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@zeraaachan
abysmal - the clutter
the abyss is full of scraps and craps
about the user: zerake
they/them intp 19
rarely online extremely introverted
—"do i wanna know?"
"if this feeling flows both ways."
didn't graduate from my emo phase.
is this ur fav character? they're dead now
angst - rarely fluff sfw
a dazai kinnie and it explains a lot. ciao
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I am Abd Ahmed from Gaza, Palestine.
The war has taken everything from me and my family — our home, our safety, and our source of living. We were displaced from Rafah to Al-Mawasi, and when we finally returned, we found our house destroyed and impossible to live in.Today, we live through hunger, poverty, fear, and constant pressure just to survive. Some days we cannot afford food, clean water, or even the most basic necessities. Sitting for long hours without a single meal has become part of our daily life.Before the war,
I was studying engineering and dreaming of building a better future for myself and my family. But the war stopped my education and destroyed the life I worked hard for .
I am trying to help my family survive and find a safe, stable life again. Any support, even a small donation, can help us with food, shelter, and hope during these difficult times.
I am Abd Ahmed from Gaza. I am trying to help my family to live. We do not have any means of livelihood, and life here is expensive. We cann
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #745 )✅️
a skeleton to bury, another to make home
cw. soft smut. implicit sex. novel spoilers. top baek saehon x bottom kim soleum. cross posted on ao3.
baek saehon doesn't know why he's still holding on to his sister's skeleton. he should've buried it a long time ago.
his sister is no longer around to house him from the madness of jisan. her ribcage, a bygone artifact of the past, has long been weathered by time and the repetitive crazed rituals of his hometown—if he can even attach the word 'home' to it.
his body outgrew the brittle calcium of his late sister's bones. piece them as he may, a joint for a joint, it will not return a safe haven to a boy who learned to dread the lottery.
baek saehon is an unlucky bastard with no home. a boy who grew up to fear the day he'll draw the golden stick. and similar to how oedipus cannot make apollo's words untrue, baek saehon's prophecy is the will of jisan.
a viper trapped in a jar learns not to bite its savior, its mind preoccupied with the thought of freedom.
all it will remember is the first sliver of light—an agent sacrificed in his stead.
"what's your name?" baek saehon murmurs, mouth against a throat that holds words he long to hear. his hand snakes beneath an unfamiliar blue uniform. it burrows in the warm space between the textile and skin, the gap between restraint and yearning. fingers digging against the side of the agent's ribs in hopes of being permanently housed in the locked bones within.
sacred home beneath warm skin.
"mr. civilian—" the man who introduced himself as an agent hissed. the agent who—in baek saehon's desperate folly—embraced his role as a scapegoat with exhausted acceptance. as if to be consumed in the belly of a ghost story is a calmer, tranquil end.
baek saehon cannot understand that. and neither can he forget the obsidian eyes with red irises.
"i go by the name grapes—"
"not that. your name." baek saehon insisted, aware of the underlying desperation in the hoarse demand. "who are you?"
if he truly wishes for the truth, all baek saehon needs is to lift the medical eye patch on his left eye. let the black purple eyeball discern the agent's halo.
be it the unfamiliar silver glow of a bureau's agent,
or red. deepest shade of red. the hue of a drop of blood after the first incision. the sky before its surrender to night. the irises of ■■.
a halo that warns baek saehon of inexplicable horror. danger.
"who are you?"
a halo that leads to a single person, an entity. that individual.
him.
"just... tell me. please."
the truth that baek saehon longs for is closer to confirmation rather than admission. an ajar door in a company housing where cheerful music of a silly cartoon drifts from the gap. beyond the door is baek saehon's truth. cast aglow by the screen of a computer, nestled on a couch with a blanket and pink plush toy.
and he needs the agent—him—to open the door for him.
to allow him to slide in the gaps of his ribs. to let baek saehon's body coil around the organ nestled between the lungs. for what is a festival's gong but a distant echo when consumed by the beating of a person's heart?
baek saehon's fists curled on the coarse material of the agent's uniform. the textile crumpled, a product of an indecision whether to push or pull closer. to consume the truth or be consumed.
to be home or to be permanently lost.
but indecision can never last for too long. a viper—an ambush predator—cannot allow its body to be exposed for long, perceived by its prey. seen.
it must strike.
the first taste of the strike is intoxication. a venom that retreated in the back of the viper's throat. all consuming. intoxicating.
then it's blood. from the cracked lips of the agent's lips. an opening made by baek saehon's teeth, wounded before soothed by the tongue. any noise made was consumed by the man who follows the way home through the sounds of muffled words and involuntary whimpers. his fingers map the skin of the agent's sides, as if to trace the route that will lead furthest away from jisan.
closer. closer still.
beneath the blue uniform and pale skin is his home; not the small village in the heart of chungnam. his home lies beneath translucent skin and a bobbing throat. it will tremble each time his hand strays a little too low. little tremors for a lost boy's homecoming.
