Wanting to sleep all day so youāre not tempted to eat
Destroying relationships with so much deceit and lying
Losing the trust of everyone, making you even more alone
Trying to order at a drive thru/icecream shop/resturaunt with friends and having this giant pause while the waiter stares at you because you want to say āno thanksā
Trying to seem normal but then punishing yourself for trying to eat like that
Wanting to cut your curves off
Checking every single window for a reflection because youāve forgotten how you really look to others
Being so consumed, you donāt hear anyone actually talking to you.
Pretending to be normal while you multitask and count calories in your head
Counting those calories over and over to make sure you didnāt forget anything/underestimate
Burning hot showers for 30 minutes because you want to feel warm for once
Dry skin, peels off no matter how much lotion
Blurry vision, eyes canāt focus on anything anymore
Going to the bathroom just to check your body
Sitting with your feet slightly off the ground to make sure your thighs donāt squish
Cringing during a hug/cuddling
Wanting to be seen as bones but not wanting to be stopped for being too boney, but not knowing the line because you canāt see yourself/whatās actually healthy
Forgetting any other reason to live/get up
Begging to catch a stomach bug or flu
Losing words for things while trying to write like you used to
Being constantly angry at others for eating or even thinking of eating
Feeling guilty for sitting instead of moving
Would rather die than gain weight
āi wonder if i get a big haircut iāll lose weight?ā
How much of my weight is actually just poo?
Needing advil but knowing itāll destroy your empty stomach
Not taking medication for other mental illness because weight gain is possible
janainaart
titsay
gummygunk
snowghoul
