i hate niggers
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Mike Driver
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Kiana Khansmith
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@zero5um-blog1
i hate niggers
im cumming? im fucking cumming everywher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When she’s younger she can’t decide between a castle or a garden. She’s always wanted a dress that was mature and elegant, not the frilly frou-frou explosions of lace and taffeta that the girls in her class would dream of. She wants a cake ten tiers tall, and she wants the buttercream to be so sweet her teeth fall out. She wants the porcelain bride and groom to be wearing masks, and she wants to get married on Halloween… or maybe Valentine’s Day?
Keep reading
Junpei laughs loud. Akane says thank you, but he’s the one who’s grateful -- grateful for this moment, where the air tastes like her wants and does not smell like dried and fading blood. It’s a moment out of the rest of his life, soft where everything else is hard and metal.
It’s not at all worth it for the things he’s gone through, but he’s grateful, anyway.
‘Yeah. Yeah. I guess I am.’
speaking of forever
“Oh, um, may I ask how you knew him?”
Standing there, watching as he did everything… it made her feel kinda useless. But someone did have to take care of Gab and well, technically, she had spent more time with Gab than Junpei had. But would Gab even remember that? Could dogs SHIFT? Or maybe Junpei had experienced a history like that as well. He sounded like he had been through a lot, though that was pretty much a given for any participant of the Decision Game.
“What did she tell you…? I remember some things, but my memories stop at a certain point.”
To be truthful, she wasn’t even sure how Junpei and Akane survived, or if they did at all. No, they should’ve been dead. She had killed them… 6 people and then 6 billion. But that didn’t matter now, did it? She was helping Junpei solve a puzzle. He was alive. This history was the only one she needed to think about.
“I liked working with him… When I was nervous, he helped me focus. And if I needed help, he’d be there to help me. He’d probably be able to come up with a good team cheer too! I can’t really think of anything you’d say about D though…”
Junpei starts clapping his hands with the world’s greatest deadpan.
‘D, D, they’re our team. They’re the ones you have to pick. Diana’s smart, and Phi’s slick. Sigma’s a jerk, and they all have big --’
His hands come apart.
‘-- hearts,’ he finishes, and looks over at Diana curiously. ‘No?... Yeah. Didn’t think so.’
So back to the more important things. Junpei reaches out to give Gab a pat on the head, and then he tents his hands, trying to figure out the last pieces of the puzzle. Someone coughs in the distance, and it echoes, travels all the way to where they stand.
‘Akane told me Sigma came from the future,’ he says. That’s not strictly true, but it’s easier to condense everything he thinks he knows into one excuse: Akane. She’s the start of all of this -- she can shoulder some of the blame. ‘And me and her knew him... would’ve known him. We lived to be really old and stupid, too, and then -- some things happened.’
Triumphantly, then, he slides the last piece of the puzzle into place.
‘She never mentioned you. I dunno what’s up with that.’
“Akane?” Kyle paused. There was a slight breeze, and his robe fluttered softly against the cement alleyway.
“Akane Kurashiki? Do you know her?”
There was an obvious tension. K’s moves were slow, deliberate. It could have been because he was still getting used to his new body, in this new environment, calculating exactly how to proceed. It could have been he was sizing up the stranger, like a predator about to attack.
The orange eyes of the gas mask burned in the dark like two suns. His body seemed to lose what little form it had against the shadows of the alleyway, and it was difficult to tell just where the robes ended and cement began.
“Can you take me to Akane?” the voice crackled out of the mask with inhuman distortion.
It was clear, to him at least, that something was strange. It had to have been set up. What other explanation was there, to hear that name here? Why would this stranger be waiting for him outside his clinic?
He considered asking why the stranger was waiting, his connection with the doctor, what his intentions were, but the thought left him uneasy. Even acknowledging the doctor and letting his chance to meet Akane face to face slip from his fingers left him frightened. Kyle swallowed the name “Klim,” shoving it down into the pit of his stomach.
As much as the stranger’s presence unnerved him, he needed to see Akane. That was his first priority.
“Please. If you could help me find Akane, I would be incredibly grateful.”
Incredibly grateful.
Sure. Right.
