Give Me Fire

Zoë Isabella Kravitz. [Not Zõe, rp proposes only.]

[mon1sm]

[zcekravtz]

skarsbillig​:

Hey listen in some cases the liquid courage helps. Though now that I really think about it, fair point, most of the time we do dumb shit while drunk. What have you bought sober? You know what.. you’re slightly right that I’m jealous over this. Then I realized I could just Google a Pennywise cutout and carry that around; people will leave me alone in most cases then. Or maybe I should just walk around doing the Pennywise smile. I don’t give a fuck really. Yes they do, they love to bullshit. But before I let you borrow my bullshit button like the good friend that I am; I wanted to know what was going on and all that. You’ve disappointed me Zoë! Then Jason can tell my dad at the premiere of their new movie what his son said. Fantastic. 

Having liquid courage doesn’t mean some of the stuff it gives us courage for aren’t dumb. Dumb is good, from time to time, don’t get me wrong. I once bought a barrel of mayonnaise as a prank and I was sober. You underestimate how much people loved you as Pennywise; you go do that and call me if three seconds later you need to get rescued from a herd of fans waiting to get a picture with you and your cut-out. You could go out as him, make-up and everything, chase people and you would be celebrated by it, I have no doubts in my mind. Can’t you, as the great friend you undoubtedly are, let me not re-live bittersweet memories and just lend me the button so I can call myself out? You started it and Jason wouldn’t do that, he’s too much of a sweetheart. Now me, on the other hand...

[andibear]

[zcekravtz]

annaken​:

…yes. Hey, no shame in drinking by yourself! I can’t count how many times it was me and my cat Norma at home, chillin’ with a bottle of wine or beer or whatever ungodly concoction I can create with the remaining liquor I have. Whenever I’m drinking with others I, uh, make less than wise decisions. Sometimes it’s just better to contain that chaos to yourself. I think we should capitalize on this. Actress-slash-singer-slash-business-mogals, the world won’t know what hit’em. 

Careful m’am, I blush easy. I am sad to say I am not as cool as Beca. Oh shit, jackpot! I will love him forever and I’ll bring him with me everywhere in case I get the opportunity to meet Danny in person. I think we could easily fix half the world’s problems with more dancing lobsters. You’re over here living in the year 3000 with these ideas! I have danced with my lobster gloves on more than one occasion.

She has a cat she drinks with and the best sense of humor I’ve seen. I see you. Maybe you have become my own hero. What’s your favorite drink? Is it wine? Well, we are opposites in that regard, you an I. I try to be a bit more conscious when I’m drinking with others in case anyone needs to be taken care of, try being the key word here. I would love nothing more than to be your business partner in this new career path, so I am in. We just need to come up with the perfect name and pitch it to someone in Palo Alto.

Good, my job here is done then. Agree to disagree, I think you are cooler than Beca. She does have the whole music producer thing going for her, which I dig. I could even get you a pocket size Danny DeVito for when you have to travel, because the DeVito cheer should be shared. I knew you wouldn’t fail me Anna, sounds like you have the best time in the kitchen and I’m only a little jealous. 

[zcekravtz]

anyataylxrjoy​:

I know, I know, but lord knows it’d have to be a place with no cell reception so I’m not hovering over my phone. Oh, an island getaway does sound nice, but only if you’ll be my cute companion. Of course there’s nothing wrong with a quaint cottage, perhaps in northern England…Zoe, you hold too much power over me. A few words and I’m dreaming about my next vacation.

That can be achievable. Both no cell reception and me being your trusting companion during your vacation. I promise to use this power wisely and for good if you promise to at least consider the vacation. Us, a cottage by a lake, reading and playing board games. What else could we wish for, Anya?

[zcekravtz]

colindcnoghue​:

I love sharks, I think they’re amazing creatures. Am I terrified of them? Yes. Do I believe in saving the sharks and putting cruelty towards them to an end? Yes. The ocean is their home, humans are the invaders. No such thing as shark-infested waters. Submechnophobia is basically just what the Jaws animatronic is. I don’t like well crafted animatronics. The ones they sell at halloween stores are the only ones that don’t bother me. I can’t do the whole different dimensions, end of the world thing, as interesting as it can be. I never heard of Chuck E. Cheese before I moved to the US for the first time, but I took my son there once and never again. Those animatronics scare everyone, why even have them? Why would you adopt one and take it into your home? 

