The X Materials

Minsan X-Men, madalas kung anu-ano!

[21stxavier]

The Green Ticket

The legs of a reinforced concrete table are all worn out, showing the poking steel bars that sometimes my shorts get caught up with. A leaf of a narra tree — which is in itself not enough to shade us sweating children while playing under the direct sunlight — slowly falls on my shoulder. I halted from my play chase, looked at it, picked it up, stared at it intently and suddenly it brought me to an obscure place.

I was lying on my back. The feeling underneath is cold, bearable to say the least, but it's like floating on a galactic sea and it doesn't get any hotter. True enough the sight above is a night sky full of stars. I don't think I've seen anything like this before. It seems like I was not on Earth anymore. There are so many questions in my head but I can't seem to take my eyes off this wonderful view. There are no motions. Everything feels so serene. I knew I was alone in that vast ocean. And the thought kind of overwhelms me. Then I felt an itch in my right hand — Ah, the leaf. I still am holding it. I can feel it in my right fist, grasping it tightly. When I did remember, I raised it and focused my gaze upon it. Immediately, I was transported to a familiar sensation of riding a bus on a bumpy road.

I looked at the window. I saw mountains. I saw the sun just rising between them. And then I felt the leaf once more, in my hands. I am expecting it to bring me to another strangely familiar scene. But as I stared at it, I was still going through the motions of the wheels of this old bus. Five minutes later, I'm still in the same scene. Maybe this is the reality, my reality. For a moment I was confused. Maybe I just dozed off and I was just having a dream and/or parts of my memories simply rose. I shrugged it off and then I felt sleepy again. Maybe this time — hopeful — I will be transported to a boat with myself rowing it, or to a bar with a long-lost friend, or to my deathbed suddenly becoming an 80-year old man with a heart disease, or to my mother's arms waiting for her to say my first word. Or maybe... just maybe on a phone typing this on Notes. Time check: 00:54. 26th of December, Friday.

[21stxavier]

On My Way Home 1: Occupied

My shift just ended.

I was packing my things when my phone lit up showing a message from my friend, Kurt.

"Do you need a ride?"

Well, I don't want to turn down his kindness and we never saw each other for a month now so I guess it's OK. I picked up my phone and I was about to reply "yes" but the view painted outside the large window pane caught my attention.

Beautiful droplets of water sprinkles on the glass. It's raining slightly. It's a rare view I see these days when summer is at its peak.

"Sorry, got plans. Maybe next time." I replied.

I am planning to take a local bus and so I am on my way to the station. The sound the raindrops make as they come in contact with my transparent umbrella is still one of my top-10-of-the-most-satisfying-sounds-that-tickle-my-mind list.

As I approach the station, I immediately noticed the queue of people waiting for the next bus. I went straight to the end of the line.

A pluviophile myself can't help but stare intently at the light drizzle. I can't wait to watch it by the bus' window seat. I will surely get the window seat, nobody can stop me, I said to myself.

That train of thought suddenly stopped when I head a fairly familiar sound when a certain something falls on the ground not from a very high place. When I looked at the direction from which I think it came, I see that it's a bag on the ground. I don't know what is in there but I guess it's heavy. I know it fell from the hands of a female student next to me as she picked it up with her right hand. She didn't get it right away though and continued to type in her phone on her other hand for a few seconds.

The queue is not actually a straight line. It's winding because the loading area is crowded and it's always like that. That is why I can see the other passengers and sometimes I can't help but observe.

The bus arrived and the line is moving. But seeing how many have arrived before me. I don't think I don't make the cut for this one. Hopefully, it's still raining by the time I get to sit.

Oops, I thought to myself as I saw another thing fall onto the ground across the hall. This time it's a guy seriously staring at his phone. Oh well, I should have known.

Nowadays, it's so impressive how much a small device can affect our daily lives. Everyone is always occupied. It takes so much of our time and it makes us lost in a different realm. And even I was guilty of that. *sighs* I don't know anymore if this technological advancement is good or not.

And so this technological advancement vibrated. I unlocked it only to find that Kurt replied to my last text.

"Oh yeah? Alright. Next time it is. I hope you're not forgetting what you have to do on Saturday."

I smirked and texted him back. "I just had it done today."

Before I knew it ,the last bus went on its way and the next bus is already in position. The queue progressed.

"Excuse me." A middle-aged man approached me reaching out his hand to me and asked "Is this yours?" It's my handkerchief.

"Yes, it's mine. Thank you." I said as I take it.

It must have fallen when I texted Kurt. I guess I am pretty occupied today too.

[21stxavier]

Mga Artikulong Ipa-publish Pa Lang

Gusto ko lang ilista yung mga titles na biglang pumasok sa isip ko na gusto kong gawin after 2 long years na hindi pagsusulat dito sa tumblr.