There was a part of him that had been hoping Akane had changed -- believed it, when they’d pulled each other close and exchanged rings -- but it was drowned out by the alarm bells going off in his mind. And why shouldn’t they; this was par for the course, right? She’d string him along, she’d make him feel good about herself, and then, just like that --
She’d pull something like this again.
Junpei’s spine went rigid and he met Akane’s request with silence. He looked like a man who couldn’t decide between spouting righteous anger, or turning tail and running the other way.
In any event, he chose to stand his ground.
‘Okay. Sure. You want to meet Akane,’ he spat back. He took an aggressive step forward that was not a threat, but an emphasis on his point. (His point: he was not happy.) ‘And you need to see her right away, or some junk like that. Sure. Fine.’ Another step, and the stranger’s robes were a little more visible in the darkness. ‘So if you aren’t Akane -- which you are -- who do you expect me to take you as?
‘Zero?’
And so Junpei laughed. It was a painful noise, like the spindly roll of piano wire.
‘Sorry, but I’m not gonna fall for that twice.’
🔵
There aren’t many kids in this place. There’s even less people around who care about them, so the building he finds being called a safe haven has several dozen inhabitants at best. It takes one glance around the room to know that he isn’t here -- but maybe it’s stubbornness that keeps Junpei arguing.
The mousy-looking girl does not live up to her name of Patience, and she flounces off to go check on some of the other brats wailing to be let outside. It’s probably the most polite way they can ask him to leave, but still -- but still. He decides to make himself a nuisance yet.
Junpei calls out with the wrong voice, demands the attention of a man in a polo shirt crouched over some bizarre-looking medical kit. He ignores the sinking feeling in his chest, blames it on early heartburn.
‘Hey, you! You see a kid called Quark around here?’
@ambisinistral
@zero5um
Carlos was honestly surprised to run into another familiar face - but was even more astonished that it was everyone’s nonhuman friend, Gab. The pup was looking the same, blank eyes peeking slightly through thick brow fur and tongue lolling lazily. There was no mistaking it - the little furball had followed them to Hive City!
“Gab!” he called out, a grin stretching across his face. He loved dogs, and had grown quite attached to Gab during his stay at Dcom, and even once the Decision Game began.
Unfortunately, it didn’t seem the feeling was mutual. As Carlos approached him, the old dog turned tail and began to pad away.
“W-wait up!” the blond called out, chasing Gab down the street.
Except, really: who could chase Gab down the street? Here was a dog that wasn’t breaking any speed records -- wasn’t winning any fancy ribbons, wasn’t competing in the championships. The only race he’d win would be a race against the elderly, and even that was in question.
But enough snark.
Because there was Carlos, doing his utmost to chase after a tired, dirty mutt. Junpei saw him coming from a mile away -- and he stopped halfway down the sidewalk, waiting bemusedly. His patience was rewarded when Gab came to a winded stop beside him, rolling over on to the baking concrete.
He raised his eyes to Carlos.
‘A fireman and his loyal companion,’ Junpei said, laying the irony on thick. ‘How’s that working out for you?’
‘... long time no see.’
Smooth hands, unblemished skin, cheeks without the roundness of childhood– this is before the end of the world but after the beginning of everything.It’s just as she remembers it, just as she’d left it (because she can’t remember, can’t fathom the concept of aging or the feeling of youth; she feels like she’s just left her body in another’s care).
Junpei shifts in his seat, and the sound makes her jump because she hasn’t decided what face to put on just yet. She does not feel out of her element when she wakes up in a foreign reality, nor when blood stains her dress or mars Junpei’s cheek.
Only when she looks to her left hand and sees it sparkling in the dim light of this hovel she assumes is their home, doe she worry. Her younger self wasn’t so empty-headed that she didn’t have the foresight to prepare for this– Akane finds notes in her pockets and in her toes of her shoes with addresses, names and directions.
Junpei sits up and she wills herself to move, deciding to suck in her breath and stumble on the heel of her foot.
“You’re awake, here– don’t move like that–!” She beckons him to sit back, palm on his chest while her other hand readjusts the cushion behind him. “I was so scared, you drifted off half way home.”
She has never met this Junpei, his face is more angular and his eyelids are heavier. He dresses in muted colors and wears a gold band on his left hand.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
He is not the Jumpy she knows, but he is hers all the same.
