows when—"

           His laptop rang and they bothjumped. Alex slid out of sight as Liam accepted the Skype call. Their bigsister appeared on the screen, just as horrifying as the day she'd left forschool. Costume make up was still smeared around her eyes and mouth, severalfake splatters of blood covered her shirt and neck. One particular wound on herthroat looked infected.

           "Ugh, that's disgusting. Didyou do that?"

           "Yeah, you should see thebullet wounds I did for Sam. Epic." She grabbed a hair brush from out ofsight and began to brush the twigs and fake blood from her auburn curls."Well? Did Aunt Rachel make the usual grab for power?"

           "Of course," Liam said."Nothing too drastic so far. I'm sure she'll start calling around though.I just hope she doesn't spill it all to them before the party."

           Audrey set her brush down andgrimaced. "I'll talk to Uncle Jesse. See if he can't be more sensible.Anyway, it's late there and I've got to get this gunk out of my hair beforePapa's super gell and hair product senses give him nightmares. Night."

           "Bye!"

           "Love you."

           Alex shut his laptop. "Do youthink they'll be surprised?"

           "Yeah. Assuming we can avertour long, long list of Aunt Rachel induced disasters."

           Alex snorted. "Fatchance."

 -------------

           Yet Alex was wrong. After a fewminor hiccups with Aunt Rachel—including one shouting match between her andLiam over the venue—everything fell into place. Alex managed to keep his headand his mouth shut about the secret so that on the first Saturday in November,their dads were entirely unaware that anything more than an anniversary dinnerwas happening. They managed to pile them into the car and drove north, awayfrom the city.

           "Can we take these blindfoldsoff yet?"

           "Seriously, Liam, you've onlyhad your license for a few months and—"

           "We aren't going to thecity!"

           "Alex! Don't spoil it!"

           "Sorry!"

           The boys bickered as they pulled offthe country road they were driving down toward the soft glowing light of—

           "Papa, don't take your—"

           "You've told us what to doenough today," Dad said as he removed his own. "Is that—oh my god,Blaine, look!"

           "It's a barn. Just like wherewe— oh, boys."

           Dad swooped in and hugged themtight, trying, as he still did, to rest his chin on their heads. He stillmanaged with Alex, but he ended up bumping Liam in the nose with hisneat-trimmed jaw.

           "Ouch, Dad!"

           "Thank you, boys. And—oh mygod, Kurt, is that Unique?"

           Their dads rushed to kiss each ofthem on the cheek before they dove into the crowd. Liam and Alex took seats inthe corner by the catering tables and stared around. At least two hundredpeople were crammed into the little barn. The back doors had been thrown openand a small dancing floor had been pieced together, complete with strung lightsand gentle music.

           "We did good," Liam saidas he looked from one unfamiliar face to the next.

           "Audrey did good."

           "Of course I did. I've got KurtHummel's genes, don't I?"

           Audrey hugged them both from behindand rested her chin on their shoulders. "Took you guys long enough. I'vealready made some rounds. I met their old Glee club group. A few friends fromcollege—oh and Elliott. Elliott's really cool."

           "Really? Well, is it true thathe and Papa used to—"

           "Well, well, well. If it isn'tthe pseudo-Klaine offspring who once resided in various, unnamed wombs."

           An enormous woman was standingbefore them. Her hair was a vibrantly dyed blond, lines marked her face, andshe was wearing what could only be called a formal track suit.

           "Sue Sylvester," Audreysaid behind them. She glowered at her. "Rachel said she wasn't—"

           "Wannabe Barbra has said manythings. I'm sure you heard your fair sure when you lived those treacherouseight months and three weeks inside that midget's body."

           "How dare you—"

           "Now, now, young Klaine child,who looks unmistakably as if a raptor has eaten Klaine's faces and thrown upthem onto your shoulders, you—"

           "Sue."

           Dad and Papa had arrived. Papa heldout his hand and Sue Sylvester gasped in what Alex could only call high-pitcheddelight.

           "Charmed as always," Papasaid as Sue, instead of shaking his offered hand, pulled him into a hug thatlifted him off his feet.

           She moved on to Dad next and thentried to dive at the kids. Dad and Papa formed a shield at once.

           "Oh, no. Leave themalone."

           "But—"

           "Come on. Let's go catch upwhile they mingle."

           Dad and Papa led Sue Sylvester awayand Audrey let out a low whistle.

           "So that's Sue Sylvester."

           "Didn't she lock them in a fakeelevator or something?"

           "Yeah. Dad's got a long list ofall she did to him in high school. And college. She's definitelycertifiable."

           Alex nodded. "Shall we go meetsomeone more sane then? Or should we hide so she doesn't, like, kidnapus?"

           "Both."

[zavocadoarchive]

Kurt tells Rachel about the elevator & kiss. Please & thank you. ♡

           "Ican't believe you left me with them!With that Marley and M-Michael and, um, Roger—"

           "Roderick,"Kurt corrected. "And Marley was from the year after we left. Blaine'ssenior year. You really need to learn all of their names."

           Rachelflipped her hair as they shut the piano cover and stacked up the last of theirsheet music. Kurt adjusted his neck scarf and suit jacket. Everything feltwrinkled and uncomfortable after a day and a half in that elevator. SomehowBlaine's handkerchief had ended up in his breast pocket. Blaine's cologne kept waftingup to him.

           "You still haven't said where you were,"Rachel said. She blocked the door when Kurt made a move for it. "Spill.You disappeared for almost thirty hours. Even your Dad couldn't tell me where you were. Were you—oh my god, did you goover to Walter's house and—"

           "No! Iwas—Sue trapped us in this fake elevator and—god, it was a nightmare. I haven'tseen Walter in over a week," Kurt added. "Ugh, I need a long showerand then a bath. I smell like that awful elevator—"

           "Whatdo you mean 'us'? Who did she—Blaine. He was missing too. The Warblers were frantic. More so than normal."

           "Dropit."

           He tried tomove past Rachel. Instead she back herself right up against the door, drapingherself against it. Realization was blooming in Rachel's eyes and right nowKurt couldn't handle it.

           "No, Ineed to shower and—"

           "Shetrapped you with Blaine. But why—I mean, Sue hates us. All of us. She can't even remember Blaine's name. She always callshim Young Bert Reynolds a-and Gelled Freddie Mercury."

           "Well,she's apparently got a thing for us as a couple. She had this scary ass Sawpuppet version of herself and it was riding this creepy tricycle and ugh."Kurt shivered and took a seat on one of the chairs they'd left out. "I'mnever getting in an elevator again. Ever. I'm so glad New York is almostentirely stairs."

           "Soyou and Blaine… were trapped—together—in an elevator?"

           Kurt noddedslowly. "Yes."

           "And,you two—meaning you and Blaine—were in there, all alone, for an entireday?"

           "Morethan a day."

           A wide grinspread over Rachel's face. Even after his discovery of Blaine and Karofsky's—Dave's, he had to keep reminding himselfnot to let his own jealous change his feelings toward Dave—Rachel had stillbeen rooting for them. For him. This had been the crux of his plan when he'dreturned to Lima. He wanted Blaine back in his life. They had the chance to beso much more and yet—

           "Stoplooking at me like that. I had to sleep on a hard floor in some tiny fakeelevator," Kurt said. "I'm not in the mood."

           She still refusedto move, so Kurt hurried for the other door and beat her out. Rachel followedalong behind him, still beaming.

           "Whathappened?"

           "Nothinghappened."

           "We'rebest friends, I know you're lying." Rachel hooked her arm through his asthey turned down the main hall. "So?"

           "We—shetrapped us in there. And—"

           "Didyou at least talk? Don't tell me you and Blaine sat in there for a day and ahalf and didn't say a word to each other. You two never shut up when you'retogether."

           "Yes,we do. And—it was… nice. Mostly. Once we stopped trying to escape. At least shefed us. It was just Breadstix and wine, but…"

           Kurt tookhis head. Rattled out the old dates from his junior and senior year, ofreaching across a table with those same breadsticks and appetizers and askingthe love of his life to prom. They couldn't have that back. Nothing couldreplace those moments, but nothing could rebuild them either.

           "It'snot the same," Kurt said as they pushed through the doors to the parkinglot. "We played this stupid game we used to play at night when we couldn'tsleep. Even before we were in New York together, we always played over Skype.You know, where you write something down and stick it on their forehead andthey have to guess what it is?"

           "Aw,that's—I always thought you two just laughed a lot during sex, but that'sadorable. I wish me and—Brody wasn't much and Finn was never—"

           "Yeah,well. We always talk ourselves to sleep. Sometimes we just aren't tired or into…butwe played that. It was almost perfect."

           Rachelsmiled at him once more, but Kurt didn't smile back. They'd played for whoknows how long in the elevator, migrating from fashion to musicals to sportsKurt still couldn't keep up with but that Blaine enjoyed laughing his waythrough Kurt's fumbling words, all the way to the heart of themselves—to thecouple they'd thrived and failed as.

           And Blainehad seemed better; much happier than how they'd left everything in New York.For a little while, it was as if nothing had changed. They could have easilypretended they'd trashed their old bed and were camping on the floor awaiting anew one. Except for—

           "Hebrought up Dave and… it's not the same. It's never going to be what it was,even if…"

           "If?Since when does Kurt Hummel live by ifs?"

           "He'swith Dave now, Rachel. And yeah, I don't think they'll last, but me andhim—"

           "You'rethe real deal. Trust me. And it shouldn't be the same. Every day is somethingdifferent. You're someone different.I-if," Rachel faltered. "If there's one thing I've learned from thetime I did have with Finn, it's that. Every day is new, and every day gone isin the past. You can't spend all your time trying to be the person you've beenbefore this moment. You've got to fight for tomorrow's Kurt, and tomorrow'sBlaine too. If you want him with you."

           Theystopped beside Rachel's car. It was a blustery sort of evening. The sun was lowin the sky, peaking through the trees here and there. Kurt twisted his suitjacket tighter around his chest as a cold breeze ruffled his hair. SometimesLima felt colder than New York ever had. Without Blaine, the world seemed lessand more frigid every day.

           "W-wekissed."

           "What?"

