Still got time

@zaynmalik: What does ON FLEEK mean? Like seriously @zaynmalik: Didn't realize the hate for minions was this real fuck these aliens got it bad @zaynmalik: Ask me if I give a motherfuck?!

[hellaregui]

[dawnofus]

[sarradinha]

[midsommars-deactivated20201109]

[zxynokay]

&& MOODBOARD: ZAYN AND JENNA 

@jbethguerrero

[keepingupwithzayn]

[zxynokay]

hannahpls:

“ no, not really. – – does that make me seem really big headed? ” hannah questioned. perhaps unlike musicians, the fans weren’t quite as directly influential on hannah’s life; she did however feel like a let down when it came to other things: relationships, for starters. “ why? do you? ” she nodded when he agreed to drive her, shrugging slightly. there could’ve been worst times, but she didn’t want to jinx herself. she peered over at him with soft blue eyes when he questioned her. “ it just seems like you’re the one who’s had to deal with everyone’s backlash for lying, while she promised you she’d come up on the chat and take ownership of her lies, and she hasn’t. seems a bit of a cop out to me, ” hannah replied truthfully. she nodded as he explained that he’d known for a while now, jenna’s attempts to be honest proving that there was some element of trust to the relationship. 

“nope. i guess you don’t worry as much as i do when it comes to that stuff which isn’t a big deal.” he reassured, waving off the thought. “i really just worry a lot about what everyone thinks about me, especially the fans. and i’d hate to let any of them down, you know? i have such a big fan base that the thought of letting them all down makes me a little nauseous, if i’m being honest.” what hannah was saying made a lot of sense and he hated thinking of jenna negatively in any way but she was right. he’d been taking all of the hits from everyone and if he was being honest, it was really taking a toll on him. “right.” he pushed his fingers through his dark hair. “maybe i’ll just talk to her about that...” he spoke, mainly to himself.

[zxynokay]

don’t set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. the words echoed through his brain over and over again. she kind of threw you under the bus, didn’t she? hannah’s words had hit home. he was doing all he could to defend his girlfriend from everyone’s harsh words but it was hard. it was hard being the only taking the hits. he sighed as he came downstairs. he’d left jenna in his bed as he plopped down in his office chair. his head was hurting from everything that had happened. he was lucky that niall forgave him but he knew niall’s heart was bigger than louis’ and he was almost positive that there was no way louis would forgive him. he’d lost that friend and he was still trying to hang on to any other relationship he had with anyone else but not everyone knew the truth and he was sure that’s why he hadn’t lost everyone. he put his head in his hands and clenched his jaw for a moment. he didn’t realize at the time he’d made the decision to hide her identity that he’d get this much backlash off of it but he wished he had. maybe things would be different. maybe he would’ve lost her trust instead of her friends and maybe things would’ve been easier on him.

@jbethguerrero

[perriedward]

Yes, you are.

[zxynokay]

persephoneleblanc:

Sephy bit her lip, taking a big breath. “..I’m pregnant. I had to go away, process it all. I didn’t want to leave but I had to…I’m fine though, I promise.”

“you’re pregnant?” zayn questioned, staring at the brunette. “who’s the father?” he obviously knew it wasn’t himself but he still felt nervous to even ask.

[zxynokay]

darcylou:

“I don’t ‘push people away’. People just can’t handle who I am, Malik. I’m not going to change myself.”

“i’m not asking you to change yourself. you don’t bother me but sometimes, i just wonder why you are the way you are.”

[rosalie-beaumont]

SNAPCHAT || OPEN

[zxynokay]

rosalie-beaumont:

ROSE: It helps me get through the tough days. 

ZAYN: that’s all that matters.

[zxynokay]

jordan-cooper:

“Bad trips are the worst. Plus, it makes it better having someone with you being just as much as a mess.”

“yeah, well it’s been a long time since i’ve had a bad trip so i think i’m pretty sage. i try not to smoke if i’m upset anyways.”

[rosalie-beaumont]

Rosalie had only been back in the Hamptons for a few weeks, just in time for the influx of visitors to arrive. Like all the influential people in the area, she’d been sent an invitation to the early Summer Gala, causing the blonde to buy a new designer dress for the occasion. She was just about to get to the paparazzi section when she saw a familiar face. “Fancy walking in with me? Seb was but he bailed on the red carpet part.”

[zxynokay]

zayn didn’t plan on going to the summer gala but maybe it was best if he tried getting away from the hamptons for a night. everyone was hitting him hard and it wasn’t like he didn’t expect it but he felt like he was doing everything on his own. he turned as he heard a familiar voice and nodded, “oh. sure.” he agreed and held his arm out for her to take. “or is that weird?”