@zero5um
Junpei laughs, and when his voice comes, it is as a tell-tale croak.
‘I feel like I’ve died,’ he says, ‘And gone to hell.’
Or heaven, really. Same thing these days.
He sounds not himself. He’s got this splitting headache, but not the kind inspired by a nasty hangover -- those are way too familiar, and this is not it. It’s less like there’s a heartbeat in his ears and more just a pressure, a splitting sensation that comes and goes every time he moves. He touches a hand to his forehead, but there’s no cracks or alien technology there. Just bandages.
He looks over to his right and Satan isn’t looming over him, reading off the list of his sins and troubles. It’s just Akane.
Same thing, these days.
‘Why -- are you touching me,’ he deadpans, glancing down at the hand on his chest. There’s so much more he’d think to ask, but the prison of questions inside of him is, oddly, silent. The only question on his mind is where’s Quark. (But that’s dumb; Quark wouldn’t be in hell. He’s still way too young for that garbage.) ‘Hurts.’
He’s not stupid enough to think that intense pain means he can’t be dead. Junpei touches another hand to his head again, and he hates himself a little for it, but that’s just par for the course these days. His mouth draws razor-thin as he squints at the environment around them, and he nearly gets blinded by dazzling lights bouncing off stupid rocks scattered about the room.
Hell.
It’s not really loitering if you’re never caught.
That seems to be how the law works around here. That’s certainly not a statute you’d find on the books in Japan or the United States, but this place is special. This place is special, and that’s why he’s chosen to linger outside a building he only has some business with.
It’s not really loitering if you’re never caught, especially if the guy who owns the property is never in.
'You--’ here for the doctor, is the snide quip he’s planning to throw out, but the dude who turns the corner raises all of his hackles in an instant. Junpei stares down the mask like it personally offends him, and it does. He crosses his arms unhappily, he edges a bit away, not running but looking almost certainly like that’s what he means to do.
‘-- Akane,’ he says through gritted teeth.
‘This isn’t funny.’
@unknownvariablek
speaking of forever
When she thought about it, Carlos didn’t seem like the puzzle solving type anyways. As a firefighter, he probably solved problems quickly, but that was a bit different from playing Sudoku or something.
Gab shifted in her arms, but she held onto him, petting him lightly. She couldn’t have him running off now, especially since he seemed to be Junpei’s dog.
“Oh, I see… In D Team, I’d be working on the puzzles myself, but then Sigma or Phi would interject with their own ideas and then sometimes they’d squabble a bit… Sometimes, it was faster to just do it myself. Although I’m not very good at those sorts of things either.”
“Like Sigma…? Did you know Sigma before Dcom, Junpei? I know Akane and Phi did, and you and Akane seem to be… close, so… But I mean, Sigma was worried. And after all that happened, I understand why.”
Even if she was from a history without an apocalypse, what she’d seen already was enough for her to get an idea.
“Huh? I probably what…? What do you mean?”
He figures the implication should be enough -- fuck knows it’s the only thing he’s thinking about. But Diana passes right on by, hardly more troubled by the thought than she is by the puzzle. She was the leader for Team D -- D for Diana, duh -- and it shows.
And she’s with a guy like Sigma?
He throws a hand up and scratches his head. ‘I guess I did.’ Did know -- knew -- now know -- ‘Know Sigma before all this. Uh. Forget that other thing, it’s just...’ His hand falls to give a dismissive motion, a bit violent in his abruptness. ‘Not for real, but from that place he came from. Akane told me some things.’ And it’s best to leave it at that, to not mention the flashes he’s seen of a future that will never be --
... because Diana doesn’t seem to care.
She looks like a girl who’d be nervous just standing next to a boy. But they all knew how girls like that turned out.
‘I’ll never know how you worked with that guy,’ he sighs. He stands up and takes a step back to see what the puzzle looks like. It’s about half-complete, and totally innocent-looking. ‘Or how any of us worked with each other.
‘Zero didn’t even make us come up with a team cheer.’
“Don’t be silly.” She pries the ring from his fingers, swatting his hand away when he reaches for it again. She wipes the mysterious mark out of existence with the edge of her veil and says nothing when it stains the lace red.