They are majestic creatures and like every other species in this vast and doomed world (except mosquitoes), they deserved to be saved. I will remain terrified of them and their animatronic counterparts, especially the later, they operate on computers and we all know they will cause our downfall if we don’t do it first ourselves. Are you a big halloween fan? Oh, I had existential dread for at least two weeks so it’s safe to say, dimensions and end of the world is not my thing either, but I got there. I am somewhat jealous that you didn’t have to grow up seeing those commercials of that rat, it was terrifying. Beats me, why would you program them to sing anything? Humans are a strange species I have decided can not be understood. 

[zcekravtz]

skarsbillig​:

Sometimes alcohol is a wonderful thing in the grand scheme of things, depending on what it is, of course. Shopping on Amazon is questionable when drunk as you’ve figured out for yourself. That’s because your Danny DeVito cutout is not an actual patron of the world. So the airline had a right to deny him a seat. But maybe if you’re feeling fancy you can take a private plane with your Danny DeVito cutout and bring him with you to work. Problem solved. Whoa, who do you have to use the button on? Least of all.. why on yourself? What did you do now? I’ve always wondered what your mom tasted like in potato form. 

Is it? Most of the time it makes you do dumb crap, but you have a pint. It can be fun. To be fair, I have done really questionable purchases whilst sober, so I can’t entirely blame that one on the alcohol. My Danny DeVito cut-out would pay a ticket, you’re just jealous you can’t have him. You know private planes are not my thing, I’d rather never have my last attempt of a Summer of Love in France with Danny than polluting 14 times more than I would if I took a commercial flight if I can help it. People love to bullshit. I don’t appreciate your accusatory tone there. Warranted, surely, but not appreciated. I’ll tell her and Jason you said that. 

[zcekravtz]

twhiddlestonsx​:

Jesus. What did you drink last night? I’m sure those texts made people’s days, and you can never go wrong with a trip to France. France is one of my favorite countries, if I could maintain my acting career and live there, I would. So, wait. These potatoes are edible and real? Now I want to order some for my mum. That’s an amazing idea. You should go to France, really. I wouldn’t cancel that trip unless you’ve got some professional obligation. Take Danny Devito with you. The dumbest Amazon orders I’ve made were gag birthday gifts I’ve gotten for my costar, Chris Hemsworth’s, birthday the other day. He’s gotten matching keychains and Thor’s hammer, Mjölnir, but as a bottle opener. He’s gotten better gifts along with it, though. If I were you, I’d save those fannypacks and if you ever go somewhere with a group of friends, like Disney or wherever, bring them and everyone can match. 

They really, really didn’t good sir. I’m certain at some point I texted my mom a link to an article on a firenado dated August 2020. France is one of the most beautiful countries I’ve ever seen. The countryside looks like a complete dream soIi don’t blame you. Maybe in the future, never say never, right? You could easily spend half of the year there, reading scripts, maybe writing your own stories. Yes, they are a real thing. I don’t know how they work, but they promised me real personalized potatoes. I may only delay the trip, a friend of mine offered to come along and who can say no to a trip to France with your favorite people, right? Okay, but those are sweet purchases, Tom. It doesn’t count if the purchases are thoughtful and funny gifts for a friend. I like your train of thought, though. You seem like a nice friend. 

[zcekravtz]

tylerseggyx91​:

That would be the best invention though. Woah every Danny Devito item?! How many does he have….that’s so odd, but take pictures with the cutout, make him go on a cool vacation or something. I’ve bought some weird things on amazon when bored. I bought this splash pad for my dogs a couple years ago, right? Seems normal, but it was for a frog, it was like for ants it was so small. How did I even do that.