           "Inthe elevator. That stupid puppet made us before we could leave and it—I thoughtI could do it. That I could just move on and let him go, even if I don't wantto because he wanted to."

           Rachel'ssmile was tentative this time. "And?"

           Kurt wipedhis nose and shrugged. "And what?"

           "Wasthat part still the same? I mean, kissing him should still make you—"

           "Itwas better. He was so… it doesn't matter. We're over."

           "Youaren't."

           "We are."

           "Well,you aren't over him and Blaine isn't over you, even if he pretends he is,"Rachel said. "Ignoring it doesn't make it go away."

           "Itdoesn't make it easier either, but… I have to move on. I am moving on. And maybe we will… but for now, we aren't and I'vegot to accept that."

           Rachelunlocked her car and watched him for a moment. He could tell she didn't believehim. And perhaps he didn't belief himself just then either. That kiss had beenso much more than anything else he'd found, in New York or here with Walter.The way Blaine's hands captured his jaw, the strong shift of his lips workingKurt's apart. Blaine had wanted that almost as much as him. He'd tried to sayso much with that kiss, but Kurt had lost the translation.

           "Youwon't. You never accept anything the way it is if it's wrong," Rachelsaid. "But, for argument's sake, we're going back to your house and you'regoing to be sad and lick your wounds one more time."

           "I'mnot—"

           "Youhaven't given up. And I think Blaine's just forgotten that he did."

[zavocadoarchive]

Klaine prompt: what Eliot (and Dani) will have to say when Kurt and Blaine get back to New York and married.

           "It was really great to seethem win," Kurt said as Elliott helped him heave his last bag into theloft apartment. After Blaine had left, he'd asked both Elliott and Dani to movein to cover the cost and for company. They'd eagerly agreed. "And it gotme credit for the semester. Once I finish the write up and presentation."

           "And you got Blaine back?"

           Elliott grinned and elbowed himteasingly. Dani snickered from the couch. Kurt was unfazed.

           "Yes. That was wonderfultoo."

           "And this time, you're going todo what we all talked about, right? Take smaller steps, not dive into—is that a ring?"

           Dani vaulted up from the couch. "Pleasetell me it's April first, Elliott. He swore—"

           "I am right here," Kurtsaid. He glowered at each of them as Elliott yanked his arm forward to examinethe ring. "And we didn't jump back into being engaged, all right?We—"

           "It's a different ring,"Elliott said in horror. He pressed his hand over his eyes as Dani tugged Kurt'shand to her face. "Oh god, please tell me that's, like, a dopey highschool promise ring. Please don't say that you—"

           "We got married."

           "Oh god why?!"

           "No, you said youwouldn't—"

           "Blaine is my husband and Ilove him," Kurt cut in as the other two paced in disbelief. "Most friends would be happy, whether or notthey believed it was a terrible decision. So, let's try this again, Blaine andI—"

           "It must be in the water,"Elliott said suddenly. "There's something in the water in Lima, Ohio thatmakes all of you nuts."

           "Elliott, drop it—"

           "But they got married, Dani! After being broken up andplanning a wedding they just—poof! They're married! Am I the only person in this world with an ounce of logic left?" Elliott flapped hisarms helplessly. "It's in the water. I'm never visiting Ohio. Never."

           As Dani attempted to calm Elliottdown, the loft door rolled open and Blaine appeared with his little rollingsuitcase and the enormous grin he'd worn since they'd gotten back together.Kurt greeted him eagerly with a swift kiss and a bashful smile of his own.

           "Hi husband."

           "Hey yourself, Mr. Hummel-Anderson."

           "Right this way, Mr. Anderson-Hummel.I believe you remember Elliott and Dani?"

           Elliot groaned. "Oh god, andthey're adorable newlyweds too. This can't be happening. I'm moving out."

           "You are not," Dani said.

           "Do you know what kind of sex noises we're going to be listening to everynight?"

           "Oh, don't worry," Blainesaid. "We've invested in a nice selection of gags and ear plugs."

[zavocadoarchive]

Fic prompt idea: Pet reptile. One of the boys (or a future child of theirs) gets a pet snake or lizard (maybe a bearded dragon?) and is super stoked about having a tiny dinosaur or dragon for a pet. The other... not so much.

           "A bearded what?"

           "Dragon, Kurt. A beardeddragon."

           "Oh no. No no no. I said apuppy. Or a dog. Or even a cat. Not a dragon."

           Blaine grinned as Kurt huffedthrough the phone. He could already picture the stressed tilt of his head andhips, the way he always worked his fingers through his hair until all theproduct came loose. He'd done that since high school.

           "Kurt, stop messing with yourhair or you're going to go bald early."

           "I will not! Just because Dadis—"

           "Ollie wants to name herBella," Blaine cut in as he stopped at the light leaving the shopping center.

           In the back seat, Evan and Oliverwere leaned over and peering through the holes in the box between them. Theyshook their heads as the light turned green. Her new cage and supplies rattlein the space behind the boys.

           "What about Princess?"          

           "Seriously? That'sstupid."

           "It is not!"

           "It's worse than Bella—"

           "We are not bringing a reptile into this house," Kurt snarled throughthe phone. "Blaine, we have a baby."

           "Anna's seven months, Kurt.She's being upgraded to toddler status early. Besides, she'll be in the boys'room and we keep that gated from Anna."

           "And you think that's going tostop her now that she's crawling? She'll be climbing and diving into thatvicious dragon's mouth as soon as she—"

           "She's not vicious. Besides,Anna's three times her size."

           "We're naming herVictory!"

           "Don't let them name it!"

           "Driving now. See you soon.Victory can't wait to meet you."

           Blaine hung up before Kurt couldyell at him and glanced at the boys in the rearview mirror.

           Evan grinned back at him. "Youthink he bought it, Papa?"

           "Course he did. Nothing saysApril Fool's like your dad's atrocious memory for dates."

           A little woofing bark echoed fromthe box. Oliver tugged the top apart and peered in.

           "Hi Victory. Hi puppy."

           "I wish we'd gotten a pictureof that guy's face when we asked to have a box to put her in."

           "Sir, sir!" Oliverimitated, gesturing as Blaine had done twenty minutes ago. "Can I have abox for this Corgi? We'd like her to go please."

[zavocadoarchive]

how do you feel about writing an AU (kind of)? klaine and 7 minutes in heaven instead of spin the bottle during BIOTA? :)

Ten minutes into spin the bottle,Brittany landed on Santana, who spun, landed on Rachel, and promptly smashedthe bottle against the wall. Kurt was rather glad to put an end to it. WithBlaine sitting beside him, slightly drunk already, and more gorgeous than everwith his mused up hair and his curls springing freely from its gel, it was bestit end all of his hopes now. But his stomach kept leaping, despite the abruptend to spin the bottle. Maybe tonight Blaine would kiss him. Or flirt. Or something in return.

           Everyoneseparated off into little pairs and trios for a while after that. Blaine took aseat with Kurt after another duet with Rachel.

           "Youseem like you're having fun," Kurt said. He bit his lip, checked how hislegs were crossed and glanced down to examine the creases of his outfit. Stillperfect. Perfect enough to be noticed.

           "Santanamakes the best drinks," Blainesaid. His eyes were a little unfocused still, but some of the performanceinduced sweating seemed to be working the alcohol out of his system. "I'mjust glad spin the bottle ended so quickly. I can't even remember most of yourfriends names, and kissing them—"

           Kurtshuddered as Blaine laughed at something Sam and Finn had just said a few feetaway.

           Itwouldn't be ideal," Kurt agreed.

           "Yeah,yeah… those are really nice pants, bythe way."

           "SevenMinutes in Heaven!"

           Rachelran past screaming, one pink drink in her hand, the other with a second, emptybottle.

           Ashout of agreement went up around the room, and Kurt didn't have a chance toprotest. Rachel tried her best to write everyone's names down and eventuallypassed it off to Kurt when she demanded that somebody remember how to spell herown name for her. Against his better judgement, Kurt added all of their namesinto a hat Puck had mysteriously pulled from nowhere and waited.

           Whatif he got Blaine?

           Orworse—what if he got one of the other boys, who were all decidedly straight?

           "Finnand Quinn!"

           Sothe rounds began. Finn and Quinn had to be ripped apart by Puck after tenminutes in the closet. Puck and Rachel weren't any better. Mike and Brittanycame out laughing with no smeared lipstick, then Tina and Santana were forgottenabout when Rachel spilled the punch bowl all over the stage. Even Kurt forgotthem until Tina slammed the door of the closet open, singing at the top of herlungs:

           "I kiss a giiiiirl and I liiiiiiiikedi—HICCUP!"

           Laurenwent in with Sam, and Kurt realized too late that only two names were left. HadRachel somehow planned this?

           Ifshe hadn't been threatening to swing from the chandelier that she didn't have,he might have believed it.

           "Oh,Kurt and his Warbler are last!"

           Awhoop went up from the boys. Lauren hooted and shoved Kurt into the closet.Blaine was pushed in as well, and as he stumbled into Kurt's chest. The doorsnapped shut and everything went dark. Kurt tumbled back into the hanging coatsas Blaine failed to find his footing.

           "Ouch—oh,that's your—sorry, Kurt."

           Kurtreached out for him, tried to find his shoulders to right him, and insteadgrabbed his face.

           "Ididn't expect you'd be eager forthis," Blaine's muffle voice said.

           Kurtremoved his hand from Blaine's mouth and blushed. At least it was too dark tosee how red he was right now.

           "I'mnot—I mean, not that you aren't—this isn't—"

           "Visible?You could be completely naked and I wouldn't have a clue."

           "What?"

           "I'mjust saying. Look—"

           "Ouch!"

           Blaine'swaving hand, instead of flapping uselessly through the darkness smacked Kurt inthe face.

           "Ohsorry! I didn't mean to—are you okay, Kurt?"

           Kurtstomped his foot and rubbed his nose. "Oh, this is stupid. Here."

           Thelight on his phone illuminated the tiny closet. Blaine was standing just out ofhis personal space, almost back against the door. He nose was crinkled as italways did when he accidentally hurt someone.

