the great divide: the last of the bugs
remember the girl that assigned each song from taylor swift's entire discography to a kotlc character? hi, thats me. and now the illness is back so noah kahan is the next victim.
end of august - sophie
i feel this attitude is so her. especially with how tired she should (realistically) be after all the crap they've put her through. like "i thought getting older meant knowing it's too late to try" followed by "anything you need i will provide" yeah makes sense for the girl who never stops trying to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders no matter how many times she's been wronged while doing so. i also feel like the idea of "everything you see out here will die" is a thought only sophie, growing up human, could have. everyone else is so attached to this idea of eternity when she's never expecting anything to last forever, and she's okay with it. might even be comforting to her.
doors - keefe
this feels self explanatory but ill explain anyways. "i'd hurt anyone i could. anyone who got too close and anyone who wouldn't look." bro. being born into a 100 year storm as in being born as an experimental war ending device and not ever being treated as a child?? also consider "have you ever shared some closeness so exposed and have it spit back by someone" about his MOTHER?? the parent he actually believed loved him? and the entire chorus is so him like he truly does believe the worst about himself and has never tried to prove otherwise to the people close to him so why do they still care to be close???
american cars - dex
dex is so eldest daughter core to me like be serious. i really do believe this song is the way the triplets believe in him to be able to take care of everything. i think we see that a lot in the last few books with how he feels the need to be able to comfort rex and just handle everything for them. he'd take every hit if it meant they'd never be upset again. and being a good older sibling is so dear to me. he really does always come running back whenever they ask, even if he's actively trying to save the world. for personal reasons, i chose to believe thats why he had so little page time in the middle of the series.
downfall - linh
as out of character as i believed tam and linh's estranged relationship in stellarlune to be, i felt that way mostly because there was no lead up to it. i think it makes sense to be layers of animosity between two siblings who've only ever had each other both caring so much for other people after spending some time apart for the first time in their lives. but i do believe that this song really captures linh's attitude towards the situation beneath her anger because yes, she's pissed ("i hope you open up to someone kind and they hold it all against for you" + "rooting for your downfall") but she will always be his home and vice versa ("i'm glad you left but you'll be back" + "i don't mind being your dead end, i think its nice to never move on"). there's nothing either of them could do to change that.
lighthouse - tam
i can't remember if there was any period of time between linh being banished and tam following her to exillium but i imagine during whatever amount of time it took for him to decide to do that his head sounded like this song. "i curse em all out when they fuck up your story, i tell it the way that you told me" reminds me of him saying he'd always refused to play older brother or god forbid only child when she got banished. i think this song is like what he would've envisioned life being like without her before immediately rejecting the idea and following her.
paid time off - tam
i think this whole idea of being so okay with knowing your potential and your future is being wasted because the only thing that matters to you is the person you're with is so incredibly tam considering how powerful he is and everything he didn't second guess throwing away to follow his sister into being banished. "someone once told us there's a world out there but we don't care enough to drive that far" sure, potential is being wasted, but he really couldn't care less.
staying still - dex
i love him so much. and he loves sophie so much, even platonically. "but you could punch me in the gut and it wouldn't hurt like watching you grow smaller on the backroad" "i'm racking my brain for the one line that could change your mind" "and i never ask for much, but i hope that [fitz/keefe/the council] crumbles and gets hit by a tornado" ohhhh he just wants the people he loves to be happy and succeed god forbid a boy cares. and of course "never mind, never mind, oh forget about it. i'll be good, i'll be fine, i can laugh about it" because his best friend is also the person who hurt him the worst. oh im sick.
the great divide - fitz
the keefitz agenda strikes again. are you surprised? you shouldn't be, because "we ain't friends, we're just morons who broke skin in the same spot" is probably a line from the next book. "and i'm finally aware of how shitty and unfair it was to stare ahead like everything was fine" "you know i think about you all the time, and my deep misunderstanding of your life. and how bad it must have been for you back then. and how hard it was to keep it all inside" SHANNON LET THEM TALK IT OUT SHANNON PLEASE i genuinely feel that one brawl-style fight and angry love confessions (platonic or otherwise) would make the series 10x better. the entire chorus is js words i need to hear from them. can we speed up in making the movie or whatever bc i need edits to this song. "i hope you're scared of all the ordinary shit...not your soul, and what [she] might do with it" somebody help me light gisela on fire.
