thereās something special about it, being here. as though he was like a kind of otherness detained by a sliver of the world and now released unto the rest of it. the coming of something subservient to like-minded unknowables, blooming in the midst of the people. itās a gushing kind of feeling, a warmth, whose fever incinerates the very pit of his gut with a lustful hell, stretches from end to end of his body in a wholehearted encapsulation. one that leaves the inside of him stretched so thin, heās impalpable. is that the word? a nonsolid, something too undefined to be adherent to any definitive rubricāheās in the midst of it all and reaping its greatest parts like a very lucky vulture, like the one who gets there first. heās thinking about that person in the corner, their rich eyes and their hair even richer. how pretty they are generally and how they intone their laughs depending on the people theyāre around. would they laugh like that with him? heās covered in a drink now, though; not thinking about that person anymore but this person here. theyāre saying something like an apology and an explanation and glasses. dowon is watching, wry smile on his lips, vulpinely, felinelyāeither way, the kind of curiosity that feels somehow ominous at its very tip. he tilts his head, smiles like heād reached into himself for that piece warmly kindled and tore it out with his bare hand to smother them both in it. feigning pain but not too much pain, nothing physical. the kind where youāve been inconvenienced and you know that you have but you donāt want the other person to worry. the persevering kind that musters a little bit of sympathy, maybe. makes someone think how nice you are. kind. heās kind.
āahh. hmm.ā dowon tilts his head, gives his body a dismissive once-over like what really matters is the contents of the otherās drink and whether or not they'll ever find happiness again after this. āare you okay? i hit you really hardāthatās my bad.ā the smile on his mouth withstanding. heās kind. āi donāt think i saw any glasses but i can help you look for them? may be tough ācause thereās so many people around but itās worth a shot.ā
the issue with dowon is that kiha's been so used to watching him from afar that now that he's this uncomfortably close, they're not quite sure what to do with themselves. unprepared isn't enough of a word to encapsulate just how flustered they are to be watched by him like this, the corners of his lips turned up like they always are whenever he interacts with others. is he smiling because he's annoyed? they ask themselves, and that thudding of their heart gets that much more louder to their own ears, or is he smiling because he's being nice? the way that he's always smiling with others, even if it doesn't seem to reach his eyes? they can't decide on an answer quick enough to stop the words from spiling out of their mouth, a ramble in their form and content. "no!- i mean -- i'm okay. no to you hitting me hard -- that was my bad, i wasn't looking where i was going. you were just there." kiha bites their tongue, the pink of their skin deepening into a flush that definitely negates the effect of any of the stars that jiwon had stuck onto their face. the alcohol catches up to their mouth far quicker than the embarrassment does, but the combined effort of both is enough for them to run their words together like a motor. "sorry, again. i should've been looking and not rushing around like that. it would've been bad if i ran into someone that wasn't as nice as you, right?"
they break off into an awkward laugh then, their nails digging into the palms of their hand like they're trying to ground themselves back into reality. reality strikes when they realise that, as hard as it is for them to believe that dowon's having a conversation with them, their glasses are still pitifully lost. "ah -- i don't want to, um, take you away from your -- " they glance over at the gaggle of people watching them, and kiha tries to act like their voice doesn't falter when they say the next word, " -- um, friends. i think they're waiting for you."













