✖

clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

[caralikesdix-blog]

"It wasn't.." Cara smiled at the thought. "I mean I don't think many viegins orgasm their first time so it wasn't a total loss. It was just knowing after I had a taste that I wanted you to myself that hurt.. We didn't actually get together until two weeks after that, when you pulled your head out of your ass.."

[oofcharles]

He grinned widely, sliding his fingers through the spaces of hers. "Yeah, I'm sure I was really dumb back then," Charles murmured. He squeezed her hand once then averted his gaze back over to her face. "And what about football?" he asked. "You don't - I mean, you seem like the type not really to care about it, so." 

[caralikesdix-blog]

Cara smiled when he asked that. "Well, we had English together when I first transferred our junior year but you didn't really pay me much attention.. And then one night after a game my friend Katie convinced me to go to a party and I saw you and I don't know, I wanted you.." She shrugged. "And at this point you were a bit of a douche." Carq chuckled as she remembered. "And you decided I would do for the night and we went up stairs and yeah,. That was the first night I ever met you."

[oofcharles]

He grabbed onto her hand closest to him again, idly fiddling with her fingers as he listened to her speak. As weird as it may be, Charles just liked the sound of her voice. It was soothing. His mouth turned up into a small smile, nodding his head along. Friday nights were always the best. Although Charles was well aware of how arrogant he used to be when he was younger; his siblings never let him forget about it. "Oh god," he exhaled, jutting his lower lip out into a pout. "I'm sorry. That must have been a shitty first time." 

[caralikesdix-blog]

"I dunno.." She shrugged, pulling away from him so she could sit. "At first I thought it was a dream and then it all kinda clicked. I saw us and we were happy.. Young but happy. I saw when we first met.. When you first told me you loved me and then when we broke up and when I woke up it just all flooded back.." She explained as she looked up at him, wanting so badly for him to come and sit with her.

[oofcharles]

He nodded his head. Charles hated this feeling; like he was watching his own life from an outsider's perspective. He hated not knowing what she was talking about, not being able to recall how he asked her to prom or recite something they thought was funny all those years ago. "How'd we first meet?" he asked as he sat beside her. 

[caralikesdix-blog]

"Everything hurt when I was going through withdrawals and I guess somewhere is there I had a moment of clarity.. And I dunno.. I kinda just figured it out.." She admitted, absentmindedly playing with the hair on the nape of his neck.

[oofcharles]

"Tell me about it?" he suggested, although there was a little tilt of hesitation at the end of it. Charles hoped that it wouldn't be too much for her to talk about but he wondered if listening to her speak would jog something in him. And although the more rational side of him knew it wouldn't be that easy, it didn't take much for Charles to cave into the naive hope it would be - just this once. 

[caralikesdix-blog]

Cara nodded, noting the way he changed subjects. "He said I should stay in solitary for a few more days.. And the baby is good. Had a check up yesterday and she's growing. Healthy so far.."

[oofcharles]

"That's good. The second part, at least, about the baby - but I mean I guess the first part is good too." Charles dropped his hands back to his sides for a second, then quickly placed them back along her waist. There was a beat of silence before Charles softly asked, "How'd you end up, like, remembering everything?" 

[vanillacts]

Terrell Suggs and Elvis Dumervil sack Cam Newton for a loss of 12 yards

[caralikesdix-blog]

"My therapist said with this break through my chances of relapsing again are very low.. I just, I’ll need your help to make sure I recover. And I know that sounds so selfish but I will Charles.." she spoke softly, looking over his face. "Because, I don’t wanna lose you, ever."

[oofcharles]

Slowly nodding his head, Charles rolled his shoulders to straighten out his demeanor. "Okay," he agreed easily enough. "That's.. Yeah. That makes sense." He was a little distracted and Charles tilted his head from side to side before peering around the room and asking, "So when do you get to leave? Or - I don't know. How's the baby stuff?" 

[harryswinston-deactivated202110]

[caralikesdix-blog]

Cara smiled at his confession because she missed him more than he could even begin to imagine. “God, I missed you too..” she smiled, noting the way his finger tips on her skin burned scars into her.. her body was covered in invisible scare he had left of the years and she wouldnt have had it any other way.

[oofcharles]

His lips pulled into a weak smile. "Can we not go through this again, though?" he requested, his voice still only a few notches louder than a whisper. "'Cause even if it was, like - if I deserved it or you couldn't stop it or whatever the case was, in all honesty, I don't think I'd be able to handle it." 

