me and lana dey rey: *riding across the country in a volkswagen van, trying to get back to connecticut because lana’s coke dealer lives there*
me: hey lana there’s some roadkill by the side of the road let’s see what it is
lana, already used to my scavenging habits: *sighs* ok, beth. *lights a blunt*
me, going closer to the roadkill: wait holy shit….. this is lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor)…. lorde are you okay?????
lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor): yea i was just method acting for my new album, what are you doing out here
me: i’m with lana we’re getting drugs
lorde: ok it would really help if you just carried me around like roadkill for my album lana wouldn’t even notice really
me, weirded out but will do anything for lorde because i feel like she is my friend: um ok *carries lorde (ella maria lani yellich-o’connor) back to the van* hey lana……. just have this roadkill here im going to put it in the back
lana: *nostrils flare* is that…… ella maria lani yellich-o’connor i smell…
me: *laughs nervously* oh hohoh of course not miss grant you must surely be mistakening the smell of ella maria lani yellich-o’connor for this large non-decomposable bird i picked up
lana: …. that would be a good lyric…. thank you for providing me with inspiration. i agree with you, spiritually. *hands me the blunt*
lorde, arising through the back: im so glad we’re all blood sisters
me and lana: *harmonizing in our exasperated moans*
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