Latest and Greatest Fanfictio
Written by me and @crusty-white-dog
Where the Sun Don't Shine (wexico)
once upon a time , there was the UNited States . the President was Derek Aberdeen and he was Happy ruling over the United STates of Olympus with his finger up his butt and his Nonbinary Bride . But, he was the Only one that was Happy in the relationship ! For his they/them Wife, CC Pope, was SOLD to Harry Styles (HIS FATHER) to be wed to Derek , and CC . They didnt like that Okay? Yes.
it was CC's 18th Birthday . The sun was shining where the sun dont sun, the birds they were singing ice spice , and everyone was happy , especially derek, since he could freely marry his they/them wife , CC, without public scrutiny . But CC wasn't happy . They were on the edge of their bed crying, No. Sobbing realy hard . ok and it was sad they were sad . they were soooo sad . it was like the afternoon and they hadnt evne gotten dressed yet, they were just like . crying idk .
"I CANT live like this No more , " CC cries. "I gotta go Run away !!!!!"
Suddenly, they jump out the window, but they don't fall, for there's a suicide net under their window . Wow. CC nibbles out the net, chomping like Beaver, until they fall . JUSTIN Beaver . but they fall, into Derek Aberdeen's lap.
"mM, Warm," Derek says.
"Ew," CC wiggles out of Derek's arms . "Derek, I'm running awya. I don't love you, I don't like you, you look like a labubu? That ONly perosn that would love you is Marcos," CC confesses. Derek GASPS.
"Woman, How DARE YOU," he ROARS. GASP, he's transphobic AND he's misogynistic???? What thte Freak. Don't worry , a Threat is coming up. Just look on twitter. "You can't run from me, I'll spank you. You're my FEMALE BRIDE, you're MINE!!!!"
"Ew, dude what the fuck," CC throws up all over him. And in his shock, they run away. They run so fast, so freaking fast. They don't even know where theyre going, but they run, they run until they run into a hole. "AAAAAAAAAAAA," they CREAM as they fall into a deep dark hole in the ground. They rub their head as they try to get up and theyre looking around and theyre like where the hell am i.
Dream pops out, "Hey, Babygirl, that's what the Mask is." He smirks as he eyes CC up and down.
"Dude what the fuck are you doing, youu can't do that," GeorgeNotFound says as he beats Dream.
"What? I can't say that?" Dream spits out.
"Yeah man you can't say that," SNapchat says.
"But they're Like my Daughter," Dreamnotfound says sadly and seriously.
"I dont know who the fuck you people are," CC cries. And then, the Lights turn On. Sparkles all around, music starts to play. Her golden hair hair flies in the wind, a kiss mark on her cheek, her legs glistening and shining,
That's That Her Expresso, Sabrina Carpenter
Everyone gasps and stares at the Golden Beauty that graces their Prescence. "SABRINA CARPENTER?" CC gasps.
"yeah," Sabrina Carpenter says.
"Sabrina , can you mansplain what's going on in wexico rn," Snapchat asks while scrolling on tiktok with one hand, and hitting his Strawberry Watermelon Geek Bar Pulse X 25K Disposable vape. Sabrina Carpenter flips her hair,
"ok," she says. "It all started whenn......"
FLASHBACk
A fist flies in the air, hitting Derek in His UGLYT face. the fist belonged to a Polish Fiend, known as Polish Liam. Derek, naked and beaten, cries out, "What're you doing to me?" Polish Liam sticks an artificial insemination stick up Derek's secret third hole. Derek cries out from pain, fear, shock, and confusion at the strange man interuptting his intimate session with himself to beat him, but what he doesn't know is that the worst , or best, is yet to come. Derek later finds himself above a large pit, thousands of children pour out of him; the new generation of Wexicans.
"Wow, I guess that's why he's so messed up," CC realizes.
"No hes just like that," GeorgeNotofund says.