           "Sorry.Let me see it. Make sure you aren't bleeding…"

           Kurtstarted to protest, but Blaine's hands cupped his face, his callused fingersgentle as they tilted Kurt's face into the light. Blaine leaned right in toexamine his nose and cheeks. Clearly, he still wasn't completely sober, becauseKurt couldn't imagine he'd be close enough for Kurt to lick if he was.

           "Looksokay," Blaine said after a few moments. His bright eyes met Kurt's, alightwith that same smile they always held. "If it starts bleeding you can usemy sweater. It'll just blend in since its maroon."

           "No!I mean, I'm fine. I wouldn't want to ruin your, um… Blaine?"

           Kurtpaused. Blaine's thumb was resting on his lower lip, a gentle downward pullthat plucked at it.

           "Huh?Oh. Um… sorry."

           ButBlaine's hands didn't move. Kurt took a deep breath, felt Blaine's fingerspress into his cheeks lightly.

           Wasthis it? Would he finally—after so many years of wondering and dreaming andwaiting—have his first true kiss?

           Blainecleared his throat. "Um, I suppose we aresupposed to be…" His eyes dropped to Kurt's lips but he didn't move.

           "Um,Blaine? We could just—I mean I know we're supposed to be kissing, but we could,like, talk or—mmph!"

           "Ouch!"

           Kurtwinced and dropped his phone. Blaine had ducked in for a kiss and insteadbitten Kurt's lip in his tipsy haste.

           "Sorry!I—man, I am so bad at romance. Sorry. We'll just—talking is fine."

           Kurtbrushed his thumb over his lip to check for blood, but found none. He looked atBlaine in the projection of light shining up from the floor. His arms werecrossed and a guilty expression was on his face.

           Washe just not meant to ever have a true first kiss? One that not only counted,but that was with someone he liked and wanted to experience love with?

           "Sorry.You aren't bleeding are you? The dentist always says I have sharp teeth—"

           "Well,you're no vampire. Or a bad one, if you are, since you didn't draw blood."

           "That's—sorry.Here, let me get your phone."

           Theyboth kneeled down together. Their knees knocked and their arms reached out andended up tangled together. Kurt and Blaine laughed.

           "Wereally shouldn't be in confined spaces together," Blaine said.

           "Speakfor yourself. You've been one chemical spill away from a natural disaster sincethey shut the door."

           Blaine'seyes crinkled up as he laughed again. They tried to untangle their arms,tangled them in a new way, and ended up flicking the phone into the cornerbehind a pile of shoes. A strip of light still lit the room but it was dim.

           "Holdstill." Blaine grasped Kurt's forearm with his free hand and pulled themapart. "There. Time should almost be up."

           "Maybe.It's kind of stuffy in here."

           Kurtmet Blaine's eyes in the dimness. Another miss. Another day of longing almostat an end and yet—Blaine had tried to kiss him. That must mean something.

           "Kurt?I'm sorry I bit your lip instead of kissing it."

           Thatdefinitely meant something.

           "Well,maybe… you could kiss it better when we… get out of this closet?"

           Blainetilted his head shyly. "I'm tempted to make a joke about us and being gaybut—"

           "Time'sup losers!"

           "Didthey do it? Did they? I can't see! Finn, hold me up!"

           Rachel'svoice was muffled by the crowd of New Directions, but after one glance at Kurtand Blaine, they all groaned and went back to the couches. As they cleared off,Kurt found his phone and followed Blaine out of the closet.

           "Well?Did you kiss him Kurt? Wasn't this set up perfect?"

           "Shutup, Rachel."

           Butshe was too drunk to care. She took Blaine was the face and yanked his mouthdown to her eye level for further examination.

           "Kurt,these luscious lips of your Blaine Warbler's, they haven't been kissed at all. This is unacceptable!"

           "Rach,leave them alone."

           "No!Finn, look at poor Blaine Warbler's lips! They're entirely not kissed and it'sterrible. Everything is awful! Everything! Finn, you need to kiss these poor lips if Kurt won't—"

           "Allright, that's enough."

           Kurtwrenched Blaine loose from Rachel's grasp and hurried him upstairs by the hand.They found their coats amongst the pile on the couch in the living room. AsBlaine eased his on, he watched Kurt.

           "Did,um, was all of that planned?"

           "No.Not by me anyway. Just don't—don't listen to Rachel. She's insane."

           "Soyou don't want to kiss me?"

           Kurtfroze on his coat's zipper. His fingers fumbled and went numb.

           "Well,I—we're friends, Blaine."

           "Friendscan kiss. Or be friends and more than friends at the same time."

           Kurtturned and found Blaine almost chest to chest with him. He certainly seemedsober enough now. No bloodshot eyes or dopey smile. Just a curiosity and maybehope?

           "Weshould get going. I told Dad I'd be late but—"

           Kurthurried out onto the frosty porch. It was snowing. Large, fluffy flakes weredrifting lazily toward the ground that was a white patchwork of frost.Truthfully, he had no idea what time it was. After ten, surely, but it could bethree in the morning and he'd have no clue. As he dug his phone out of hispocket to check, Blaine shut the front door behind them.

           "Kurt,it's okay if we—if you want to—I mean, I think I want to kiss you too so—"

           "Y-youdo?"

           Blainenodded. Snow was falling into his hair, pulled loose from  the usual slink gel.

           "Imean, we're friends. Best friends.And I've never kissed anyone so… I don't know. I trust you with everything,Kurt. Of course I'd want to trust you with my first kiss."

           "I-I-Ican't believe you've never—I mean you're so—"

           "I'vehad offers," Blaine said with a shrug. "'Like, mostly girls and well…I don't know. It wasn't something I ever considered with anyone who's asked.They all said I was, like, super flirty and… I don't know. I guess I might be.But I don't mean to be and—"

           "You'recompletely flirty. Charming. Ridiculous. But… if you want to then…"

           "Okay.Yeah."

           Theygrasped each other's hands and slowly, Kurt leaned in. Then out. Then Blaineleaned in, and out as Kurt leaned in. They both blushed and giggled nervously.

           "Aftertonight, I think the universe is telling us to wait."

           Blaineonly smiled, but it wasn't his usual charming grin. He was nervous too.Adorably so. Yet still, his eyes held some part of that confidence that neverleft him.

           "Onthree?"

           "Acountdown to our first kiss? This isn't a NASA shuttle launch."

           "Mybrother says the feeling's similar…"

           "One…two… three."

           Kurtleaned in as Blaine did. And miraculously, thankfully, no teeth bit his lip andtheir noses and faces didn't knock together. Their lips met softly and Blaine'sexhale warmed Kurt's cheeks. It almost was like a rocket launch in his belly.He was soaring in bliss. Blaine was kissinghim!

           Kurtbreathed in and shifted his lips. Blaine followed, and for a few moments theystood their together on Rachel's porch, lips connected and tentatively movinguntil Kurt was too dizzy to continue.

           "Wow,"Kurt said.

           Hecleared his throat and kept a hold on Blaine's hands. It was suddenly hard tobreathe. Was that how it felt to be kissed breathless? And why did thebreathless happen afterward? He'd breathed correctly while they'd kissed, andyet… maybe it was loss of Blaine's kiss that took his breath from his body.

           "Thatwas—wow, Kurt. You've got snow in your hair."

           "Sodo you."

           Hewas still breathless, but beaming. His cheeks were warm and rosy, his toescurled in his boots.

           "Thatwas really nice. Like, really, reallynice."

           Kurtnodded as Blaine bashfully looked away.

           "Ihear its better with practice," Kurt said, trying to sound offhanded.

           "Really?Maybe we should, um, practice."

           "Definitely."

[zavocadoarchive]

Maybe something smutty with dom!Blaine?

           "Sit."

           Kurt whined in the back of histhroat. Blaine's cock was just out of reach, had been since he'd taken it intohis throat five minutes ago. That was all he wanted right now. To taste Blaine,to feel the heavy weight of him against his tongue and filling his mouth.

           "Kurt, I said sit."

           He let out another weak whine, butstood and turned away from his husband. Blaine's hands kneaded his ass for amoment and then tugged roughly.

           "Sir, I—please, I want to taste—"

           "I said sit, Kurt. You'll bepunished if I have to tell you again."

           A third whine, this time deep andlow. Kurt backed up until Blaine's thighs were between his. Blaine guided himdown onto his cock and Kurt cried out at the stretch. He took all of him—Blainewould have no less on a night like this—and sat. As Blaine's hands massaged hisass and traced over his spine, Kurt did not best to not touch his own cock,hard and erect, against his belly. He wasn't allowed until Blaine said so.

           "Arch your back."

           Kurt obeyed. A little thrill ran throughhim as Blaine's thumb pressed against his hole.

           "Lean forward."

           When it took Kurt more than a momentto adjust his position, he received a sharp smack on his ass.

           "Sorry, sir. But you feelso—"

           "Forward, Kurt."

           Kurt pressed the heels of his palmsinto Blaine's thighs and groaned as Blaine's cock sunk deeper into him.Blaine's hands cupped his ass and brought him up from where he was resting.Whenever Blaine got into a dominant mood—and Kurt had noticed a definiteincrease since they'd married six months ago—he always insisted on watching ashis cock stretched Kurt open.

           "Look at you." Blaine'shand spread his ass cheeks and his thumb traced Kurt's rim again. "You'reso gorgeous when you take my cock. Like you were made for this."

           Kurt gasped as Blaine's hips jerkedup and filled him again, deeper than before. He stilled as Kurt groaned andtried to work his ass back on Blaine's cock.

           "No. Stay still."

           When Kurt moved to push himself backonto Blaine's cock, he received a second, harder smack on the same cheek.

           "You're such a bad, squirmy boytonight," Blaine's voice said. And suddenly Blaine was sitting up fromwhere he'd been leaning back to watch. "Is my cock not good enough foryou? You need something bigger? Or would you rather have someone else fuck youraw tonight?"

           "No, sir. Only you, sir.Please. I just want to move, to feel you stretch me, to please you."

           "You want to ride?"

           Blaine's teeth nipped at Kurt'sback.

           "Yes, please."

           "Please what?"

           "Please, sir."

           "You want to work thisbeautiful ass for your husband?"

           "Always, sir. Please."

           Blaine hummed against his spine andran his tongue the length of it.

           "Stand up."

           "But—"

           "Up, Kurt. You're already goingto be punished for misbehaving."

