bellwether

[247sooyoung]

in any other world – pt. 1

September 2017

Sooyoung looks at the city below her, at the roads that snake around and the cars that look like little beetles scuttling around. San Francisco is a small city compared to Seoul, and Sooyoung wonder which of the houses she can see will this trip lead her to. The sound of the flight attendant announcing their descent into the city takes Sooyoung’s mind away from the view, and she turns to store the magazine she had in her lap into her handbag. She takes a deep sigh as she sits back in her seat, looking straight ahead, hands clasped in her lap, and tries not to think about how crazy all of this is. 

An hour later finds Sooyoung arriving at the hotel she had reserved days ago, when she had decided on this trip. The receptionist at the welcome desk is efficient and has her key card ready in no time, which Sooyoung is grateful for; it’s going to be a few stressful days and she doesn’t think she can deal with incompetent people at the moment. The bellboy follows her up to her room, a modest but still pretty sizeable suite and, after she tips him and he leaves, she’s finally alone. She sighs deeply as she takes a look around the room. The floor to ceiling windows overlook the city, currently cast in moonlight and ablaze with all the city lights. She steps closer to the crystal, instinctively wrapping her arms around her middle, bottom lip caught between her teeth. She’s so nervous, even more than when she took her CSAT exams, even more than when she started her first job at ELLE, but she can’t bring herself to calm down. The trip had been on her mind for a while now, since that fateful conversation with her mother and Mrs. Choi at the Shilla hotel, but it hadn't been until her and Seunghyun's engagement had been announced at the party that a plan had started to develop. And now here she is, four months later and finally putting it into motion.

With a sigh, she turns back around and walks to her suitcase, taking out the clothes and organizing them in the wardrobe in the room. It keeps her mind occupied for a little while and it isn't until she's in bed half an hour later, body tired from the trip and the jet lag, that she starts turning the idea in her mind again. This whole thing is crazy, she tells herself, you're crazy. But at the same time, she knows that this is the only way she'll be able to live with herself, the only way to move on and not be caught in the past. Despite her wandering mind, it doesn't take long for sleep to claim her and soon enough she's finally resting.

As the morning sun graces the streets of San Francisco, Sooyoung gets out of bed. She's had a restless sleep, but she has an appointment to meet and she can't be late. She has more than enough time to get ready though, so she takes it slow, enjoying the warm shower and the breakfast she asks room service to bring up to her room. Soon enough, she's ready to face the day, and she walks out of her suite and down to the hotel entrance, where one of the doormen has a car waiting for her. She gives him a soft smile before leaving, feeling the nervousness creep around in her body. She had known from the beginning this wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't expected to feel this way, mind wandering and stomach churning, making it practically impossible for her to eat anything. She had forced herself to eat at least one of the pastries from the breakfast and drink her coffee, and she's kind of regretting it now as the car moves through the city.

"Miss, I understand that you cannot divulge this information, and that I signed a contract saying I wouldn't come looking for it, but years have passed and circumstances have changed." She says an hour later, sitting in a small but tidy office in downtown San Francisco. There's a clipped smile on her face, and her hands grasp at the purse on her lap. "Isn't there anything you can do? Please?" Sooyoung isn't one for begging, but this is something she's willing to do it for. "Just an email address will be enough. I promise, I don't want to take him or her away, I just want to know they're doing okay." She adds, and she can feel the tremble in her voice, but she hopes the young woman sitting behind the desk doesn't notice. Sooyoung had known this was going to be difficult, but she had hoped that the adoption agency would help her with at least something. "I'm sorry, Miss Park, but it is against our code of conduct to reveal personal information from our clients, and you signed a contract agreeing to this." The lady says for what feels like the hundredth time that morning and Sooyoung replies to it with a sigh. The urge to try and blackmail the other is very strong, but Sooyoung had promised herself that she would do this the correct way, that she wouldn't buy her way into this. With a final nod of resignation, Sooyoung smiles sadly at the other. "I understand. Could you then please pass my contact details to the family?" She says as she takes an address card out of her purse and hands it to the other. "Just tell them I would love to know how they're doing, and that I have no intention whatsoever of barging into their life now." She adds with an earnest smile, and, although she hesitates, the woman takes the card and nods. "Thank you very much for your help and patience." She says before she leaves the office, trying her best to hold the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes.

