leave this world behind @3-aem - Tumblr Blog

My lil self promo post ✨

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generally if you’re concerned about it, it probably doesn’t have anything to do with you. But if you’re mad about it, yea it’s about you.

Wanted to send you love and support. Your art is so goated, it's some of the best JJK fanart around, I was so shocked to find out your day job is engineering cause someone does this amazing art as a hobby?!?! I thought you'd be a full time artist that went to school for this. Your Gojo and Geto are both really beautiful but also extremely manly and balancing that perfectly is not something that many people can do. You're so hardworking, talented, and resilient too. I wish you all the best, when my financial situation is better in buying so many of your prints. I just know if you went to cons you'd sell out instantly.

Aw 🥺 This is very sweet and kind!!! ❤️❤️❤️ But in general I definitely would prefer people keep their money as savings 😭

I definitely don’t do art for financials. I really do art because its the vessel for a deeply harbored trauma loop-

#ask #answer #haters get their mind blown when i say i dont do art for financials because thats half their argument against me #it doesnt make me much and I feel like I could do stuff like open a patreon or take on comms #but then that becomes work #and i have enough #stress and things to do

discovering the unique grief of making a normal sized anything in pottery atm

#throwing a cup means throwing a disgustingly large cup first #and watching it shrivel down to size #me ive done it #i have thrown a tall piece thst will shrivel down to a comfortable 4 inches #the diameter:#im in the hope and pray #my bf going; i cant throw anything when im angry #vs me in the studio today absolutely steaming with anger #the face i make when i scrap off the turn table after a failed piece #but i find it okay #i just wedge until i am calm and then try again #my instructor is quite nice tho bc i am also in a: suddenly i suck at trimming really badly #era of my progress #and she was like oh the bottom of this bowl youve basically punched right through it #and i was like 😭😭😭😭 and put the lid i made on the bowl #wnd was like but this bowl has a lid #and she was like so cute okay i will save it #and began leveling out the bottom #the bowl and lid which i also somehow messed up in trimming #EVEN THO I DEFINITELY LEFT ENOUGH BOTTOM #are both sitting in the greenware icu #aka on a ware board wrapped in plastic #until i eventually slowly carefully reached bone dry #im gonna end up with cups that are just gradually increasing in size #bc On God #I just want something Usable #i really thought 2.5 inches was a good diameter #but my canadian got in the way

3-aem

loose quotes of me on call playing re2 tonight:

can you watch me play re2 im really scared mr x is gonna touch me

NO THEYRE GOING TO CALL ME A LEON KENNEDY LARPER IF I CANT DO THIS *running around the map really confused*

marvin is dead, *checks him* nevermind he’s alive, *turns around* but i know he’s gonna die soon and ruin my entire life

*in the library* i dont know what is happening, leon you Can jump this I believe in you

*zombie, enter left stage, angry* PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME *firing bullets* I AM VERY EASILY STARTLED

oh they just broke through the door 😭😭

i need a guide im sorry im color blind so yellow paint doesn’t work on me

they keep talking about a boiler room but then i go how to get to boiler room and now theyre talking about a basement??? and i ask how to get to basement- i need a lever??? WHERE IS THE LEVER-

dont touch me dont touch me dont touch me

*scream crying booking it to the safe room*

*boarding up a window as a zombie is crawling in* okay you come in but no more

DONT TOUCH ME

that might be enough for tonight mhm mhm *exits off* …. *reopens on* i just want to do one more thing

3-aem

tonight

okay folks i had a shit end to my day so im not trapped in here with you, you’re now trapped in here with me

*holding to lift a bookshelf* I cannot believe they made leon’s twunkyness a mechanic in this game

ada wong 😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

*pointing my light at a dog sized hole* see that? life ruining shit thats going to be

I think, I feel I might be in a morgue…(sarcasm) *rolls a tray out and sees its a body* *rolls it back in*

Is that Mr X music where is- *gets walloped*

*mixing all my herbs incorrectly and brazenly*

*literally opening the map every 5 paces bc directionally challenged as hell.* Yea you have to play the game twice for the true ending and they move stuff around the second time or whatever but its okay bc I already dont know where anything is. I dont even know where I am.

*kept getting safe room cucked by mr x* Please an autosave would be nice I want to stop playing this game 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#mr x really makes u choose the lesser of two evils #so many times im forced down an infested hallway in an attempt to juke #and actually once I managed to get pretty far but thats when zombie licker combo got me #i had kind of a shit day #i went in to pottery today and started trimming a mug #first time this has happened to me but i trimmed through the bottom #and then in my anger i cut the next piece off the board too thick at rhe bottom #and it was already off center and i just gave up #and picked up more clay #and i failed to center it #so i picked up more clay #and then just as i centered it the block lost power #then i got into a fight ig with my boyfriend #also why do they have a morgue oh my god #like wasnt this a museum before it was a police station #do police stations normally have a morgue???#I was genuinely like peak angry when i got home #tbh i think i had a pretty good play tonight #i only died like 3 times #idk the game didnt really make me feel better #and i feel like im just gonna go lay in bed looking at the ceiling and listening to sunrise on the reaping or whatever #my millennial sleeper agent woke up the other day and was like #yo did someone say hunger games?????

Ive been really enjoying learning pottery, largely because it’s real. its physical. its present.

When I sit there in the studio, and my skills that I continue to hone takes a physical form in front of me, I finally feel like an artist, like I have earned the right and irrevocably so, and I finally feel free.

