people have invented so many different ways of rephrasing "don't transition" to sound plausibly progressive enough to bystanders that they'll think trans people are over-dramatic for reacting negatively to it.
medical transition is permanent so you should really consider it thoroughly and put off trying it unless you know for sure. yes, just keep second guessing yourself. 6 months, 3 years, 20 years...
you might not like how you look. other people might not like how you look. you might not look cis. don't you want to be desirable? do you want to risk feeling worse and more insecure? you look so good now! we think you're so hot right now, and you wouldn't want to change your body and make it not hot to us, right?
you are so valid if you don't transition. you don't need to transition. no one needs to transition. it's just cosmetic, it's just aesthetic, it's all optional and means nothing at all. (no, of course this is unrelated to arguments used for insurance not covering transition, or doctors denying care.)
why do you even want to transition? are you trying to look cis? are you trying to adhere to beauty standards? are you doing this to look hot? that's regressive and outdated and assimilationist. (if you want us to take your politics seriously, you shouldn't transition)
it's a waste of resources/privileged/bourgeois to transition. it's kind of morally suspect that you would transition and still ask for help ever in your life. why should we support someone who's transitioning if they're obviously not oppressed anyway.
DIY HRT is too dangerous. you could hurt your body. you could get arrested. your life will probably end if you take HRT. if you can't access HRT legally, you just shouldn't take it. not for transphobic reasons!! just for your own sake <3
like when will it end
in case anyone has internalized any of this stuff, here's some reminders
Regular puberty is "permanent" in the same way as HRT is. You are not deciding between doing nothing and transition, you are deciding between continuing to live as you are for the rest of your life and never ever experiencing the relief of more grounded embodiment, or making changes that help you feel good. that's the decision you're making.
Liking how you look has much more to do with your own self esteem and social environment than it does with your actual physical body. Beauty standards are culturally and economically constructed and in constant fluctuation. If you feel better in your body and intentionally seek out trans-positive (& fat positive, & disability positive, & Black positive, & so on) social spaces, you will love how you look no matter what you look like. People who hold desirability politics over you to make you feel like you're choosing between your bodily comfort/relief and interpersonal love are objectifying you. They have no right over your body, and their opinion of your body should not be the standard for when transition is right for you.
The right to transition is about bodily autonomy. It is true that there are trans people who genuinely don't want to medically transition, in the same way it is true that there are pregnant people who don't want to get an abortion. The fact that someone else doesn't want a medical procedure has literally no bearing on whether or not that medical procedure is important and necessary for you, and your survival and well being. Further, anyone who constantly holds up those who don't want transition care as a way to imply you shouldn't need it is suggesting that no one needs it, which leads to the belief that this care should not be provided. And of course, if someone is holding up trans people who literally do need this care and just cannot access it in this way, please view it with the same level of cynicism as you would someone holding up stories of pregnant people who couldn't access abortion and survived as inspirational instead of deeply traumatizing. Trans people should be able to access the medical care we need. No one should be forced into procedures they don't want, and no one should be forced to go without procedures they desire and need. That's bodily autonomy.
Listen. Medical transition is one of the most demonized, gate-kept, surveilled, criminalized, denigrated, and socially punished gendered actions one can undertake. Please be so serious right now. Pay attention to how structures of gendered oppression function before you start trying to argue that transition is somehow regressive or assimilation. No one wants trans people to transition, they want us to detransition and recloset ourselves or die.
The idea that medical care is a "waste of resources" is ableist. The idea that being trans and accessing transition is privileged or "bourgeois decadence" is absolute reactionary nonsense. So many trans people have to crowdfund or do sex work or remain in medical debt and poverty to access medical care. There are incarcerated trans women trying to give themselves transition care with no medical training or supplies because they are being denied care. Transition is pursued by extremely marginalized trans people, because it is needed care, and people who cannot access it often die trying to. Transition is not a luxury.
Taking drugs has risks, especially when they're illegal drugs. That's why harm reduction practices exist. If you are talking about DIY HRT, it is very transparent when you are talking from a harm reduction perspective (e.g. how to do it safely, explaining how it works, reducing risk of arrest, etc.) and when you are talking about it like a cop (if anyone offers you a drug they want to kill you, you'll ruin your health forever if you take drugs, cops are everywhere and know everything so you should never ever break the law, etc.).
