I am coming clean and admitting I've had an unhealthy obsession these past few weeks analyzing the break up of Katie & Greg, my favorite ship from the entire Bachelor/ette franchise. I went down hard with this ship as it crashed and burned. From the beginning, I loved their chemistry and even if some say they were just trauma bonding over the passing of their fathers, I felt they had so much more going for them. I just figured out why I can't shake this pair out of my head.
Here it is: Katie & Greg remind me of Lizzie & Darcy from Pride & Prejudice, one of the greatest love stories ever told. The idea that a couple similar to a favorite fictional pairing could exist in real life had awakened the hopeless romantic in me.
Greg is totally Mr. Darcy. He is a family man, adorably awkward, reserved, internally tormented, but also deeply passionate. He's willing to dance to encourage affection.
Katie is like Lizzie. She is strong-willed, proud (maybe too proud), and has a sharp tongue. She gives no one permission to insult her. She loves her family even though they're embarrassing. Katie does not quite fit in with other women, but that is why she is so interesting.
The opposite personalities of Lizzie & Darcy made their playful banter and relationship dynamic so enjoyable. They challenged each others' ideas. They expanded each others' consciousness as they learned more about each other. This was synergy at its finest.
Katie is from hipster Seattle while Greg is from fuss-free Jersey - two very different worlds at opposite ends of America. They brought these worlds together in beautiful balance. When they split, the Bachelor Nation fandom was divided like a broken family. At least Greg owned up the error of his ways, but Katie seems dead set on hating him. Eventually, the false narratives she tells herself to keep her walls up will unravel . I hope she faces the facts and owns up to her part in the communication breakdown. When Greg was most vulnerable, Katie could not show a hint of honest affection. She accused him of giving up on the relationship moments after he confessed his love for her. Katie only spoke of herself as a prize to be won, but to Greg, she meant so much more than just that. I hope she realizes the profound truth in what Greg was trying to tell her the day he left her. True love is more than just keeping up appearances for a show and more than just physical attraction. It is more than just saying the words "I love you" or handing out roses. Katie and Greg were more than just two hot people who were mutually attracted to each other. They had divine harmony when they were together... until they were burned by the heat of their own fire.
It is nice to know Greg just wants Katie to be happy, but I do not believe Katie & Blake have the secret sauce. Good for them for having a lot of sex, but from what I know, that kind of connection is not long term sustainable. If banging each other is the main reason they're together, they'll eventually get bored. Blake fell in love so easily with two previous Bachelorettes and that cheapens his affection for Katie. I'm sure he can bounce back quickly if Katie left him. Sorry man. Blake seems like a great person, but his intellect does not seem to match hers ("You don't have to be great. You just have to be you." dafuq?). I thought she was smarter, but maybe her flippant use of the term 'gaslighting' proves otherwise. It is shamefully elitist to point that out, but honestly, their conversation was drab when they weren't talking about sex. There are a lot of hot horny ladies out there that Blake might have more chemistry with than her. He was not even sure he wanted to propose and it was mean to tease her in the proposal speech with "I don't think I can give you what you came here for". The Say Anything references were also cringeworthy. We did not see their love get tested. She was like a damsel in distress and Blake just swooped in to save her season of the show just because he happened to be there. It was quite dull. The 'conclusion' of their journey was really unsatisfying. Katie describing their love story as "perfect" just shows the lack of depth in their relationship.
Lizzie & Darcy were such beloved characters because they were both flawed. They both made mistakes, but because of their love, they were willing to overcome their pride and their prejudice. They corrected course and became the best versions of themselves at the end of the story before choosing to be together. "I was wrong" are three words that make the words "I love you" so much more meaningful. True love is transformational. Feelings of attachment are not true love unless there is consciousness. The best love stories are not about lovers conquering outside forces, but conquering their own inner demons. People truly in love consciously choose to grow together in spirit, not in spite of their imperfections, but because of them.
Greg was impatient and had unrealistic expectations. He should have given Katie more chances to figure out what he was saying. Maybe she found his desperation unattractive. Maybe if he helped her off the floor and said goodbye properly, she might have flown out to Jersey to go after him. Katie was shallow when she could only say "I just love looking at you" and spoke to Greg as if he were just a contestant on a game show. It seemed as if his pain was just an inconvenience to her. She seemed untrustworthy. If she had stronger feelings for Blake or was still undecided, openly expressing that to Greg would have been more respectable than stringing him along to dump him later. If Greg was the one she wanted the most, she looked incredibly fickle switching her affection to whoever was still available. Most people have not been in her situation, so it is tough to judge.
Lizzie Bennet said a lot of mean things, but she was a strong female character because she was able to learn from her mistakes and grow as a person without compromising her core values. She was in love with Darcy for his character and integrity. He was courageous, generous, and compassionate - his appearance, his wealth and his status were least important to her. He proved his love for Lizzie by his selfless acts of kindness to her family even after she accused him of being a pompous ass.
Greg staying out of the way to honor Katie's decision and let her be happy with Blake is an act of love. Him working on himself in therapy is another way to prove the love he had for her was real. Only Katie knows the inner conflict she's been facing. If she truly loved Blake, resolving her conflict with Greg will help her and Blake in the long run - otherwise their relationship will be haunted by the past. If life with Greg was always her true heart's desire, love will find a way even in the most impossible circumstances.
It really is not fair to compare real human beings to fictional characters - especially the exceptionally (maybe unrealistically) strong characters written by Jane Austen. I am just sharing my thoughts before I watch the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie for the hundredth time. I just want the satisfying ending I could not get from watching reality TV before I move on to my next obsession.
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