1. Kakaibang Amoy ng Manga

Tungkol ‘to sa di pangkaraniwang amoy ng papel na ginagamit sa mga manga lalo na yung mga manga na sobrang tagal na. Uhhmm... Heavan!

2. Mga Librong Hindi Ko Pa Binabasa

Ito naman, tungkol sa ‘kabaragbag’ na librong meron ako, mapahardcover man, magazines, mga nakasale na nabili sa NBS na hanggang ngayon, tengga. Kung di man naka-stack lang, sinimulan pero hindi tinapos. Jusq... Ang dam nito.

3. Children of Storm

This one naman is about the weird pattern of names I observed sa mga pinsan at pamangkin ko. Sobrang lalamig ng mga pangalan. Bagay sa panahon ngayon. 

4. Ang Mag-Ama

Ito naman yung “spin-off” ng isa sa mga naging kwento ko na din dito dati. Yung ‘Ang Mag-Ina.’ Tungkol naman ito sa isang batang nagsuka sa likod ko at yung reaksyon nung tatay noong nangyari ito. Abangan din kung paano ko na-handle ang gano’ng sitwasyon.

5. The Crush Memo Parts 4 and 5

Abangan din ang pagpapatuloy ng The Crush Memo. Tumanda na si Marira pero si Kringkro padin ang nagpapatibok ng puso niya.

The Crush Memo (Literal Na Seen Zone): https://21stxavier.tumblr.com/post/155806304875/the-crush-memo-literal-na-seen-zone

The Crush Memo 2 (Si Marira atang kanyang Facebook Timeline): https://21stxavier.tumblr.com/post/155933817620/the-crush-memo-2-si-marira-at-ang-kanyang

The Crush Memo 3 (Kasawian at Pighati): https://21stxavier.tumblr.com/post/156203404895/the-crush-memo-3-kasawian-at-pighati

[21stxavier]

Sinong Sisisihin?

Ang hirap no? ‘Pag alam mo at aminado kang ikaw yung mali, ikaw yung may kasalanan, wala kang masisising iba kundi ang sarili mo.

Wala kang magagawa kundi tanggapin na mali ka. Eh kung ayaw mo, sino ang sisisihin?

Nitong mga nakaraang araw, nade-depress ako kasi yung account ko sa online job na pinapasukan ko ay na-suspend. At sa loob ng isang linggo, hindi ko siya pwedeng gamitin. Halos dalawang buwan na rin akong nagtatrabaho dito at maraming mga nangyari bago ako nagseryoso sa trabahong ito dahil punung-puno ako ng doubts sa sarili ko, sa will ni Lord, sa proseso at sa timing ng lahat (na gusto kong idetalye sa ibang pagkakataon). Noong napanatag na ako, nag-decide na akong paglaanan siya ng time at effort. Iba rin kasi yung naibigay na kaliwanagan ng isip sa akin ng mga nangyari bago ako makadating sa kung saan man ako ngayon. Kinwestiyon ko ang way ni Lord, nag-doubt ako sa kakayahan niya. Pero kahit ganon, hindi niya ako binigo.

Napakabuti ng Panginoon pero kapag nakikita niyang nawawala ka sa daang pinroject niya sa harapan mo na kung saan doon ka dapat diretsong naglalakad, pahihintuin ka muna niya para makita mo ulit kung saan ba talaga ang tunay na direksyon kung saan ka niya dadalhin. Napakabuti ng Panginoon kaya nangyari sa ‘kin ‘to.

Hindi ko masisisi ang Diyos dahil sa una pa lang, ito na yung will niya. Patuloy niya akong kinakausap na gawin ang tama, huwag magmadali, at huwag masilaw sa pera pero nanaig sa’kin yung mindset na hindi niya ikinatuwa. Kaya ako lang talaga ang dapat sisihin.

[21stxavier]

Loading 77%

Nakakalat lang sa tabi ko ang mga libro na ginagamit ko magreview. May mga modules akong sinasagutan, nag-aaral para sa isang exam. Ikatlong araw ko nang tuluy-tuloy na nagrereview pero hindi ko naman masyadong sineseryoso. Heto nga ako at nagsusulat pa ng kung anu-anong naiisip ko.Minsan ay nag-stream pa nga ako ng mga anime para libangin ang sarili ko matapos kong sagutan ang ilan sa mga tanong na alam ko sa module. Habang nakaupo ako sa labas namin at dinadama ang napakalamig na hangin, hindi ko maiwasang magkaroon ng pagtataka kung bakit napakasipag ko. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko ay hindi ko masyadong sineseryoso pero hindi kasi ako ganito kasipag mag-aral noon. Oo, masipag na akong mag-aral noon pa pero hindi ko pa alam noon kung bakit ko ito ginagawa. Hindi tulad ngayon na meron na akong gustong pag-alayan.