           A shiver ran through Kurt as heeased himself off Blaine's cock and turned to face Blaine. Only Blaine caughthis hips and kept him facing their bathroom door.

           "Knees on the bed," Blainesaid, pulling Kurt's hips backward. "Spread yourself for me."

           And Kurt obeyed eagerly. He climbedbackward onto his husband's lap, straddled his hips and sunk back down onto hiscock, and tried to find a quick rhythm. Blaine's hand grabbed Kurt's cockquickly and squeezed before he could find a good pace.

           "Stop. Did I say you could havemy cock again?"

           Kurt gave a cry as Blaine pulled outand forced him to sit right in front of his cock with it pressed between hischeeks.

           "Such a bad boy tonight,"Blaine's voice said against his skin. "You aren't listening at all, baby.You know what that means for this perky ass, don't you?"

           Before Kurt could answer, Blaine'scock thrust back into him, harsh and strong. Kurt bit his lip as Blaine fuckedhim deeply for a few thrusts, and then stilled.

           "Well?"

           "I get a spanking, sir. I'vebeen bad for you. I'm sorry."

           Blaine's hand released Kurt's cockand he leaned back on his elbows. Kurt's entire body was turning red asBlaine's fingers played with his hole, pushing one in to stretch his rim andthen trading it for another.

           "Such a tight little ass.Perfect for my cock. Ride," Blaine commanded suddenly. "And count.You get twenty, and then, maybe, I'll let you come."

           Kurt whimpered, but rested his handson Blaine's knees once again and began to work his hips. He arched as he liftedhimself and then sunk back down, working himself until he was taking theentirety of Blaine's cock into himself with every deep thrust. Blaine's handsmassaged his ass encouragingly for a few minutes, until—

           Smack!

           "One."

           Blaine rubbed over the warm patch ofskin as Kurt's rhythm faltered.  

           "Keep riding," Blaine saidas a second smack descended on Kurt's ass.

           "Two!"

           "If you stop or change pace,there'll be more."

           Kurt bit his lip and shut his eyesas the third, four, and fifth slaps met his flesh. His ass was flaring withwarm pain, his hole contracting around Blaine tighter. To come now would bedevastating. He'd be punished further, perhaps beyond tonight and well into thedawn. Yet Blaine's angle was exquisite. His cock catching and dragging againstKurt's prostate in a way they'd learned years ago. By the eleventh smack, Kurtwas trembling with the effort of maintaining his movements, counting, and notcoming harder than he ever had around his husband's cock.

           Smack!

           "T-twelve."

           "Don't slow down."

           Kurt jerked his hips back up tospeed, his body shaking. What he wouldn't give to come right now. To have thepleasure of feeling Blaine's cock pulsing inside him as he came around him. Hecould come over and over if Blaine kept fucking him. They'd done so before.He'd be a sobbing, pleasant mess, and Blaine would still fuck him. Slower atfirst, then deeper and harder until he crumbled headlong into a second set oforgasms—

           Smack!

           "Twelve…" Kurt broke off to groan.All of his limbs were shaking. The tighter he clenched all of his muscles tokeep moving, the more his body ached for release. Only eight more and then—

           "Wrong. Five more."

           "W-what?"

           "You lost count," Blaine'ssilky voice said, and his tongue ran up Kurt's spine again. "You get fivemore. If you do it again, we start from one."

           "Sorry, sir. I'm—your cockmakes me want to come… over and over until I can't—"

           Smack!

           "Thirteen! Oh god."

           The next five came in quicksuccession and Kurt's jaw was locked by the nineteenth. His insides were onfire, every piece of him needed to fall off the edge into bliss. A tear fellwith the twentieth smack, his ass cheek burning and raw.

           "Twenty. Sir please. I need—I need to—

           "Sweet boy," Blainewhispered against his shoulder. He nipped him neck and then soothed it with histongue. "Five more, okay? You're being so good. And then you can come. Youcan come so hard you make me fill you, yeah?"

           Kurt let out a weak sob, and Blaineseemed to sense he could take no more. Five quick slaps followed and Kurt letout a cry that filled the entire loft. His whole body seized and his focusslipped.

           He came to a while later, the sweatstill damp on his skin and his face resting on his favorite pillow. Kurt groanedsoftly and then deeply as Blaine's cock shifted inside him.

           "Welcome back," Blainesaid and he punctuated his words with a slow, languid thrust. "Youokay?"

           Kurt stretched his toes and arms asBlaine kissed over his back and shoulders. His entire body was heavy with theeuphoria that still lingered in his skin and bones. Orgasms like that alwayshung inside him for hours, sometimes days. Blaine continued to thrust into himgently.

           "My lovely, lovely boy,"Blaine said against his neck. He kissed the soft skin under Kurt's earlobe andcontinued to whisper words of praise into his damp skin. "Can I have youall night, love?"

           Blaine's question ended with aparticularly deep and well-angled thrust. Kurt groaned into his pillow and shuthis eyes. His body shivered.

           "You can have me for the restof our lives."

[zavocadoarchive]

Badboy!Blaine seducing straight!kurt?

           "Kurt! Bud, hey."

           "Ouch."

           A foot nudged Kurt in the ribs asthe heavy machinery of the shop continued to thunder around him. His droppedhis wrench and rolled himself out from under the Honda Civic he was finishing.Simple oil change, new wiper blades and air filter. Working at the shop duringthe summer was something his dad had been against, but Kurt enjoyed it. A jobmeant less time with his McKinley teammates. Less time with them meant lesstime pretending and more time saving for life after high school.

           "Got a minivan for younext," Burt said. He tossed Kurt a rag to wipe his hands on. "Notsure what's up with it, but the kid said it's been making some loud noise whenhe drives too fast. Probably the alignment. Take a look and give me adiagnostic and then get to lunch, okay?"

           "Sure."

           "And then I  want you out of here by five. No helping outFrank again, got it? You're sixteen, Kurt. You've got friends and a girlfriendyou should be spending your summer with, not here."

           "But I like working here."It wasn't entirely a lie. Kurt did enjoygetting the extra time with his dad, and since Finn, his stepbrother, wouldrather be out causing havoc one of them ought to help out.

           "Stop trying to grow up sofast," Burt said. He nudged him toward the next bay. "Go have a look.It's already rolled in. Kid should be waiting for you."

           Kurt got up and stopped to cleanhimself up some in the small mirror in the corner. Grease smudged the outlineof his work goggles, his chin had a rusted smear of oil on it, and his hair,usually spiky with a stripe of bright red from forehead to neck, was a twistedmess and damp with sweat and grease. He grimaced, but it was best this way. Hecouldn't keep clean at the shop, and if he tried, people would talk. They'dstart guessing the truth too. Even his old bedazzled name tag was gone. He'ddumped that two years ago before his first day of high school. Then he joinedthe football team and the other boys have shoved Brittany at him. That part hadbeen fortunate. Brittany didn't seem to realize it was weird for him to nothave sex with her, or do more than kiss once in a while—but then Santana Lopezhad also convinced her that them having sex wasn't cheating either.

           "Kurt, get moving!"

           He hustled off to the next bay, hisdad's eyes on his back. Surely, Burt must know. Or guess. But he'd never saidanything. Not a word about his high voice or his old, squashed interests atall.

           Kurt ducked into the four bay at theend of the shop. A beat up, old minivan waited for him. It looked ready for thescrap heap more than repairs, but he took a precursory lap to check its frameand tires over.

           "It keeps vibrating on thehighway," a voice said behind him. "My dad insists its nothing, but I mean, I shouldn't feellike someone's hooked it up to the world's most powerful vibrator."

           Kurt startled and glanced up.Immediately, he choked on his words. A beautiful boy stood beside him, in tightjeans, an off-white band shirt, and a crisp leather jacket. His curls wereloose and springy. They hung just below his eyes but the boy swept them backand smiled. Kurt's stomach plummeted into the cement.

           "This is your van?"

           The boy shrugged and tugged gentlyat one of his curls. For a moment he chewed on it and winked at Kurt.

           "I got the old van when Dad gotthe Porsche."

           "Sounds like an, uh, alignmentissue. Probably. I'll get it sorted."

           The boy nodded, but his eyeslingered. Kurt went back to checking the tires but all the while he felt theheat of the boy's gaze on him. Was he gay too? Kurt risked a quick look andblushed. He must be. Why else would he be staring so heatedly?

           "You go to McKinley?"

           Kurt nodded, let his eyes flickerbriefly to the zipper of this boy's jeans, before he got up and went over tothe work bench to jot down his notes. The boy followed.

           "Yeah? That should makeSeptember more interesting then. It'll be my first year there. My name'sBlaine."

           "Kurt." He finished hiswriting and turned to shoo Blaine out of the garage. "I've got to get thisup on—"

           "Oh, so forward." Blainemoved right up to him, leaned over and rested his hand right on top of Kurt'son the bench. "I mean, this isn't the ideal place for sex, but I alwayskeep a condom handy so—"

           "What? I'm not—I mean we aren't—this isn't—I have a girlfriend."

           "You think you'restraight?" Blaine chuckled as Kurt breathed deeply under his hot gaze."Seriously?"

           "I'm—please go so I can work onyour vehicle."

           "You don't," Blaine saidand something in his eyes told Kurt, without words, that Blaine could seethrough everything he'd built for almost three years. After ten minutes, thisboy had undone everything he'd pretended to be. "Playing the part, that'sfair around here."

           "I'm straight," Kurt insisted.

           But Blaine only smiled. "Sure.Aren't we all at some point? Or told we are?"

           "I—that's not—please leave meto work."

           And Blaine did. Kurt worked on thevan well after his dad urged him to leave. By the time he finished the shop wasclosed and only himself and his dad remained. Burt shut himself in the officeto run over the day's logs and check numbers while Kurt lowered the van back tothe floor. He looked around for Blaine, but the boy seemed to have disappeared,hopefully for the rest of the night.

           How could anyone be so forward? And,more importantly, how could he know so much of Kurt's secrets so easily?

           Sure, Blaine was gorgeous. He wasclearly gay too. But being involved, in any way, here in Lima, Ohio was a deathsentence. Kurt had dealt with enough bullying and taunting as a kid. He wasn'teager to pick that back up again.

