me reading any of my own writing: what the fuck are you talking about

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
AnasAbdin
noise dept.
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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trying on a metaphor
TVSTRANGERTHINGS

Product Placement
occasionally subtle

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
YOU ARE THE REASON
almost home

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NASA

roma★
taylor price
RMH
Peter Solarz
i don't do bad sauce passes
d e v o n
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@znahypr
me reading any of my own writing: what the fuck are you talking about
In my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been?’ I say, ‘I’ve been lost but I’m here now. You’re the only person who has ever been able to find me.’
Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)
&. @zomblight , warren : “you owe me answers. i think i’ve earned them by now.”
𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁 , 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝚄𝚁𝙿𝙷𝚈'𝚂 𝙲𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙿𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙴𝚁𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙲𝙰𝚃𝙴 ; he can feel it , ignited within at the mere sight of his former leader . the footprint of his humanity is not lost , rather locked away tight . like 10k‘s soul , hostage in his own body : a flesh-made cage , over which he no longer exerts any ounce of control .
he’s afloat , like in a dream , a nightmare . mouth sealed shut against his own will ; he stares at warren in a silent scream , begging her with wide eyes to understand — 𝒊 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 . 𝒊’𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 ! 𝒊 𝒅𝒊𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒔 . 𝒊 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 —
10k wants to tell her everything . but he can’t ! the only words slipping past his lips come from the script murphy ordered him to follow . and he’s already said everything the man wants warren to know .
&. prompt , status : accepting .
&. 𝙰𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙾𝚂
𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲; 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫, never would have thought she could one day place her trust in another — yet as she contemplates his moonlit face, she knows she's made the right choice. months spent by his side passing by with a strange speed only happiness could bring. through their love they'd both healed; the grin ‘pon his face a stark contrast to how it all started.
in her blithful laugh, traces of joy and earnestness, her face scrunching up into a grin as she bumps into his shoulder right back. “that was before, ten thousand, you need to let it go. besides, i didn't laugh, i got you with dry humor.” falsely solemn, especially with the grin upon her face, she nods. “i won't laugh at you for a genuine question, is what i meant!” there'd been countless of idioms and references she'd had to explain, some things past lifestyle had left him lacking with, and she had — with a rare patience only she'd shown him.
yet the next words coming out of his mouth leave her stunned, her face frozen into a grin she tried to supress. “i don't know, maybe, space is too —” serious answer only cut short by his quip. she laughs then, shoving playfully at him. “i can't believe i was answering you seriously! as if aliens have nothing better to do than stare at us staring at them.” a roll of her eyes, his teasing mood spreading over to her. “now though if we were doing something else…”
𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝙳𝙾𝙴𝚂𝙽'𝚃 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙻𝚄𝙲𝙺𝙸𝙴𝚁. not in the world they live in , a cruel environment demanding the highest of prices in the name of survival . they know what it’s like out there , both have taken lives and witnessed the loss of many others — loved ones , the family they were born into and the one they found along the way . it hasn’t been easy , some days it still isn’t . but they’ve come so far , together , and there is no other place 10k would rather be .
on nights like this , it’s almost like before the end . he doesn’t pretend it is — they never would have met in a reality without zombies . despite all the pain they’ve both endured , the happiness they found isn’t something the boy wants to ever trade . perhaps it is a bit selfish … unlike him , red could have seen and done so many things , met countless people , fallen in love time and again .
in this lifetime , she fell for him . and he fell for her . “you got me with your kickass moves before you did with dry humor .” before he even knew her , really knew her , 10k thought she might be his soulmate — had he known the concept of soulmates . which he does now , it is among what red taught him in their time together . there is little to no doubt in his mind at this point , they were meant to be together . she understands him like nobody else .
“i was serious !” he begins to counter , when her next words steal the air from his lungs and the boy finds himself choking on his own spit , flabbergasted . a not so subtle blush expands from 10k’s neck to his cheeks , reaching the tip of his ears . oh she got him , alright . “red ! that’s just weird . i don’t wanna put on a show for the aliens ... what if they’re into it ?”
&. @zomblight , vasquez : “too many questions. not enough answers.”