“See? Good as new.” Their once priest (or at least she’d thought it was going to be their priest– it feels a little inauthentic to let a collection of pixels conduct the ceremony but they’ve already wasted too much time), now observer produces a velvet pillow from who knows where and miraculously balances it on top of Gab’s head. Gab to his credit, slips into the role of ring bearer without complaint.
Places are taken at the altar, hands are held, felt and cloth Katsune Niku plays the organ with her fat and stubby mascot fingers, while her virtual counterpart (propped up by a bible) yells the same handful of lines while they wait for Gab to stumble down the aisle.
Akane holds both of Junpei’s hands, stares up at him, and finds herself instinctively mimicking his serious disposition (she swears her mouth moves on her own and she can’t help the fact that her brow furrows in that same angry way his are).
Here they are– exactly where they’d always hoped to be, and the last place they’d ever expected to be. Junpei didn’t ask any questions, didn’t pry and didn’t second guess. He’d simply followed her and for today she allows herself to not worry that one day he might ask, doubt and decide she’d gone somewhere he didn’t want to go.
His face is ridiculous and Akane caves first, frown cracking at the corners as she tries not to snort in between her giggles.
“Stop making that face– we’re getting married!” Her crown falls over her eyes again, but her smile remains.
They’re getting married.
And maybe that does still his racing thoughts, maybe that does ease the deep tension in Junpei’s face. He keeps saying it, and she’s teasing him by saying it back -- but it’s true. It feels like that very moment when he proposed to her, and he’s worried about all the mistakes-but-not he could make, all the stupid things he could say to ruin this. But he’s not worried at the same time -- he’s something -- but he just can’t figure out what.
Elated, happy, disbelieving, paranoid. He feels a little sick to his stomach and like his head is turning over in a washing machine. It’s all too difficult to put a name to.
But they’re getting married.
Gab arrives on his stumpy little legs; he can’t make it up the stairs because of his age, so Junpei breaks away to pick him up and bring him forward. He retrieves their rings just as Botsundere Mackdaddy tells him to; the mascot priest thing stumbles over the keys on the synthetic organ, spilling over into all the wrong computerised notes.
sassy junpei is inc r e d i b l e
The downpour is torrential, but its company is comforting nonetheless; the streets are slick with rainwater. When he squints, they crinkle like black tides. The moon’s rays peek through every droplet, rippling in the puddles.
There is a chrome, analog clock at the back of his office. There is always a clock: he knows this to be a fact. The time is 1:42, and the doctor leans back into his chair, stretching his legs with a roll of the shoulders.
The clock ticks, and the time is now 1:45 — he finds himself outside of his office, arms folded, head raised high and his nose crinkled at what he discovers.
Junpei: eternally displaced, he scoffs underneath his breath.
“Hey!” the doctor’s voice tears through the rain. Aggressively, he waves an arm. “Are you desperate for a case of pneumonia!? Yes, I know, it’s all so terribly scenic—” (Pneumonia is rarely caused by exposure to rainwater, he thinks to himself…)
The time is 1:47.
“Hell—oo!? Tenmyouji?! Are you listening?! Get in here!”
Junpei is black and red against blue and white. He doesn’t suit his couch, or his wallpaper, or his tiling.
The doctor doesn’t look at him, not as he tosses him a towel and fixedly rearranges the antiques settled atop the receptionist’s desk for the third time.
“Is there any particular reason you’re out and about at…” He doesn’t glance at the clock. “1:53 AM, Tenmyouji?”
The doctor pauses, and flicks at the silver bell placed against the wooden blocks spelling out “K L I M”
“I’m certain your parents would be worried sick, were they to know.”
@zero5um
He can’t help it. The sound that tears from his throat is more bark than laugh, sudden in the silence: it’s buffeted only by the sound of rain and the hum of what must be a dehumidifier. The laugh that follows after is a little more like a cough, a scoff of some sort, like he’s forgotten to clear his throat. It makes everything more awkward than it has to be.
But -- he can’t help it. Parents -- from Sigma. Sigma and Diana. The last thing he’s trying to mention, thrown right the fuck out in front of him.
The jokes write themselves.
‘Yeah. Right,’ he replies, rubs the towel over his hair, takes a moment to contemplate how much he hates Sigma’s sense of interior design. Takes a second to think things through, and he probably sounds like he has family problems. Whatever. ‘Thanks for the concern. You’re making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.’