           He began to wash himself off at thesink in the corner. His first face and neck, then his arms and hands. Just ashe checked over his face for any missed spots a hand brushed the back of hisneck. Kurt jumped and stepped on Blaine's foot.

           "You missed a spot,"Blaine said as he traced his finger in a soft circle on Kurt's neck. "Howmuch?"

           Kurt tried to hold in the littlegasp that Blaine's touch had sparked. "H-how much what?"

           Blaine's finger paused. "Howmuch for the repairs?"

           "Um, Dad'll have the bill inthe office."

           Kurt waved his hand in the wrongdirection as he turned. They were chest to chest. Up close, Blaine's eyes werea vivid hazel that reflected Kurt's face.

           "You smell like a gymsock," Blaine said, but he didn't step away. His hands rested on the sink,bracketing Kurt's hips. Yet his words lit a flame for Kurt's temper.

           "Oh, that's kind. If you'rereally trying to flirt with someone,you shouldn't—"

           "Tell the truth?"

           Blaine smiled brightly, but Kurt'sstomach knotted. How many times a day did he avoid that?

           "The shop's a lot quieternow," Blaine said as Kurt lowered his eyes. "Less busy. Nobody wouldbe any the wiser… if you're interested. A lot of guys in the closet stillaren't, even when—"

           Kurt tugged him forward and kissedhim. Their jaws bumped and Blaine groaned and surged into him. His ass hit thesink and Blaine's hips settled between his thighs as their lips found a steadyrhythm between breaths and tongues. A heady rush filled Kurt as Blainecontrolled the pace, as his lips tugged at Kurt's and nibbled his lower one.

           Kissing had never been exciting sincehis first. The most he'd had been Brittany were butterfly kisses. Fleeting andgentle and tentative. Her hips had never pressed between his or moved the wayBlaine's were; rolling and arching. Pressing—

           "Oh!"

           That was different. The best kind ofdifferent. Blaine's mouth moved to his jaw and neck, then back to his lips forone brief, lingering kiss.

           "Okay?"

           Kurt nodded, his stomach fluttering,his chest aching as if he would burst. This was how he should feel; he couldhave kisses like this every day instead of a few weak ones throughout the week.They should make him feel like as if his world was expanding from every sharedbreath and nudge of Blaine's body against his, not confided and empty.

           Blaine's mouth captured his oncemore and his lips lost some of their fierce insistence. They inhaled together,Blaine's hands cupped Kurt's jaw. It felt like he was breathing into his verysoul, casting away his fears and doubts with one prolonged, shared breath. As theirlips parted, Blaine sucked at his lower lip and their noses nuzzled together.

           "You're a great kisser,"Blaine mumbled against his lips. "Shame that you're straight, right?"

           "I'm—" Kurt blinked andtook a deep breath, but Blaine nudged at Kurt's jaw with his neck and sucked afirm hickey into his skin. "Oh, that's—oh,don't stop doing that."

           Kurt let his head fall back asBlaine's sucking grew more eager. His cock was hard in his jumpsuit, juttingagainst the firm press of Blaine's hips. Even his fantasies and dreams hadnever made him this hard. One person shouldn't have so much control over hisbody, but Blaine's sucks were anything but possessive. They were coaxing,hopeful. Every sharp tug on his skin made Kurt want him even more.

           Blaine's mouth returned to Kurt's,but it was a momentarily joy. Someone cleared their throat a few feet away.Blaine stepped back and turned. Burt was standing the doorway, his gazeneutral. Kurt's lust died down immediately. His life was over. His dad wouldrun him out of the house and never speak to him again now. It didn't matter ifhe kept pretending—Burt had just walked in on his only son in the middle of aheated make out with another boy.

           "Why don't you back your vanout and pull up to the office?" Burt said to Blaine. "I was justdrawing up the bill."

           He tossed Blaine the key and watchedhim do as he'd been asked. Burt stood in the doorway as Blaine's van rolled outof the garage, his eyes on Kurt.

           "Dad, I can explain—"

           "Didn't realize you'd broken upwith Britt, kid."

           "I—oh. Well, um…"

           "You ought to, if you haven't,Kurt. Ruse or not, she's got a right to not be—"

           "It isn't like—I mean, I'mnot—it won't happen—I'm—"

           "Kurt stop."

           He swallowed as Burt approached him,every footstep like an earthquake.

           "Bud, look at me."

           Slowly, Kurt's eyes circled theroom, from the work bench that still needed to be cleaned to the empty bay andfinally to his father's face. He wasn't angry or murderous, but he was frowning.

           "You are my son. No matter who you are or like orwhat you do in this life, you are mylittle boy. I love you now as much as I always have, and you kissing boys ordating them or marrying them isn'tgoing to change a damn thing. Got it?"

           "You really—seriously?"

           "Same for Carole. Finn too, I'dsay."

           "But you don't know how they'llreact or if—"

           Burt chuckled and shook his head."Bud, Carole knows."

           "But how—"

           "Kurt, I've known since youwere three. I told Carole not long after we got serious. And yeah, I wasn'texactly in love with the idea, especially once you got all that heat andbullying heaped on you in middle school, but I let you steer your own path.When you starting dating Brittany and hide all those tiaras and scarves away, Ilet you. Almost sat you down at some points, but Carole sat me down instead. Said it was importantthat I let you come to me, let you grow comfortable and confident with yourselfat your own pace."

           "Oh. That's—thanks."

           "Hmm. Well, I'm going to cleanthis garage up. You've made a huge mess. That boy still needs to be rungup."

           Kurt flushed at the not so subtlehint in his dad's voice.

           "Dad—"

           "There's a notepad next to theregister, pens in the drawer. I'll wait in the truck for you."

           "Dad—"

           "What? You've already made outwith him. Seems the right next step and all of that."

           Kurt headed into the office, hisface burning, his heart light. His dad still loved him. He supported him andcared no matter what. How could he have doubted that?

           Blaine was waiting at the counterfor him. He was biting his lip and twisting his hands.

           "I'm so sorry. He didn't—ifyou're in some sort of trouble or if he wants you out of the—"

           "No, it's fine. He—we're okay.Really," Kurt added at the shocked look on Blaine's face. "He was alittle… pushy though."

           As Kurt punched into the registerand brought up Blaine's bill, he tried not to look at him. They'd made out.He'd finally kissed a boy and everything he'd always assumed was true. That waswhy everyone else thought about nothing else.

           "Pushy?"

           Blaine passed him a credit card whenthe total came up. Kurt rang up the transaction, handed Blaine his card back,and then—before he could convince himself otherwise—Kurt dug a pen out of thedrawer. Instead of handing the pen to Blaine to sign his receipt, he jotteddown his number of the notepad and handed it to Blaine.

           "Is this your way of sayingyou're coming out of the closet?"

           Kurt said silent for a minute. Itwas huge step. He'd have to break up with Brittany, tell her the truth, andthen return to school—perhaps with a boyfriend.They'd probably run him off the football team, and the lacrosse team. He'd getslushied just like every kid in Mr. Schuester's little Glee club.

           But as Kurt met Blaine's eyes, hecouldn't refuse him. Or himself.

           "Yeah. I—it's not going tobe—I've always known, but at school—"

           "We'll deal with them."Blaine glanced at Kurt's phone number and then tucked it into his pocket."So, I've been told there's a revival theater in town and they're doing West Side Story. Supposed to starttonight. What do you think? Sound like a good first date?"

           Kurt took a deep breath and nodded."I have to—Brittany, my—well, she's technically my girlfriend and—"

           "Tomorrow then," Blainesaid. "Or whenever you're ready. It's showing all week."

           "Tomorrow," Kurt said.

           He let Blaine sign his receipt andshut off the register. To his surprise, Blaine took his hand as they headed outto the parking lot. Blaine's van was waiting, along with Kurt's dad in histruck. Suddenly embarrassed, Kurt eased his hand out of Blaine's, but Blainewasn't to be deterred. At the door to his van, Blaine kissed his swiftly on thecheek. His fingers grazed Kurt's neck and jaw.

           "See you tomorrow. Maybe thistime we can make out in the vaninstead."

           Blaine drove away. Kurt got into hisdad's truck, his face warm and tingling.

           "We're going to have to setdown some real ground rules now," Burt said as he started for home."About hands and having boys in your room and, uh…a, well, a sextalk."

           "Oh no! No! Dad, no!"

           "It's important, Kurt!"

           "Lalalalalalala!"

[zavocadoarchive]

GYOW: Burt finds himself in a slightly embarrassing situation and has to ask a smirking Blaine for a helping hand x

           Burt rubbed his stomach as it churnedand gave a loud grumble. Too many hot wings. Always too many hot wings whenMonday Night Football began. He hurried off to the bathroom down the hall fromthe living room, leaving Finn behind with a bowl of nachos and enough queso todrown in.

           "Don't be long! Half-time'salmost over, Burt!"

           Finn's voice was duller through the bathroomdoor, but Burt wouldn't be long. Not when it was hot wings. All over in—

           Half an hour. He'd been on thetoilet for half an hour. Finn had stopped shouting plays and scores at him fromthe living room. Perhaps he'd given up and moved upstairs. Burt couldn't blamehim. Someone knocked on the door.

           "Honey, are you okay inthere?"

           "Fine." Burt grunted ashis stomach knotted up and the nightmare continued. "Ugh, just—why did youguys let me eat hot wings?"

           "Couldn't stop you if I tried. Kurtand Blaine just got home. Finn's gone to bed too. I'm going to take a showerand head up as well. There's baby powder in the medicine cabinet in case you'resore once you're done."

           He gave a grunt of thanks and gotback to it. Forty minutes, forty-five, fifty. At three minutes to an hour, Burttwisted his wristwatch away from his sight and patted his stomach. That shoulddo it. Just one final necessity before—

           "Who forgot to put new toiletpaper on the roller? For god's sake—"

           Burt twisted around to pull a newone off the stack they kept beside the toilet. Disappointment filled him atonce.

           "Who was—Finn! How many timesdo we have to tell you to—what am I supposed to—damnit all!"

           Someone snickered. Burt twistedtoward the door but it was still shut. He knew that voice though, and of thethree boys in their house, it was the last person he wanted in this situation.

