zelda ✿

zelda, 25, she/her i take stupid premises and write stupid fics ao3: zeldainhiding

[zeldainhiding]

happy new year! HIIY is BACK!

for all 3 people who might ever see this, I have an end of year gift for you - finally another update of How I'm Imagining You!

catch up HERE: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39385980/chapters/98566419

i'm formatting all the chat nicknames as we speak - this is not a drill

lots of love,

zelda

x

[zeldainhiding]

pumpkin soup

summary: It's Halloween. It's cold outside. And the Glow Cloud has turned orange.

Go and celebrate it - it's your civic duty.

genre: meet-cute, enemies to lovers, a little angst

wc: 1.1k

pairing: cecilos

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42772839/chapters/107450949

[zeldainhiding]

karma and girls love to bite me

summary: Eponine’s fooling herself, thinking she could have it this good with Cosette forever, right?

genre: lesbians in love, introspective, a lil comphet angst but dw it’s resolved

wc: 7.1k

pairing: eposette

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41748042

[accio-barricade]

Grantaire, gazing lovingly at Enjolras: He could kill me and I'd thank him.

Eponine, who'd heard this for the millionth time: I'd thank him too

[zeldainhiding]

did I steal this for a quote in HIIY? u kno I did and it’s FUCKIN GREAT

[weirdchristmas]

This is my version of being a grumpy old man.

[twofoursixohjuan]

Van Helsing, trying desperately not to get put in a straitjacket: don't tell anyone about this. in fact I'm not even going to tell you. just make sure you don't go to sleep. the garlic is medicine okay and it stays. you wouldn't dig up a corn, would you? CORN, Jack. guys she ran out of blood we need your blood don't ask why. I'm off to Amsterdam don't die.

Quincey Morris, showing up a week late with Starbucks: hmmm sounds like vampires to me

[zeldainhiding]

Never Leave Bossuet Alone in a Chatroom (Ever)

summary: A short, chaotic, and very very stupid retelling of Les Mis Volume 3.4.2 (Blondeau's Funeral Oration by Bossuet). Told via texts, because fuck it.

genre: comedy, found family, general cuteness

wc: 3.7k

characters: mostly bossuet and marius, significant cameos from courf and grantaire

read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41729787

for @brickrenouveations

[shamebats]

Monster/monster slayer romance but it's the monster who just wants to hug and kiss the slayer and the slayer is the one who constantly has to hold themselves back from tearing the monster into pieces, and they're both insanely repressed about it. I am LIVING

[polyjoly]

Les Mis fanfiction is conceptually hilarious because we all collectively looked at this book, which is famously one of the longest ever written, and thought, "You know what this book needs? More words."

[valtsv]

shipping fictional characters together as an adult is actually very fun and i encourage it. it is also one of the worst things you can do to yourself and should not be attempted. it's very simple really.

[valtsv]

pros of shipping fictional characters as an adult: having a more mature and experienced outlook on people and relationships actually opens up a lot of new funny, interesting, and even thoughtful ways of engaging with the concept of fictional people kissing. also, it's fun.

cons of shipping as an adult: you will inevitably form an extremely niche and personal interpretation of the relationship between your favorite fictional people who you want to smash together like barbie dolls or possibly on-fire waste disposal trucks, and become extremely annoyed by the popular fan interpretations that are bland and formulaic by comparison. but since you are also involved in the deeply cringe activity of getting emotionally invested in a fictional relationship you have no chance of being taken seriously if you complain about it, and therefore no choice but to try to ignore it and make your own content that is liked by 3 of your friends who are the only like-minded people you respect and that one account that likes everything you post anyway

[zeldainhiding]

Im loving HIIY so far, cant wait to see where youre taking the story!! But pls dont feel pressured to update it weekly. Take your time! I cant speak for other readers, but im definitely willing to wait even months to read your beautiful writing. <33 Best wish for you with your new job!

aaaa thank you so much for the message!! I am having so much fun writing HIIY, but do appreciate you being willing to wait a little longer for updates lately - not sure I'd call HIIY "beautiful writing" more than "chaotic mistakes" but I really appreciate it lmao <33

and thank you! (work is going well)

[zeldainhiding]

Grantaire to Enjolras 2:12am

Grantaire: atnifdisestablishmentatdsicnmdsm

Grantaire: watit

Grantaire: wAIT

Grantaire: antidsihfcestabsliumentarianism

Grantaire: yuo KNOW THE FWORD

Enjolras:  I wish I knew why I was awake

Grantaire: ANTIGFUCDISESTABLISMENTRIIIIIANS,M

Grantaire: lonGESTSG WORD

Grantaire: SOMTETHGIN TO DO WITAGH CHURCH POLITIFCS YOU KNOW IST

Grantaire: ANTIDSIESTABLISHMENTARISBNM

Enjolras:  oh my fucking GOD

Enjolras:  I know what you’re trying to say

Enjolras:  u know antidisestablishmentarianism isn’t actually the longest word in the English language

Enjolras:  and its barely ever been used

Enjolras:  it’s interesting because the meaning of the word is used as an EXAMPLE of a stupidly long word vastly vastly more than the actual meaning of antidisestablishmentarianism