Finally, someone recognizes my visionary input, thank you! I remember a while back there was an app that made you answer a math question in order to access your phone, but are we really gonna act like there are no ways to cheat that? Next time I go to Hawaii, I’m bringing him with me. I could also go on a carriage ride in Manhattan with him, he’d like that. Please tell me you got a frog for the tiny splash pad.

[zcekravtz]

kaniehtiioh​:

That’s a lot of stuff to unpack here. Especially the ‘texted people really dumb shit’ part of it all. Except we’ve all done that the texting part. Listen Danny DeVito is a treasure so I don’t blame you for these purchases. And I was about to ask you why you needed a cutout of Aquaman at your house, but it’s Aquaman, so reason enough. As far as shopping on Amazon drunk, I bought Cards of Humanity.. like all the packs. So that was great. Now I just need to play it drunk to make to more of a valuable asset in my house. 

Oh, you have no idea. I really shouldn’t be allowed to operate a phone when there’s alcohol involved, I was so close to breaking my phone when I ralized what I did. At least I don’t feel so dumb if you tell me I’m not the only one who has done it. In my defence, I haven’t seen Jason in a while and my dumb and drunk brain missed him, so I guess now I have a cut-out of him I can terrorize him with.  Wait, that one is fun! Have you played since you got it? If you ever need a bad influence who knows how to go on deep dives on Amazon, let me know and I’ll help.

[zcekravtz]

skarsbillig​:

Did you do this all in the span of ten minutes or an hour? If we get down right to it, we can all do some serious damage on Amazon in ten minutes without a care in the world. Why would you cancel your trip to France? Are you worried about the potatoes with your mom’s face on them? Or are you worried that your Danny DeVito and step-dad cutouts won’t know what to do without you while you’re gone? As far as dumb purchases go.. I bought a bullshit button because with all the siblings I have it comes in handy. Dick move possibly to have that around but whatever. 

You are asking me as if I remember much, Bill. I just know I woke up to the confirmation and a poorly-made quiche drunk me decided to do for my hungover self. Mostly work, but you know me, I cannot stand the idea of leaving my most prized possession, Danny Devito behind and they wouldn’t let me bring it on the other seat, I asked. I might change my mind though. Well Dick Skarsgård, I may need that button from time to time if you’re willing to share, I could use it on some people. And myself. I can give you a Lisa fry in return.

[zcekravtz]

jnnlwrnce​:

Wait, wait wait. You were drunk and I missed it? Zoe, honestly. I’ve never been more upset in my life. Please tell me you had least had the best time and you’re feeling adventurous and want to go out drinking again soon? Don’t cancel the trip to France though. Just add an extra ticket and I’ll go with you. We can live our best lives eating all the French food the country has to offer. I could always use a Danny Devito fannypack. Just give me all the things you don’t want.

In my defence, I couldn’t find you anywhere and I really needed a drink, Jen. I tried calling you when I was already halfway drunk, but I might’ve called someone else and that makes me sad. Not the best time, but it’s always a yes to seeing you under any circumstances ever. Jennifer Lawrence, are you suggesting we have a romantic trip to France? Because I’m game if we can do St. Tropez a couple days. No, you are getting your own Danny Devito kit, with a pillow and a candle because I love you and I miss seeing your face. 

[zcekravtz]

annaken​:

Firstly let me say that you are my hero, but I have a lot of questions. In particular, how is there a market for potatoes with faces on them, but not phone breathalyzers? I’m shocked, astounded! Lord knows I need something like that to keep me from texting regrettable shit. 

Those cut-outs and the Devito fannypack though? Perfect drunk purchase. I will happily take one of those fannypacks off your hands. My dumbest Amazon purchase I made when I was drunk and re-watching the Amanda Show. You ever see that Judge Trudy skit, with the dancing lobsters? Well I thought it’d be a bright idea to buy these lobster oven mitts I found on Amazon. They’re admittedly terrible and I never use them, but I still have’em in my kitchen. 

Was it me drinking alone on a Tuesday or my love for Danny Devito that earned me my hero status? I gotta know so I can keep it up, Anna. Dude, I don’t know! It’s a bilion dollars idea. You’re over the driving limit, that means you can’t either text or go on social media. Only emergency calls and your camera. But yes, personalized potatoes are a thing, we truly are living in the future.