           "Having an unexpected difficultyin there? Kurt thinks you're roasting your ass on the seat."

           "Kurt would never—Blaine, eitherget me some toilet paper or go get someone who will."

           "Oh, someone's not friendlytonight. Probably because those hot wings turned your asshole raw—"

           "Blaine!"

           "Say please."

           The door popped open and a roll oftoilet paper was waved just out of Burt's reach. Almost as if he'd planned it.Or maybe—

           "You. You're the one who didn'tput a new one in here."

           Blaine made a sound like a buzzer."Nope. That'd be Finn."

           "Then why are you bringing metoilet paper?"

           "Met Finn in the hall on hisway down. I volunteered as tribute. You know, to piss you off and make you squirm.Well?"

           "Give me the toilet paper,Blaine."

           "Manners matter."

           "Blaine—"

           "It's one word, one syllable.This isn't that difficult."

           "You're a right littleshit—"

           "Shit's a nice, one syllableword, and I'm sure your ass has enjoyed it plenty in the last hour, but it's thewrong answer."

           Blaine's hand withdrew.

           "Blaine! Just—fine, please."

           Blaine's hand reappeared and tossedthe toilet paper to Burt.

           "Brat."

           "Raw ass."

[zavocadoarchive]

Drabble prompt: It is 3 am on a sunday morning, there is a massive blackout, and our fire escape is really, really dark *obligatory eywbrow waggle*

           "I can't believe we can see thestars."

           "From our fire escape or themiddle of Brooklyn?"

           Kurt shrugged and pressed his faceharder against their kitchen window. "Both, I guess. Blackouts aren't socreepy here. In Lima… I always expected bandits with rifles to just appear inthe living room. Like a rogue group from one of those post-apocalyptic movies comingto take all of our canned goods."

           Blaine snorted from his pile ofblankets on the couch. "The snow's too deep for that. Has itstopped?"

           "Yeah, about twenty minutesago." 

Kurt tilted his head a little more until he could see almoststraight up into the sky. Little freckles of light dotted the infiniteblackness overhead. It was so easy to forget what was up there while living inthe blaze of New York. Down here, they were roaming on the white-hot surface ofa different type of star. A lively, more thrilling kind.

           "I'm going to make more hotchocolate. You want any, Kurt?"

           "Hmm."

           A pot clanked on the stove top, acabinet creaked open and then snapped shut. Kurt's nose was frozen, but he keptit smooshed against the foggy window.

           "You know, we could go sit outthere if you want," Blaine's voice said behind him. A second later, hishusband's arms wrapped around Kurt’s hips. "Hot cocoa, lots of blankets,those scarves Rachel bought us for Christmas."

           "Aw, our dads scarves. They'reso dorky."

           "They've got a built-in burprag. It's innovative."

           "You're starting to sound likeDad," Kurt said. He giggled and grinned as Blaine kissed his neck on hismost ticklish spot.

           "He's a good example,"Blaine said with another kiss, this one higher under Kurt's earlobe."Perfect model for us come summer."

           "But until then, we're stillyoung, carefree husbands," Kurt reminded him as Blaine returned to thestove. "Young enough to be a little… bolder. I mean, it's so dark and coldand we might get hypothermia if we don't keep ourselves properly warm…"

           "We might also break our dicksoff. It's sixteen degrees out there, Kurt. And the fire escape has got two feetof snow on it."

           "But most of it fell through.And it's so pretty outside. Come on,this is on our bucket list. And once our baby is here…"

           "We'll be too busy. Or we can wait until after she goes away tocollege—"

           "We won't even live in the city by then," Kurt said.He helped Blaine pour their mugs, but immediately set them on the counter andwedged his hips between his husband's thighs. "Please? We can be simpleabout it. Rut fully-clothed, like we used to do in my car in your driveway."

           Blaine groaned, a little turned on,but mostly resigned. Kurt nudged his hips forward until he was pressed right upagainst Blaine. He had him. He always got his way. But a few lingering kisses didn'thurt, just in case. A second groan left Blaine's mouth and Kurt smiled as henipped his jaw and neck, one hand pushing into the front of Blaine'ssweatpants.

           "Well?"

           "Fine. Grab the blankets."

[zavocadoarchive]

The first time Kurt witnessed Phoenix!Blaine

A prequel of sorts to this story 

         Blainewoke on a ground slick with mud. It was dark, the deepest darkness his eyes hadever tried to penetrate. He sat up slowly, his fingers pressed into the earthand squelched in the mud.

           "Hello?"

           Oh, excuse me.

           "Who'sthere?"

           Blainesquinted around himself, but it was too dark. The air was black. He reached outin front of himself to see if he could grasp it or pull a thick curtain asidethat was hiding the light from his eyes. Instead, someone took his hand andshook it. The fingers were smooth and long, but the grip was firm.

           "Whycan't I see you? Who are you?"

           Justlike that the hand was gone. Blaine spun around, his hands grappled at air as aburst of panic pulled inside of his chest. He was gone. This boy was gone. Thismost important boy who—

           Whowhat?

         Hepaused and looked down at himself, but it was only blackness to be seen, sodark he could have been blind. Blaine held his hands right up to his face, butsaw nothing. How did he know that was a boy? Or anyone at all when he had noidea where he was?

           Asudden spark of light flickered before him. Blaine winced and shielded his eyesuntil they adjusted, only to find the light was nothing more than a match. Orperhaps a flame at such a distance it looked tiny. He took a step nearer, butit stayed small.

           "Hello?I-is that you again?"

           Can I ask you a question? I'm new here.

           Newto where? And why did that sound so familiar? Someone had said that to him,hadn't they? Earlier in the day when he'd—

           "Ouch!"

           Aline of fire flashed along his arms and then smoked out. He was sweating nowlike heat was prickling to life under his skin. Blaine scratched his arms wherethey were still smoking and squinted towards the flame in the distance. It wasstill there, but duller. Almost as if someone was standing before it andblocking part of its brilliance from his eyes.

           Thatshouldn't have hurt him. It was only a flame and this must only be a dream. Itbeing dim and distance wasn't nothing to him. He'd wake up soon, at home in hisbed. But his arms still burned as he stepped toward the flame. Within minuteshe was beside the small pit where it was kept. A few steps led down toward thefire that was much larger than he'd expected. A thousand lives could have comeand gone before this fire would end. It towered over him and sparks of flamepopped and burst on his skin.

           Afigure stood beside it, slim and tall. He turned as Blaine stopped behind him.His features were strong but smooth; his hair coiffed and lit with the blazingashes that seemed to bounce from the fire to Blaine's skin to him. Everythingconnected the three of them.

           "Myname's Kurt," he said.

           "Blaine."

           "Comeon. I know a shortcut."

           Kurttook his hand and led him down the steps and into the glow of the fire. Blainechoked on the ash and the heat, but this young man only smiled.

           "Welcomehome."

           Thefire roared, Blaine felt his skin char and flake, and a moment later he wassitting up in bed. The smoke alarm was screeching overhead and his blankets hadturned to ash around him. Blaine gasped and coughed as his bedroom door burstopen.

           "Blaine,what—oh, honey."

           Hismother hurried over with a blanket from the corner of his room and draped itaround his shoulders. Blaine choked more violently as his skin blistered fromsome sort of unbearable heat. Why had that boy been  in his dream? Why did he feel like he'd justbeen burned alive?

           "Congratulations,Blaine," his mother said. She hugged him and ran her hand through his dampcurls. "You've finally found him, and so young, too."

           "W-what?F-found w-who? Mom, why c-can't I breathe?"

           "Shh,deep breaths through your nose, dear. It'll pass. You're still being reborn.See?"

           Shetook his arm in her hand and held it up for him to see. It looked raw and shinyas if he'd coated his skin in Aloe Vera after a really bad sunburn. His mom pressedher fingers to his skin and a faint outline appeared. It was dark orange,almost like an imprint.

           "That'sa family imprint, and your soulmate's will be red. Don't you remember metelling you that?"

           Blaineshook his head and swallowed. "Water."

           "Yes,of course. Al? Al! Go get Blaine some water."

           Blaine'sdad appeared and then disappeared just as quickly. Blaine trembled against hismother and tried to think back to his dream—vision? He wasn't sure anymore.

           "Doyou know who it was? The one who took you into the flames?"

           "Youknow—"

           "It'salways the same once you meet that person," his mom explained."That's your soulmate. I'll explain more once you're through this firstone, okay?"

           "S-sure.It was, um, this boy I met at school today. Um, Kurt."

           "Oh,this is wonderful, Blaine. Really. You'll get to talk to him all about it wentyou see him tomorrow. Or maybe Thursday. You're looking a little rough and it'salready dawn."        

           "Talkto him? But how could—"

           "He'llknow, dear. You aren't the only one who had this dream. He was there,too."

           "Hewas?"

           "Yes.Here, let me see your phone. You did get his phone, didn't you? I'm sure youdid, you're such a social little phoenix."

           "Phoenix?"

           "Yes.My mother was too. It skipped me, and Cooper too as far as I can tell. Oh,there's a text from him Here."

           Shepassed Blaine his phone and he opened it to his messages. Three messages fromKurt were the first listed.

           [4:53 A.M.] This is going to sound strange,but I just had a dream about you bursting  into flames and I… I can't help but think it was real.

           [5:01 A.M.] My arms are… they're gotthese weird freckles all over them now. Like ash or something. Can you call me?

           [5:03 A.M.] Sorry, I'm being stupid.They're gone and… sorry. Ignore this. I'm just being a lunatic over nothing.

           "Callhim. I'll go get that water. I'm sure your father's having a nervous breakdownin the kitchen. He was hoping it had skipped you like it did me andCooper."

           "Heknows too?"

           "Callyour Kurt, dear."

           Blainedialed Kurt's number. It rang once before Kurt answered.

           "Blaine,hi. You shouldn't have—I'm being stupid. And crazy. God, we just met and—"

           "Youhave really bad ideas for shortcuts," Blaine said. He coughed and wincedas his skin tingled. "Um, flames aren't a good shortcut."

           "Y-youknow w-what—how did—"

           "Canwe meet up this afternoon? My mom's got to explain this, apparently she knowswhatever it means. But what you dreamed was what I dreamed too."

