I just need to vent. Don't even read this.
So this week was hell on so many levels. Everyday it got worse. It's changed my view on some of the people I care about the most.
Monday - Pretty good. I actually thought I was finally going to have a good week.
Tuesday - State testing started. I thought I did decent. Then, after school I met my best friend, I'm going to call her Lisa (though that's not her actual name) on this post, on skype. She had just made one so it was pretty fun. Then, she started calling people, because she thought she found a way to add people to our chat. Well, I suggest the guy I like, let's call him Michael even though that's not his actual name, because he was the person I thought was most likely to have a skype in our friend circle. So we do, and it turns out he does. So, she trys to add him to our chat. Well it turns out, none of us had subscriptions or whatever. But guess what? Lisa and Michael were able to see eachother with like the webcam, but I couldn't see them or they couldn't see me. I could only hear them and they could only hear me. It sucked, since I didn't get to see him at all that day, and seeing him always makes my day. So we were talking, but slowly him and Lisa when into their own conversation. Keep in mind, Lisa knows I like Michael. So Lisa is going on about his room and how cool it is. It pissed me off, because I have never seen his room, but I have pictured it. Then she starts talking about how one day she should come over. THEN she goes "Hey I should come over tomorrow!". They start making plans and stuff. The entire time I'm screaming "I WANNA COME!" and no one says anything to me. But when I finally shut up cause I was so mad, Lisa goes "Are you still there?". That made me furious. Then when Michael and Lisa had to go, they said goodbye to eachother, but not to me!! I actually cried myself to sleep.
**Also on Tuesday the public channel for our town came to our school to film a speech the mayor was making, and the club I'm in was asked to stand around the mayor while he talked. I was not dressed for the occaison (this was going to be on tv!!) and my hair looked TERRIBLE. Though, I did feel bad for the teacher that ran the club, because no one told her about this, and in the morning she had her hair in a braid, but in the middle of the day she took it out, not knowing she was going to be on tv, so her hair was all messy. I felt really bad because normally she's really pretty. Then later, it turns out we forgot to get one kid that was in the club for the filming, so he called me up screaming at me because he thought it was my falut. That day was terrible.
Wednesday - Not nearly as many things happened to day, but the one thing that did killed me inside. So you know how on facebook there is that game where you answer questions about your frieds and they have to unlock them to find out who said that? Well, on Sunday I had found there were a lot of mean answers about me. So I started unlocking them. The question I chose to unlock today was "Do you think (my name) has a cute profile picture?" And the answer was no. I unlocked it, and guess who said that?? Michael!!!! That hurt real bad. At the moment, I was skyping Lisa though, so I didn't completely break down. But I tell her about it, and she seemed almost happy that he said that about me. I think she secretaly likes him and it's killing me. But yeah, I am still trying to gather up enough courage to ask him about it, but I probably never will.
Thursday - Oh, Thursday. It was the math part of state testing. Two and a half hours of it. That was bad. Then, it was Lisa's birthday. She was already mad at me when I got to her house because I was a few minutes late. It wasn't my fault, it was my mom's! Anyway, then when we were eating pizza my friend, lets call her Ashley, told me she had to tell me something. At school that day, her and Michael and a bunch of other people were called down to the office, because tomorrow there was going to be a prom for the mentally challenged students (I was also going) and they hadn't handed in their permission slips yet. So while her and Michael were standing there, Ashley goes, "Michael you are taking me to the special prom!". Now I am totally fine with this, since number one Ashley would never try to hurt me or anything, and number two Ashley is a lesbian. Anyway, she gets back to homeroom (That's where we all stayed after testing was done.) She's telling her friend, Jake lets call him, about how she is going to go with Michael to the special prom. Then he goes, "Oh wouldn't (my name) be mad?". Ashley freaked. She's like "WHO TOLD YOU?!?" and he goes "Michael!". So yeah, Michael probably went around and told all his little friends I liked him. They probably laughed and stuff too. That like ruined my day, but I didn't want to act all depressed at Lisa's party. So after we hung out outside for a while, we went back inside and watched TV. Me and Ashley decided we were going to look through the pictures on my phone, and so Lisa and another girl that was there looked through the pictures on her phone. Well what do you know, she has pictures of Michael on her phone. So she starts describing them I go "Let me see!" and she refused to show me. When she finally showed me one I asked her to send it to me. She wouldn't, and we argued for a minute or two. Then, I went back to my phone. Me and Ashley came up to a pretty funny picture of my brother, so we start laughing. Lisa goes "Let me see!" and I told her no because she wouldn't send me the picture of Michael. She whined and complained and was like, "But it's my birthday!". I susprised myself, and still refused, because I knew she would do the exact same thing. For the rest of the party we didn't really talk, and I was realived when it was finally time to go home.
Friday - Well it was the last day of state testing, and it was the science portion. I thought I would do ok, but about half the questions on there I guessed. Recently, I have had issues about not being good enough. Knowing that I did terrible on this test made me really depressed. But when it was all over, our homeroom teacher brought in bagels and cookies and we had a little party. I was talking to my friends, lets call them Samantha and Andrew. Samantha is my second best friend, so she knows everything about the whole Michael thing. Andrew also knows the whole Michael thing because he is my best guy friend, and since he is friends with Michael he sometimes tells me stuff Michael says about me. He swore what he told me and Samantha was all he knew, but for some reason I had a feeling it wasn't. So me and Samantha start pressuring him to tell us everything else he knows. Well, we got one thing out of him. One day, while he and Michael were talking, their conversation went into the school dance in June. (I am going with Michael as a friend.) You know what Michael says? He said I am taking the dance way too seriously! And Andrew agreed! Why he would say that is beyond me. I'm taking the dance too seriously? It's the fucking school dance! Samantha had to hold me back - I was really going to slap Andrew. Luckily the bell rang at that moment so I got to go home.
Then, I had to get ready for the special prom thing. I was really happy I was helping out, but I really didn't want to weaar a dress. Nonetheless, when I got there they put us all right to work. It was really fun, espically when we saw the kids faces light up when they saw the room. But then, when it was dinner time, they asked us to serve punch. I had punch in my hand, and I asked Andrew for a hug because I didn't feel that good. I thought I had the punch up high enough, but I didn't, and he like pushed into the punch and it got on my chest, right before my dress. My friends and I ran to the bathroom, since I thought he runied my dress, but it turns out it didn't go down into my dress. I was still mad though. The rest of the night was really fun. I met Michael's mom and sister because they were helping out, and they are just as nice as he is. Overall, that was pretty fun.
After all this happened, I still am in love with Michael and Lisa is still one of my best friends. What's wrong with me??
Ah that felt good to get off my chest. Don't worry, I have posts ready for tomorrow.