[247jiyong]

— Compromise

[247sooyoung]

247jiyong:

Refraining from rolling his eyes at her answer, he sluggishly drags the corners of his mouth upwards to desist the blankness plastered onto his face. The lack of trust between Jiyong and Sooyoung certainly is mutual, what urges him to take her promise with a grain of salt, though maybe for once he should be confiding. “I will keep my opinion about you to myself. I give you my word of honour,” He says with a weak, almost inaudible snort ending his assertion. “Deal.” The agreement goes past his lips the moment she falls silent after suggesting the truce, not even giving himself a while for having second thoughts. “With the right determination, we can make that work.”

Sooyoung has always had people she likes best, and Jiyong is definitely not one of those people. The list of people she actually likes has always been a small one, but perhaps now is the time to change that. Not that she would ever actually like Jiyong, but she thinks she can manage to maybe just stand him and keep herself from, basically, hating him. She can only hope that Jiyong feels the same way and that this is all worth it. Of course, they're doing this for Seunghyun's sake, so Sooyoung is pretty sure it's worth it.

She refrains herself from making any comments about his promise, because she's pretty sure he's not the type of person to keep his promises - not that Sooyoung is that much better at it, really - but she has to start trusting him, if only slightly. His immediate agreement catches her a bit off-guard. They've never agreed on anything, and this is not an easy decision, and Sooyoung just stares at him for a few seconds with wide eyes before she regains her composure and nods. "I'm sure we'll be able to." She says with a tight smile, a bit of the tension that had been holding her shoulders up finally seeping out of her body. "Well, Jiyong, it was nice talking to you." She adds after a few seconds, and she knows he will be perfectly able to see through her fake words, but at least for appearances sake she will try and be amicable with him. "But I have to go talk to all the other guests." She continues as she raises from her table, an almost there smile on her lips.

[kyunmyeon]

Joy // Peek A Boo // comeback stages

[girls-generation]

bias meme : joy ♡ ↳ for anon

[247sooyoung]

sugarpink

[247sooyoung]

247sumin:

she had leaned closer when the woman’s next question came up, taking a moment to think about it—more like taking her time to stare at the beauty from a closer look now, the smile never leaving her lips. “hm, why not?” she hummed softly. “i wonder how prettier you’ll get when you smile so it’ll be an honor to be the one who one puts it on your face.” speaking about it, sumin’s eyes eventually fell onto the stranger’s lips and she stared a little more, trying to imagine how beautiful it would be if they curved into a sweet smile, or how beautiful they would look pressed against hers. shifting her gaze back to look at the woman, sumin mused, “tell me what can i do to see that beautiful smile of yours then, cupcake.” 

Sooyoung wasn’t entirely sure what had made her behave like this. She was not the type to reciprocate any advances, specially those made in a club, specially those made by females. But somehow the other girl just entranced her and Sooyoung couldn’t help wanting to get closer to her, in more than one sense. Perhaps the two drinks she had so quickly downed had something to do with it, or perhaps the fact that she was here with a group, but she felt more alone than ever. 

She finished the drink in front of her with one swift move, leaving the glass on the bar and turning around to face the other fully. Clearly Sooyoung had underestimated her beauty from afar, because the girl in front of her was stunning. Sooyoung had seen her fair share of pretty models in her lifetime, but the other girl was just drop dead gorgeous, and she also had an air about her that just drew Sooyoung in further, her gaze dropping for a moment to her lips before moving back up. 

At the other’s replies, Sooyoung tilted her head slightly, lips stretching further into a smirk. She definitely hadn’t expected her to accept, but she wasn’t going to back down now. In any other moment, and had Sooyoung had less to drink and more time to think, she would never be caught dead in this situation, yet now she couldn’t help her brain or body reacting the way they were to the other girl. “How about we start with some dancing?” She replied as she grabbed the other’s wrist, dragging her into the crowd, her gaze never leaving the other’s eyes. The other’s dancing had been the first thing to catch her attention, and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious to see her moving from up close.

[247jiho-deactivated20180227]

( I’m recalling the fun conversation we had as I gaze at the street light, in the middle of the night I should be frightened of opening up my heart, yet when I’m with you, I was able to truly smile. )

MOODBOARD 003 — for @247sooyoung

                            — send 🌙 for a moodboard of our muses                                  ( status: always accepting !! )

[247xbora]

The Crown ;

[247sooyoung]

247bora:

“There’s a reason why I am here.” Slipping her phone back inside her pocket. “Your company needs me. You guys called for me.” Placing a hand over her chest. “I don’t need you. I just chose your company to help you out. How about you be thankful instead?” 