"this is inappropriate, mr. civilian—hah."
a gasp has never sounded so similar to a 'welcome home.' sweet sanctuary beneath the bones will not dissuade baek saehon from the exploration of the flesh. to reach his home, saehon's hand must first reach the dip of the agent's stomach, trace the line from the navel to the beginning of the ribs, and cup the place that holds his heart.
his mouth will leave its marks. hansel's bread crumbs to find the way home in the form of a red mark on the neck, an angry love bite on the collarbone.
and when baek saehon sheds the last of his clothes, hands on the buckles of his belt, a tear in the facade surfaced.
"baek saehon you psycho—!"
"psycho it is now?" saehon replied with a petty lilt to it. "what happened to mr. civilian?"
another gasp escaped the agent's lips. he's never seen that man in such a state of disarray before. the epitome of composure reduced to an open shirt and flushed chest.
and he's the one who did it.
there is a strange sense of glory in being the undoing of what is immovable.
try as he may to reestablish any nuance of apathy, the agent's hand on baek saehon's chest trembled—another case of push or pull.
baek saehon's remaining eye cannot help but watch in a strange concoction of awe and fascination as the agent's adam's apple moved before words escaped his pretty lips. "are you contaminated, mr. civilian?"
he wonders too.
"no."
a moment of indignation, then confusion from the agent. "then why do you—"
"i am planning to."
there was no hesitation in baek saehon's homecoming. the path home deemed him as a stranger. an intruder in a sacred temple where no false worshipper shall make his consecration. it was tight, unrelenting. as if to proclaim that baek saehon's home is not in the pale body beneath him.
in a desperate prayer, his hand reached for his. hold me as i lay myself bare. accept me as i am in the altar of your flesh. allow me in the hearth within your ribs.
take me away.
and perhaps, for once, the right deity heard baek saehon's plea. his prayer answered through fingers curled with his, a reverent utterance of his name.
he is home.
and when the final mark was left, when none can doubt where he belong, only then did baek saehon's body surrender to a will of a being higher than jisan.
ear against a chest, from within the skin he can hear the call of home.
"baek saehon."
"mhm?" he hummed, too exhausted to lift his head. too close to home to be lost again.
"i'm kim soleum."
"..."
"did you hear me? i said i'm kim soleum—"
"i know."
baek saehon is far from stupid. far from a fool. doubts blossomed when he began to hesitate to lift his medical eye patch—perhaps a subtle acknowledgement of a truth he subconsciously knew all along.
"your face is better as an agent."
"asshole."
a subtle twitch curled the corners of baek saehon's mouth. hand still lingering on the agent's sides, idly tracing the outline of a man's ribs. he can hear his blood sing, the rhythm of his breath, the call of his beating heart.
a survivor must find another pair of bones to call home.
and close to the agent's—kim soleum's—ribs, he is home.
he'll bury his sister tomorrow.
Help me so I can cover my university expenses.
I’m vetted by association I’m ayoosh gaza brother
Hello, I'm Ahmed, 23 years old. I was studying computer science at the Islamic University in Gaza before the war. I aspired to build a brigh
Hello friends, I thank you very much for your continuous support, but right now I am in urgent need of you and your help. We are now in the holy month of Ramadan, which requires a lot of expenses, and there has been a significant rise in prices.
I also need to pursue my dream after losing everything. I need your support greatly—I need more than $1,500 to pay my university fees so I can receive my certificate and apply for scholarships.
You can find the images below the post.
Therefore, I am in great need of your help. I support my family, and at the same time, I am trying to achieve myself and continue my education.
i used to dislike ho yuwon's ass but after reading past chapter 350... i regret ever hating you, baby
how could i ever hate you?????
sighs... beg me to finish em—
the left one is either a braun x reader angst, smut, or a mix of both fic
right one is a soft (??) intimate smut of baek saehon x grapes
i may or may not be obsessed with gsgw
a very scared kim soleum was here 🦌
People have really forgotten that yandere is literally a horror trope. No I don't want a "green flag yandere" I want an endless pit of dread in my stomach and also a sense of arousal that shouldn't be there
You youths have forgotten the original tomes
smash or pass?
cw. minor novel spoilers. in which baek saehon plays a game of smash or pass with [name]. a gsgw suggestive fanfic that no one asked for.
baek saehon's remaining eye screams that he'd rather be anywhere but in front of you. he'd rather take on another d grade darkness—even a c grade at this point—rather than play another round of your convoluted game.
be it kim soleum or the same breed of psycho before him, baek saehon can never truly be free. it may be a stretch but he's starting to believe that he is the least insane employee in the unethical capitalist machine called daydream inc.
"section chief lee jaehon. smash or pass?"
he definitely has to be the only normal person here.
