By how very much emphasis Heated Rivalry fandom puts on complex bottom prep, especially douching. It's not in the canon!
Was there a streak of oddly dictatorial "Gay Sex Info For Fujoshis" resources while I was out of the fandom?
Do the fandom twitter / instagram ecosystems intersect with Bitchy Gay Social Media so much that "top privilege" and tiktoks of wildly excessive pre-sex routines, "bottoms can't eat on dates", etc have taken over fandom's brain?
Now, my guts hate me, which is one reason why my ass is not part of the playground. But even so, circadian rhythms! You are not 30-60 minutes away from having poop in your rectum at all times of the day.
This is pretty bad advice. If your guts hate you, an an enema might be an option but a) the amount of repeats predicted here is likely to give you internal irritation and b) the "time window" has nothing to do with the amount of water, everything to do with what time of day it is + what way your guts hate you today.
If your guts do not hate you, wash your arse and don't get fucked during the 1-2 hour window of the day when you normally have your allocated bowel movements!
You do not actually want to fill yourself up all the way to the transverse colon, with tap water, and certainly not regularly. The "fast" version if done too frequently has plenty of gut biome risks!
I got my early explainers on Anal Sex, the Having Of, from a) other fangirls who were in m/f relationships had had tried it and b) a straight(ish) guy who I wanted to peg who wanted me to peg him. At the time I was getting those explanations, the "Gay Guys Explain Things For Fujoshis" explainers tended to be sometimes, we do this thing called douching - not always but more often than you depict. Given that last time I was on twitter, the algorithm did seem to want to feed me "Woe, the things Bottoms Suffer, the things we Always Do" content, there might have been a vibe shift over time?
I've been reading the work of Edmund White. There's no way that man is tactfully leaving out a bunch of douching, there's so much other quite gross detail in his accounts of queer sex in new york before the AIDS crisis and NY/Paris during it.
For myself, my guts do hate me (in a way which has me specifically aware of the 24 hour patterns and 1-3 day patterns to all this), and I have some experience messing around with cis men's asses. Straight ones, even.
Contrary to what neurotic gay bottoms on tiktok/twitter will tel you, it is perfectly possible to spend a couple of hours at dinner, both of you eating a hearty Persian stew, and then go home and peg him, without him taking a 10-30 minute interval for mysterious preparations, avoiding dinner, or having done complicated advance preparations with immodium or something. That was a second date!
This explainer from self.com maps onto both my medical knowledge and experience of other people's asses:
Again, you don’t necessarily need an enema. As we just established, the chances of you pooping on your partner mid-act are slim to none. But there’s usually no harm in doing an enema as long as you’re not doing it often enough to irritate your rectum, Dr. Frankhouse says. He recommends only doing them once every few months and following the instructions every time. If your butt starts feeling irritated when you do an enema, that’s a sign you should quit. Other than that, you can concentrate on external anal hygiene.
Please also consider Glamour.com's guide to anal sex, for an audience of women who are presumed to be the recieving party. If you're halfway plugged in to the pearl-clutching "porn is pressuring the ladies" side of the internet / feminist commentary, you may know that there's a strong belief that women and girls are being pressured into doing anal sex, although hard data is hard to come by. Consider another intro post from Mamamia, an Australian centre-lib women's website on things to consider if you're curious about anal sex.
Neither Glamour nor Mamamia are telling the straight girlies "flood your transverse colon if you expect your sexual activities to take place or continue beyond 3 hours after your douch, also spend up to 60 minutes on prep". Why are they not doing this? It's not like straight men have a collective chill and normal attitude to women's bodily functions.
They're not doing this because it's just very unlikely that you need to fend off an oncoming bowel movement, unless you're considering getting fucked in the ass half an hour before your usual Bowel Movement Time!
Please consider whether there might be some complicated reasons why "omg hygeine" is dialled up to illogical extremes when talking about gay sex, compared to the exact same, and in fact physically more risky, act of anal penetration for a cis woman.
