Deathless Aphrodite

bi | they/them | personal tag is #14exquisitetalks | let me know if you want something tagged

[princessfag]

First of all I knew it was a trap second of all I’m having fun under this bucket eating snacks

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

When I was in therapist school one of my profs said, "A lot of trauma needs 10 or 20 years before it's really ready to be worked through. Maybe longer." And at the time I was like: Oh Shit. I planned to be over my trauma and all better by the time I graduated!

Anyway, that was 10 or 20 years ago and jesus fuck, she was right.

[plasmalink]

Pronoun roles on discord servers aren't a bad idea, but there is the fun implication that you can ping an entire pronoun set.

Hey I got a problem with something, this is an all they/thems on deck situation

[plasmalink]

genuinely awesome

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[enthusispastic]

"Go ham" is an offensive choice of words :/

[butch-of-the-blades]

imagine the part of the story where miss piggy and her crew land on circe’s island, and circe turns the muppets into humans instead of pigs🤣

[charl0ttan]

[frontmansdog]

there’s a t-shirt that says “I survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my life” and yeah I still think about it

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[jewish-joy]

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

[ironychan]

The Muppet Odyssey would not only have the Nobody joke, it would run that shit into the ground.

[ironychan]

They blind him with a pie to the face.

[thoodleoo]

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

[thoodleoo]

catch me on the playground playing sacrifices

[redstonedust]

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

[sigynpenniman]

Nobody does weather like Florida

[dragon-in-a-fez]

funniest yet most enlightening conversation on this whole social media ban topic, by two girls sat across from me on the bus the other day:

"what do they mean by social media? does Roblox count? what about all the stuff I've built?"

"you'll be fine, doesn't your icloud say you're 34?"

"oh my god they're even banning Facebook. who the fuck is on Facebook"

[drwcn]

stood in line today to buy some fast food (delicious delicious fried chicken) for myself and a friend. theres an older man in front of me, probably 60+, holding a plastic tot bag (you know the kind that holds groceries) and waiting his turn. first some dumb uni boys cut in front of us (not on purpose, these boys are just... not conscentious, the line was not obvious and they didnt think to ask), and the poor man and I locked eyes and I knew he was upset but he didnt say anything so I told the uni guys to line up. they did. but then it came time for the older guy to order and he didnt have any card. he only had cash and this fast food place didn't accept cash.

im not a particularly touchy feely person. im not. ive seen the worst kind of things happen to people on the daily. but lemme tell you in that moment when I watched that man fumble with his twenty dollar bill trying to pay for a ten dollar meal, my heart was in pieces.

it was so demoralizing, so dehumanizing. the fact that he had the money but couldn't buy the meal. for medical residency reasons I live in city center close to the university hospitals, and like many metropolitan cities, there is a homeless epidemic. and these people often dont have card. just cash. now this older gentleman does not appear obviously homeless but he's clearly not well off. so I paid for his food.

and he tried so hard to look through his bag for money (I can hear the coins clinking) to scrape together enough change to pay me back some amount.

there was no way on earth I could accept his money. I had the means to help him. And my heart was broken for him.

I dont really know what I'm trying to say except im so sad for him. and so fucking pissed off at the increasingly digital way we handle money at food establishments. he had the money, just not the 'right kind of money'. what the hell. it should be illegal for food establishment to deny customer the right to use cash. because it is very literally a special type of class discrimination.

I had my fried chicken. it was very good. I hope that older man's fried chicken was delicious too.

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[kroovv]

Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

[sweetwithheatwriting]

@aimmyarrowshigh @copperbadge @hellenhighwater

[copperbadge]

GASP, a sneasuring tape.

[luminarai]

*david attenborough voice* truly the most dangerous predator in the animal kingdom