Queen + Soldier

So what better time is to film myself singing to a camera than allergy season I swear I sneezed like 15068 times and had to do the thing all over again. And yes, I look nice to distract you with my face from the fact that I eat cigarettes for a living and shit. Clever. So here it is, for those of you that wanted to see me wail into a shitty cam with slight hints of moaning that some would even call singing. Like me, for example. It was fun

people that sent in the meme: timidmakoto bxdt paraktes orderandsophism zoehang3 sollertis probavi blxddetorr

undergroundmagnolia-deactivated

GOOD SHIT OP

#ooc

cracks knuckles okay I'm back in the jam of roleplaying i think, so give me a bit and i'll have my blog fixed up and ready. i'd like to note i'm going to try to run this as hange's blog as well? you guys will see.

#ooc

Isabel walked one step behind, senses on guard in case the other tried something unexpected again. Unfortunately, she was once again disconcerted at their words. You suck at dealing with people after all. It wasn’t the first time someone hinted attraction to her, but previously pride took flattery without caring for hidden intentions. Big Bro was always there, keeping unwanted consequences away. But she was on her own against this one. She huffed in annoyance as the older soldier’s words continued; there was nothing to rebut: every single thing was true. That didn’t make it any less displeasing to hear out loud. It was only after their last sentence that Isabel felt on known grounds. Direct confrontation was easier to deal with.

"Well that’s too bad isn’t it? You’re stuck with me for the time being. Move, like hell I’m going before you"

They shrug, not bothering with going against her wishes. Instead, they assess the situation. She seems only a year or two younger than themself, while the men both seemed a year or two their senior. That's no basis for respect, but they find her behavior appropriate, in all honesty. Had they had a normal upbringing, they like to think they'd be as perky as her (without the rather distrustful personality, of course). They step inside, shrugging.

"Sure, sure. I made sure none of the others would be showering right now, so you can take your bath as you need. I won't look," they cross their arms. "See, squad leader wants me to keep an eye on you. When he can't you know? Because you're a girl and stuff, so if he followed you around everywhere, that'd be kinda creepy," they bite their tongue, stare at the ceiling in contemplation. "I told no one to come bother you as you bathe either. Most of the soldiers don't like you, in a different way than I don't like you. So I wouldn't want you getting hurt or anything."

#undergroundmagnolia

For such a smart person, they could be so foolishly naive. "If you didn’t think freedom would mean pain, then you’re much more unfit to lead us, to take care of us. You’re not supposed to fear, remember?" That wasn’t the part of the deal they signed with the devil. Demons were their audience back then. "If you can’t take care of us, then I’ll do it. I already did." A thought, simple one; it was a wonder Hange never considered it before. "I’ll be here as song as you need me."

A wonder. A simple truth. Something both of them knew for a much longer time than they knew Hange’s going to die. It was something taken for granted throughout the course of years, but always present. "Before me? You were being weak before me, Zoe. You thought your entire existence revolved around titans, but that was just childish. Then you got to know much more. Don’t you think the world will need you even when the damn Walls crumble down?" Eyebrows raised, voice harsh and unforgiving, "You won’t know what to do, but there’s always gonna be an enemy somewhere out there. Besides. Isn’t learning something you’re good at?"

"Humans naturally fear the unknown. It's not a concept you could understand," spat out, venomous. "I can do it just fine. I'm fine with feeling pain, you don't get it Hange. You don't. It's not a concept you could understand because…" brought close, two bodies separated only by the fabric of their clothing. They clench the other's collar. "You're a concept yourself. You forget that, sometimes," and let go, moved away, they know they'll drink heavy once they wake up, once the world of reality ensnares them again. They wish they could stay here forever.

"I am," it's pitiful, how they need someone so loathsome to give them justification, gratification, purpose. "I'm really good at learning. What will I find? Lost civilizations? Strange animals? There was a time when all that meant something to me. When all of that was…exciting," lids shut. "I always tell you, so long as you're devout to your goals, you can't die. But beyond rescuing mankind, I have no goals. And that goal…it's not kind. It's out of spite. My entire existence…." they stop, sit against the wall, begin laughing.

"That got depressing. Fast. Existentiality is an interesting topic, isn't it? Say, Hange…I've never learned your views on the afterlife."

undergroundmagnolia-deactivated

Hello Hanji ^ ^

"Hello Armin," lips purse. "Do you need something?"

A frown crossed her face as confusion only grew. What should be done with this person? Their words spoke insult but their actions seemed to suggest otherwise. And actions were more important than the way someone chose to speak, right? That was the rule she applied to herself and she wasn’t one for double standards after all.

Her lips curved into a hesitating smile that tried to look amused.

