AN ARCHIVE.

private & selective.

[withpills]

easton, how did things between you and addy end?

❝ .. i think everything was just moving too fast? there wasn’t really an explanation behind it so i can’t really say for sure. and, like, i wanna pretend that it was a mutual decision for the sake, y’know, my self pride and what not but. i honestly don’t even know. i thought we were pretty happy. ❞

[24flcors]

oofcharles:

September 24, 2014.

I don’t know what I’m expected to say anymore.

It’s sort of like that feeling you get when you think everything’s settled and you look around and you’re just like, ‘Awesome. This is my life and this is good and I like how things are going right now because they actually make sense and it makes me happy.’ And then something happens and all of a sudden everything’s gone all topsy-turvy.

And you don’t know what to do, you know? There’s like this initial shock that leaves you paralyzed while everyone else is buzzing about - either asking you if you’re alright or if you need anything or just completely zooming by as if nothing happened at all.

And you sort of want to scream. Maybe cry a little bit. Or pause and take a couple of breaths until you get your head in order again. I don’t know. I guess it depends on the person. I know that it takes me a while to get it all through my head. 'Cause sometimes things happen and I just - I don’t know. I’m in like this state of utter shock where I either can’t think of anything other than whatever’s happened for days on end or I try to pretend that it’s not even real because it literally came out of nowhere and it couldn’t possibly not be a dream. 

It’s like that right now, I think. I sort of want to punch people in the face and I sort of want to cry until my throat gets all constricted and I have to wonder if I’m gonna stop breathing in .5 seconds and I sort of want to just up and leave and never look back and I sort of want to just go to sleep and pretend none of it happened at all and act like everything’s completely normal tomorrow morning when I wake up.

But none of that is gonna fix any of this. If there even is anything to fix. And that’s the scariest thing about it, isn’t it? The whole not knowing part. Wondering if what you do right now is going to change the outcome at all. 'Cause sometimes things fall apart. Without any forewarning or cause. It just.. happens.

Sometimes it isn’t ever enough, y'know? You can fight and try and beg and take and give and hope and use up every fiber of yourself in order to save something and. 

And sometimes it just isn’t fucking enough. 

..And I think I might be learning that lesson the hard way this time around. 

[taraknowless]

[wildhaart]

weeeeeep like muse a and muse b are a young couple with a two year old daughter and muse a does everything to provide for them since muse b is still studying, it would be angsty and all since muse a came from a prominent family but was disowned when he got a girl pregnant so it would be hard for him to juggle working and taking care of the baby but muse b would be there all way. they fight about normal things like money, muse a jealous of the jock guy who’s trying to get her attention and all that shit pls

[thingsforrp]

                                 ι can'т proмιѕe тo ѕolve yoυr proвleмѕ                                                         вυт ι can proмιѕe                                       yoυ won'т нave тo ғace тнeм alone

[24flcors]

tear in his heart.

        relieved wasn’t quite the feeling running through acadia right now. no, safe seemed to fit much better. before he had even finished his words she was snaking her arms around his neck to pull him into a tight hug, the nagging feeling to be held pumping through her body as if it were meant to mimic her pulse. why she had thought he wouldn’t be accepting of her news was beyond her. easton was by far one of the most understanding human beings she had ever met and she should have had more faith in him.. in them. “thank you… you don’t know how much it means to me to hear you say that..” she whispered, holding tight as if the pressure would keep him from disappearing like so many had before him. “you’re amazing..”

      his arms wrapped around her as if second nature, fingertips pressing into her back in a firmness he could only hope would encourage her to stay close. always. easton tried his best to keep any lingering shock from the news off his face. “i didn’t do anything.” there was a good chance he wasn’t going to be able to handle little comments like that anymore without aching to bat them away. it was horrifying to think of all the people that had managed to filter through her life, that had been responsible for the sheer gratitude she seemed to exude over something so menial in easton’s own head. something instinctual. it shouldn’t have been so relieving to have someone act empathetic. “if there’s anything i can do ... i don’t know. i’d do anything.” 

[modelharry]

x

[charavibes]

[24flcors]

#1 fan.

         it was nice to be corrected but it did little to help her smile return and as she looked up at him she couldn’t help but look a little somber. “i love you too..” she spoke softly, slowly snaking her way up his body so she could peck softly at his lips. it wasn’t meant to cause anything but just a way to reinforce that she did mean it. no matter what. there would never come a day that she didn’t love him.. even if one day he was to decide he wanted someone else over her… she would continue to love him because love never truly leaves someone does it? a silence fell upon them as she pulled away, forehead rested against his own as her lips just barely grazed his own, fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck.

        there was a good chance the droplet of fear in the pit of his stomach would always remain, no matter if he was looking at their relationship tomorrow or twelve years from now when cara had a ring on her finger and three children scrambling around their front yard. since the first day of their senior year, charles had been doing everything he could to give her the very best. but it didn’t ever feel like enough. like he was always one step behind everyone else because cara deserved the world and then some, and sometimes charles had to wonder if there was someone else that could give her more. the kiss was simple, and charles could appreciate that, curling one arm around her shoulders after so she stayed close. with his own eyes half shut, charles murmured, “don’t go anywhere, alright?” 

[breathlcss]

idk why but i’m such a slut for…. like…,,, ships where one of them is famous and the other isn’t ??? like it can be any kind of famous it can be band or youtube famous or anYTHI GN but what really lifts my skirt is like….,, cute tweets between them and dumb twitcams and obnoxious snapchat selfies, and sometimes they’ll trend on twitter every now and again over somethini dumb……. and like bc the other isn’t famous some like jealous die-hards i guess track down where they work and egg the place or somethi n or vandalize it in other ways and the non-famous one is just :’))) it’s ok :’)))) and they get online hate sometTIMES and it’s just wow i’m emotional 

[24flcors]

charles, could you see yourself with anyone other than your girl?