[zaynmaliksource]

june 11th ‘18

[zxynokay]

hannahpls:

“ he’s very, very cool. you won’t be let down, ” hannah reassured, talking admirably of her co-star. “ hm, if you’ve got stuff to do, i can get a cab, ” she shrugged. she honestly didn’t mind if he had to leave. “ like he did with you? ” she asked almost impulsively – – she figured niall shared a lot with zayn, which was probably why he’d been hurt when zayn had failed to disclose such a large secret. she tried to retrace their conversations like steps when zayn mentioned that she and niall weren’t together. last she remembered on the beach niall had uttered something about zayn saying his relationships never work out. “ i wouldn’t tease him about that, ” she said simply. “ … she’s afraid how everyone would react, but she kind of made you throw yourself under the bus didn’t she? don’t light yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm. ” too preoccupied with fulfilling her usual routine, hannah hadn’t even realised that zayn might find her habits a little odd. “ she told you before you started dating, ” hannah repeated with a nod, it all slowly starting to make a little more sense to her now. a part of her wanted to ask if he was just scared of being alone or scared of losing jenna. there was a clear difference between the two, but she didn’t bother. “  that’s okay. not quite sure if i’ve given the advice you came for, though. ” 

zayn smiled slighty at the news, “that’s good to hear. i’d hate to be excited about meeting someone and then them be a let down.” he paused and looked over at her, “do you ever wonder sometimes if fans think of you that way? as a let down? and i’m not saying you but like, in general.” this was probably the worst time to ask this question and he knew that but he was trying to get her mind off of the injury. he didn’t want her to stress about it too much but it was kind of obvious that it was too late. “no, i can take you. i mean, it’s the least i can do since i’ve over here bothering you for advice at the worst possible time.” he replied and pulled his car keys out of his pocket. zayn frowned a little and nodded, “like he did with me.” he confirmed. he was sure niall wasn’t going to share things with him like he used to but he deserved that much. “i-what?” he hadn’t really thought about it too much but maybe, just maybe hannah was right. he was the one that was taking most of the hits because of it and regardless, he stuck by her side but for what? “i’ll keep that in mind.” he whispered, furrowing his eyebrows in thought. “she did and she was trying to be honest with me, which is a good thing i think.” he added. “i never get the advice i want to hear but it’s always advice i need to hear.” he reassured.

[zxynokay]

hannahpls:

“ sure, i’ll keep that in mind, ” hannah nodded. “ anyway, i better go get this stitched up. ” she internally groaned at the thought, not wanting the carefully wrapped bandage to be unravelled again, but alas, it needed to be done. she made her way into the hallway where she had left her phone and purse earlier, unzipping it to ensure that all her IDs were safely stored within. she thumbed through the card holder one by one, counting as she did everytime before she left the house – – a completely irrational behaviour given that her cards couldn’t have simply crept out of her wallet overnight. “ i don’t know if that’s true, ” hannah replied at the mention of niall. hannah wasn’t sure what to divulge; she and stan would eventually need to come up with some form a story that was real enough to cover up a complete myth. she didn’t know if niall had spoken to zayn about them finally getting together, but she figured it was best to leave things murky for now. “ i’m just hard to say no to, ” hannah declared with a matter of fact smile. “ if she said she was going to do it, and she hasn’t…. ” she exhaled deeply, her mind going back to her first thoughts when niall had told her about this situation – her gut instinct that jenna had somehow twisted or blackmailed zayn into continually lying to them all, that maybe he didn’t actually know all along and that this was just some other twisted scheme of hers. “ how much do you trust this woman, zayn? ” she tucked her phone into her back pocket, quickly grabbing her jacket and keys off the rack, before returning to the kitchen to ensure the stove was off, instinctively fiddling with the gas knobs and turning them left to right thrice. “ you just said you know some of them won’t come back around. is she worth that? i’m not saying she isn’t. ” though maybe internally, she was. “ i just want you to be sure. ” she shrugged. “ you could, ” hannah tempted, perhaps moreso talking to herself, than anyone else. 

“thanks, i appreciate that. is he as cool as he seems? or am i going to be let down?” zayn questioned his friend. he nodded his head, “do, uh, do you need me to drive you there or are you going to be okay to drive?” he wanted to be there for her as much as he could and a part of him wanted to finish this conversation, even if this was probably one of the last things they should be talking about when she was the way she was at the moment. he walked toward her kitchen and stood there, not sure if he should leave yet or not. he figured it’d be better if he just left with her, just in case something else happened. “i do. maybe not everyone else but when niall cares about someone the way he cares about you then he’s going to share anything he can with you,” zayn paused, shaking his head. “sorry.” he apologized. “i didn’t mean to make that awkward because i know you two aren’t together or anything and i don’t want you to tease him over what i just said.” he added. “no one is too hard to say no to.” he knew that wasn’t true. he probably couldn’t say no to half of the people in his life but he was still surprised that hannah knew everything and a part of him was thankful she was even still talking to him. “and she hasn’t because she was afraid everyone would react....well, the way they have. i know it’s hard to believe after the lied but jenna is a good person. she’s nothing like her sister in any way or well, they both lied about different things but still. she’s different and i don’t think i can convince any of you she is but i’m being honest.” he was sure that didn’t matter. it was going to be hard to believe him after he lied the first time. “i trust her a lot. she hasn’t given me a reason otherwise because she told me before we even started dating and that took a lot from her. i know it did.” he watched her habit and furrowed his eyebrows, deciding against commenting on it. “breaking up with her isn’t going to make them come back. they’re not going to want anything to do with me anyways and i’ll be pretty alone if i lose jenna.” he sighed. “i know and i’m glad you’re looking out for me.”