"Yeah right. As if everyone else isn’t pretending they don’t reek all the time like you said. And thanks but don’t touch me, I can do it myself”

"Well, get movin’. I’ll go right behind you"

#undergroundmagnolia #{ WOW }

A grin spreads over their features. "Let's get going then," so they begin with making their way down the hall, quietly assessing how they feel about this one. They decide to do it aloud. They've always been blunt, and never been one with much regards to the feelings of others.

"I've known you for only a short time, so I can't make a final opinion on you, but thus far, I've gathered some information about you. You're cute, for one," they walk slightly ahead of her, make sure their face is unseen. If she were to look, she'd simply see a smile. "Really cute. I'd say my type, but I like the taller sort. But if I were to go for someone shorter, you'd be my number one. You're also sort of a brat--but anyone can tell that after seeing you with blondie and shortstack. It's cute though. It adds to the whole little sister feel you have. On your own you seem a bit less energetic. I suppose close friends have that influence on people," they stop in front of the bathroom door, then hold it open for her.

"All in all, people like you kind of piss me off."

“So you’re afraid if winning is that it?” Honestly, Hange thought they wouldn’t care as much, but this flamed old anger. “I am going to vanish into thin nothingness, I am prepared to die, and no one will ever know I existed! For your cause! For the victory you desire, not me!” They were hatred, they were vengeful, furious parts, even the mud and blood on which they walked would rot under them. And the only thing it mattered in Hange’s world was Zoe’s word- one that was being swayed but something as little as the upcoming death of another monster.

"You go forward, love." Instead of screams they bark out orders, as if neither of them had a choice. In a way, it was true. Hange certainly didn’t. "Give up what you need to give up. Stop trembling. Stop." Hange was the one that was supposed to be doubt and tremolo, not Zoe. The boot that pressed on got significantly weaker. "You either carry on with this, as you did before." Brows furrow. ”Or I kill you.”

They nod, not speaking, listening. They feel as if a child, scolded by a parent. Fists clench the more they speak, and their anger rises again. Bubbles and snaps, they look at the other with gritted teeth, feeling their bare toes dig into the carped and cause folds in it. "I'm not afraid of winning! I'm ready to win."

"I'm afraid of what comes after."

A confession that makes them small again, though they keep their back straight. "What the fuck did I do before you? I trained. And I wanted to fight. To beat titans. To know things. My entire existence centers around the fact that we're caged animals! Say someone is born in a prison. When you give them freedom, they won't know what to do. They won't know what they want to do!"they breathe heavy, take a moment to catch themself. "I'm the same way. You are too! You just know you'll….die….when this is all done. But I'll keep living. I'm not the type to take my own life. You know if I was, I would have done it a long time ago."

undergroundmagnolia-deactivated

Caught unprepared, the towel hit straight in her face and would have fallen to the floor had Isabel not catched it in a very poor, belated reflex. You’re making a fool of yourself, you stupid girl. It took her a moment to register what the other was saying; there was something about this soldier that disoriented her, something beyond her understanding. It made her nervous. They’re insulting you while you stare like an idiot, do something!

"H-hey. What!? Have you even looked at yourself?"

#undergroundmagnolia #{ hange zoe: does not play nice. }

They snort. The other two proved to be relatively interesting, but they know this one, the small one, will be the most fun. They tilt their head to the side so slightly, smile sweet, and anyone from their own trainee squad would call them out on the crock-of-shit-overly-sweet persona they're wearing for the beloved guest. Experiments aren't limited to frogs and bugs, for Zoe.

"No shit. I was training for the last two hours, I'm soaked in sweat. Come on, I'll wash your hair for you. Or do they not have showers in the underground? In that case, I can help you get yourself ready," they're shameless as they are rude, keeping a rather pleasant tone as they jab at her.

And suddenly, they were sixteen again, alone in the barracks, with sounds of everyone asleep, only screams from the inside, Hange’s screams, and hands that rip Zoe’s ribs apart. It’s all sorts of nostalgic, all sorts of sad. They look in wonder; even Hange could forget the beautiful part of Zoe wasn’t the monstrous part. It was this. They wanted to destroy it.

A shrug. From somewhere outside it thunders, a warning shot. "Stretch the time line long enough, everything’s survival rate drops to zero. I was always meant to be left behind." All I want is one last dance. “And you. All you have to do is win, isn’t it? Are you having doubts? Aren’t you more capable? Are you a force? Or are you a maggot, surviving in the mud?” Tone sweet enough to mock the other’s thoughts. "Do you want to quit? Take the kids, go into hiding? Who knows, maybe you’ll get another year to live?" A snort comes out, Hange feels nothing short of disgust. "If you want end, if you want closure, I can take care of that." A soldier. How terrible.

