19 days

til i die

[19daystilidie]

fuck what you heard

[19daystilidie]

rest in peace lil peep you didn’t deserve this i been struggling with depression but your music made me feel less alone and ima stay strong for you and just know wherever you are know how many people you touched and we will all remember you <3

[19daystilidie]

ciggies and dream pop or dream pop and ciggies?

hmm

[19daystilidie]

when you look high as shit but it’s just sleep deprivation and stress and the heroin from two days ago

[19daystilidie]

Weed vs heroin.... why not both?

[19daystilidie]

ODE TO LIBRARIAN

Poem starts after the picture @librarianwardrobe

Who are you? How did I only just find you?

Life is so unfair. You could be in Illinois, or Ohio,

or Nevada. And I’m here full of not knowing. Your black dress

hanging below knees is a curtain of shadowed delight. Hair like ribbons

of eternal Autumn. But soon September will end, soon the turkeys will

be slaughtered, and never will you be mine. I dream of you unfolding

my scarred pages, blowing the dust off my cover, tucking me under

your arm. Strange, wondrous librarian, if you do read this, 

send me a message - right here on Tumblr - let’s talk.

@librarianwardrobe

[19daystilidie]

I SENT THIS TO @LIBRARIANWARDROBE AND THEM MOFOS BLOCKED ME, Y’ALL SAVIN LITERATURE BUT YALL BREAKIN MY HEART

[19daystilidie]

yall got me fucked up

[19daystilidie]

sorry i was talkin to my marijuanas, them shits got me fucked up

[19daystilidie]

yall got me fucked up

[19daystilidie]

fuck being sober

[19daystilidie]

New poem: Rush

Rush, waves pour in,

the butterflies can fly again

the flowers can feel the wind again

the sky can become space again

ahh... heroin

[19daystilidie]

Summer of Dying

Plastic embryo of platonic alabaster

tuna cans swerving in calligraphic unknowings.

Psychic lovers unnerved by the very essence

of a plutonium December. Flowering blooms

of a secondary idolatry. Machine you are,

Christ all-marijuana-mighty I hope the Steelers

win the Superbowl in 32 years. 

[19daystilidie]

NEW POEM: “BITCH”

HELLO TUMBLR, NEW POEM! WORKED HARD ON THIS ONE, ENJOY!

“BITCH”

You’re a bitch,

bitch. 

[19daystilidie]

ODE TO LIBRARIAN

Poem starts after the picture @librarianwardrobe

Who are you? How did I only just find you?

Life is so unfair. You could be in Illinois, or Ohio,

or Nevada. And I’m here full of not knowing. Your black dress

hanging below knees is a curtain of shadowed delight. Hair like ribbons

of eternal Autumn. But soon September will end, soon the turkeys will

be slaughtered, and never will you be mine. I dream of you unfolding

my scarred pages, blowing the dust off my cover, tucking me under

your arm. Strange, wondrous librarian, if you do read this, 

send me a message - right here on Tumblr - let’s talk.

@librarianwardrobe

[19daystilidie]

NEW POEM: DREAM

I smoke marijuana and fantasize

of riding sharks through

the Galapagos. I want to resurrect

Bin Laden and ejaculate over his face,

make him swallow. Then burn him

and smoke his ashes. I pack another

bowl and inhale. I want to dissolve 

and smoke myself. 

[19daystilidie]

Vitamin

I swallow vitamin D 

pills. I take other pills:

painkillers, anti-depressan

ts. I want to eat pills the way yaks defend

their children: with force and utter 

devotion. You pulverize my body and

translate me into unspeakable languages,

encapsulate me into what cannot be spoken

of or contained within. I dress in women’s underwear

and sniff pantyhose although I am a man. You will

not let me be what I must unbecome.

[19daystilidie]

NEW POEM: MAYONNAISE

Your face is white, America’s standard

of beauty. Apple cores litter

sidewalks, the bums pick them

up and gobble. And you, lie scattered.

Tell me, what did you do

to yourself? When did you unbecome?

Who are you, who are you, who

aren’t you? Is Bin Laden still alive? Did he

die for freedom? And yet you are,

and yet you will never be.

[19daystilidie]

new poem: september

it is not september

it is not august

nor is it january

and it is not december.

it is not february

and you are not here.

it is not october

it is not saturday

it is not sunday

and it is not any day

without you.