Civil Engineering talaga ako sa totoong buhay. Marami na siguro sa inyo ang nalilito dahil sa napakaraming artikulo at mga kwento ang naka-publish dito pero gusto kong magpakilala. Alam ko namang wala akong masyadong reader pero kung sakaling meron ma. Kung bibisitahin nyo yung twitter account ko. Mababasa ninyo sa bio ang ilan sa mga katagang nagpapaliwanag ng karaniwang buhay ko, mga ginagawa ko araw-araw, hilig ko, kung sino ako. Isa sa mga kataga roon ang “civil”.

Malapit na rin ang board exam. Pero bago iyon ay maggagraduate muna ako at mga ka-batch ko at sabay-sabay kaming magrereview sa loob ng 6 na buwan sa Maynila. Naghahanda na rin ako ng mga kakailanganin kong mga gamit sa lilipatan namin, mapa-academic related man, yung mga reviewers o lectures na dapat dalhin ganyan o kaya naman yung mga kinakailangan lang na dalhin para mabuhay doon. 

Sa totoo lang, nung una hindi ko pa alam na may board exam ang pinasukan kong course. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang board exam. Matunog iyon noon sa mga payo ng mga kakilala ko pero hindi ko pinapansin. Akala ko kasi isang ordinaryong exam lang iyon tulad ng entrance exam sa college. Habang nag-aaral ako nagkakaroon ako ng mas malalim na idea tungkol sa board exam hanggang sa pinangarap ko na mag-topnotcher sa boards. Noong una hindi ko pa pinapangarap, okay lang na pumasa lang basta maging engineer. Pero kung mangangarap na lang tayo bakit hindi pa para abutin ang mga bituin di ba?

Minsan mape-pressure ka nalang dahil napakaraming mga tao ang naghahangad na mag-top ka pero ako kasi yung tao na hindi driven ng pressure ng iba kundi na-iinspire ako pag may mga taong nagsasabing kaya ko lalo na yung mga tao na alam kong sincere na naghahangan akong magtagumpay. Sinulat ko pala ang article na ito para sa future self ko. In case na mawalan ako ng inspiration o makalimutan ko yung mga motivation ko, babalikan ko lang ito, babasahin ulit para mabuhay muli yung kagustuhan ko na magtagumpay para mas lalo akong magpursige sa gusto kong gawin. 

Kapag estudyante ka na nag-e-excel sa academics tulad ko, maraming mga teacher ang magbibigay ng payo sa yo tungkol sa maraming bagay. Pwedeng sa future mo, sa magiging career mo o wag na tayong lumayo, sa board exam na lang. Isang prof ang nagsabi sa akin na kung gusto ko daw mag-topnotcher, kumuha daw ako ng dalawang review center. Sa totoo nyan, wala pa sa isip ko na mag-dalawa dahil gusto kong sundin yung payo sakin ng senior ko na engineer ngayon na mag-isang review center na lang para maraming time sa self study. Itong prof na ito ay isa sa mga guro na nakapalagayan ko ng loob. Siya yung prof na gusto mong nagtuturo at walang excuse para hindi pasukan ang klase. Magdadalawa ba ako? Hindi ko pa alam. Isang prof ko din ang nakausap ko nito lang. Pero instead na payo, more on encouragement ang kanyang binigay. Kakatapos lang noon ng AE Boards at isa sa mga naging estudyante nya sa parehong school na pinapasukan ko ang nag-top notcher. Nabalitaan ko iyon at nalaman na siya pala ay nakakalaban ko na dati sa mga quiz bee competition sa school namin. Promising, nananalo. Isang araw nagkausap kami ng prof na ito. Tinanong nya ako kung nabalitaan ko nga ang bagay na yon. Sumagot naman ako ng opo. Sinabi nya na na-estudyante nya ang ang topnotcher na ito at ineencourage nya ako na magsipag lalo dahil naniniwala sya na ako din ay magtatop dahil ayon sa kanya ay mas magaling daw ako dito. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng pressure kundi motivation na mas lalo pag magsipag dahil may naniniwala sa kakayahan ko. Marami pang mga prof ang pabirong sinasabi sa amin na dapat meron daw magtop sa amin. Minsan tinatawanan lang namin pero nakakapressure talaga. 