Sooyoung had tried rather hard to leave her old high school self behind, but sometimes, the appearance of old faces just brought all the worst out in her. She couldn't help it, despite all the bad things that happened during that time, her teenage years had been some of the best, and sometimes she just found herself longing for those days when everyone would follow her around and do whatever she said.

Bora's words stung a little, but really, who was she trying to kid? Sooyoung hadn't changed that much in the few years since graduation, only adapted her own personality to fit the professional world she moved in nowadays. She replied to her comments with a rather tight smile, gaze directed down at her iPad from where she pulled up the catalogue pictures of Bora's collection they had been emailed before the shoot.

"It really doesn't matter to me what you bring, Bora. It's your image on the line, not mine." She said with a sweet smile, scrolling through the images of the designs until she found one she liked (a hard feat, but not an impossible one). "Can we get this one ready, please?" She said to one of her assistants, handing her the tablet and taking out a recorder from her pocket, ready to start the interview with the designer.

"Oh, really?" She asked with honest curiosity. "You do realize this is Vogue, right? We could have selected any other designer to showcase - and trust me, we had a wide range to choose from - but we picked you because you seem to be on the rise and, for some reason, everyone loves you." She finished her little speech with a small smile and, before the other could reply, she pressed the recording button on the device and directed it at the other girl.

"So tell me, Bora, what inspired your latest designs?" She asked with a sweet smile, making sure the conversation was going exactly where she wanted.

[femaleidol]

ღღ

[princessbusybody]

Relying on Rivals

[247sooyoung]

247yoori:

( ... )

“Please give her my card, and tell her to call at her leisure. Everyone at KS will look forward to her answer.” She recited from memory all the times she was drilled with how to approach those who they needed favors from. “Please tell her that us at KS entertainment wish to support her as she transitions from one career to another, and we have the expertise to help her along the way.” She finally stood up, bowing once again at the other. “Goodbye Sooyoung-shi, have a good day.” At that, she left the office with a slow breath as she left. One less person she needed to encounter.

Even if Yoori managed to bottle up her emotions, Sooyoung could tell exactly everything that was going through her mind. She herself had become an expert at hiding her feelings over the years, and she knew the tricks well enough to spot them in others. Nothing could get past her unless she wanted, and while this make her quite good at her job, it also made her one of the least liked people in the office, not to mention feared.

But Yoori had never been afraid of her in high school, her and her small group of friends always going against the rules set by the school and by herself. Yet now she finally respected her and Sooyoung enjoyed that power. By slightly giving in to her plea, she also made herself a bit more likeable, and she knew that now she had something on the other girl, a favour owned that could come in handy in the future.

Sooyoung smiled softly as she received the card from Yoori, her head bowing slightly out of politeness. She wasn't only representing herself here, but also the company she worked for, and she couldn't give a bad impression. "Will do." She replied, a promise she would make good on. "Thank you and goodbye, Yoori."

- the end -

[ajshdjfs-deactivated20180903]

©

[bubbleflexe-deactivated20190719]

Make way, coming through 

[seunghyun247-blog]

bear trap || sooyoung + tabi

[247sooyoung]

seunghyun247:

( ... )

“seunghyun,” his mother hardens her voice even more, her eyes diamonds in her head. “did you think this life you live is free? do you think any of us are free? sit down and calm yourself, you look like a fool.” seunghyun does as she tells him to, but his face is frozen in shock, so she continues. “our connection with the park family has always been in good-standing and we all agree it would be beneficial, for not just us, but the two of you as well, to better strengthen these connections. don’t show them disrespect just because you’re emotional. apologize.”

seunghyun grits his teeth, unable to even look at them sitting across from him, but he can’t disobey his mother. she is steel-hearted. “i apologize for my outburst.” he wants to die.

If there’s one thing Sooyoung though about since she was a child, that was marriage. Her parents gave her an example of what a successful one should look like, of the smiles and looks they should give each other to make everyone believe they’re the happiest couple on Earth. But they also gave her an example of what a happy marriage should not look like. A happy marriage is not a husband coming home late at night smelling of someone else’s perfume, it is not a wife drowning herself in alcohol to forget her partner’s infidelities, it is not a child left to put the pieces together and sort herself out. Movies, the romantic comedies and fateful dramas that she loved since she was a kid, gave her the idea that you could actually be with the person you loved, that you wouldn’t need to end in a broken marriage, fixed in front of the cameras, and she hoped and longed for that, that connection, that partnership that would help her get through life, through its ups and downs no matter what, cause she would also have a person there to help her out. In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, isn’t it supposed to be like that?