           "Oh.That's—oh. Are you okay?"

           "Yeah,I mean, I think so. A little scared."

           "Canwe meet at the Lima Bean in town? I know it's out of your way after school,but—"

           Blainestared at his blistered arms and the scattered ashes all over his once cleanand neat bed. "Don't think I'm going to school today, actually. I'll seeyou at the Lima Bean at three o'clock?"

           "Okay."

[zavocadoarchive]

chepaer by the dozen klaine au. if you've seen that movie its a family with twevle kids

           "Honey…Kurt, wake up."

           Kurtgrunted as his side was pinched, then his arm, and finally his cheek.

           "Ouch!"

           "Getup. The kids need to get to school." Blaine kissed his forehead andgroaned. "I've got my appointment at ten and I still need to shower."

           Kurtpressed his face into his pillow and snuffled. Kids? Were they babysitting kidsagain? He and Blaine didn't have children yet. Rachel was a few months pregnantas their surrogate, but their little baby—their Little Feta, as Blaine keptcalling it—was almost six months away still.

           "Blaine,we don't have kids. This isn't another drill run for when we're thirty andhave—woah!"

           Kurt sat up and gapped at hishusband, or more specifically, the enormous swell of his stomach. He blinkedonce, twice, and then shut his eyes so hard his forehead hurt. When he openedthem, Blaine's belly was still the size of an exercise ball.

           "Uh,honey? I know we've both fallen off the healthy eating wagon lately, but didyou… by chance, mistake our purple exercise ball for a very largegumball?"

           "What?"Blaine pressed a hand to his stomach and laughed. "I'm pregnant again, youdolt. Get up. Our elementary crew needs a ride to school."

           "But—howare you—"

           "Andcan you get my underwear out of the drawer?"

           Kurt bentto where Blaine was pointing and picked out a purple and yellow striped pair ofboxer briefs. Pregnant? It didn't make any sense. They were two young marriedmen with one baby on the way. And itcertainly wasn't growing inside of his husband.

           "Look,this is a great joke but—"

           "Kurt,I don't have time for this. Go. Take them to school. They need to be therein—" Blaine looked at his watch "—twenty-three minutes. Go.Now." Blaine shoved a pair of car keys into his hand. "And make surethe others are getting ready to leave."

           "Others?"

           Kurt wasshoved out into a hallway very different from the one he'd left behind lastnight. Had they moved while he'd slept? How long had he been out? Why on earthwas his husband pregnant? Maybe thiswas all a vivid dream brought on by eating half a box of cronuts during thatGolden Girls marathon last night.

           He wentdown a wide curved staircase and was immediately greeted by a roar of noise. A swarm of children were in a vast,gourmet kitchen that Kurt adored on sight until it was blocked by a group ofteenage boys. Two were identical and his height, the other two a littleshorter, but all four looked like a pleasantly strange mixture of himself andBlaine.

           "Dad,they're making a mess again. Honestly, Zoe and Lily are obnoxious."

           "Weare not!"

           A littlegirl popped up. Her dark curls were covered in powdered sugar and syrup was allover her mouth.

           Kurt onlygapped at them all. He took a quick count. Eleven. How—when had they—at mostthey'd agreed on five, but eleven—

           "Daddy, up! Piggy backride!"

           A smallbrunette girl with loose braids had appeared from around the island sitting.Twelve then. She was so little he hadn't seen her behind the counter. At leastthis one was clean.

           "Notnow, Sadie," one of the teenage boy's said. This one looked a little toomuch like himself. "Go bug Papa."

           She skippedoff towards the stairs.

           "Uh,um. Time for s-school. Everyone get going to where they need to be?"

           The groupof children broke apart. Plates went in the sink, lunches were passed out byone of the teenage boys. Backpacks were picked up from hooks along the wall,all arranged by heights. After the little kids had filed out, the two oldestlingered in the doorway with Kurt.

           "Youokay, Dad? You seem a little off. You didn't cut yourself trimming your  beard again, did you?"

           The othertwin snorted. "Remember how twitchy he was about that, Liam? Or that timeUncle Sam let slip that you'd cut your di—"

           "Ahno!"

           Kurt gaveboth of the laughing boys a glare. Clearly, these two had spent a lot of timearound Sam. Maybe he'd have to rethink letting Sam Evans be their baby's unclein his real life. If he ever got back to that life. What was going on?

           He headedoutside and winced. Two enormous van type vehicles were parked in the driveway.One of the twins was climbing into the driver's seat of the first, alreadypacked with what looked like the older kids. The second van however—

           "Stopshoving!"

           "No,that's my seat! You sat there yesterday!"

           "Get off, Maddox!"

           Lots ofscreeching rung in Kurt's ears as he headed towards them. This was all aterrible dream. It had to be.

           "Everyoneget into a seat!"

           The kidspaused and glanced at him. Then all six of them began to speak at once.

           "ButDad, she's in my seat!"

           "I gothere first so it's mine, Zoe!"

           "It isnot, Maxine!"

           A littleboy, probably the youngest of this group, came over and tugged on the leg ofKurt's pajamas.

           "Buckleme, pwease, Daddy."

           "Ofcourse, um… Maddox?"

           "I'mJuni!"

           "Right,right. Let's get you in here—"

           After fivemore minutes of squabbling, all of the little ones were buckled in and Kurt wason the road. He almost asked one of the older ones where the school was, butbefore he'd made it half a mile he was met with a flashing sign for a schoolzone. Kurt followed the other cars and vans and dropped the horde off at thedoor, then drove back to the house where not-his-Blaine was eating a tall stackof blueberry pancakes.

           "Oh,god, these are good. I can't believe how good caramel syrup is onpancakes." He rubbed his balloon belly that seemed permanently attached tohim, and stuffed another forkful into his mouth. "Want some?"

           "Uh,no. So those kids…"

           "They'rea lot some mornings. Did you make sure Juni zipped up his pants today? He keepsforgetting. And Zoe's book report was due today. Did Dalton grab his sportsbag? And Olivia has soccer at four and we've got to get Sadie to preschoolbefore my appointment—"

           A footkicked his face. Kurt yelped and fell out of bed. His bed. The bed he sharedwith his real Blaine and not the one pregnant with child number thirteen. Heglanced around the room and breathed a sigh of relief. Their apartment with hisbeautiful decorations and furniture. Blaine was sitting up in bed, rubbing hiseyes as he squinted in the dawn light. Kurt rushed over to him and pulled thecovers off his torso.

           "Oh,thank god." Then he slappedBlaine's flat stomach and threw himself on top of him. "Don't you dareever get pregnant and if you so much as thinkfor one minute, that we are having thirteen children out of your imaginaryvagina then you can just think again, buddy."

           "Huh?"

           "Shutup. I hate you. You're not allowed to get a beer gut either or I'll worry I puta baby in there."

           "Kurt,what are you—"

           "No.Shh. And we're using condoms every time now in case you've got secret anatomydown there. No surprises. Gotit?"

           Blaineyawned and shut his eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Can I go back tosleep?"

           Kurtnodded. "Only if I don't wake up to you pregnant."

           "Notgoing to happen. There's nothing for a baby to grow in inside me."

           "Good.Keep it that way."

[zavocadoarchive]

Klaine with a baby boy. Blaine recording everything and Kurt thinking he's not camera ready. Baby boy is super photogenic and is super adorable. Burt gets the videos and remembers Kurt as a baby.

Burt carried two cups of coffee intothe living room where Carole was watching the evening news. He kissed her cheekas she finished painting her thumb nail.

           ”Whatdo you think? Is green my color?”

           Burtnodded. “Yeah. Very Christmasy. Aiden’s going to love gnawing it off yourfingers when the boys get here on Friday.”

           ”Oh,damn. I forgot about—maybe we’ll leave you with the finger chewing.”Carole unscrewed the lid of her nail polish remover and began cleaning thepolish off her nails. “I can’t believe he’s almost five months. I bet he’stwice the size he was when we saw him for Thanksgiving.”

           HisiPad bleeped on the coffee table. Carole scooped it up and beamed.

           ”Newvideo email from Blaine! I bet it’s of Aiden.”

           Burtshook his head. “With Kurt around? He’s been insisting he’s too young tobe on camera for more than a minute.”

           Stillhe opened his email and then the message from Blaine. A little email updatecame first, about their travel plans and arrival times, followed by a video.Burt hit play and was immediately dropped into Kurt and Blaine’s living room.

           ”Hi,bubbie. Aren’t you the cutest little baby today? Yes, you are! Oh, Blaine, no!He isn’t ready for the camera yet!”

           Burthad a sweeping view of their apartment, including a playpen, several stuffedanimals, and a mountain of baby toys. He was proud to say he’d bought more thanhalf of that, but his only grandkid deserved everything.

           Kurtcame into view, along with a little baby, head held up all on his own. He wasimpeccably dressed in a little polo and bow tie with khakis.

           ”Nobetter dressed baby in the world,” Carole said as she laughed. “Aw,look at him. I bet he’ll be crawling by the time they get here.”

           Kurtcovered Aiden with a purple blanket with green and blue dinosaurs on it. Asecond later a little gurgling, chubby cheeked laugh filled the air.

           ”Oh,he’s laughing! Listen to him!”

           Thecamera moved towards then, and a second later the blanket was pulled offAiden’s head.

           ”Peep-a-boo!Papa found you!” Blaine laughed as Aiden giggled louder.

           Kurtgrinned and kissed Aiden’s chubby cheek, then leaned out of sight to kissBlaine as well. “Fine. If he’s going to be this cute on camera, then Iguess he’s ready. But only for home videos!”

           ”Good.I’ve got about seven hours worth of footage already, and—oh, wait until you seethis one, Kurt! I did this yesterday!”

           Thecamera was passed off, a view of the floor, the ceiling, a table leg, and thenit was on Aiden’s face. He was laying down on the purple blanket looking ashappy as any baby ever had.

           ”Ready?”Blaine’s voice asked. Kurt must have nodded because Blaine’s hand appeared inthe shot, all his fingers curled except for one.

           ”Thisone’s Uncle Cooper’s fault, isn’t it, bubbie? He’s the only always pointing.”

