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@zolawrites
Call me for no reason I love hearing your voice
“Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.” - Leila Sales
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Poems & Words
Poems & Words
I’m slowly learning that the energy it takes to react to every bad thing that happens to you drains you and stops you from seeing the other good things in life. I’m slowly learning that I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I won’t be able to get everyone to treat me the way I want to be treated and that’s okay. I’m slowly learning that trying so hard to ‘win’ anyone is just a waste of time and energy and it fills you with nothing but emptiness.
I’m slowly learning that not reacting doesn’t mean I’m okay with things, it just means I’m choosing to rise above it. I’m choosing to take the lesson it has served and learn from it. I’m choosing to be the bigger person. I’m choosing my peace of mind because that’s what I truly need. I don’t need more drama. I don’t need people making me feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t need fights and arguments and fake connections. I’m slowly learning that sometimes not saying anything at all says everything.
I’m slowly learning that reacting to things that upset you gives someone else power over your emotions. You can’t control what others do but you can control how you respond, how you handle it, how you perceive it and how much of it you want to take personally. I’m slowly learning that most of the time, these situations say nothing about you and a lot about the other person. I’m slowly learning that maybe all these disappointments are just there to teach us how to love ourselves because that will be the armor and the shield we need against the people who try to bring us down. They will save us when people try to shake our confidence or when they try to make us feel like we’re worthless.
I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything, it won’t make people suddenly love and respect me, it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on yourself and your inner peace and you’ll come to realize that not reacting to every little thing that bothers you is the first ingredient to living a happy and healthy life.
Know that it gets better
I need you to know that the way you flay your heart open for the world is brave, that the way in which you refuse to be anything but soft, even when you feel like you may just break under the weight of feeling, is why you are needed here. I need you to know that beautiful things are vanishing each day, and I am proud of you for fighting to ensure that your soul is not one of them. You need to keep fighting.
I need you to know that you will find the places that leave every tender part of you feeling calm and at peace with who you are. You will find the places that inspire everything inside of you to surge and ache with the hope and the beauty of being alive. These places, they are not where you were born, but they will be where you are reborn. You will know when you have found them. My god, will you know.
I need you to know that there are others like you in this world; others who are messy hearted, others who feel things intensely, and without hesitation, others who cannot contain all that they hold within the worlds of their mind because they have only ever known how to pour, how to shatter, how to give and give and give. I need you to know that you will find these people, and they will become your family — you will take care of each other. You will grow together, in the moments between breaths, in the stunning silence that blankets your souls when you connect with the fact that in a world of billions, in the middle of all this noise, you found each other.
But most of all, I need you to know that we are all here, together, dealing with what is dark and light within us. I need you to know that you aren’t alone. I need you to know that you are going to survive this. I need you to know that one day, you’re going to be sitting in a place you love, surrounded by people who inspire you, and you’re going to think back to the storms, and the hurricanes that rattled through your bones, and you are going to smile. The clarity will wash over you.
You will be free. You will be free.
When love stays something inside of you stops fighting, it lays down its arms, it finally rests. When love stays, your heart stops holding its breath, it lets out all doubt, all confusion, all of the heaviness that surrounded its need to guard and defend and dismiss anything that came close to holding it. When love stays, something quietly whispers from the depths of who you are – “It is okay to be soft now. It is okay.”
When love stays, you start to understand why it had to leave in the first place. Why you had to ache, why past love had to dig caverns inside of your heart in order to make room for the person who would end up filling your soul with light. When love stays, clarity cracks within you — you comprehend the hurt, the loss, the lessons the wrong ones etched along your spine. When love stays, you make peace with all that weathered you, because you see just how it pushed you in the direction of growth, how it pushed you in the direction of the right arms, the right heart, the right soul.
But I know the dark reality of being hurt by the hands that were meant to hold you. I know the fear; for when love stays, at first it is difficult to believe that it has truly chosen you. After all of this time, after all of the damage, something so heavy has suddenly become delicate, has become simple and light. After years of begging, of hoping, of having your needs starved by those who could not give you what you craved, you have found the kind of love that nurtures you. That believes in you.
And I know, I know — it is difficult when every tender part of who you are has been bruised and let down by the ones who never learned how to love you properly. But you must believe in this love the way it believes in you. You must trust it.
Because when love stays, the only way to truly experience it in all of its beauty, is to let it wash over you — is to have confidence in it, is to give it all that you are. When love stays, you have to be loyal to it, you have to show up for it, you have to understand that it is going to be by your side, it is going to fight with you — no matter what. You cannot flee from it. You cannot let your past shrink you into the kind of person who walks away from it in order to refrain from being hurt. You have to plant your feet, you have to stand and face it for all that it is, as terrifying as such an unknown can be. You have to believe, that this time, love is different. That this time, love is right.
you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day
i do promise
A happy ending:
“She agreed to love herself deeply.She was finally the sun of her own life.”
-Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction
““Not everyone you love is going to love you back. That’s why you’ve got to love yourself.” Unknown”
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““Ability is nothing without opportunity.” Napoleon Bonaparte”
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So full!
I’ve come realization that I’m an empath and keep suffering with the above mentioned points under self abandonment. Healing from this is f%$!ing hard but it has to be done. Just gotta keep moving forward!!
Source: https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch2P-1hMT3X/