Excerpt taken from ‘The Diary of a Social Butterfly’ by Moni Mohsin
‘Ek to so much of thinking i’v tau no such luck.e been doing, na, so much of it, keh mujhe lagta hai as if i’m going to get a brain haemorrhoid. I’ve been popping Lexxos (oho, baba, Lexotnils) to relax my nerves, but not a jolt of difference they’ve made. must be fake, do nmber ka maal. As a result all of last week i’ve spent in such kush makush keh jiss ka koi hisaab hi nahin. Now I know how poor old General Mush must have felt when Bush called him on 9/11. Decisions, descisions, decisions! But atleast for him the writing was on the ball, meray liye to no such luck.
Kya hua hai? Uff, taubah, dont you know? Janoo’s friend Habib-bhai, Fida Ali, architect nahin hai, from Karachi only?-well, I heard him overtalking of something called ‘minimalism’ at a khaana the other day. Apparently it the ‘in’ look of Kamras and gardens, vaghera, in which dunya ka sub kuch hotay huay bhi you have o pretend that you are bhooka nanga and have nothing. So your drawing and dining should have only one or two pieces. No glass-fronted almaaris stuffed full of jahezi silver, no Begumi piles of multicoloured silk jamawar cushions, no big-big landescapes in big-big golden frames, no chandi layers, no jhoolas and Sindhi furniture, no cut-glass vases and bowls, no porcelain figurines, not even Lladro from Harrods. Curtains cant be swagged and fringed anymore. They all have to be linen and cotton, should be rolled up and put in the godown. (Now that mine has goat su-su stains on them, thats just as well, vaisey.)
And if you still have all that ethnic painted furniture, then tau you are a total loser and should retire to Sharkpur where all the losers like janoos relatives live. Â But if you with it and cool, then you should have a nanga floor-but only if its wood or limestones. Chips must be immediately uprooted. Prints are out. So no paisleys, and flowers tau are so over keh naam hi na lo. Weaves are in. Dry, thorny branches are in. Walls must be white. Furniture beige. And absolutely no carving-sharving. No curtains. Blinds only. Lamps have to be discreet and modern. Like me.Â
 But what is giving me a brain haemorrhoid is what to display now. Should it be the big Gardner plate or the silver tray? I keep thinking gardener but it has flowers in the centre and flowers tau bilkul out. Then again silver is over, but one tray I think so is okay. Habib says the trick to avoiding headaches, and I suppose also to look khaata-peeta, is to circulate your stuff. Phir tau I better put the Gardener plate. Atleast it is circulate in shape.’Â
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