“I’m really not okay and I don’t know what to do anymore. There’s nothing left to keep me going and all the people around me are tired of me.”
— I don’t know how to go on

ellievsbear
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@0ld-timer
“I’m really not okay and I don’t know what to do anymore. There’s nothing left to keep me going and all the people around me are tired of me.”
— I don’t know how to go on
God I’m literally so bored
Im sorry for not being who you want, but you will never know how much I try.
If you’ve had people leave or make you feel unloved because of how your illness affects you, know that there are people out there that will love you whether you’re sick or well. Between the pain and hurt, there are good people. You’ll find them or they’ll find you, but don’t give up hope.
my mind 24/7
Bipolar disorder is fucking horrible it’s not just “oh I’m happy one minute I’m angry the next!” it’s literally hell let me tell you some shit:
Bipolar is getting excited and going on manic shopping sprees only to then regret everything you’ve purchased, and now you’ve lost interest in everything you’ve bought
Bipolar is suddenly crying for no reason, and when people ask you what’s wrong, your lack of understanding only makes things worse
Bipolar is suddenly becoming very passionate about a project, idea, or even person and then spending a long period of time obsessing over it only to suddenly lose interest
Bipolar is a messy bedroom cluttered unfinished projects and guilt
Bipolar is accidentally becoming too emotional around friends or loved ones and scaring them, pushing them away when all you wanted was to bring them closer
Bipolar is not having any set group of close friends, due to the paranoia of them talking behind your back about your episodes
Bipolar is lying on the cold bathroom floor in a friend’s house or unfamiliar place trying to calm down because you’re too afraid to have an episode in front of other people
Bipolar is being afraid to show your emotions because you know if you open up to someone, you might start crying or panicking
Bipolar is making too many promises during your manic states that can’t be delivered when you’re down and depressed, leaving many to think you’re “flaky”
Bipolar is not knowing if you’re reacting appropriately or overreacting to a situation because you’ve never had a “normal” emotional scale
Bipolar is having no one taking your disorder seriously, including your parents, who may or may not still think you’re just experiencing mood swings
“demons in my head,” acrylic on canvas, February 2018
(don’t remove my caption!)
A comic about controlling your symptoms and trying to get other people to understand why it’s so hard to do so, in goo form
the hardest part about recovery is how scared you become of your own feelings, because they could mean you getting right back to where you started. feeling slightly anxious or sad, even when it’s perfectly ok to feel so, feels like you can fall back right into a crisis and then right back to your darkest place that you worked so hard to get out of.
Extremely
please don’t lose interest in me
monster