[fireinjax-deactivated20141215]

Read More

[oofcharles]

[oofcharles]

real talk tho i'm genuinely contemplating quitting school and moving back in with my cousin again 

like i don't even go to class and i don't know what i want to do anymore and i'm already 30k in debt i can't be doing this anymore

my mom's gonna hate me tho 

that's the only thing 

[caralikesdix-blog]

“Everything.." She reiterated and pulled her hands from his to wrap them around his neck. "I know.." she nodded, her head against his forehead. "I never doubted it for a second.."

[oofcharles]

Charles moved his arms to slide loosely around her waist. "Good," he mumbled. Absentmindedly, he toyed with the edge of her shirt. There were a million things running through his mind right now, all of which Charles decided to save for later when he wasn't too caught up in having her in his arms again to think clearly. Charles ran his over his lips before softly noting, "I missed you." 

[louisquinnzel]

[caralikesdix-blog]

"I would've followed you anywhere, Charles. You were my first love.. My only love. You were my first everything really and we may have had our ups and our downs, lord knows we fought all the time but I loved you. You could've gone to South America to play ball and I would've gone. I was sure that you were all I would ever want and I'm sure now... I love you. Always."

[oofcharles]

He blinked his eyes in a startled manner. "When you say first everything," Charles started slowly. "You mean everything?" It was probably trivial of him to get caught up in that part of her monologue when the more meaningful words were said after, but Charles dared to be a little disappointed he didn't remember that. If he hadn't been hoping that he'd get some of the memories back before, he surely was now. "I love you too," he tacked on, squeezing both hands around hers. "I should have probably said that first, but - I love you too. Always." 

[caralikesdix-blog]

Cara shook her head. "No.. If you hadn't then we wouldn't have ended up here together. If you would've just broke up with me and never said that I would've just gone off and married some stupid car sales man and never came back here.. Never came back to you. It was meant to be." She shrugged, knowing it had to play out like this on order to find him and reconnect. Had they both been fine and met on the street again they would've walked past each other the way old lovers do. "We had to do this.."

[oofcharles]

He hummed in response. Charles was sure there were at least a handful of other ways they could have ended up getting back together without the mess of rehab, but he wasn't in the mood to talk anymore. Charles guided her back to sit on the bed, both his left hand taking hers and flipping it over so her palm was up. "You keep this," he mumbled, placing the ring back in her hand. Charles would have to talk to his mom about it, then maybe Rebecca just for some extra reassurance. "You must have really loved me, huh?" he murmured out of the blue. "I mean, I know you do now so I guess I could assume how it was like back then - but. You were honestly gonna follow me to college? No second guessing or anything?" 

[caralikesdix-blog]

"I know.. but I never want you to think you are alone in this okay? I walked away from you once and I’m not going to ever again. You’re stuck with me.." she laughed lightly, standing so she could rub her thumb over his cheek. "Its a lot to take in.. trust me I’ve been dealing with it for 4 days now.. But, we will get through this okay? Because I love you and you love me.."

[oofcharles]

"I'm sorry for all the," Charles waved his hand a little in front of him to gesture her previous explanation. "I probably didn't say it before everything happened, so I'll just say it now. I was probably a hell of a lot more dumb than I am right now back then and I don't know why I would ever think it'd be a good idea to break up with you, so I'm sorry for that." He slung an arm around her neck to get her closer. "Even though everything sort of worked out, I guess, I just - I really wish I didn't say any of those things that ended up getting you here." 

[caralikesdix-blog]

Cara shrugged a yes, looking down at the small silver circle in her own hands. She stood and walked the distance to where he was and opened his hand, placing the too eve of jewelry in his hand before returning to her spot on the bed. She had thought once he knew it would all come flooding back but she was wrong.. He still didn't remember anything and that was a hard thing to swallow.

[oofcharles]

He rolled the ring between two fingers before clutching it tight to his palm. "I'm sorry," Charles murmured, making his way back to her in small steps. "I can't imagine what this is like for you, because I don't remember the whole.." his voice trailed off and Charles sighed, turning his head a little to the right to look at her. "I love you now, though. And I can hope that I'll remember everything - even if only for a day - but I don't want to get my hopes up, y'know? And I don't want you to either. It's," he shrugged. "This place isn't exactly making me any better, so."