𝚂𝙺𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙼 𝙱𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙳𝚂 𝙳𝙴𝙻𝚃𝙰 𝚇-𝚁𝙰𝚈 𝙳𝙴𝙻𝚃𝙰 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 , manifest before their very eyes . all wrapped up in their attempts to debunk bernadette’s story , they’re missing out on the fun . not even in 10k’s wildest dreams , the teen could have imagined he'd have the chance to visit roswell - now with a z - , let alone break into a military base . he’s having the time of his life , overflowing with excitement .
on the other hand , vasquez’s frustration is understandable . the place is gutted , nothing for them to loot — no vehicles either , airborne or otherwise . it appears they’ve been chasing tail ... however , the answers they seek are - must be - within reach , hidden perhaps beneath their feet . the military wouldn’t run experiments in plain sight . he’s going to have to mention that , once warren gets back .
“i still think that woman’s telling the truth ... and the aliens did it .”
&. prompt , status : accepting .
𝚂𝙻𝙴𝙴𝙿 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝙵𝙸𝚂𝙷 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝙽'𝚃 𝙱𝙸𝚃𝙴 , on the longest night of 10k’s life since the beginning - or rather the end - of it all . for once , it is the silence that unsettles him ; stretching moments into perceived eternity . the sun won’t rise soon enough .
beside him , murphy is quiet for perhaps the first time in his life . he hasn’t stirred since they left the museum behind them . 10k might envy him ... how easy the man can rest , despite everything .
he hasn’t told anyone what happened back there . tried not to dwell on it , burying the fear down deeper instead . but 10k can’t stop thinking about it . he would have expected murphy to jump at the opportunity to punish him for mercying cassandra — why he didn’t , that’s what keeps haunting him .
“i know you’re awake . nobody lies that still , unless they’re dead dead .”
&. @mrcybite : murphy , random starter .
𝑌𝑂𝑈'𝚁𝙴 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁𝚂 . they've accepted being blends , embraced it even . it's the best thing that ever happened to them .
&. 𝙰𝙴𝚁𝚈𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙾𝚂
𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭; constellations of stars the only ceilling to their abode. with the fall of society came the rise of nature, stargazing now accessible to them anywhere. yet the homely sentiment of their settlement only served to transcend the experience. it is dreamlike, yet grounded in solid reality / together, alone in their small haven of peace. — his body a solid and reassuring presence by her side, warmth shared through linked arms, fingers entwined together. words are enough to paint a smile on relaxed features, as she turns her head to gaze at him. “i promise i won’t. you know i won’t. ask me.”
𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺𝚂 𝙱𝙴𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙵𝚄𝙻 - always does - but there’s something magnetic to the way red’s skin reflects the moonlight . perhaps it reminds him of the first night they ever spent together , only this time there’s no threat looming on the horizon . she had not smiled at him then the way she does now ; it’s easy to forget the raging apocalypse , in this little bubble of safety and peace they have created around them .
“who are you and what have you done to my girlfriend ?” he doesn’t even bother feigning concern , lopsided grin pulling at the corner of his mouth . the boy shifts closer to her , playfully bumping their shoulders . red had once mocked his name , 10k definitely expects her to laugh at what he’s about to say . however serious about it , he wouldn’t mind if she did .
“okay ...” glancing back to the sky , 10k bites the inside of his cheek . “aliens . do you think they’re real ? out there ?” pause . he lets the silence stretch between them , building anticipation . this is going to earn him a shove , but it’s worth the look on her face . 10k can barely hold his snickers as he adds , only to tease her , “watching us right now ?”
&. 𝙱𝙲𝚃𝙷𝙶𝚁𝙴𝙴𝙽𝙴
It’s been WEEKS since she has seen another person. Blue hues focused on the track in front of her, leading her deeper and deeper into the woods. She’s sure these are human tracks, walkers are zig zag and never consistent like this. Who knows how old they are though if it’s someone she knows or someone DANGEROUS. She’s willing to take the risk.
She finally gets to what looks like a makeshift camp, something temporary. There are tin cans tied around the border to alert the owner of the camp of walkers. ❝I don’t want any trouble.❞ She called though her hand went to the handle of her knife just in case. ❝Gettin’ dark soon and jus’ tired of bein’ out here alone.❞
𝚂𝚄𝚁𝚅𝙸𝚅𝙰𝙻 𝙸𝚂 𝙰 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙴𝙻𝚈 𝙿𝚄𝚁𝚂𝚄𝙸𝚃 . pa often said reliance was a weakness to overcome , and independence the ultimate goal . all his life 10k had been learning how to be self-sufficient , but only after losing his father he understood what the old man really meant . however starved for the solace of company , one is better off on their own : with nobody to look after but yourself , the chance of encountering your untimely demise lessens considerably .
that is , if you know what you’re doing . tommy thought he did , following pa’s instructions to the letter . must have slipped up somewhere along the way — the realization hits him as ears catch unexpected movement in the underbrush ; freezing him in the process of gutting fish . once instincts kick in , the boy reaches for his rifle and seeks cover .
she’s the first human being 10k has seen in a while . he doesn’t remember fondly his last encounter with a group of survivors , who’d stolen most of his supplies and his father’s truck . through the scope of his gun , the teen studies the newcomer with furrowed brows . he wonders , is she alone ? is this some kind of ambush ? once the girl falls quiet , there’s no other sound 10k can hear aside from his own breathing and the natural buzz of the woods .
