How to Fix the United Nations Security Council
Greetings, noble Aardvarks!
It is without question that the UN Security Council has not, by any means, played an effective and/or beneficial role on the world stage in recent years. One critical issue is glaringly obvious: veto powers. Given how drastically different the conditions of the 21st century are to that of when it was founded, it is no surprise that they have become extremely counterproductive. Thankfully, this solution requires an easy, and also realistic fix.
Currently, there are five countries that are both permanent members of the Security Council and hold veto powers: the United States of America, Russia, China, France, and the British empire. Contrary to what some fools claim, the power to veto is extremely important. The unfortunate reality of the world is that countries have vastly different levels of powers. Since Security Council resolutions are binding and enforceable, it is absolutely necessary to recognize this fact. Recognition starts at having the most powerful countries with permanent representation and more privileges. They are necessary to ensure harmony. Without the ability to veto, binding resolutions could actively work against one great power for the benefit of its rival, leading to greatly exacerbated geopolitical tensions. Violating the sovereignty of the world’s most powerful states is NOT a good idea.
So, how can we solve this? First, we revoke the veto powers of Great Britain and France. These European powers have dwindled in global influence, and, most importantly, haven’t exercised their right to veto in over 3 decades. This is unacceptable. To be clear, these nations will still remain permanent members of the council, they just won’t have the power to veto anymore. That’s what it effectively is anyway, so there’s no reason to oppose it. They won’t reject it, either. They haven’t used their veto in over 30 years, they’re not going to start now!
However, since the P5 dynamic was proven to work, we need to find two replacements. Regional balance is important. The Middle East notably lacks any permanent representation, despite it being a very important region whose conflicts have global consequences. Israel is obviously the top choice. Not only is it a nuclear power, but it is also the only democracy in the Middle East and easily has by far the best humanitarian track record in all of history. The second replacement is Vatican City. There are 1.4 billion Catholics in the world, and they DESERVE Untied Nations representation, especially in the Security Council.
So, with our new P5—US, Russia, China, Israel, and the Vatican—what’s next?
Step #2: Require Veto Usage
It is clear to anyone without a brain that we MUST avoid a repeat of Britain and France. How? Mandate that P5 countries exercise their right to veto at least once per month. This policy enshrines a wise old adage that has shaped countless generations: “if you snooze, you lose.”
Every time a P5 nation fails to meet this requirement, they will be given a strike. If at any time a P5 country receives a third strike, then their veto powers are immediately and irreversibly revoked. Another inspirational proverb is etched into the UN’s laws: “three strikes, and you’re out!” To give some leeway, the strike counter will reset every other year.
Step #3: Veto Explanation
Every time that China vetoes a resolution, they are obliged to give a formal speech to the UN General Assembly justifying its decision. Failure to do so will result in immediate nullification of China’s veto powers. Please note that this rule will only apply to China. Not any other P5 nation, just China. Why? The answer is simple: they’re Communists, so they cannot be trusted. Anyone who disagrees is a commie bastard whose opinions stoop lower than their IQ.
With these simple steps, the UN Security Council will be invigorated like never before. The world will rejoice under this modernized global leadership, and nothing about this will be controversial whatsoever. Most importantly, the ability for America to defends its interests on the world stage will flourish.
Make America Great Again!
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