haircut - dex
two angles here. 1) of course, dex's perspective of sophie drifting away from him and only being around to ask for his help. "you're showing up like bad news and leaving like abad dream. help me if it helps you sleep." 2) dex's family's perspective of HIM after he becomes nobility so young and joins the black swan. "got bored of the new hampshire space, you left us for the new york times" + "you ain't a goddamn hero now" just for that split second that he lets it go to his head and makes tech for the councillors without second guessing anything they ask of him and wether it could hurt somebody.
willing and able - fitz
this song is so sibling coded so ofc it actually applies to every character. sophie & amy who could never understand the world she's a part of now and the responsibility she holds. dex & his siblings who he does so much to protect even if it means pushing them away. tam & linh who are struggling to reconcile after the first time in their lives that they've spent time apart and now suddenly can't read each other like they used to. "i wish you could know me. and i wish i could know you much more sometimes. wish i could do nothing with you, sit in the yard while the day dies"
but i chose fitz because it can apply to him in so many different ways. alvar, because i think he knew he wasn't all he was cut out to be far earlier than the actual betrayal took place. biana, because he lied to her for years about his involvement in finding sophie and tried to protect her from conflicts she became directly involved in. and keefe, because there is so much history between the two of them that's piled up like dirty laundry neither seem to want to sort though. "leave it all on the table, and i'll say i love you and mean it this time. say i'm sorry for everything else." although fitz at the end of stellarlune is a lot more emotionally mature, so perhaps "if you're willing, i'm able" does apply here.
dashboard - keefe
sick to my stomach bc this song reminds me so much of myself and now i understand canonical keefe in ways i didn't want to. every line hits tbh. "you always went looking for an easy way out, leave the pain you can't solve with the folks you let down" okay repeat offender of running away. "like we all just move on like we all just forget" actually why is everybody always so normal about him leaving. or are they not normal about it they're just used to it and don't expect any better? "you tell yourself lies and describe them as facts" me when he spent all of stellarlune talking in circles around everything that actually happened in london. "it aint our fault that you're not suddenly somebody else cause you worked on yourself" read: took an unwarranted sabbatical. "turns out that you're just an asshole" yes, unfortunately, and i guess that makes me one too.
23 - biana
oh my god. i really do see the vacker sibling dynamics as fitz always having a sort of understanding that at the least, alvar didn't care about him and biana they way they wanted him to, but biana being so convinced that he did and being SO hurt when the truth actually comes out. "naive to believe you would come back" + "sprinting my way past your bedroom, lifting the weight of you off my mind" + "i still ball up my fists when they mention your name, no one gets to talk shit but the ones you've shit on" so it makes so much sense that she would rather have him stay so far away, dead or alive, and preserve the last few memories she has of him being a good brother. "cause if i never see you again, you could be anything i want"
porch light - sophie
i am so incredibly impressed and also kind of annoyed by her patience with keefe. girl he's done this to you TWICE and ur still in love with him omfg stand up for the love of god. i prefer to interpret her going through all of that with a porch light attitude. being so willing to have him come back home but still so deeply hurt by everything he's done and unwilling to sweep it under the rug completely. "you can only do what pain allows, it ain't up to you to make it out, and there ain't no shame in calling this thing quits" + "poison spreading to my lungs, i ain't holding breath, ain't holding any faith at all" and most of all, the fact that she feels responsible for him leaving. "tell people it ain't me you want, but i guess you're my fault." she's leaving the porchlight on, but yeah, her heart is broken over and over again when he doesn't respond to her transmissions.