Pero higit sa mga gusto kong pag-alayan, gusto kong gawin ito para din sa sarili ko. Gusto ko ding maging author ng mga civil engineering books tulad nina Sir Realuyo, Sir Baldo, Sir Suyat at iba pa. Simula pa kasing nung bata ako, mahilig na akong magsulat. Mapa-kwento man, nobela, at script na iba-iba ang tema ng istorya o mga essay or opinion ay sinusulat ko. Mahilig din ako sa mga libro. Kung noon ay nangongolekta ako ng mga manga, fiction at mythology, ngayon ay sumasaya ako pag nakikita kong naka-ayos at nakapatong-patong ang mga libro nina Besavilla, Gillesania at Pytel. Gusto ko ding maging tulad nila. Ang sarap siguro sa feeling na nakakapagbahagi ka ng mga kaalaman sa iba, yung naiintindihan nila yung lesson dahil sa mga libro mo o makapagbigay ng inspirasyon sa mga undergrad na nangangarap din. Ito talaga ang pinakadahilan kung bakit ko gustong mag-topnotcher. Pag naging topnotcher ako, mas magiging confident ako na gumawa ng mga libro at ang gusto kong maging unang target ay mga quizzers na tulad ko ay nagnanais na makipagsabayan sa mga quizzer ng ibang university na nakakareceive ng training. Susunod noon ay yung mga civil engineering student na gustong mas mapadali ang buhay nila... sa civil engineering. :D

[21stxavier]

FIRST WIND

It was a rainy and windy morning. I am looking outside by the window and deciding what should I do today. I’m thinking whether I will watch documentaries while having my warm milk or if I will just go to bed and listen to some music.

Lately, I’ve been so happy that I don’t know if it’s brought about by the suspension of classes due to a strong typhoon or because of the dark feeling I’m getting from the whether itself. I still drink milk even I’m 20, but that’s because I needed to. I can’t sleep well at night and they say milk helps so I’m trying it. Watching documentaries is something that I cannot miss within the day so I probably will do that anyway even if I choose the second option.

I’ve been awoken from sleep because of some noise I hear. A noise that is music to my ears, the sound of trees reacting to the force of the winds banging the roof of our house. The sound of leaves swaying with the motion of the overpowering cold winds.

I went to our terrace bringing my laptop. I opened it and browsed for Ancient Aliens. I picked a random episode and sat down on the floor while facing a green-painted wall. Suddenly, I felt chills in my back, the air is freezing. I didn’t know that the wind is telling me to look at my back and see a scene that I’ve been longing to witness.

The leaves are dancing under the dark clouds, and the trunks are swaying beside the other. I like these kind of scenes. I didn’t know that we have such area where the nature rules. I am always staying indoors that’s why I haven’t appreciated this much.

I’m just amazed so I took a video of it with my phone. As I record the scene, I stumbled upon an interesting thought.

---

SECOND WIND

Behind those trees is a mystery to me. I’ve been living here for 2 decades but I still don’t know what would I see if I go there. One thing is for sure, it’s not a flat land. 

When I was in the 2nd grade, I caught a glimpse of a pit that is I suspect is connected to the area up close. Right after the afternoon class, together with my friends, we decided to explore the area near our community that is like a part of a forest.  

But that was a long time ago. I am not certain if that really had happen. But to share this vivid occasion, I will try to remember the details as clearer as possible. The following event shocked me and my friends.

The sun is setting when we arrived there. There is no storm but it’s windy. The air is welcoming us four as we walk through the forest. Not far from where we are, we saw a human figure in a small hut shadowed by a fire light. He is just a silhouette and we didn’t see his face. He walk past the window that’s why we saw him. None of us knew that someone lives here. One of us suggested to greet the old man. But two of us, including I, were scared to go. We talked and just decided to go farther. 

We walked and we traversed the forest until the hut is out of our sight. And then we found a pit with a creek that’s slowly flowing down a channel. The pit is high, 2-storey high I guess. This very same creek is I think that flows to the pit behind the trees. Some suggested to actually go down but I refused to do it. I don’t know but I am not comfortable with the ambiance of the place. It’s cold and it’s dark plus the thought that we are being followed.

We both agree to leave the place soon as I butted in saying excuses or stuff. As we travel along the very same path we traveled when we go forth, I noticed a strange thing. We haven’t passed the hut of the old man. There is no light either. The rest of the gang didn’t notice it. I didn’t mentioned it so that they won’t be scared. 

Ever since then I never attempted to go back there at all. Even now, I still am held back by this fear. I guess the winds are telling me to go.

[21stxavier]

Everytime

I was in the verge of closing my eyes ready to enter another realm exclusive only to my knowledge as I listen to Ariana Grande when something came up.

 For the record, I can't really explain what I had in mind that night so I don't blame anybody for not understanding what I'm about to establish here. 

Might as well let us start this by setting an analogy. If you are a student, you tend to create a routine to fit your schedule. Say, you are a morning person then suddenly you got a night shift, it's difficult for you to adjust according to the time when you're going to be conscious to go to school or when you're supposed to be asleep. If you are not a student, this is applicable to your job. 

But then again you get used to it because you don't have a choice. That routine will be hard at first but it will just be unconsciously repeated and in a fly of wink it will be normal. Voila, you're officially a night person. That routine will continue for 5 months at most completing a semester in a snatch. 