"Because of this, he was waged a war on Wexico," Sabrina Carpenter explains. "But it's not the Wexicans' fault that this happened to him, So, we need 2 Save Wexico." It gets like really serious and sabrina carptener gets a really serious murderous look on her face. "By Killing Derek Aberdeen." CC's like you know what hell yeah. "Alright gang, follow me," Sabrina carpenter leads them to a Bouncy House. "Let's Bounce." she says it 3 times. thens he bounces off to wexico!!!!!!!!! They bounce into wexico, and dream wanders off because he saw an of age they/them baddie. Everyone's calling after him because they need to regroup to discuss their assassination plan, but Suddenly, a NUKE hits him. everyone stands in shock as they watch the nuke absoluetly decimate him and the area surrounding him, but by Minthe's Grace, the nuke leaves Sabrina Carpenter & CC & dsmp co other than dream unscathed .
"Wow, I can't believe Derek would NUKE wexio. We realy need 2 Kill him Now," Snapchat says as he hits a blinker. he breathes out the smoke, covering everyone in a fog.
When the fog clears, Derek's eyes glow red. Back at the United States, Derek is pacing around the Oval office cause hes the president. "I NEED to get my female wife back," he grumbles angrily. "I need a private investigator!" He picks up the phone and calls up a private investigator.
"hi," LIGHT Yagami greets Derek through the phone.
"Light Yagami, I need you."
"I'm not gay."
"no, not like that. I need you 2 find my wife," Derek snaps. "FIND HER"
Light goes to find them. He goes all around the world to find them, and then after a long time, he finds them in WEXICO. sabrina carpenter & CC & dsmp co are trudging through the deserts of wexico .
"i feel so bad, i can't believe dream died. How is he going to record his next Manhunt?" CC sighs sadly.
"What they don't know is that she's gonna be in her own episode of Manhunt," Light Yagami mutters to himself sneakily as he watches them behind a large penis shaped rock. Sabrina carpenter holds out her hand in front of CC,
"Wait. guys do you hear that......" CC whips their head around, looking around. theyre like nervous and stuf. Light yagami quickly hides behind the penis. rock. blushinggg.
"W-wow... ididdnt KNow they were a They/Them Baddie......." he gasps, his heart racing as he stares really weirdly at CC from behind the peener. "i- I think I;m in Love......>" and then he pops out and he tells them all about how derek hired him, but then he says, "um actually i want to help you now i didnt know you were they/them".
Sabrina Carpenter: "We dont need you, youre freaking evil. youre the freaking Kira"
Light imagay: ok. yeah . you got me... but . I can help you with your plan. ok? i bet you didnt know that . there are Plans. Plans to kill the princess of Wexico....
"Well he did nuke it so like i guess we could kind of infer that idk," Gorgenotfound says.
lilght am i gay "Ok SYBAU gorge i mean like . assassination plans from someone not derek aberdeen. like theyre affliated with him ig but its like someone else ok??? so stfu because you dont know anything and youre gay and you look like a freaking labubu an d only marcos would like a face like that and you dont even have a labubu bf or girlfriend or theygriend or even a freaking friend like marcos' actual labubu AND youre naked. "
George looks down panickedly, "No the FREAK im NOT", he says defensively, brinign glight to the fact that he is indeed wearing clothes and is nto naked.
Light yagami: I was referring to your labubu
CC: me when im french and i hurt myself
everyone claps
Sabrina carpenter shakes light yagami, gripping his shoulders, "TELL US ABOUT THE ASSASSINATION PLAN AGAINIST PRINCESS ZAYDA ZADA !!!!!!!!!!"
zayda zada
Light yagami: idk
"Whatever !!!!! we need 2 warn her!!" CC says. they all make their way to Zayda Zada, the princess of Wexico, 's cAstle. to warn her about the assassinatino plan b4 it's 2 Late. But when they arrive, they are greeted witha shcoking sight. a Really ugly twink with black and red hair is standing over zayda zada, holding a spear up to hear neck as he pins her to the ground. he also has really disgustingly pale skin.
Zayda Zada: Zayda Zada
Sabrina carpetner reaches for her gun , but it's MISSING !!!!!!! 99999999999 shots hit Vox straight between his eyes , all 99999999998 of them, the other one goes up his bootyhole. CC blows the smoke off the gun she stole off of sabrina carpenter's holster. "heh, light work," they mutter
"Me work?" Light yagami asks, confused.
"No"
Vox is dead on the floor bleeding out POOP because he forgot to douche.
