things-po

[huffpost]

What You Didn’t Learn In Sex Ed

We know that the majority of the clitoris is internal and that the external nub is just the tip of the iceberg, but you’d be hard-pressed to find that information in a sexual health textbook. In fact, you’d be hard-pressed to find many mentions of the clitoris at all in a sexual health textbook.

Learn more about the clitoris and why it’s so important to female sexuality here.

[submissivefeminist]

Condoms are only 98% effective when used correctly.

Sugar can cause infections in the vagina. This means things like chocolate sauce, honey, and lubricants with glycerin can be harmful.

Having sex with an intoxicated person is legally rape in most US states, even if the person verbally consents. In the eyes of the law, drugs and alcohol impair your ability to consent to sex.

Unprotected anal sex is the most dangerous sex act when it comes to spreading STIs.

Not everyone can climax from oral sex or even likes oral sex. Don’t assume—ask your partner what they want!

Condoms expire! Check the date on the wrapper. Also, storing them in wallets is not a good idea (see #8)

If someone with a vagina has unprotected anal sex, semen can drip down into the vagina and pose a (slight, but still real) risk for pregnancy.

Do not keep condoms in your wallet. The friction and heat exposure of keeping them there can make them ineffective. Keep them somewhere cool, dry, and out of sunlight.

You should be tested for STIs with each new partner you have. Annual appointments are not enough protection if you have multiple partners in that time.

Having anal sex does not lead to a gaping asshole unless your partner is literally an elephant.

Sex with elephants is illegal. Don’t do that.

Masturbating while wearing a condom can help people with penises get used to wearing them before sex.

Penis size does not define your worth. It is not the be-all, end-all factor for most people.

In fact, lots of people with large penises have trouble having sex without hurting their partner since the average vagina size is 6”-8” when aroused (it’s only 3”-4” when not aroused!).

Your first time will almost definitely not be your best time. That’s okay, I promise.

Herpes and pubic lice can still infect you if a condom is used if testicles come in contact with a vuvla.

Only one out of three people can orgasm from receiving vaginal penetration alone. You’re not broken.

People with penises can orgasm without ejaculating.

The muscles in a vagina can be abnormally tense and cause intense pain when penetrated with a toy, penis, or tampon. This is called vaginismus and treatment for this includes relaxation therapy and using medical rods to help the muscles relax.

The number of sexual partners you have does not define you. This rule applies to all genders.

A diet of lots of dairy and meat can cause ejaculate to taste bad. Fruits that are very sweet (like pineapple) help combat this for some people. However, due to body chemistry, medications, and other factors, it might not always do the trick.

Dental dams make oral sex with someone with a vulva safer. They are thin sheets of latex and can be home-made by cutting the ends off a condom and slitting it lengthwise to make a alternative option if you don’t have access to dental dams.

The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in it. That’s twice that of a penis! So, go gently until encouraged to do otherwise.

Sex does not have to stop when someone ejaculates. Remove any condoms or clean up any mess, and keep going until everyone is satisfied!

Communication is the number one factor to a better, healthier sex life.

The hymen is not a bone, and does not break. It is a membrane layer that stretches. It can tear, which can lead to pain and bleeding. However, sex for the first time (or ever!) should never hurt. Go slower and focus on foreplay to increase natural lubrication.

Sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Don’t worry about labels until you’re sure in your sexual and romantic interests. Explore freely and worry about terms later.

Orgasms release hormones that are natural pain-killers. This is why some menstruating people masturbate when they have cramps, because the body naturally reduces pain after an orgasm.

The hormones released also account for why some people cry or get very emotional after an intense orgasm. It’s totally normal.

There are limitless kinks in the world and so long as they are safe and consensual, there is nothing wrong with them.

Medications and mental health disorders can mess with your sex drive. Talk to your doctor if your sex drive has suddenly increased or decreased after starting a medication—there may be alternatives.