After that, you are about to enroll another semester and got a morning shift. Another adjustment should happen this time. An adjustment that's also difficult at first. Then one time in your solitude you remembered you have experienced this before. But the interesting part is that you did it in the past and it's so distant that it seems like it's so easy for you to do it but first and foremost you didn't like it.

Then you will just find yourself lying in bed with your headset plugged in your ears writing things with your phone and asking yourself how you did it anyway.

 Have you experienced this? Can't help but be amazed with yourself overcoming those ‘routinary’ past you had especially if you didn't like that routine at all?

[21stxavier]

Frustrations Part 1

Have you ever said to yourself that this is your time? Have you ever promise to yourself that you will win? Have you ever declared an outcome that’s entirely based from your thoughts at least from the turn of past events?

I have something to tell you and I will not going to hold back. I have a premonition that I will win a competition. I felt it’s something else, the ambiance of the approaching event is a different one from what I’ve experienced before. I thought I was right, I imagined myself being there, proving myself to other people that I’m not a wrong choice, proving my worth, and proving what I can do. Smiling beside my victory and proving a point.  But it turned out really bad. I didn’t expect that these won’t happen.

Before the competition, I told myself that this is the turning point of all that happened. THIS IS THE TURNING POINT. A turning point which I can’t afford to lose. So I really worked hard, I provided a very big amount of time and removed a very big portion of my day just to review everything so that I won’t miss out anything during the contest. My seniors will watch me. My teachers will watch too. They will see me. They will appreciate me. So I have to win.

In all aspects of my college life, I thought I have given everything to my goals. But even if I do that, I still fail. I still don’t get what I wanted to get. Sometimes, I doubt myself if I can do this. I just found it really frustrating because I gave up a lot, I lose friends and I sacrifice my happiness and youth to be able to achieve what I wanted to achieve. I even fail at small things. I can’t even win at small arguments. I can’t really be proud of what I have. It’s not enough, that’s for sure. I didn’t give the best of what I can do. I just thought I did but I really did not.

After the contest, I reflect on the events that happen. Questions keep popping and I expect them to float inside my head. First question, did I disappoint my professors? Profs who depend in me so much and expect me of winning? Second question, did I disappoint my seniors? Of another win-less game? Third, how does it affect me?

One thing I know is that I improved. 

[21stxavier]

Taking Chances

Something like “It’s not our abilities that define who we are but our decisions” keeps on popping in my head when I feel proud of what I have and what I can do.

This day marks a new beginning for me. A day that I decided to lost the old habits that continuously devouring my system. Reaching a conclusion is a complicated matter because of a lot of reasons. In my case, it’s my fickle mind.

Why is it so hard to decide? To choose what’s right? To choose what’s best? Is it because you are not sure if it’s going to do you good? Is it because it’s never your forte? Is it because you are afraid that people will blame you for not listening to them? 

Ask yourself. Why can’t you make a decision? Am I not deserving to decide for myself? Am I not deserving to decide based on what I believe in? Do I always have to follow other just because I believe that they’re better than me and they always make better decisions? Am I not worthy to stand firm with my own sense of justice? with my own beliefs? If not, then why not? Is it because I am a nobody?

Ask yourself. What do I think of myself? 

Done asking yourself? It’s time for you to answer them now. 

Sometimes we feel frustrated because we made a wrong decision. Particularly those decisions that involved only two things. If you go for the other, and made the wrong choice, you will lose everything. Felt that way? Felt like, “I should’ve chosen that one!” If I did, there will be a different and better outcome. 

Now, why did you choose that over that?

You will never know what’s gonna happen. After making a decision, the only thing you can do is pray or wish that you made the right decision. The only thing that’s sure is you chose to choose. And that one is a decision process itself.

Because of wrong decisions, we miss big chances. Chances that might turn out really good if taken. Are we just fool and let them slip away? Or are we just victims of our careless decision making? 

I still feel so frustrated about what happened yesterday. I wish I had done more. I wish I had reviewed more. I missed an opportunity that might be a turning table. But more than that I felt frustrated with my lack of determination to stand firm with my answers. I don’t want to disappoint my teammates for insisting that I have the right answer and turns out wrong in the end. I never did a decision. I just go with the flow of things. So things ended up too soon for us. 

But as I’ve been saying to myself after that day that this marks a very big turning point, it will surely be one. I will not be afraid to decide what I think is the best with all my might, with all the logic and reasonable arguments that would come forth. And I will not be scared to take all the chances.

[21stxavier]

"How do you do it?"

Another dream came to me last night. It's also a wierd one. And guys, I had Demi Lovato in that dream. My goodness. Okay, so this is how that dream goes.

As far as I can remember, I'm in my school, my college university. I don't know what I wear but the sure thing is I am not wearing my school uniform. I think I'm wearing some kind of old fashioned hero suit.