"I'm capable," it's not heated, as they expected it to be. They've been less and less able to understand themself as of late. This is a sickening feeling, their stomach flops and turns and they bite their lower lip. It's not that they're meek or gentle or kind--Zoe is not those things, and Hange is not either. They're a snake, if anything. Something not meant to be notices. Something hushed.

"It's not that I want closure. It's not any of that. I just want to know where to go next. Without you, without Mike and Nanaba. Without Levi and Erwin. Where will I go? Become Commander? Lead humanity to discovering the outside world? Learn? It'll be nice, yes, but….it won't be titans. It won't be fighting government corruption. It's sentimental but….to save mankind, I have to give up my family, don't I?"

"Giving up my own humanity wasn't enough, was it? Where do I go from here?"

undergroundmagnolia has entered

"Hey, twintails," they throw the girl a towel. "No one's shown you around this place yet, have they? You reek. My friend took the liberty of helping blondie and shortstack find the guys bathrooms. You know where the showers are?" a laugh, booming. "You reek man."

#undergroundmagnolia

Who’d have known that they could smile so sweetly, so gently. Though, smiles of that kind were reserved only for the other. The abyss Zoe so eagerly tried to look at turned and formed in another version of themself, the eyes that hold nothing but blood lust and emptiness now gazed right back, and no matter how many times they told themself that they were shielding Zoe from it- they knew it was a lie.

But Hange loved Zoe, the way nothing ever loved a person, and only thing that would make them love the twin more would be the hand on their cheek to move down to their neck. Where it belongs. "Noble?" They snort and catch the hand of their twin, the other wrapped around Zoe’s waist, and Hange twirls them around the familiar space. "Whatever you say."

Hesitance carries them, in every step, and they're drug around the familiar room. Clocks ticking, waves rolling, they've been here a thousand times. It's cleaner now than the last time, and they credit that to the fact that there's one goal right now. No need for clutter. No titans or mother or Levi or Erwin, not anything but to overthrow and expose. That's simple enough. Particular enough. They close their eyes and bury their face in the crook of Hange's neck.

"I don't like this. I don't want to do this anymore. If we keep doing this…what comes after? What do we do after this?" they tug from the other again, look at them. "Do we just die?! We're not old! we're not sentimental! the kids have lives ahead of them and the older ones? They're gonna die or be useless. We're caught in between! Again! And guess what!? We're going to be left behind," a rise into shout, and again does their tone fall.

"You're going to be left behind."

thearminarlert-blog

「 ✕✕✕ || ❖ || ✕✕✕ 」

“—I’m listening.”

#humanitysgenius #loststrategy

"Don't worry!! It's not one of those weird kind Levi likes. Mike suggested it to me, and I played through one night. It scared the crap out of me! Can you imagine that? A game that scared me?" they sound surprised at the fact, overly so. "Anyways, I was wondering if you'd come to my house and play it with me. I want to finish, but Nanaba and Erwin are total dweebs when it comes to this sort of thing, Levi would kill Mike if he knew he suggested something of this sort to me and well…Mike…aha. I can't ask him. You understand, right?"

#thearminarlert #{ heh }

one soldier has entered

"Hey," glasses off, they rub their eyes before donning their glass again. "I need to go into town later. Will you come with me?" normally Nanaba is recruited for this sort of thing.

#titanslayerlevi

two soldiers have entered

"Don't worry. You'll grow taller," completely uncalled for. Out of the blue. Way to go, Hange.

thearminarlert-blog

zoehang3 replied to your post:Armin

"So there’s this new game."

「 ✕✕✕ || ❖ || ✕✕✕ 」

“—Oh? What sort of game?”

"It's a video game."

#thearminarlert

Their laugh is like bells ringing, and Hange knows better than to mock Zoe like this. “You, my dear, are a soldier.” In a way, that was the truth. "I am nothing but a tool." Your creation. It was well known who actually cared about morals, and which one of them needed to find excuses, parallels and rational solutions to justify the way they operated. “That much is true. Well, we’re all just… taking care of ourselves. Even freedom is a selfish cause. You’d know that well.” They liked to call themselves a monster, two faces of a coin, something beyond human, just the hide one small detail. Because only humans can be sinners, and Hange’s existence alone was a huge one. They find the twin ridiculous sometimes.

Words always skirt the morbid when it comes to their other, and at this time they find it's something they need. Their grip upon the world, a hold on reality. Somehow sanity found in a lack of. They touch the other's face, different from their own in minute ways. It's paler, more edged--as if for a lack of sun, a lack of food. Starving and hungry. They both know the differences. No one else would be able to tell them apart.

"That you are," they speak low when they do. "It is. It really is. Everything is selfish. Wanting to help someone is selfish, because you think they'll love you in the end. Something along those lines," they shrug. "But hey. What more can we do. Knowledge is supposedly a noble goal," their voice muffles as they begin to chew upon the nail of their index finger. "So let's play noble for a while longer."