There is nothing “un-manly” or “gay” about enjoying anal play. Most men who try anal enjoy a little sensation in that area. People with penises also have a p-spot (prostate) and can have intense orgasms through anal penetration.

Always use lubrication generously to avoid vaginal or anal tearing.

Urinating after sex can reduce the risk of a UTI in people with vaginas.

Enjoying casual sex does not make you a bad person if you are up-front with your intentions and don’t maliciously seek to hurt others.

Condoms come in multiple sizes! It should never be loose or painfully tight.

Being sex-positive does not mean that everyone needs to enjoy sex. It simply promotes the happiness and sexual exploration (or non-exploration) of others.

Porn is not an educational guide to sex.

Certain positions feel better than others. Switch it up and find out what works for you and your partner(s).

Condoms are more likely to break if you don’t leave a reservoir tip for ejaculate.

Labia are often asymmetrical. Your long/uneven/poofy/dark labia are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body.

Up to 80% of people with a vagina can squirt with either g-spot or clitoral stimulation.

Drug store pregnancy tests are just as effective as brand name ones. In some cases, they’re even MORE effective.

Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.

Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight (160-175lbs).

There are safe alternatives to condoms or oral contraceptives. Talk to your doctor about your options.

Sex toys can open up a whole new world to folks willing to explore.

Orgasms can be highly psychological. Most people can’t climax when they’re upset or distracted.

Birth control can cause people to miss periods or spot in between periods.

Sex doesn’t have to be gentle if you don’t want it to be. There are healthy ways to explore rough sex or BDSM.

xx SF

[soft-sunflow3r-deactivated20250]

thank god this exists bc I just learned a shit-ton

[battbrrat]

Thank you for this gender friendly post.

[feministbuffy]

****** for number 45!!! Ella is an alternative to Plan B that DOES work on people over a certain weight and it DOES NOT lose effectiveness if you take it on day one or day 3 after unprotected sex and you can get it online at kwikmed (it is a legitimate site and ive used it and a quick google search will validate this legitimacy) 

[kateordie]

I thought I knew it all (I am a sex health nerd) but lo, I was unaware of that Plan B fact. Glad for the above ^ addition!

[hannahaltmanphoto]

"And Everything Nice" is an unflinching analysis of the standard for female beauty. The ongoing series consists of women in states of affliction; the body fluid of the models have been replaced with glitter to visualize the concept of girls invariably needing to seem attractive regardless of the actual situation.

[fyeahpositivesexuality-blog]

(http://www.genderhealth.org/the_issues/family_planning/infographic_female_condoms/) 

[stuffmomnevertoldyou]

5 Stigma-Busting Facts About Herpes

Many people who have herpes don’t even know they have herpes, and other important facts about the most-stigmatized STD.

[outforhealth]

On ejaculation:

Here’s the thing. A couple of years ago we wrote a piece about and titled “Female Ejaculation.” Obviously that’s all wrong — not all people with vaginas are female, that’s just all kinds of gendered language we’ve since made conscious efforts to not use and actively discourage. 

Okay, so then we were going to call the updated piece “vaginal ejaculation.” But:

1) On a technical level it’s not the vagina that does this, although the fluid exits the vaginal opening, it’s the urethral sponge that fills and gushes. In our attempt to fix the “female” problem, we realized we’d be making another unintentional problem of mis-locating the act on a body part in a way that can subtly further confusion and misinformation.

2) While “vaginal” is the proper biological term, we’re trying to be gender and queer inclusive, and that might not be the term everyone uses for that part, which when added to #1, well. Ugh.

3) When people hear “ejaculation” they mostly associate it with seminal fluid emitted from the penis, because patriarchy. And the term commonly associated with this kind of ejaculation is “squirting,” which is commonly associated with the freak-show tendency of non-feminist porn to represent the flow of fluid in a specific and fantastical way — which is awesome for some people, and totally happens, but gives a pretty limited image and depiction of what actually goes down (or out as the case may be. Ha).