Basically what I can tell you is the world in my dream is a fantasy type of world, in my school at least. Yea, we students have powers, supernatural abilities. In this dream, we are trying to chase some kind of criminal, a master of evil in our school. It's an old man with a brown costume and a middle-eastern hat. He dresses like an Arabic with a very western face. But I just found out later what he truly looks like for we are chasing the unknown in the first scenes of the dream. He has warriors that wear red costumes. They're like average middle-aged men to me that wore thick make-up to appear bad.

I'm in this area of our school, the Piazza. A certain person told me that we are going to search for someone who's taking over the school and prevent that someone from doing so. I didn't see the face of that person who told me about it. I just know that I'm with him/her throughout this dream. He or she is my partner. But I think he's a he. Let's assume that.

I got alarmed and immediately run to search for it. And my parterned followed me. But what I did is not an ordinary run that you imagined. I have this swirling water surrounding the half of my body and levitates me 1 or 2 feet from the ground, and it seems like the water is following my command wherever I want it to take me. That's my kind of run in that dream. I searched the university. I am familiar with the places I have gone to in that dream. I went to the benches near our gate. I also saw the library.

And then, to my surprise I arrived to my elementary school. The next thing happened is, we are calling someone's name. She's with other two children. They are talking while walking. We are behind them. We are calling her name. Sometimes I'm having this vague memory of that girl who tries to compete with me about our powers. And then she stopped walking and faced us.The girl has glasses. We told her about the evil man who tries to control over our school. We asked for her help to fight this criminal. At first she refused to join but my partner insisted that she's our only hope. In a snap of a finger, the girl's glasses disappeared and appeared a fierce and strong-looking elementary student ready to battle head on. She apparently agreed to join us.

Her power is air. If I have swirling water, she has a tornado surrounding half of her body.

Just about when we're leaving the vicinity, my power is gone. I tried to do it but it just can't. There are droplets of water that appears but they can't do a thing. I guess I overused my power.

The two girls that are with her also have powers. I even asked them "how do you do it", the "run". They told me that I just rotate my hands beside my hips and it will appear (no, you imagined it wrong). But even though I tried so many times, the swirling water before is just tiny droplets.

And since I can't do it, I run, the literal run where you use your feet. And while running I notice the girl who's beside me. It's Demi you guys! It Demi freaking Lovato! I'm not really shook or anything cause it's just a dream. Anything could be possible. Even smiling at Demi is easy. And mind you she smiled at me first. I am about to ask her about her and Mariah but her smile just gave me peace. So I just shut up.

And then we found them, the evil monarch with his lousy warriors. Without any warning we fought them. I punched one soldier I think.

Did I say what's the power of Demi? Well, she can disassemble her own body. It's a great help because she fights 4 soldiers at the same time. One soldier is being punched by her left hand. Another soldier with her right hand. Two were kicked by her feet I guess.

And then I go for the boss. I didn't fight him head to head because who knows what he's capable of. I controlled his body, twisted his hands, head and feet and knock him unconscious. Woah, I got telekinesis too. And that's how we defeated them. Like why is this guy their boss? He's just an average old man that looks like he's going to attend a birthday party.

[21stxavier]

"OK SEE ME AT 1PM."

I dreamt of a dream last night. Eccentric settings, wierd events and wierd people.

Ok here's the setting. It's cloudy, dark and it feels like it's about to rain. I'm wearing my uniform. I'm a college student taking up classes in high school. Crazy right? But that's what it is.

I just finished taking an exam. I submitted my answer sheet to the exam proctor. I know the proctor, she's my professor in one of my recent subjects. But let's keep her a secret 'cause I don't want to ruin her image for she will appear bad in this story.

And then I went back to my seat, put my things in my bag and fixed my chair. I was about to leave the room when I remembered something. I went the proctor again and asked her about something. I didn't recall what's that thing that I asked but I believe it's about the exams. And she answered me, "Ok see me at 1pm." I'm not sure about the 1pm but I remember looking at my watch countless times in this dream.

I decided to wait for the time. The next thing I knew is that I'm already sitting in an armchair with my colleagues. I knew some of the faces there. I'm in a narrow and long kind of classroom. The seats are arranged neatly. Some professors are on the side of the room not far from us. It feels like they're evaluating something. I feel like they're going to judge something. That is when I recalled that before going into that strange room, my colleagues are dancing. It's weird because before we were seated, there are no chairs. It's like an auditorium but still is a classroom. I don't know how to describe it.

And then we, I in particular, were shown a list. I saw my name and beside it is a zero. I'm the only one who has a zero beside my name and it's separated down on the list. I believe it's because I didn't join this dance thing.