a moment’s deliberation before he decides to lower his weapon and slide out of hiding . “that makes two of us —" 10k’s steps are slow , calculated , his muscles taut . however , the weight of the rifle still in his grip soothes the boy’s nerves some . “you’re not gonna need that , ma’am .” swift nod of his head , pointing at her knife , “unless you plan on helping me prep dinner .”
&. 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴
“It’s more than JUST hazardous materials. Bulletproof. Waterproof. Other fluids proof. Parts are even knifeproof.” He’s used to people asking questions. “The most I’ve had on me before I started to worry was about eight. I’m working on tweaking the leg bracers so I can run a little faster. Safety over speed, am I right?”
𝙸𝙽 𝚂𝙿𝙸𝚃𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝙸𝙽𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝚂𝙺𝙴𝙿𝚃𝙸𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙼 , the other’s words pique 10k’s curiosity . he’s only had the misfortune of wearing a regular suit ... uncomfortable and bulky ; but what ode is describing — 10k’s never heard of anything like it , let alone seen it . the boy perks up , childlike wonder alight in azure hues . “you’ve been building it all by yourself ? can i see it ?”
&. 𝙼𝚁𝙲𝚈𝙱𝙸𝚃𝙴 , 𝙲𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚁𝙰
boots scrape against dry floor, announcing her presence. quietly does she squat next to him, giving their surroundings a swift, wary glance before fishing a packet out of her backpack. “hey — birthday twinkie.” she simply announces. “quick before the others see it.”
𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝙸𝚁 , 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝚂𝙿𝙷𝙰𝙻𝚃 : mirage a mesmerizing sight , mundane distraction from boredom . watch isn’t as fun once one’s run out of zees to mercy . sitting in the shadow of the group’s pick-up , 10k seeks comfort from the scorching sun above them . only upon hearing his companion’s voice does the teen turn to face her , gaze falling from cassandra’s earnest smile to the item in her outstretched hand . fingers unwrap from the rifle in his lap to fetch it , but he hesitates : should he accept the gift ? how long had she been saving it ? “let’s share it ... before they come back .”
𝒊 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
&. @aerythros : “you’re gonna be okay.”
𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚂𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝟷𝟶𝙺 𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙴𝚅𝙴 , but fear’s grip is stronger than faith . life is a gift bestowed upon him , he lazarus raised from the dead : anyone would be grateful in his shoes — it is a terrible feeling to be anything but . would red resent him , were she aware of the truth ? the boy does not feel lucky . he can’t seem to peel his eyes away from the fresh bite mark on his forearm , memento mori / omen of doom . 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 ? with great effort , 10k turns to face her . red just lost her brother and still she sits beside him ; holding 10k’s hand , comforting him . he cannot handle to disappoint her . the boy nods , free palm cupping her cheek . “are you ?”
&. PROMPT , status : accepting .
Trauma changes you. The person you were before is gone. You have to reinvent yourself.“
(via betweenthegoodandbad)
&. @addcarver : ♡ + trust
𝙿𝙰𝚁𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙸𝙰 𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙷𝙰𝚆𝙺𝙴 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚈 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚃𝚈 long before its fall turned people into monsters . one would expect a son to share his father’s views — for tommy was raised to follow a rather peculiar way of life . their cabin and the surrounding woods were the boy’s entire world / family the only support he would ever need .
he seldom had a chance to meet people and albeit brief their interactions , always under walter’s stern guidance . tommy fully depended on his father , would take his word for anything without reason to believe otherwise . the teen’s inexperience reinforced his naïveté ; he is at once wary and easy to trust , which makes for quite the contradiction .
with pa’s passing , tommy lost everything but most of all he found himself lacking direction . before joining 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝙱𝙸𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙺 , the kid survived on his own for a year . during this time 10k was careful in keeping his distance from other survivors he might encounter , never wandering off too far from the countryside unless necessary .
on occasion he would offer assistance , instincts and good heart overruling reason . he was burned a few times , but it didn’t deter him from helping others down the line — only taught him to observe first and act second . it’s how he met delta x-ray . accepting doc’s offer for a ride had been a leap of faith , which he doesn’t regret ... but did at times (namely , the events of murphytown) .
despite everything he has gone through , 10k hasn’t completely lost the gullible side of him that makes him so endearing , but isn’t as quick to trust strangers (however reliable they might seem) as he used to . remember the con sketchy and skeezy dragged him into ? yeah , never again . it is different where the people he knows and loves are concerned : he trusts them unconditionally , the way he did with pa .
&. PROMPT , status : accepting .