Growing up brought reality into her life, made her realize that the love and partnership she longed for wasn’t always possible, that life doesn’t always give you what you want. Yet, she hoped against hope that someday, no matter how far along that day was, she would find that one person. Needless to say, that person wasn’t Seunghyun. It didn’t matter how much Sooyoung loved him as a friend, or admired his kindred spirit and inherent goodness, he was not the one for her, and she was pretty sure she wasn’t his either. But Sooyoung had learned that sometimes, life gives you lemons, and you have to learn to make lemonade with them. So it doesn’t matter now how much she longed for that relationship in the past, doesn’t matter that she may have had feelings for other people, because she’s going to be in this marriage whether she likes it or not. Maybe in the future, when they become even more powerful than their parents, they’ll be able to get a divorce and find the ones they truly love. But until that day comes, Sooyoung has to learn to make the best of what she has. 

Suddenly, Seunghyun stands up and Sooyoung just freezes in place, stays glued to her seat like a statue. She watches in awe as Seunghyun confronts her mother, heart wrenching inside her chest. She can tell how hurt he is, the frustration and anger that are bubbling inside of him, and for a moment she almost laughs at the similarity between his outburst and the one she had when she was first told about this. His mother is no joke though, and Sooyoung knows that any attempt to resist is futile, that this is not something they can get rid of, no matter how much they plead and beg. Their families’ minds are set on this, and there’s nothing they can do to change them. 

When Seunghyun finally backs down and apologizes, Sooyoung almost cries. He shouldn’t be the one apologizing, he’s done nothing wrong, he’s only ever wanted what everyone else wants in this world: to be happy. Still, she keeps her eyes dry and, after a few seconds, she finally stands up and raises her glass, an incredibly fake smile on her face. “To Sooyoung and Seunghyun!” Her mother says with a grand smile and gesture, and Sooyoung raises her glass and takes a big gulp of the champagne. She stays standing as the rest of them sit down and, after a second, she finally speaks for the first time that evening. “If you’ll excuse me for a second.” She says as she leaves the dining table. She can feel her mother’s eyes on her, but she doesn’t care. She needs to get out of there, needs to get her head and her heart straight, she can’t deal with this anymore. 

Once outside the dining room, she looks around for the closest empty room – a guest bedroom, it seems to be – and just sits on the bed, chest moving up and down erratically as she tries to keep her emotions in and not let them take over her body. When she finally manages to calm herself down, she takes her phone out of her purse and sends a text to Seunghyun.

{ ✉ – leading man } can you come out for a sec? { ✉ – leading man } first room on the left { ✉ – leading man } i think is a guest bedroom or something

[247sooyoung]

friends will be friends

[247sooyoung]

Shortly after that first fateful conversation with her mother, Sooyoung had realized that this engagement and marriage would change her whole life upside down. She knew her relationships with absolutely everyone would change – and that included Sehun. Of course, she thought the change would have been more along the lines of “Wow, you’re a married woman now” and all types of jokes about it, rather than this mess they were getting into. 

Sehun’s words hurt and Sooyoung instinctively clutched her stomach, the thoughts coming back to her – even though they hadn’t really left her mind ever since the start of this whole ordeal. If she had known all the trouble being a stupid teenager would cause her in her adulthood, she would have thought about it twice before going ahead with her decisions. But alas, there was nothing she could do to change that now, so all that’s left now was deal with the consequences. 

His next words brought some courage to her, but they also made the tears finally fall from her eyes. As she took a little tissue from her clutch and dabbed the tears away, she looked up at Sehun, words struggling to come out of her mouth.  “I just- I just need to know you’ll be there. I know you can’t right now, but I need you.” She took a deep sigh as she put herself back together. “Process, be mad at me, be mad at Seunghyun, do whatever you need to do. But please, please, still be my friend after it all.”

[247jiyong]

— Compromise

[247sooyoung]

247jiyong:

( ... )

Noticing how her little smile faded and witnessing a tone which wasn’t tinting her response with pure sarcasm was quite a surprise for Jiyong and it soon urged him to assume that she also didn’t wish for things to get harder and more complicated than they already were. “I’m glad we agree for once.” A corner of his lips quivered faintly as he spoke calmly. “Well, I figured you two didn’t have much to say,” Holding her gaze, he added before a breathy chuckle bubbled free upon hearing her next words. “I won’t drag Seunghyun away from you, really. Neither of us want to lose him as a friend, but I guess we still need to set some records straight to prevent it from happening.”

