It's been a while. Since the words flowed. It's like my mind has been a constant stream of information going through an unexpected update. My software is still processing. My birthday passed and I woke up elated. Very different from where I was a year ago and yet so much the same. New job, new place, new love, new face. And as a I got in the car, a familiar feeling began to form as tears streamed down my face. I don't know what it was, That mourning of 25 being gone or The joy of survival. Each year is a marker of my existence.My arrival, my ground, my stability And most of all my life. Instead of being 25 and somewhere lost in the shuffle, I was 26 and right here. I wasn't really lost. I didn't know necessarily where I was going but I did know where I wasn't. I think I have grown so used to tears that I find them more of a release than anything. So as I sat there in my car at 26, I cried. I let the tears roll. Releasing everything I could muster. Letting go of that 25 and somewhere and embracing the two legs that were carrying the new weight of 26. It was scary and liberating and most of all a tribute that I was standing, that I was here, and that I am alive. Happy birthday.