for the first time in SIX YEARS , the way his arms draped around her , the way her figure was stolen from the floor of the earth as his voice hummed through her ears , octavia blake finally felt at HOME. no longer was this a voice which was being shoved through the static of a receiver , the smile which crested on her lips was no longer strained in an effort to try to make herself feel the smallest strain of happiness. no , this was real and authentic elation which emanated from her core the instant her eyes laid upon those of the person who had been there for her through the greatest and foulest since day one. octavia facade fell into his shoulder as his voice answered the last testimonial she had ever told him over six years ago. verses she was not even sure if he received before the radio cut out. years upon years of questioning only to know all this time , that he did. that he knew she loved him. and that alone made droplets of salt water begin to stain upon his shoulder.
‘ i’m so SORRY bell ’ ghostly sounds of tearful cries could be heard among her words. while she could say she LOVED him time and time again , this was different. octavia had initiated so much agony to fall upon his shoulders at her own hand. she had wounded him PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY beyond any capacity of which anyone should excuse another. yet here he was , time and time again , holding her close.
pulling her buried face from his shoulder as to connect her gaze with that of his , eyes did their best to clear the tears from her gaze. she had gone YEARS without seeing her brother , and she no longer wanted him image blurred for any reason. ‘ i know , i know i don’t deserve your FORGIVENESS. and you have every right to HATE me until we die. but just , i’m so so sorry bellamy. ’
her arms envelope him & he feels like he could cry. he’s probably going to cry. six years without his sister is nothing he ever wants to go through again. even a moment without her is too long. he can say he’s felt slight joy these past six years : reconciliation with echo, raven with her smart mouth, monty & harper being who they are, hell, he’s even found himself getting along with murphy. emori is a pleasure to talk to, too. he never thought he’d be saying it but he doesn’t think he knows how to be without them any longer. but, he’s not felt real happiness since the day he left that bunker to get raven. he hasn’t been happy since the day he left his sister, under the ground. HE’D HEARD. of course he had heard her. she could be miles upon miles away, with no way to communicate with him, & if she said she loved him, he would hear. he would always hear. there had been times in the past years where he thought he had heard her voice, only to be reminded of the absolute loneliness that was space. he doesn’t need to see her face to know she’s crying. he knows, because he is too.
she’s apologising. why is she apologising ? his brows furrow as she continues, eyes narrowing as he listens. he’s confused, to begin with, until it registers in his mind. six years had passed & he had all but forgotten that she had tied him up, beaten him bloody in a dank cave in front of their friends. all of her cruel words forgotten, every time she had laid a finger on him forgotten. he couldn’t bare to remember her that way. with her pain, her grief, her anger. no. that wasn’t his sister. it was just a part of her. his sister had been a kind, loving girl. one who had brightened with happiness at the sight of the moon & stars. one who had stitched & sang like their mother. his sister was octavia blake, forced to grow old before her time. not skairipa. what a waste of a sweet girl. she finishes speaking, & he raises a hand of his own to wipe his tears from his cheeks, before he does the same to her. she’s grubby. dirty. he doubts she’s showered properly since their release from the bunker. must’ve been mighty dusty down there. he has scars on his wrists as a reminder of the last time he was down there. NEVER AGAIN. never again will the blakes be forced to hide in fear.
“ it’s okay, o. i forgive you. “
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