A colleague, just in the opposite side of the room called me and he said something which I totally don't recall. It was not insulting but I got offended. This colleague is a real classmate of mine and I feel this awkwardness everytime I'm with him.

Ok I'm the center of attraction now. I know everybody's eyes are onto my direction. Then it suddenly hit me. I just realized that I just went there to kill time. I'm just in that room to wait for 1pm to come. And then one professor asked me why I am here. I stood up and I said I'm waiting for Ms. Sunday (the earlier exam proctor; not her real name.) Just when I'm about to settle down, I've seen Ms. Sunday in my peripheral vision. She's sitting next to the professor who asked me. She looks suspicious and she has this fiece look in her eyes but she's not looking at me. It seems like nobody recognizes her.I didn't called her or anything. I just sat down.

That eerie feeling is altered by the sudden pouring of rain, a heavy rain. But the more eerie thing is I'm now standing on a different place. I'm still in the same high school but not in that strange room anymore. I thought that I should go back and talk to Ms. Sunday about the thing I asked her earlier. While writing this down, I felt curious myself to that thing which I gave a great importance for going back to the same room where I felt intimidated.

But the rain is heavier than before. It's raining tigers and lions. I looked for a room where I can pamper myself, and put on a jacket. I found one but there are students. I made my way inside without care to those who are there. I put on the black jacket but wait, this jacket is familiar. It's my mom's.

I zipped it in and left the room ready to fight the rain head on. I didn't remember if I have an umbrella or anything but one thing I noticed is that the color of my jacket suddenly changed. It became brown for no reason. I crossed the pool of water, got wet but it's fine. And then I reached the first year high schoolers' lair. But wait, they look like pre-school children discussing about scientific names.

And that is when it ended. The dream. I felt the urge to pee and never went back to sleep, to that dream. It's frustrating that I didn't have the chance to know about that important thing.

[21stxavier]

Ang Mag-Ina

Pauwi na ako galing sa isang nakakapagod na pangyayari. Hind maayos ang pagkakaupo ko. Masikip sa loob ng jeep, tila hindi makahinga sa init. Umuulan pero maalinsangan, isang bagay na hindi na bago sa bansang ito. Napakahaba pa ng lalakbayin ko pero ngawit na ngawit na ang aking bewang.

Napansin ko ang katabi kong mag-ina. Kasama nila ang tatay ng kanyang anak at isa pang anak nito na kalong-kalong din ng tatay. Siguro ay nasa 3 taong gulang pa lamang ang bata na nakakandong sa ina.

Ang likot ng bata. Ngunit naiintindihan ko ito dahil ito ay bata. Pero kung gaano kalikot ang bata ay ganoon din kalikot ang ina na sinasaway ang kanyang anak sa pagtampa-tampa sa aking braso. Wala lang naman sakin iyon dahil bata pa nga din naman siya. Di nya alam na nakakaabala ang kanyang ginagawa.

Ilang minuto pa ay umiyak nang napakalakas ng batang ito. Ngunit hindi ko iyon kaagad nalaman dahil nakikinig ako ng music sa headset ko. Hindi tuloy alam ng kanyang ina ang gagawin sa batang ito. Maririnig sa ina ang mga "tsk" at "oy" nito na sinasabi niya sa kanyang sarili at sa bata dahil hindi na niya alam ang maaari pa niyang gawin upang tumahimik ang bata.

Siyempre ako ang napeperwisyo. Pero okay lang naman iyon sakin kasi nga bata ito. Tanging pag-iyak at pagtampa sa mga hindi kakilala ang kaya nitong gawin. Pero lalaki din ito at matutuhan ang wasto at ibukod ang mga ito mula sa mga maling gawain.

Ilang sandali pa'y tumahan na rin ang bata sa pag-iyak. Hindi ako lumilingon sa kanilang direksiyon. Dahil ang isang lingon na aking gagawin ay maaaring makapagparamdam sa kanila na na-o-offend ako. Pero hindi naman.

Pero hindi ko maiwasang hindi makaramdam ng pagkainis dahil sa pinaghalong traffic, alinsangan, ang nararamdaman kong mga pagsiko at paggalaw ng ina sa aking gilid at antok.

Sa kalagitnaan ng aking pagkabuwisit ay bigla na namang narinig sa buong jeep ang iyak ng batang ito. Mas malakas ngayon at tila hindi ito mapapatigil. Hindi na naman alam ng nanay ang gagawin niya sa bata. May mga pagkakataon na igigilid niya ang sarili, minsan ay kakargahin niya ang bata at minsan ay inaalog-alog niya ito.

Bigla akong nakaramdam ng pag-aalala. Na baka sa sobrang inis nito ay itapon niya mula sa bintana ang bata. Napatingin ako sa may bintana at napa-buntong hininga. Buti na lamang ay hindi magkakasya dito ang bata.