Thank you, I appreciate the validation always. And just because I’ve liked you and have had a crush on you since Pitch Perfect, lowkey, I will add a Devito cut-out to your fannypack offer. Wait, your order sounds so much fun, I miss those dancing lobsters! Now I want a lobster suit. Have you done lobster-shaped cookies with your lobster oven mitts while listening to the dancing lobster song? It would be the pinnacle of happiness, Anna. 

[zcekravtz]

mewinstead​:

Nobody really bats an eyelid at you, anywhere. I’ve seen so many people dressed completely out of the norm, people singing and dancing in the street, it’s like everything’s permitted, nothings too out of the norm for it. A thong and a Santa hat? Bold. He probably did it in July because in December his junk would fall off. 

I don’t know if the weirdest, but it’s certainly up there. Oh no, I could never be a rock star. People jumping at you and trying to kiss you? No thank you.

It’s the best place to be yourself without feeling judge, 90% of the people in here are out of their fucking minds and I love every second of it. We do have naked cowboy as one of the city’s biggest attractions so that tells you where the mindset is at. I’m pretty sure he didn’t know it was the middle of July, but it was deeply appreciated to see such jolly spirits. Nothing says Christmas like an old dude in a thong.

To be fair, men idolize Ramona so much I wouldn’t be surprised if someone has dead ass proposed to you in the middle of the street. Exactly, it’s terrifying. I mean, I lived with it all my childhood, it’s wack. I still don’t know how they do it.

[zcekravtz]

Whoever can figure a breathalyser for your phone will become a billionaire. Today I woke up and found out I had not only texted people really dumb shit and had bought plane tickets to France, but I had also ordered 30 potatoes with my mom’s face on them and every Danny Devito item I could find on Amazon, including a cutout of him and one of my step-dad. So... if anyone needs me, I’ll be making fries for about a month and having deep conversations with my Danny Devito cutout while trying to cancel my trip to France, living my best life. 

This is where I ask about the dumbest Amazon orders everyone has make, drunk or not, and if anyone needs a Danny Devito fannypack, because my drunk brain thought I needed three of those. // @tftmstarters​

[winniehollings]

I was walking back to my apartment this afternoon after getting a cup of coffee with a friend and all of a sudden, from the opposite sidewalk, I see a guy pointing at me and shouting, and I shit you not, it was the loudest scream ever, “Bread makes you fat?!”.

Man, gotta love living in New York, right? Hi, I’m Mary Winstead. And yes, I am the one who broke it to Michael Cena, bread does make you fat. @tftmstarters​

[zcekravtz]

Living in New York is the best, I love it here. You could be the weirdest person in the planet and find a place and a crowd for you, it’s so cool. One time I saw a Santa wearing nothing but a thong and a hat wishing everyone Happy Hanukkah in July and I still think about him every week. 

Is that the weirdest encounter you’ve ever had with a fan? I don’t know how guys deal with it, teenage girls in love with rockstars terrify me.

[dnrads]

I know we all fall down those YouTube rabbit holes and sit for hours, but has anyone watched theme park videos about submechanophobia? It’s basically the fear of man-made objects submerged in water, usually large animatronics. It’s absolutely terrifying considering animatronics unnerve me as is, but I can’t stop watching these research videos about it. What are some of your favorite rabbit holes to fall into on the tube? Give me something new to be unsettled about.  @tftmstarters​

[zcekravtz]

youtubListen, I love the sea as much as any Venice girl who spends as much time as she can in Hawaii , but what’s down there terrifies me so no, I have not seen those videos. The Jaws animatronic was enough for me to say ‘nope’ for the rest of my life. What kind of animatronics are we talking about here? Unnerving Youtube rabbit holes... I’ve seen too many videos on black holes and what would actually happen if humans just... disappeared out of nowhere. I have seen people try to rescue and refurbish animatronics from like, Showbiz Pizza or Chuck E. Cheese, they are out there programming them to play their favorite songs... creepiest thing I’ve seen and I’ve seen some messed up shit.