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@zecca
Miss the way you tug my hair Miss your lips around my tits Forbidden fruit all I can do is stare Life is seldom fare Don't want to fight you and fuck you How Could You Treat Me So untrue? Those things you said Wanting to rip my heart to shreds Here I am again broken and bruised Nothing left to loose Smack my face if you want to Take it out on my body
I just wanted to be a part of your life I just wanted to feel like a priority I can feel you still playing games with me I am fucking angry You know that That means I won't see you at all You dont care to hear my grievances You made friends with my enemy You let your friends tell you who I was I would have given you anything A baby, my hand Fuck am I glad it didn't go that far I was accepting of your every fault You had nothing but criticism and scrutiny I would never want to hurt you make you feel less You did all this without a second guess Always reminding me how very unimportant I am Why is this who I love? Maybe somewhere I still feel like I deserve punishment Maybe it's because this is the way my family felt Maybe I'm just a masochist But I truly can't tolerate this & I've lived through some shit I've never felt more insignificant More than willing to admit it's my role in it all. It just goes to show no matter how much healing I've done how easy it is to fall.
In a Perpetual state of wait.
Self
He says I make him feel like a teenager I confess kissing him is not a labor Someone who I can enjoy For how long I will never know Each minute I dont want to waste Thinking about our inevitable fate
Sticky feet
No matter what I do The bare bottem of my feet Sticky with something sweet Reminding me no matter what Where to scrub what you ask You will always be thought of last Dosent matter who This has been my whole life threw I just want to be able to lift my own feet from the floor With out asking whats this for Whos done this Crickets. Crickets. Thats what I get Every once and a while I am untitled to a fit I hate this shit And dont tell me its all the same You dont have a clue What I have been threw You dont know what that even feels like My 14 year old is like a toddler My worries and yours cant be compared Why is that always what it is about You drained the tub And let the baby slip away And thats where I will stay Sticky feet is just the way it is.... The way it will be for the unforseen future Something I know It's time i let go
I thought I was a part of the gang. I am more and more realizing I was just the taxi.
Self
Those guys are not for your protection, it's to protect those in government that wish to assassinate you for what they find justice, simply because you had that gun.
Self, gun news
Impressed myself with this Cigarillroll ™ (yes I am coining that phrase)
Self
The sweet stench of punk rock under my pits... Mike Dillon is the tits
Joush
He shared his cookie Told me that he misses my heckling We have never gotten so close again Not sence that beautiful chill night Where things were just right With the patterns and stars above I leaned in for a partial hug I'm not sure if it was the nip in the air But I've seldom felt such warmth to compare I wish you would open up your heart I felt you once did just next to me that's all I needed. but it went at fast as it existed. And everytime we talk I tell you I miss it...
Cancelled on and ignored more I know this can't be what the rest of my life has instore. This is also not my best self. I know I still have some wealth Only passer threws with nothing else to do. Will I ever find true company? My kids are the best three will ever be. But are still dependents With just me it makes for feeling more alone. Not just in the bad times but more so in the good. They will always be my reason But it would be nice would be no nice to have someone to listen It would be nice to have someone to share with This is something I've dearly missed.
I am so afraid of heights That's what makes them so fun
Self
I can not hide This is eating away my insides. Frozen in time Out of oxygen They say to put your mask on first But few have been in site. So thirsty but I must continue to hide I'm not ready to face there little faces I can't let them see me so beat down Unfortunately it's a shared feeling I can't add to that But feeling alone is something that is inevitable when you feel the world does not have your back. I must hide my suffering Something I couldn't be more shit at. I want badly to lay down and die That's it not an option to me That's not a great way to live But I will be damned As I already am If anyone else would fight like I do protect mine. As I've been told, no bruise no assault. I'm badly bruised in this boxing match So I will face it all Until I these kids grow tall
Oh how painful it can be To be as dumb as me Just enough to know it's there. Just enough to cause dispair Take me from this place My eyes play tricks in my face If I could only become less aware This would be much less of a nightmare
Cold Hungry and Lonely
This poem same as many before No help in site No friends to be seen Some come around Some can be found But not anything deep Not even something tangible I've got my kids they send mad love Also they know there is something missing I can't go on like this They are not friends They are dependents Who I love with all my heart The reason I go on with each tormenting day The reason I don't have a choice. Cold, in pain, depressed, purging friendships for not helping. I don't need much. I just want some fucking company Do some fucking brunch or so shit Be like the rest of them. With all of my burdens I don't know if I will ever be. I don't see serenity in my destiny.
Oh jealousy Why wouldn't he want the younger model? This old jalopy is hardly hanging on day to day? Hardly the choice most would make. A risk I'm glad I didn't take But whyyy do I end this way? Howww do I now see this keep happening? I've seen that look in his eyes before. But some how never more.
Another day Another day of stomach pain Another day of not knowing how that's spelled Another day of constant questions being yelled at my face Another day of having to love the person who would do so Another day of being scared of what I might see Another day of hiding in my room Anther day of the memories Another day of loneliness Another day of making it worse by blocking anyone who comes close Another day of not wanting anyone to see my current state Another day of feeling it's too late Another day of expectations tarnished Another day Another month Another year I am still here