[mindblowingfactz]

A woman named Joyce Diane became famous in the 1950s for becoming the first woman to win the game show “The $64,000 Question,” despite the fact that the show’s producers did not want her to win and deliberately gave her questions perceived to be beyond her ability, which she answered correctly anyway. source

image via wikimedia

[21stxavier]

This happens a lot in real life but the good and wise win.

[21stxavier]

“Clouds”

Everyday is so plain Like a sleeping brain Feels like I’m drained It got me insane

I always look down Suffocated, drowned I can’t hear the sound People walking around

But I never meant to be this way I love it, I hate it, I don’t care Cause when I look up to the sky I can’t see the reason why I feel so shy

Clouds above please hug me tight And I know everything will be alright I want to cry to you if I might I want to sleep on you from morning ‘til night

Clouds so soft do not leave my sight 'Cause when I gaze upon you my heart alights You’re white, so bright A day without you is a frightening twilight

[21stxavier]

Still Vague

When I was 12 years old, there is this story that runs in my head. It's about 12 girls with different supernatural abilities. How they fight for something I don't remember anymore, how they discover the truths of their identities, how are they related to each other, how are they going to make themselves strong as they face more and more challenging missions, are such parts of this novel that I even wrote on a fastened scratch papers. Shailla. I still remember her name. The protagonist of this story. It's such a long time ago that even the title of this novel is not familiar to me. I'm also not sure about the spelling of her name but anyway she's the heroine of this story. Possessing great character, a good personality and a naivety that is out of this planet, Shailla is from the world of the Mortals where she's been kept from her own world. I didn't know her powers though. There is also Dotte. A fierce woman of a great intellect. I'm not certain about her abilities but I think she's more of fist-fighting combatant type of warrior or sort of a merciless martial artist who follows her own will and acts on her own accord. She's my favorite character though. Some piece of the story reminds of two worlds where Avatar The Legend of Aang is the main inspiration. It's when two sibling are looking for these saviors that would save both of their world and the world of Mortals. I just realized how pointless their journey was just now because I thought it didn't have bearing to whatever plot I'm trying to build. There is this Ora/Orashima that I recall. Also there was Kaori/Kaoru. I didn't know exactly what abilities I've given to them but one of the 12 Saviors has the ability to "airbend". See? I got it from Aang. But instead calling them "airBENDERs", to avoid copyright claims, I changed them to "airZESTERs". Wth. This lady "airzester" that I'm talking about uses fans, paper fans to control the air. (Yes, just like Avatar Kyoshi) Another one from the 12 Saviors is a vine-whipper type. Look, she can actually produce vines that could stretch miles (An exaggeration maybe). She can do that every time she wanted to. She's also one of my favorite. See, I'm starting to recall the novel's title upon writing pieces of information dug out from the very corner of my brain. "Savior" or "Saviors" might be in it or sort of. Well, that what it is all about anyway in the first place. Mind you this insane stuff is from my elementary days. I really spent my time dealing with my imaginary friends. Not so ordinary friends, cool friends in my imagination. I am not ashamed to reveal this, I'm only 12 then for goodness sake. And I think it would be normal that a 12-year old kid without so many friends in the reality creates his own on his imagination. And not just one, not two, not three but freaking 12. I turn them into reality sometimes. I made costumes for them. I design their weapons. I made fans from excess linoleum used on the floor. I also made vine whips from excess straws. I still remember those times when I'm fighting myself like crazy, saying dialogues and dying words and stuff. My goodness. I also use my phone to record a conversation of the characters. I change my voice for every character and deliver some inventive lines that only I would know the meaning behind. Speaking of which, when that comes to mind, I am so embarrassed to myself. If you know Mai Hime which I didn't watched fully yet, it's the inspiration of this novel. Teenage girls with abilities. Why girls when I'm a guy? Well, I didn't want 12 boys in my imagination. Period. I remember Chen, one of the two siblings who are the primary hunters for these 12 girls. I often imagine her as Katara of Avatar. I didn't remember the other sibling's name but yes, he's the version of Sokka. Chen is usually calm lady but hot-tempered when her brother crosses the line. They usually fight but they survived their journey together because they help each other more often than the number of times they fight over small things. You know, those brother-sister joke fights. I wonder if I can still find the hard copy of that novel. I believe one of my classmates in high school borrowed it and never returned it. I haven't finished writing it anyway and I'm not even close to its half. I think I ended at introducing the characters in the Mortal world and I ran out of ideas how to bridge things out. I didn't think of an ending, I'm sure of that. I just continue writing and writing stuff that won't probably end and then when I want to end my story I just think of weird ending just like what I do on the most of my stories.

[21stxavier]

Who's your crush?

A colleague. 😂

[21stxavier]

"Huwag mong kaiinisan sa iba ang mga bagay na HINDI mo kayang gawin."

21stxavier