Enjolras:  so the MEANING is more like “a long word” than “opposing the disestablishment of the church”

Grantaire: ir so smart but also such ab buzzklil

this is from my fic How I’m Imagining You… if u want some drunk enjoltaire HERE it is

[zeldainhiding]

ok but: grantaire texts enjolras about starbucks just to piss him off

Grantaire: gonna go buy a starbucks for my breakfast

Enjolras: ur saying starbucks specifically because it’s a big abusive union-busting tax-evading corporation, I presume

Grantaire: exactly

Enjolras: very cool of u. fresh. Unique

Grantaire: oooh sarcasm I like it

Enjolras: also its like 1pm?? Why not just call it lunch

Grantaire: cos it’s the first meal of my day

Grantaire: philosophically that makes it breakfast

Enjolras: but its lunchtime

Enjolras: so its lunch

Grantaire: yeah but im BREAKing my FAST

Grantaire: ergo breakfast

Grantaire: u will not win this one

Enjolras: nor do I particularly desire to do so, upon reflection

I have a full fic of this shit (and it has plot!): read it here

[targarrus]

happy 9 years anniversary to the king shit george blagden did

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

les mis fandom culture is every august 31st IF HEAVEN AND HELL DECIDE THAT THEY BOTH ARE SATISFIED ILLUMINATE THE NO'S ON THEIR VACANCY SIGNS IF THERE'S NO ONE BESIDE YOU WHEN YOUR SOUL EMBARKS I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK IN REVOLUTIONARY SCHOOL AS VICIOUS AS ROMAN RULE I GOT MY FEELINGS BRUISED BY THE LEADER IN RED AND I PROPPED THE BAR AS HE TOLD ME, "R, YOU'RE A GOOD FOR NOTHING FOOL," AND I HEARD EVERY WORD THAT HE SAID

[justgayrevolutionnaries]

Love how today is official Enjoltaire day like george blagden sir are you even aware that you made actual gay history nine years ago

[ladyminaofcamelot]

Okay, so, I wasn't going to scream into the uncaring void of the internet about this but I gotta. A lot of people have been dunking on Dr. Seward about the August 19th entry, and especially about the phrase, "These infantesimal distinctions between man and man are too paltry for an Omnipotent Being. How these madmen give themselves away! The real God taketh heed lest a sparrow fall. But the God created from human vanity sees no difference between an eagle and a sparrow. Oh, if men only knew!" But when I was first reading the book, this was one of my favorite quotes, and frankly it's not as about Seward as everyone is making it. It's a reference to Matthew 10:29, which says "are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's knowledge." (NIV) It is right in the middle of a passage about Jesus appointing his disciples and giving them both encouragement and instruction for the persecution they will face when they follow him, and you won't believe what is written only a few verses before in 24-26: "The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. "

So here we have Jesus telling his disciples not to fear the servants of Beezlebul, or the devil, because they are no greater than the devil himself, and really the devil's not such a big gun compared to God himself, who the disciples follow.

In 'Dracula,' we have Renfield serving his master who is Dracula, in similar authority structure to the devil, but he is also not to be feared in comparison to the power of the forces of good, and the verses after that even discuss the fate of evil which (spoilers) forshadows the end of the book and the character Dracula himself. If you ask me, using a scripture passage to foreshadow your entire book in such a subtle way is honestly just BRILLIANT and I love it.

Moreover, the particular verse he chose to actually reference helps to highlight the differences between Dracula (an embodiment of men's evil) and God. Seward is not bragging that he is in charge, or miffed that Renfield does not treat him as such, he is noticing a change in behavior, as Renfield often WOULD defer to him as a higher authority in the past. Seward is not illogical to think this is because Renfield has come to believe there is an even higher authority to appeal to, and is not wrong when he says that a human higher authority makes no distinction between men. Dracula does not care if someone is a lunatic, a beloved lady, or a lawyer, they are all prey to him, and he will use them to his own ends. Similarly men whose ultimate goal is to benefit themselves and make a "god" of thier own interests stop seeing others as individuals, but as means to an end. This is in direct contrast to the God who sees every sparrow that falls, and who seeks a personal relationship and to foster personal relationships between those who follow him. This is a trait shared by the crew of light in the book. They have a father in Van Helsing, brothers and sisters, and husband and wife in each other, and all love each other so deeply and tenderly, just as God cares for the sparrows, and so much more for his own people. Meanwhile Dracula has slaves he must bend to his will. He has the brides, who obviously don't even like him much. Dracula, in choosing to selfishly disregard the feelings of those he considers prey has made himself thoroughly and completely alone, and that is what makes evil so weak.

Maybe it is just Seward being arrogant, but in my understanding of the allusion, it's an expert highlight of the difference between good and evil, light and dark, selfishness and love, distance and relationship, the contrast of which is a central theme of the whole book. For let us not forget that Dracula was once a man, a man who has been twisted into the opposite of everything humanity was supposed to be, and that is what makes him so very horrific.

(Also just read Matthew 10. The whole thing lines up very well and it's super cool. Way to go Mr. Stoker.)