#And i think about it everyday my relationship with art #its not even my relationship with art though #its the broad you that I am addressing not the reader of this probably #like it feels so good to admit it and say it but I Hate #I Hate You and I Hate Me #I just Hate #And there is no creating when there is this much Hate #i really do think about it everyday #there isnt a single day it doesnt cross my mind #but i really just Hate #fuck you and fuck me #there is kind of a loaded meaning behind this post #and yes I dont feel like an artist online #and its kind of literally because of you #i used to think i would never be happy if i wasnt doing this #now i wish i never started #and if you call yourself an artist #if you respect art so much #dont you think that is a crime #dont you have some shame for that #i used to wake up at 8am and draw till 3am #And it was a dedication so strong i fear it now #the way someone could shred their body apart like that in ambition #perhaps its why today the culmination of that feels hollow and ridiculous #I will never go back to that #but there is no justice in this world if this is the result #if ive gained nothing but hard lessons from it #and probably an earlier grave

I could larp as grace ashcroft easily, u can just take any of my text chains at work and it would be something she’d say.

#saying this to make myself feel better after The Worst Interaction #oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also i dont trust ppl who dont like grace im sorry 😞😞😞😞#all i hear is misogyny misogyny misogyny #grace is infantilized #idk what is infantilizing about being scared in a scary situation bruh #insisting women must be these infallible heroines and going omg shes so annoying when theyre not #what that sound like to u #oh shes passive blah blah literally being passive and meek would be sitting in the care center refusing to help urself #her entire arc is going: nuh uh im getting out of here #i feel insane when i see the comments against her bc like did we play the same game #this turned into a rant about graces character bc i dont wanna open my work slack #oh i want complex women #gets handed a complex woman: no i dont want that one #like did i miss identify the quirky pick me class 101 #graces mom was killed yet she still went into the fbi presumably to ensure the perpetrator never stays unknown like it was for her case #girl gets scared shitless but still perseveres #leon gives her a way out #she refuses #real ppl make non sensical decisions in times of stress and live to regret them #but shes an fbi she should know better #idk why we are both sitting here pretending like we know the fbi hiring process #i dont think grace has such crippling ptsd that she cant overcome #we see her literally overcome it multiple times #ppl point to her interaction with the police officer #and im like ya that silly her gun is even in her bag #but my read is not omg ahes so stupid and annoying #but shes so hyperfocused on this case and the location she forgets the protocol #and she evidently doesnt have a lot of on field time #i am graces strongest shooter but only in this tag section apparently

men when women make a small mistake or express they don’t fully understand some niche they’ve never worked on: here is your 3 month performance improvement plan, it literally says “do everything and know everything” and if you don’t meet it you’re fired 🖕

men when another man is just outright consistently incompetent: I understand, listen you tried your best though and issues come up 🤝 I’m going to give you a year to prove you can do utter novice work because everyone deserves chances 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

#got a text from an excoworker today like: michael got fired today #and i was just sitting there like 🤩✨⭐️💫 Finally #based on a true story because I was just sitting there eyeing michael spend 2 hours to add 5 buttons #and not know how to use debugging tools as a SENIOR ENGINEER #meanwhile i was getting flack for deadass the QA engineer not replying to me multiple times #and listen the QA eng is a man and also my ex managers personal hire #so I guess it Was my fault #because….im woman #read that sarcastically #having that happen early in my career definitely did NOT shape how i view my superiors #or instill a deep deep mistrust in how feedback can be delivered sensibly #also read that sarcastically

loose quotes of me on call playing re2 tonight:

can you watch me play re2 im really scared mr x is gonna touch me

NO THEYRE GOING TO CALL ME A LEON KENNEDY LARPER IF I CANT DO THIS *running around the map really confused*

marvin is dead, *checks him* nevermind he’s alive, *turns around* but i know he’s gonna die soon and ruin my entire life

*in the library* i dont know what is happening, leon you Can jump this I believe in you

*zombie, enter left stage, angry* PLEASE STOP YELLING AT ME *firing bullets* I AM VERY EASILY STARTLED

oh they just broke through the door 😭😭

i need a guide im sorry im color blind so yellow paint doesn’t work on me

they keep talking about a boiler room but then i go how to get to boiler room and now theyre talking about a basement??? and i ask how to get to basement- i need a lever??? WHERE IS THE LEVER-

dont touch me dont touch me dont touch me

*scream crying booking it to the safe room*

*boarding up a window as a zombie is crawling in* okay you come in but no more

DONT TOUCH ME

that might be enough for tonight mhm mhm *exits off* …. *reopens on* i just want to do one more thing

#apparently my confusion is entertaining #to my credit i found on door that was chained up by myself #to my discredit i am very easily disoriented and will immediately forget where everything is #honorable mention: no this is a licker #and it cant see so if i just walk *licker drops down* *panic shoots it*#im ngl this made me feel like re9 was set to baby mode 😭😭😭😭#why are there so many keys what kind of fked up museum x police station-#although i am able to commentate while playing this game #certain sections of re9 i was just like: no i gotta focus on being scared im sorry #man i miss grace #i hope she returns and soon

3-aem

Exercise

3-aem

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please help me find your toji art

That ask was in a queue 😰😰😰😰 which I recently turned back on without looking at all the ancient answers that would be posted

so the sad story is that toji art is lost media and you can in fact blame the tumblr @support team who refuse to respond to my emails to free my art portfolio

#ask

would just like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for doing justice to toji's bakery. thank ur highness 🙌🙌

this is such a late reply but i think its only bc i reas tojis bakery 5 times and each time refused to acknowledge what exactly you meant

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Exercise

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leave this world behind