 (Watch this video).

           Aidenopened his mouth to babble and Blaine wiggled the side of his finger back andforth against his lips. A babbling like a cute baby motor began, bubbling andmore adorable than anything else Burt could have imagined. Aiden’s little handcame up and curled around Blaine’s finger as Kurt’s laughter filled the room.After that, the video ended but Carole was chuckling and Burt was smilingthrough the first of his tears.

           Hisson was a dad. God, it felt like only yesterday he’d been running down the hallto Liz terrified that the diaper rash of baby Kurt’s butt had been a seriousdisease.

           ”He’sthe cutest little thing. I hope they have five more just like him.”

           ”Ican’t believe Kurt’s a dad. That—god, it wasn’t that long ago he was runningaround the house naked while I tried to dress him for preschool. He used to hate clothes. Did I ever tell youthat?”

           ”Idon’t believe it.”

           ”Holdon. Let me go find the old VHS tape.”

[zavocadoarchive]

pretty lame, I know, but maybe - has to share a cab because there’s a thunderstorm ahead (and then gets stuck in ridiculous NY/LA traffic) AU??

“Taxi! Taxi! Ugh, come on!”

            Kurt stumbled,stepped in a big pothole puddle, and tried not to screech. This was the worstday. Both of his alarms had failed, it was the first cold day in October andhe’d rushed out without a jacket, scarf, or umbrella.

           A fat drop of rain hit his nose. Heglared up at the sky, took one glance at the newspaper in his fist that hehadn’t read yet, and unfolded it over his head. His hair was not getting ruinedbefore he ever made it to work. Granted, it would certainly help with hisexcuse story once he arrived. Isabelle would start to worry soon. It was definitelyafter nine by now. He reached into his pocket for his phone and his arm wentall the way through to the elbow.

           "No… no, come on, you can't be—damnit!"

           Kurt kicked the curb before fishinghis brand new phone out of the pothole puddle. Of course. Of fucking course itwould. Right after he'd ordered that beautiful purple and teal Life Proof case.

           "Taxi! Would someone give me ataxi!"

           More rain began to fall. On hisnose, his shoes, his brand new suit, until his newspaper was soggy and causingmore harm than good. He continued to shout for a taxi as he shoved the drenchedwad into the nearest trash can.

           "Taxi! Ta—finally!"

           A cab pulled over beside him. Kurt hurriedover, reciting his work address as he wiggled into the backseat.

           The driver nodded. "Secondstop. His is closer."

           "Second? Who—"

           An impeccably dressed, handsome mansat beside him. His hair was parted on the side, styled fluffy but neat, and alittle curly. His suit was a dark green velvet pattern, and his little bowtiewas covered in pots of gold and rainbows.

           "Since when do leprechauns needpublic transit?" Kurt said before he could stop himself. "What?Didn't have time to wait for this abominable rain to end before you took a rideon Reading Rainbow?"

           The man only smiled. It wasn'ttoothy or overwhelming, but it seemed sincere.

           "It's St. Patrick's Day,"he said. "I'm giving a lecture on musicianship for an elementary schooltoday. I figured they'd get a thrill from a real life leprechaun. I might evendo an Irish accent."

           "Oh. Right." Kurt flushed."Look, I'm sorry. It's already been an awful day. Thanks for stopping. Youreally didn't have to."

           "Why? Was there another flockof pigeons and tourists you were hoping to frighten with your shrieking?"

           "I was not—"

           "You were. It was cute."The man smiled this time wide and bright. Kurt nearly choked on his breath."My name's Blaine."

           "Kurt."

           The cab pulled over beside a schoolwhere a few children were being dropped off as a bell rang inside. Blaine paidthe driver, climbed out and adjusted his bow tie. It was very cute when Kurtcould see the whole picture. But not as cute as the man wearing the ensemble.

           "Enjoy the rest of your day,Kurt," Blaine said. He leaned back in for his bag and gave Kurt a gentlepinch on the arm. "Also, you should have worn green. I won't be the lastto do that." He shut the door a waved as the cab pulled away.

           Ten minutes later, Kurt arrivedoutside of his office building. Instead of saying his total the driver handedhim a card.

           "Don't I owe yousomething?"

           "Nope. He paid for you. Wantedme to give you this."

           Kurt looked at the business card.

           BlaineAnderson

           Actor, Musician, Theatrical Specialist

           A cell phone number followed, and itwas only the Lima, Ohio area code that gave it away.

           "But my fare—"

           "Would have been insignificantnext to his after driving around the block ten times." The driver pointedat him like it was meaningful. "Call him, take him to dinner. Woe him intoyour bed. My little brother needs a hot man. Now get out of my cab, this is arental!"

           Kurt scrambled out before any of thedriver's words hit him. Rental? Brother?

           "Hey! Wait!"

           But the taxi was gone, already seamlesslymelted into the blanket of yellow that covered the New York City street. Kurtexamined the card once again, and tucked it into his pants pocket afterchecking that this one didn't have a hole as well. Blaine Anderson…

           Maybe today wouldn't be so terribleafter all.

[zavocadoarchive]

I remember you writing time ago a trasgender!blaine fic. it would be awesome to see more of it in some of your drabbles :)

So this is set about ~6 years after my trans!Blaine one shot (found HERE) from forever ago. They're married now, approximately 24, and well... daddy!Klaine is months away. 

Annnd, a small warning for pregnant!Blaine.

*********

           Kurtgrunted as he rolled over and knocked his alarm clock off the night-stand. Heglared up at the ceiling and rubbed his stomach. Friday morning. No work, justa chance to sleep in before their appointment and—

           His bladderwas about to explode.

           Kurt leapout from under the covers and stumbled into the bathroom, still bleary eyed andhalf asleep. He settled into front of the toilet to pee. It was still several hoursbefore they had to leave, but Blaine was already getting ready. Kurt slippedhis sweatpants back up his hips and flushed, then moved to the double vanitywhere Blaine was flossing his teeth.

           "Morning,"Kurt said. He yawned and washed his hands and glanced at Blaine in the mirror."Aw, that towel's looking a little small."

           Blainegrumbled and rested one arm over the swell of his belly. Kurt smiled and lookedhis husband over as he dried his hands. His favorite dark green towel wasresting under Blaine's growing stomach, looking ready to rip or fall off.

           Kurtstepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Blaine. "How are myfavorite boys on this beautiful Friday morning?"

           "They'vebeen kicking me since dawn," Blaine said. He bit down on his floss reachbrush and grimaced. "And we do need a bigger towel. I'm barely six monthsand this one's already too small. Ouch! Oh, that was my rib."

           Blainewinced again and set his floss brush down, rubbed a spot above where Kurt'shands were resting, and sang a soft lullaby. "Hush little baby…"

           Kurt joinedhim and they sang a few more songs, from their favorite duet to anotherlullaby.

           Kurt kissedhis cheek when they finished. "Better?"

           Blainerubbed over his belly and nodded. "For now. They're moving more everyday." He closed his hand over Kurt's. "I'm hoping you'll be able tofeel them soon."

           "Twenty-fourweeks," Kurt said. "Doctor Kindred said any time in the next monthprobably. I think she was surprised I hadn't already—oh! Oh!"

           Blainelaughed as another kick hit where Kurt's hand was resting. "Abouttime."

           "Oh!That's—doesn't that hurt? Oh my gosh. That's our little—one of our little—ourbabies are kicking me."

           "I'drather they kick you for the next three months and give my ribs a break."Blaine rubbed over the spot, and then laughed louder when Kurt spun him aroundand dropped to his knees. "Really? My belly doesn't need any more kissesor we're going to be very late for our appointment."

           "But Ilove kissing your belly and saying hi to our little ones." Kurt pressedanother kiss to the same place one of their babies was thumping at and smiled."Hi, little one. Are you saying hi to Daddy? Daddy loves you and he loveshow big you're both growing in your Papa's belly."

           "Papa'sgetting less pleased," Blaine said with a soft groan. "I hope thatnext set of shirts is almost done because these are starting to gettight."

           Kurt kissedhis belly and stood up to kiss his lips. "Already? You've only beenwearing them for about three weeks."

           Blainepulled his polo off the hanger on the door and eased it over his head. Kurtgrinned as he tugged it over his belly. A little bit of skin was alreadyshowing at the bottom.

           "Aw,you look precious. But you're right. It's still a little too chilly to haveyour belly poking out." Kurt took him by the hand and led him back intotheir room. "Come on, I just finished one last night. Carole said she sentanother package with more a few days ago. They should be here this weekend."

           "Youjust need to start a paternity line at work so all the pregnant daddies havesomething cute to wear."

           "Isabellewants to see the rest of my designs on Monday," Kurt said as he found thepurple shirt and vest combination he'd completed for Blaine. "I was hopingyou might come along and model them?"

           "Ofcourse. The benefits of not having an office job."

           "Iwish I got to stay home and work on music and play music with Sam and Elliottand have a big pregnant belly."

           Blainegrinned and patted his stomach. "Aw, you hear that, babies? Daddy wants togrow you two a sibling in his non-existent uterus."

           Kurtblushed a little and wrapped his arms around Blaine, holding him close andlaughing as Blaine's belly dug into his.

           "I'dtotally carry our baby. I'm kind of jealous actually. They're going to knowyour voice and your heartbeat and I'm just going to be this strange ganglything that picks them up and wipes their butts. They already love you."

           "Well,they love their daddy, too." Blaine said. He leaned up to kiss Kurt."Papa tells them about how wonderful Daddy is all the time. Andbesides," Blaine added with a teasing kiss, "they have firsthandexperience with how great you make me feel."

           Kurtchuckled and smacked Blaine's chest. "Don't! They don't need to know aboutthat yet!"

           "Theyenjoy it. Trust me. Puts them right to sleep. Now give me that shirt and mysweatpants. I need those new jeans soon, too."

           Kurt handedthem over and watched Blaine change. "This afternoon. That emerald greenthat's your favorite."

           "Oh,good. Thanks."

           "Ilove you, husband."

           "Ilove you, too, husband."

           They kissedand another thump hit Kurt's hand where he was resting it on Blaine's waist. Helaughed and kissed the top of Blaine's belly. "We love you, too, littleones. Let's go see how big you've grown."