"pass."
is that even a question? a comprehensible response is difficult with that man, let alone a whole conversation. why is he even considering this seriously anyway?
it's his turn to ask.
"that psycho kim soleum. smash or pa—"
"smash."
he did not even get to finish. you did not even hesitate.
he would've ask why would you smash that psycho out of everyone but after seeing the look in your eyes, baek saehon's left eye warned him of the possibility of a landmine.
"director ho—"
"pass." he doesn't even want to hear it. he values his life dearly.
his turn to ask. same question. "director ho—"
"smash."
"what—?"
crazy. insane. "what if that man hears you?"
"guess i'll know what does the fox say."
fuck his life. not for the last time, baek saehon wondered why he's even doing this.
"this game is stupid. why am i even humoring you..." baek saehon started, ready to quit by now. another round and he would go crazy.
"but kim soleum-ssi made you choose, right? either i entertain you," you started before a smile that resembles a certain crazy bastard formed on your lips. "or mr. braun will."
at the reminder of the pink bunny key ring that kim soleum always carry, the hair on baek saehon's nape prickled. right. this is surveillance requested by that psycho.
he'd rather play a stupid smash or pass game rather than stay with that doll that is definitely cursed.
"okay, my turn to ask again." you resumed and grinned. "that agent from jisan village. smash or pass?"
"which one?"
"agent bronze."
easy. "pass."
"kidding, the other one actually."
baek saehon pondered the question, reminded of that wimpy excuse of a bureau agent from his cursed hometown. someone who embodies what it means to be a civil servant. a kind person.
he realized that he took a moment too long to reply. "still pass."
he's not insane.
"sounds gay to me."
"shut it. your turn to answer." baek saehon snapped, a petty streak rising within him. "it's been six rounds and you've never said 'pass.' not even once."
you merely shrugged, casual and a bit too shameless. "can't help it. everyone's hot in this company."
"crazy." baek saehon muttered, he already ran out of names of daydream employees he's acquainted with. at this point he'll start mentioning darkness—
baek saehon paused and straightened his posture.
"braun."
"smash."
"are you crazy? you'll fuck a doll?"
"a doll? mr. braun is a refined gentleman and a true entertainer." you retorted much to baek saehon's disgust. from baek saehon's point of view, braun is nothing more than kim soleum's imaginary friend. that or that psycho can actually talk to a cursed doll.
"crazy. i'm done with this game. next thing you'll say you'll also do that security ch—"
"actually—"
[my, my! an entertainer can never let down a fan, especially one as passionate as our dear [name]. it may be unethical but perhaps i can arrange a rendezvous in my dressing room.]
please don't, kim soleum plead in his head once he heard the usual bright tone of his good friend. it sounds like a recipe for catastrophe. he definitely has to make it difficult for that to happen.
[why, friend! no one likes a jealous timmy!]
'it's not like that,' soleum started before he just gave up and sighed. he still has to cool down his cheeks.
tucking braun more securely in his front pocket, soleum glanced at the duo of baek saehon and [name]. he arrived a while ago, just in time to hear his name be mentioned as well as the response that followed after. after that, he decided to make his presence temporarily unknown. as a result, the darkness residing in his pink bunny key ring heard something particularly interesting.
[a darkness and a human! truly a novel concept suitable for a late night drama. perhaps—]
as kim soleum listen to the rambling of an amused braun, a certain concept popped in his mind. back in his original world, he definitely saw certain things on the internet with connection to the darkness exploration records. perhaps it is to no one's surprise but the wiki gets a lot of fanfiction.
with some definitely far from innocent.
soleum sighed once more and finally decided to join the table when other darknesses started to be named in the game of smash or pass.
kim soleum may not say it out loud but he's definitely looking at [name] with new eyes. who would've thought that there would be a monster fucker in a world of ghost stories?
the lack of fanfics in this fandom is appalling...
"i just want to go home."
what the heck was I even envisioning when I started this.
I sat down for a late night doodle and now it’s 4:34 AM.
Maybe you’ve seen posts like this before… but for us, this is not just another post. This is our reality.
There is no real safety, no stable access to food or medicine, and every day the conditions get worse.
What makes this even harder is that the donations have become very limited, and this is putting us in even more devastating conditions.
My father is still fighting to survive. He depends on daily medication, and without it, his life is at serious risk. Right now, we are struggling to provide what he needs because we simply cannot afford it anymore.
Please don’t let this become just another post you scroll past.
Stand with us. Donate and share 🙏❤️
📌🛑📌 Fundraiser vetted (#167 by el-shab-hussein & nabulsi), But we created a new GoFundMe page because GoFundMe suspended the beneficiary’s account on the platform, which put us in a very difficult situation.
scaramouche nerd agenda!!
drawing my sona in 80s (or is this 90s?) anime style
