How do you come back from hurting the ones you love?
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Strong language, vampire mythology, themes of persecution and coping, isolation and abandonment, supernatural elements, stalking, yearning, secrecy and scheming, references to slavery, implications of destitution, adult content and underlying themes of horror throughout.
𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Chapter I of Sanguis Limerence: Awakening™. In the aftermath of the mansion attack, a deal struck with the devil restricts you to captivity once again. The vampires you called family are misplaced, the vampires you called lovers, lost. Yet among the broken spirits and vagrant souls, a sliver of hope still remains. For where there is life, there is the promise of a new home, new memories to be made and secrets to be uncovered… ones that will change you forever. In this sequel, experience a journey of betrayal, redemption and self-discovery, told from three different viewpoints.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Shifts in perspective from third to first person | Self-insert, female reader x Bang Chan | Self-insert, female reader x Lee Know (All members included)
𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐀𝐕: Contents List | Sanguis Limerence™ | Sanguis Limerence: Origins™
𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: © August 2021 by jl-micasea
How do you come back from hurting the ones you love?
Apologising is probably a good start; I suppose it’s where most people would.
Throw in a fuck-ton of grovelling and promises of reparation, maybe a flogging or two. Depends on the person. And the century, actually.
I could do all that. Take a leaf from the book of a decent, better person and hope that what worked for them will somehow work for me too.
And not because I’m stubborn.
I just know that any apology I could give or any grand act of contrition I could conjure wouldn’t even begin to smooth over the cracks I’ve chiselled into the hearts of the people I care for.
Make no mistake, that’s how things should be. I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven for the things I’ve done.
I’m a black belt when it comes to beating myself up.
I question myself, the decisions I make. I analyse situations again and again, and once more for good measure, because that’s the only way I’ll know for sure I’m doing the right thing.
That’s my responsibility, for as long as I can remember. To do the right thing by my clan and by anyone else that might cross our paths.
Because doing the right thing, might one day make me a good person.
That’s how it all works, right?
So how do I still manage to fuck everything up? How do I still bring pain and suffering to those I try to protect, despite my best efforts?
I’ve had a lot of time to think about that, the last few months. To think about everything, actually.
I’ve come to something of a natural conclusion, I think.
I ruin everything I touch because I’m not a good person.
It’s really as simple as that.
I act on selfish emotion and petty desire. No matter how hard I might try, no matter how many ‘right’ things I do, I’ll forever carry this blackened stain on my soul. I’ll forever be cursed with this endless thirst, an arid dryness to my throat that can only be quenched through inflicting pain in some form or another.
And that’s only if I don’t lose control.
Those might sound like excuses. In a way, they are.
I make excuses for what I am, for what I’m capable of, hoping that humans might one day see me as more than a walking, talking leech. Hoping that they might see me… like she did.
I wasn’t always like this – fearful and uncertain. Once upon a time, I embraced myself.
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