Thank GODDDDD
"Zayda Zada!! theres a plan to assassinate you!!" Snapchat worriedly informs her as he blows out an O ring. "did you think that was realy cool guys"
CC rushes to zayda zada to help her off the ground, "are you okay??"
Zayda Zada: zayda zada
"God Zayda Zada you're so beautiful with your two pigtails and four teeth," Sabrina Carpenter blushes as she helps lift her off the ground. Sabrina Carpenter leans in close and whispers in Zayda Zada's ear, "Leave Hades for me, together, we could rule Wexico, and More....."
Zayda Zada: Zayda Zada
BANG !!!!!
A bullet races past Light Yagami, barely brushing his ear, (OOOOHHH TRUMP REFERENCE). He turns to look behind him, in shcok, and its like in anime style. BehindHIm: stands a tall ugly figure.
"Hello, CC"
"D-Derek Aberdeen?!" Gorgenotfound cries out, as he bleeds on the floor clutching his chest, where the bullet had hit him. and then he dies.
"NOOOOOO GROEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Streams snacphat as he pulls the vape out of his mouth mid blinker. tears stream out of his bloodshot eyes.
"Did you miss me?" Asks Derek as he walks closer to CC lifting up her chin.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!" CC yells as they slap his hand away. "you ruined my life by killing my friends and your father kidnapping me!!!!!!!! I hate you!!!!!!!!!"
"My father didn't kidnap you, Baby. You were Sold." He whispers. "To One Direction."
Eveyerone GASPS
CC covers their mouth . "What?! But he did ! HE killed my mother and - I - I remember.... I was a baby... and he took me..."
"No, your mother ... is still Alive."
"N-No.. this can't be ....." CC panics. What? Their entire life was a lie ?? Kind of . What ?? THey were sold?? Toe One Direction? Harry styles in there. and that's Derek's dad. Wait. Hold On. Im scratching my cooch rq. Okay. Uhhmm. andddd digging in my Butt.
"Yeah -" Derek explains, but mid way through, he FALLS to the ground, and Blood spews out his head.
"OH MY GOD !!!!!! WHO KILLED HIM??" CC cries out.
"I did," A pink figure says.
The figure . that was pink. Was..
PERSEPHONE???????
from the Hit cookboook?? The official lore olympus cookbook???? gasps everyone
Persephone enters the room, the sunlight making her pink skin an even more nauseating color. "You Killed my mother!!" CC yells out in a Rage.!
"CC, I am Your Mother."
"WHat?" Eveyron gas
and by everyone, i mena sabrina carpenter and cc and snapchat . and light and zayda zada.
"N-no>..! This can;t be ... You-re not -" CC sobs
Perseophone hugs CC. "I am.. I birthed you .. from my own egg." She rubs CC's back as CC sobs into her shoulder. Suddenly, Sabrina Carpenter yells out,
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!" As she runs up behind CC and knocks a gun out of Persephone;s hands but then she falls backwards onto the ground, bleeding out.
Zayda Zada: zayda zada (translation: NOOO!!! SAbrina Carpenter, I LOVED you!!!!!!!!)
Sabrina Carpenter mutters her last words, "Zayda...... Z-Zada....." and then she dies.
CC pulls away from Persephone's tight grip that could hardly be called a hug because she has no love inside her.
"Are you ready to die Persephone?" Light Yagami seethes and he holds up his death note, pen Ready. he writes downs down her name (persephone).
snapchat hits his vape and does a Dragon exhale, covering the room in a thick smoke. After 6 minutes and 40 seconds, the smoke clears and Persephone is dead on the ground. Zayda Zada is open mouth coughing and she coughs out.........a Book? the LIFE BOOK???????? She opens the book and she writes down Sabrina Carpenter's name, and in 6 minutes and 40 seconds, she comes back to life !!!!!!! they kiss and they run out of the palace, to elope.
"Wow... I can't believe it .. We Saved wexico!" CC jumps up and down and goes yayyyyyyyyy
Light Yagami: Now that there's nothing stopping us.. Would you like to - maybe get a cup of coffee? He asks CC nervously.
CC takes his hand and smiles, "I would love that."
"Aww how Cute," Snapchat says smiling, but then he starts to cough. Turns out, he hit one too many Blinkers and he coughs and chokes to death.
THE END
made with @crusty-white-dog