Jiyong may have gotten on Sooyoung’s nerves in the past, but having her whole life swept from under her feet in one swift move had given her a new perspective on life. Or at least on her relationships. Sooyoung has always been very careful about who she surrounds herself with: her group of friends has always been small and her group of enemies enormous, but perhaps now is the time to change that. Of course, she knows her and Jiyong could never be friends, but she hopes that they can at least keep on friendly terms, if only for Seunghyun’s sake. 

“Always a first for everything.” She replies with a taut smile, not able to resist having the last word. This is going to be hard, but she has to at least try. “I won’t poison your name in his head, I promise.” She adds after his little speech, trying to lighten the mood if only slightly, because she’s had enough seriousness as it is. “Okay, well, what about... a truce? We won’t mention each other in front of Seunghyun, and if we meet in person we’ll do our best to be... amicable.” She finishes her sentence with a hopeful feeling, eyebrows raised in expectation of the other’s response.  

[seunghyun247-blog]

‘going to hell in a handbasket’ psy + csh

[247sooyoung]

seunghyun247:

he doesn’t know how to live his life like this, going forward. he’s been in relationships before, but not fake ones. he doesn’t know how well he’ll be able to keep up a lie this big, so an idea comes to him. he shifts a bit in his seat, turning a little towards her. “can we… can we make a sort of promise then? i think we need to establish a truce, at least for the time being?” he has to keep his voice low, even though no one can hear them back here. they are nearing the event venue soon and his heart is cramming itself into his throat. “can we promise to like… have each other’s back with stuff? i won’t… i won’t tell on you and i’ll cover for you, if you need to get away or go out with someone else, okay? can we do that for each other? so that we can remain friends underneath this farce..”

Her whole life Sooyoung has been pummelled to hell and back: her childhood was no easy one, despite what many people may think, and puberty and high school didn't throw anything better in her face, specially the last years. She's had to mature earlier than other kids, thrown into the world of adults when she was still a child. And so this fake marriage is just one of those obstacles life has for her and she'll just have to overcome, whether she likes it or not. At least this time she's not facing it alone.

Seunghyun has been a somehow calming presence for her, a person so pure and inherently good that he makes Sooyoung want to become a better person. Sooyoung thinks that, on some level, she deserves this, deserves to not be happy for everything that she's done in the past, but Seunghyun definitely doesn't. He's nothing but nice and good and kind, and the last thing he should be getting into it's a fake marriage. But alas, destiny has different plans for them. Sooyoung smiles faintly at Seunghyun's words, her mind drifting of into territory it shouldn't.

She's brought back to the present when Seunghyun speaks again. She looks at him with a little frown, one that disperses as soon as she hears his little speech. "Seunghyun, I'll always have your back, you know that, right?" She says with a small smile, taking his hand in hers. "I may be a bitch to everyone else," she says with a mirthless smile, "but I would never do anything that could hurt you in any way." She finishes her sentence with all seriousness, any trace of jokes or sarcasm completely gone from her voice. "You can always count on me."

[bubbleflexe-deactivated20190719]

170822

[247sooyoung]

supporting role

[247sooyoung]

247riah:

“Yes please.” Riah answered with a smile, turning upon hearing her friend’s voice. She couldn’t imagine what her companion must be feeling in this moment. “So, my love. How are you feeling now that you’re marrying one of Seoul’s most eligible bachelors and my dear friend?” Riah asked, joking with Sooyoung softly.

Sooyoung really needed a friendly face and a good conversation right about now. Or at least one that didn't involve shouting and aggressiveness. At Riah's smile and words, Sooyoung felt her shoulders relax, feeling a lot lighter than she had before. At least there was someone, even if it was just one person, who was actually okay with the marriage and didn't seem to mind finding out in such a public way.

"It's overwhelming, to say the least." She says, taking another sip from the glass in her hand. "Our parents organized this whole shebang. If it was me, we would have just gone to the courthouse and gotten married in five minutes." She continued, a roll of her eyes accompanying her first words.

"By the way, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before. My parents wanted to keep it a secret, surprise everyone and yeah... I'm sorry." She added after a few seconds, looking at her friend with an apologetic smile. Hopefully, Riah would be understanding enough that she wouldn't mind Sooyoung holding out on her.