❝ i can’t see myself being with anyone else. and i don’t think there’s anyone other than cara that would bother dealing with all my bullshit. —props to her, man. it still baffles me to this day that practically everyone wrote her off as some deviant that was, like, incapable of honest emotion. no one’s been more patient with me, and i’m certain no one else would have stuck around for the harder bits. even if they had to. she is a literal godsend. ❞

[24flcors]

light of his life.

          it wasn’t the outright sentence she had wanted but she would take his eluding as enough this time. “well then in that case c’mon, better feed you.” she grinned, the words making her laugh as she pulled away so she could stand up, tossing down two dollars as a tip for the waitress who had done little besides offer them something to drink. cara caught hold of his hand the minute he was up and practically ran to the car, the air filled with soft and childlike laughter as the car door behind her closed. there was very little she wouldn’t do for him, if anything honestly. and if he wanted to settle between her thighs right here in the parking lot she would let him. 

          there was no hesitation between her words, him standing, and them exiting the diner. granted, being with cara had always left very little time for second thoughts. ( which maybe could be a bad thing. maybe if charles had the capability to think for himself and tell her no, then they wouldn’t be in the position they were in right now. they wouldn’t have left town to begin with. ) pulling the car door open couldn’t happen fast enough. charles would have reciprocated in the same fashion if it would have been possible to get himself hunched underneath the table as effortlessly. “i love you,” charles implored as he slid into the backseat of the car, figuring it would leave the most space for the pair of them. his hands started working at getting her pants unbuttoned and down her legs before he could get a solid breath in. “very, very much.” 

[24flcors]

#1 fan.

         there was no point in trying to hide her smile but she did so anyway, letting her head fall to look at the skin on his tummy, the way his skin rolled only slightly over his muscle, hair cascading to make a curtain, which she was thankful. “i don’t have to fart, luckily, but its nice to know you’d still like me if i did.” she muttered, heart swelling at his words. she reciprocated his feelings in every way, hell sometimes she thought maybe even a little more. there was no doubt in her mind she cared more, if only by a little and maybe that had to do with his infidelities but she didn’t wanna bring it up, didn’t even wanna think about it… but she did and that caused her smile to fall. her somber mood caused her to lay her left cheek along his stomach, closing her eyes as she let the warmth of the water surround her. 

           “love.” it was instinct for him to amend. no one thought they were going to make it very far, whether it was because of the demanding schedule college football had or the array of new people they would come across within the next four years. even the idea that they’d been together since their junior year was enough to earn a laugh from some. ( which charles did his very best not to promptly punch out of them. ) their relationship had been minimized from the very start, and charles wouldn’t have her falling into that state of mind — even if it wasn’t her intention. “i love you. and you can do whatever it is you want, whenever you want, and i’m still going to.” one hand finally let her go, long enough to lift and cradle the back of her head instead, three fingertips barely peeking into her hair. “always.” 

[24flcors]

light of his life.

          cara let him pull her nearer, her front side pressed against the table. she wanted him to say it, that was the whole point. hazel eyes set on his green ones before they slowly fell to his pink lips, a shade of pink that matched the color of the tip of her favorite appendage. “say it.” she purred, tongue running over her teeth as she looked at him in a predatory manner. when it came to sex she was the apex predator and he was her prey. “please say it baby. i love when you talk dirty to me… be filthy.”

         something as simple as her leaning forward with him was enough to swell his heart, as if charles needed any other reason to back up just how in love he was with her. cara was the very best part about him; anyone that couldn’t see that was blind beyond help. “i have no idea what you’re talking about. i’ve never talked dirty to you.” the wide smile on his face immediately rid whatever grumpy tone his words would have held. pushing his lower lip out into a pout charles could only hope was persuasive, he mumbled, “c’mon. i’m starving. and you taste better than anything they could possibly have here.” 

[24flcors]

#1 fan.

          again cara pecked at the skin that just barely skimmed the surface of the water. she liked knowing that she could always do that to him, no matter what. “nothing at all?” she questioned slyly, fingers running up and down his back. “so if i farted right now and filled the tub with little bubbles you would still like, wanna fuck me?” it was nice knowing she could do no wrong. “i mean cause if you did i would probably still wanna fuck you.”

        with that last kiss, he shifted enough to make a wave in the water. the need to make up for his mistakes was still present and how kind she was currently being wasn’t helping much. his lips pressed together in a weak attempt to smother his grin. it was silly. cara probably just poking fun like she always did, but charles meant it. wholeheartedly. and generally, save for the fact that there honestly wasn’t very much he could think of that she could do that wouldn’t get a rise out of him. but he was biased, and charles would think it a blessing to have her break his heart. “yep. so there’s your go ahead if that was some kind of not-really-hypothetical question.” 

[24flcors]

charles, whats the kinkiest thing you and cara have ever done?

❝ —- oh, would you look at that, suddenly i’m sleepy. goodnight. ❞

[24flcors]

my mistake charles, but when i said reason or way, i wasn't necessarily referring to a person.

❝ right, well. i’m not gonna lie, there have been a couple ups and downs throughout the .. well, the whole time that we’ve been together. it’s been a hell of a ride, but it’s never been anything serious enough to last more than a day or two. if that. she is my better half, and that’s not something i can just walk away from. ❞ even if she has cheated on him more times than he can count.