And it’s 1:54, actually. Point being --
‘I was trying to find you. Your office.’ At 1:55 in the morning, because fuck you, sun. ‘So I could visit in the morning. Problem is, your,’--he stops, mouths something in the way of shit--’Diana. Didn’t tell me where you guys were at. So. Here I am.’
Here he is, dripping wet on the tiles. Junpei takes his ring off to wipe it clean.
‘Does that make you feel warm and fuzzy too, Sigma?’
Akane has never been good at keeping her feet on the ground, and with the way they are it’s always Junpei who gets caught up in her tide. He’s the one who finds himself searching for some way to come down after Akane pulls up and off the floor (whether or not he’s ever actually wanted to abandon gravity himself– well, Akane doesn’t think about that, there’s no need to think about that).
The chapel doors swing open, in the corners of her eyes she can see a blur of blue felt wobbling towards them, but her attention remains on Junpei. She feels like every cliche she has built up in her mind about this day, about this moment. He has her no more than a few inches of the ground but she feels as if she’s left the stratosphere entirely.
“I can.” She nods, stands on her toes but still barely reaches far enough past the clouds to plant a kiss on his chin. “I always knew–” That if she ever lived to see this day it’d be with him.
Their priest, all decked out in her familiar gray uniform and turquoise pigtails clears her throat, stubby felt fingers coming together to form an ‘O’. Akane squints and pulls away from Junpei, arms still around his neck as she tries to decipher what their mascot turned priest means.
“Oh! The rings!” She dives into her purse, Gab watches patiently until she finds what she’s looking for. “These–!” In her palm is the ring he’d slipped onto her right hand six months ago, in her other hand is a plain gold band in a plastic bag labeled ‘EVIDENCE’ in stern red ink.
“I got it at a police auction yesterday!” She peers to the side with a slight tilt of her head, eyeing Junpei with a smile. “Among other things..”
There was something oddly romantic about it– a ring with such mysterious origins, with an untold story. The chapel is flashing neon, their priest is an unsightly blue, and his ring is a warm gold.
Of course she did. Among other things, she says, and it’s almost like they’re back on that ship that wasn’t a ship, locked in a freezer room with an unpleasant third wheel, and just talking. It’s like he’s talking to her, not that Akane Junpei built up in his mind, but Kanny, the girl who was always bullied in school and never knew why. She doesn’t need saving -- not quite as much as he’d like her to -- but she is standing beside him, and she isn’t going away.
This is no sunset hill and this is not a puzzle-filled deathtrap of alien design. This is Akane, this is him, and this is their wedding. Junpei almost feels like cheering.
And he could, he might’ve, even if that Botsune Mickey, something or other, wasn’t hovering in front of them. As soon as Akane procures the rings (and Junpei finally releases that nervous, wry laugh hovering in his chest), the mascot starts moving, patting at her padded suit. She pulls out something from around her skirt area, and it looks like a phone. And once she’s satisfied --
-- with the press of a button, she turns it towards them, and there’s a slicker version of herself on the screen. It’s one of those augmented reality things, popular when they were only kids.
‘Congratulations!’ the AR mascot declares, ‘On po-pi-po-po-po-pi-popping the question! You two are about to be wed in holy matrimony! It’s a good thing there’s not three of you, because then you would be Triple Baka! Hahaha!’ The mascot laughs. It’s a very tinny, synthetic sound. ‘So, Romeo and Cinderella! Are you ready?’
A list of instructions, much like an interactive to-do list, pops up on screen. Just below it, there’s an explosion of confetti and something like achievement unlocked. It gets worse, then.
‘First -- make sure the ring bearer is in place!’
‘Gab,’ Junpei says, looking to the dog sitting happily on the pew, shedding everywhere. ‘Should we do something about... wait.’
Without segue, he takes the ring from Akane’s hands, squinting at it.
‘Is that blood?’
speaking of forever
When they had first bumped into each other, she immediately wanted to say she had to go back to work, that Sigma was expecting her and he would be angry if she was late. But she found herself unable to, and instead she was here, watching a grown man struggle to solve a kids puzzle with a dog in her arms. It wasn’t true either way. She was off today.