deny deny deny - fitz
i genuinely need to see an emotionally charged and violent confrontation between him and keefe like actually and i need it to sound like this. "i wanna see you lose it, i wanna hear you say it" because how are they still calling each other best friends when they refuse to speak to one another. "another thing we don't talk about anymore" + "when i ask about the past you deny." also! the fact that everyone who grew up with them says they're so similar "i wanna know the dark that i share a brain with." also the whole second verse? "we're both exhausted for different reasons, and i USED to care to know your secrets. said you've got a guilty conscience, well i ain't ever seen it, and i'm well prepared to never meet him" i think fitz is the only one that isn't able to forgive keefe completely for everything and god bless him for that.
heading north - linh
this is simply so her missing her brother when he's with the neverseen. "it's gone to shit without you, it was shit before, but at least i had you" also i love the idea of linh naturally carrying so much anger and tam being the only person who can really help her regualte that "i've been taking your advice and trying to scream less" + "need somebody here to talk me out of things i can't undo"
we go way back - biana
dexiana agenda of course. i love the idea of being with dex making her realize luxury and the "vacker legacy" isn't all she wants from life and she's more than ready to leave that and status and nobility behind to be happy and have something real with him. "cause i don't need my name back" + "oh i love you and i can't fake that" + "tell me i don't need options, that i have substance, that i'm important" all she wanted from book one was to be loved and appreciated for who she truly is beyond her name and her pretty face. and nobody could do that more than the boy who never cared for those things in the first place.
spoiled - fitz
i feel like the whole "i'm filling every pause, i'm speaking when i know something" and working through the motions is so him as he's actively trying to work on bringing himself back down to earth and stop wishing for the idealistic version of everything. also, as an alden vacker hater, i really do love the idea of him wanting to be so different from his dad and raise his kids in a home where no legacy haunts them and they're never afraid to make mistakes the way he was. "just so my children get spoiled when they get old, so they can fuck up all they want, and blame it all on their dad." and oh ofc, because baggage "they'll say i wanna be you, but i don't wanna be that"
all them horses - sophie
i can't imagine that she doesn't miss her old life. maybe she never fit in, but it was her LIFE. the parents that raised her for twelve years, the sister she'd always had. i can't imagine that it doesn't get to her sometimes. "you can vanish, yes love, you can try to disappear" + "maybe i'm manic again, but i think this time i'm out for good" + "this ain't mine anymore, i made too much goddamn noise" + "i crossed the county line, i cannot go back, i'm always on my own"
a few of your own - keefe
this is so him at the end of stellarlune. so hesitant to believe that sophie could genuinely love him but realizing she does anyone. "what it means to be alone, i knew well, i knew hell and now i don't" "i was afraid you would wake up, and remember who i am, and remember what i've done" + "i grew up with a feeling, that's what's good must be fleeting, that if i'm happy i'm dreaming, that i'm prepared for you leaving." also him still believing that it won't last too long because there is too many things agaisnt them, too many people out for both of them. "tell me, love, if the devil ever comes to make good on the debts that i owe, wish me well tell the stories i would tell, go ahead make a few of your own" that's such a him thing to say :(
orbiter - linh
i really do love the idea of tam being such an anchoring presence for linh with her volatile powers and crazy parents. "i look back and you laugh and this is hard, but i feel less far." "i clutch my cloth, and i bite my tongue, i'm an aging wolf, who lost the taste for blood." "even anxious pups, need the moon" he's her moon :( but of course good things never truly. last and she will lose him either way.
dan - biana
this song is so genuinely about friends that make life worth living regardless of everything and i think that's so fitting for all of them, but i'd keep biana as a narrator for this one because of "let's talk about death, talk about the long ride home from the grave." i can't imagine how much this poor girl grieved when she thought she was part of the reason sophie died. and then everything with alden? alvar? she's spent the entire series carrying invisible grief that all of them are too young to want to acknowledge. also her having the life so many of them had wanted, wether it be loving parents or siblings or a name or status "you tried to tell me how unfair it was, that i have what i have and you got what you got. said i'd give it all back if i could, i cannot" but overall, "we're so alone, most of the time we don't have anyone" + "you've been the best five minutes of a shitty whole year" is so their friendships.
thank you for listening to my ted talk, more to come.