After that battery of caveats, where does that leave us? Nowhere, really. But a good queer sex ed blog should talk about how certain pressure and touch in some people’s bodies can result in fluid leaving their bodies, and that that’s nothing to be confused of or ashamed about, because it’s actually pretty awesome.

So the following article is about what would commonly be called “female” or “vaginal” ejaculation, but for the sake of things we’re just going to talk about it as “ejaculation,” because that’s what it is. Still with us? Excellent.

This kind of ejaculation is the oft-misunderstood secretion some vagina-havers emit during sexual activity. It’s so misunderstood, in fact, it’s banned in Australian porn because the government thinks it’s urine. It’s not urine. It’s not even vaginal lubrication, 

WHAT IS IT?  Ejaculation is more similar to prostatic fluid than any of the above-listed secretions. As the lovely people at the Center for Sexual Health and Pleasure explain,

…ejaculate is the term used to describe the fluid that is expelled from the genitals of vagina-owners during orgasm.  This is different from vaginal lubrication, which refers to the substance that is often secreted during the ongoing process of sexual arousal that aids in penetrative sexual activity.

It’s a totally normal thing, though shame, confusion and google’s penchant for delivering porn results instead of medical answers may have you thinking otherwise. 

WHAT CAUSES IT? We can’t talk about this kind of ejaculation without talking about the mysterious G spot. Once and for all: the G spot is real, and here’s how you can go about locating it:

As in the penis, the… urethra is surrounded by the erectile tissue that enlarges during sexual response. This is called the urethral sponge. Normally, if you put your finger in your vagina and press upward toward the pubic mound, you would just feel the loose folds of the vaginal wall. But when you are aroused you can easily feel the urethral sponge through the vaginal wall. (source)

So when we talk about the G spot, we’re more or less talking about the urethral sponge. Generally the sponge can be distinguished from the rest of the vaginal wall by its more ribbed texture. 

Okay, you think, cool. So there is a way to cause a purely vaginal orgasm then, right? Incorrect! Because the G spot is part of the clitoral system. (You did know the clitoris was more than meets the eye, right?) A bit more explaining from Scarleteen:

Here’s the funny part, though: based on everything we know to date, it’s clear that the G-spot is PART of the internal clitoris, making argument about them as two separate parts moot… Feminist healthcare and female-centered sexologists do most frequently recognize the urethral sponge as what is typically called the G-spot, and do most frequently recognize it as yet one more part of the clitoris as a whole.

Given all the argument around the G-spot, I’m going to lean on some words from others for this one: “The G-spot (named for Dr. Grafenberg who originally wrote about it) refers to an area inside our bodies (it surrounds the urethra but we can feel it when we press up against the front wall of our vagina). Stimulating this area may lead to orgasm and/or ejaculation. To feel your G-spot, try to touch the front wall of your vagina, below your belly button. You may feel it about 1/3 to half the way up your vagina, not as high up as your cervix.”

“The urethral sponge is a very significant part of the clitoral system. Embedded in its spongy erectile tissue are up to 30  or more tiny prostatic-like glands that produce an alkaline fluid similar in constitution to the male prostatic fluid. Two of the largest, called the Skene’s glands, are near the urethral opening, where the urine comes out, but numerous others are buried in the spongy tissue surrounding the urethra. All of these glands together are referred to as paraurethral glands, meaning “around the urethra” and they are the source of [vaginal] ejaculation.” (The Clitoral Truth, Rebecca Chalker, pp. 43)

Have we made this completely un-sexy yet? Sorry. Just like not everyone gets off on g-spot stimulation, not everyone with a vagina can ejaculate. (Though Come As You Are has some tips and walk-throughs if you’d like to try.) If you want more information, a book has been written on this very subject. It’s called Gush and you can buy it this very moment if you’d like.

Bottom line, we think exploration and a kind of awed appreciation of the vastly amazing things bodies can do vis a vis pleasure is worth some words even when they might be clunky. So go forth, queers. A variety of sexiness awaits if you so wish. 