“Right…”
Admittedly, she didn’t know Junpei very well, just as she didn’t know most of the Decision Game participants very well. If anything, he seemed a little scary at times and as such, she continued to simply nod and smile.
“Did Carlos do most of the puzzles for your team as team leader?”
Diana didn’t mean it rudely, but…
“I mean, if you’re not very good at puzzles, like you said, or… I think you’re supposed to work on the edges first… like the corners? They’re easier to put together.”
Admittedly, Junpei doesn’t know Diana very well, but she’s no Akane; there’s no bad blood between them, no reason he should jump at her suggestion and get angry at the sound of her voice. He steps back to consider her comment, and she’s right, anyway -- trying to put two pieces of edgeless sky isn’t getting him anywhere. Better to start with the land that frames the puzzle, like a kaleidoscope picture aimed at the sun.
‘When he could,’ he says, reaching forward for an edge piece. It’s foam, soft and harmless to the touch. ‘Carlos. He’s a good guy, but he wasn’t much better at this stuff than me.’ And they’d all had their niches, all had their weak points, and together they three got out. But it’s a wonder if they ever truly escaped. ‘He’s got a one-track mind, always -- always talking about his sister.
‘Kind of like, uh, Sigma, right?’
Junpei makes a listless gesture in the air, caring for delicacy only because it’s kind of awkward.
‘I liked him better before he wouldn’t shut up about the doomsday theories.’
Which... turned out to be true. Naturally.
‘... sorry,’ he mutters without looking at her. ‘You, about him, you probably, ah...’
You don’t say what you mean when you say I’m what you need.
As It Is // Concrete
She wrinkles her nose, originally in distaste, later in contemplation.
“This is a little offensive, don’t you think?” She says first to Elvis, then to Junpei. “But–” Because there is always something else (indecisive, open-minded, whatever she is it’s always hard to just say yes or no).
“But it’s the best option.” She nods, suddenly like she’s so sure, like it had been her idea all along. “We’ll take it.”
Elvis leaves to make preparations, and suddenly it’s just the three of them in this neon and velvet chapel. Gab raises his head to meet her hand when she reaches for that spot behind his ears, and instinctively she smiles.
“I feel like–” She turns too fast and the crown falls to one side again, a ring of plastic daisies obscuring her eyes. “He’s going to burst through the door, march down the aisle and yell at the both of us any second now.”
She sits down, Gab filling the small amount of space between herself and Junpei. The crown slides up and down her forehead with every vigorous shake of her head.
“It’s just a little sad though, doing this without him.”
There’s stained glass right above the altar, it’s the most chapel-like thing in the whole building. It’s illuminated by flashing bulbs in the shape of the word ‘TATTOO’ and Akane can’t decide if that ruins it or gives it more character.
“He’d hate this place.” And the smile that graces her features is satisfied. As if that is the thing that’s made her realize they’ve picked the perfect wedding venue.
His identity is obvious enough without Akane having to spell it out. Junpei considers her points in much the way he always does -- arms folded, eyes roaming, studying the place like there’s some clue they’re meant to find.
Like there’s some clue they’re meant to find, and when they do, the illusion of this and all that’s happening will come crashing down.
Suddenly, Junpei turns his gaze elsewhere. ‘I don’t like this place much either,’ he confesses, for all the good grumbling will do him. ‘But it’s the only option we have. So...’ So, his eyes fall to Akane, her and her stupid crown. So, Gab whines expectantly, less like a dog and more of an active conversation participant. So, Junpei sighs, and he laments the fact that they are passed June and already into July.
He’s never dared to hope but he’s always had this dream, see ---
‘We’re getting married.’ The announcement is less like a complaint, more like an awed statement of fact. There’s this sudden urge that rips into him to climb to his feet, and -- and -- so he does, grabbing Akane from the pew, picking her up in his arms for the few seconds he can manage and twirling her. ‘We’re really getting married,’ he says excitedly, a note in his voice breaking, the grin on his face dazed and bittersweet. ‘Kanny, it’s really happening.’
Gab barks and the door to the chapel opens but Junpei can barely pay attention. When he sets Akane back down, he keeps his hands on her shoulders, squeezing in silent prayer.
‘Can -- can you believe it?’