ZoundZ

The sound I hear before I fall asleep.

[zoundzz]

Why are they so sick and ridiculous?

C. Mingus

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

What’s that

What is that think when you’re feeling when a part of brain is broken. A certain  thought is becoming obsessive and you’re not sure if it’s because it’s so important or if it’s sillier than anything else you could let in there.

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

Perfectionism

Don’t you want everything to be perfect?

In my life chaos prevails. I seek for perfect chaos. 

This means, I have to tear down every structure made from humans.

Because in my perfect world, chaos is natural.

[zoundzz]

They parade in your head. Then they start kicking around. They start whistling, leaving no space for your thoughts to take place.  They are not able to happen.

If you don’t sit down to explore and write, they start pinching the interior of your brain. They start kicking the neurons and cutting a few. Those terrorists can even block your movement. fuck!

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

Complexity is pain

I really wanted to understand. Her complexity made me feel uneasy and the new info should be categorized the soonest. Categorized and placed thoroughly in the drawers. Just so I could reach them the soonest to make the essential connections and analysis in order to understand. Sometimes a person is a world and a day can be a lifetime. A lifetime can be eternity and eternity is just a moment. In my mind everything is unshaped. Complexity is amazing and amazing is pain. Pain is a feeling and it’s the only true feeling until death erases it all.

[zoundzz]

No action

Dry eyes, dry mouth, dry wine on the floor. Dry my thoughts, numb my limps.

I clap my hands, no noise. I toss and turn, no choice. I stomp my feet no sound. Your world in my hands and no interaction. No action.

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

One Morning

That morning, I woke up feeling numb. The thought of you made me smile and I wanted to see your face again. Soon, very soon my dear we’ll get the chance to walk into the landscape of our imagination and sing together the songs and melodies of our heart.

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

He stood by the door. He made a little step and explored the room with his bright eyes. It was cold in there and he felt awkward. She wanted to hug him and kiss him, she wanted to make him feel comfortable but wasn’t sure she would be able to do so. He is a man of knowledge. He is practical and doesn’t understand the mysteries of living on the edge. He’s a man of thinking. Being based on feeling is not his comfort zone. 

[zoundzz]

I’m sorry

My room is not warm

your hug is

my heart is not soft 

your touch is

my home is not great

my love for you is

Sorry my space is small

stay by my side and I have it all.

[zoundzz]

[zoundzz]

In terror

The old books of music theory and piano sheet music dropped from my bookcase. They must have dropped while I was away. When I entered the room, they were already lying on my floor in their colorful covers and their glossy textures. They came back like ghosts to haunt me. They were screaming and blaming me for a skill I had left to die in me. I kneel and tried to find a piece of paper to write something down. The melodies were screaming and yelling at me. My ears were not anymore on my head. They were already traveling around the world in search for mysteries. I knew it was gonna be a long night of no-sleep. This is what life would be if I left my fantasies unleashed. A life in terror.