[whoneedssexed]

What is squirting? Can every1 w/ a vagina do it?

"Squirting" is the event in which a person with a vagina ejaculates with force, causing a "squirt" of their fluids.

While mostly everyone builds up ejaculate, not everyone releases it in the same manner. We’re pretty aware of the variations people with penises ejaculate, but less often it’s taught the variations that people with vaginas have.

Some do not release their fluids until after orgasm or even after arousal has begun to drop, while some release fluids with orgasm. Some release with force, such as is seen with squirting, but most people release gently or dribble it out.

And additionally, there is a range of how much fluid is released. Some release so little that it’s hardly distinguishable, if at all, from their vaginal lubrication or discharge. Some release enough that it’s definitely noticeable, whether they release it with force or gently.

It usually has some white to it, but it can be so little that you can’t tell it from your lubrication (let alone discharge).

Ejaculate is about the same regardless the genitals you have. The only difference is that most DMAB have sperm in theirs and more often produce significantly more fluid, in order to help sperm mobility. As DFAB typically do not have sperm, we don’t need the “padding” and as such typically produce much less ejaculate. Additionally, DFAB ejaculate is more likely to have urine in it, as our body does not always successfully inhibit the bladder during arousal, unlike typical DMAB bodies, and additionally our urethrae are shorter. These two factors make it much more easy for urine to leak in.

Squirting happens because of spasms in the pelvic area, often from orgasm, affecting the muscles around the urethra when it tries to release ejaculate build up. (This also makes it more likely that squirting has urine in it. The amount of urine is rarely relevant, though, as it is rarely enough to either change the appearance or smell of the ejaculate.) Because of this, not everyone can squirt, and not everyone who squirts will squirt every time. Orgasms are often unique in themselves, besides being unique per person.

Some sexperts suggest you can train yourself to squirt if you leave urine in your bladder before engaging in sexual activity, and then use your pelvic muscles to “push out” rather than “draw in” during orgasm. This is often pretty difficult to master and isn’t a guarantee to make you squirt (but it does significantly increase the likelihood of releasing ejaculate during orgasm).

As a side note, most squirting seen in porn is fake. The effect is usually produced by actors reserving fluid (such as water) in their vagina and pushing it out during orgasm or faked orgasm. This can erroneously teach people that ejaculation for DFAB people comes from the vagina, when it actually comes from the urethra (as it does for all people, if it is produced).

[zine-scrap-book]

[zine-scrap-book]

[zine-scrap-book]

[zine-scrap-book]

chlamydia, Gonorrhea, syphilis: Bacterium. Replicated on their own and taken down with antibiotics. Herpes is a virus. No cure. Yet. Hpv has a vaccine now! Chicken pox etc are herpes. 8 strains. Hsv1&2 are the stis.

[themidwifeisin]

There are a lot of these questions - so many people have trouble with their  vaginas, and there’s not NEARLY enough discussion about managing that. 

We’re told that vaginas are supposed to be tight.

We’re told that it’s supposed to hurt.

We’re told that people with penises are supposed to enjoy a “tight” vagina.

But it doesn’t have to.

First things first: Check out this post to learn about vaginismus exercises.

In addition, consider checking in with a pelvic floor therapist - you deserve a comfortable relationship with your vagina.

[bedsider]

More health care professionals use IUDs than any other birth control. Why? Because IUDs are awesome.

[pl34-of-guilty-deactivated20200]

I ordered a pair of PocketDarkroom lences today. Black, non-transparent lences to make Foxy seeing nothing, to make her blind. We should go out for dinner soon!

www.pocketdarkroom.de

Please find another post about that shit here.

█ Sir Max 💕 Fuckwhore Foxy

[zine-scrap-book]

[pusspuss87]

[pseudonymjones]

come on baby girl, flex your zygomaticus major for this greasy stranger