post-undead

BORN TO DIE WORLD IS A FUCK 鬼神 Kill Em All 1989 I am trash man 410,757,864,530 DEAD COPS pickman/m/boston, ma/pnath preemptive warning for gore

[misk-u]

@MiskResLife Anybody on campus over the summer?

I think there’s some kind of event tonight if anybody wants to hang out

[420ghxxl]

? 

what’s happening?

[420ghxxl]

you still undead, or are you dead-dead now?

undead but it's hard to post with claws

[420ghxxl]

“How?”

He pulls himself up. “I’ll accept the attempt at an apology, and I understand you can’t stop taking sacrifices - but are you going to take less? To try to make it more humane, somehow? What are you going to do?”

[not-zkauba]

That made Randolph pause. What would Richard want to hear? And what would he have the self-control to actually do?

“I could put the word out in the right circles to make sure everyone coming to me is coming of their own free will. And I can make sure they have a quick, relatively painless death when it’s their time.” he offered, hoping it wound be enough. Or that it would be a start, at least.

[420ghxxl]

“Isn’t that what you promised to do before?” Asks Richard. “What’s going to stop you from going back? What’s going to stop your husband from going behind you and making more sacrifices?”

[not-zkauba]

Randolph closed his eyes, obviously very uncomfortable with the whole situation. “I know I did. I messed up once, and after that it became more and more simple to just let go. That said, I am going to try my best to not go down that path again. My word might not mean much at this point, but I really am going to try.” he said, before broaching the subject of Nyarlathotep. “As for my husband, I can’t really stop him if he’s got it in his head to do something. Not only is he more powerful than me, he’s much better at using it. I can try to stop him, but I doubt it would change his mind.”

[420ghxxl]

“I suppose I could return for you. So you have some influence in your life that isn’t…” Richard decides not to finish the sentence. As lowly as  he thinks of Nyarlathotep, he doesn’t want to say it in front of Randolph. Especially not when he’s in this state. “Maybe it’s partially my fault you forgot you were human once, too.”

And if he tries something, I have the Nightgaunts.

[not-zkauba]

Randolph nods, slowly shifting out of his overtly Eldritch form. “That could work…” he said encouragingly. He wasn’t sure whether it would actually work, but it was worth a try.

Part of him was screaming to be wild and abandon all human concepts of rationality and sanity, but the other, slightly more dominant part desperately wanted to be human again. “Whatever happens, don’t blame yourself if it doesn’t work at first. I don’t think I’m a lost cause yet, but I also don’t think this is going to be a walk in the park.”

[420ghxxl]

He smiles - mimicking Randolph’s return to humanity, he shows his teeth as nonthreateningly as he can. “I’ll try to make it easier for you.” And I’ll watch Nyarlathotep.

He looks up at the sky - it’s still early, with the moon high above. “Let’s go back inside,” says Richard, and as he turns to go back in, he takes Randolph by the forearm. In spite of everything, he feels optimistic.

[420ghxxl]

“How?”

He pulls himself up. “I’ll accept the attempt at an apology, and I understand you can’t stop taking sacrifices - but are you going to take less? To try to make it more humane, somehow? What are you going to do?”

[not-zkauba]

That made Randolph pause. What would Richard want to hear? And what would he have the self-control to actually do?

“I could put the word out in the right circles to make sure everyone coming to me is coming of their own free will. And I can make sure they have a quick, relatively painless death when it’s their time.” he offered, hoping it wound be enough. Or that it would be a start, at least.

[420ghxxl]

“Isn’t that what you promised to do before?” Asks Richard. “What’s going to stop you from going back? What’s going to stop your husband from going behind you and making more sacrifices?”

[not-zkauba]

Randolph closed his eyes, obviously very uncomfortable with the whole situation. “I know I did. I messed up once, and after that it became more and more simple to just let go. That said, I am going to try my best to not go down that path again. My word might not mean much at this point, but I really am going to try.” he said, before broaching the subject of Nyarlathotep. “As for my husband, I can’t really stop him if he’s got it in his head to do something. Not only is he more powerful than me, he’s much better at using it. I can try to stop him, but I doubt it would change his mind.”

[420ghxxl]

“I suppose I could return for you. So you have some influence in your life that isn’t...” Richard decides not to finish the sentence. As lowly as  he thinks of Nyarlathotep, he doesn’t want to say it in front of Randolph. Especially not when he’s in this state. “Maybe it’s partially my fault you forgot you were human once, too.”

And if he tries something, I have the Nightgaunts.

[420ghxxl]

“How?”

He pulls himself up. “I’ll accept the attempt at an apology, and I understand you can’t stop taking sacrifices - but are you going to take less? To try to make it more humane, somehow? What are you going to do?”

[not-zkauba]

That made Randolph pause. What would Richard want to hear? And what would he have the self-control to actually do?

“I could put the word out in the right circles to make sure everyone coming to me is coming of their own free will. And I can make sure they have a quick, relatively painless death when it’s their time.” he offered, hoping it wound be enough. Or that it would be a start, at least.

[420ghxxl]

"Isn't that what you promised to do before?" Asks Richard. "What's going to stop you from going back? What's going to stop your husband from going behind you and making more sacrifices?"

[420ghxxl]

“How?”

He pulls himself up. “I’ll accept the attempt at an apology, and I understand you can’t stop taking sacrifices - but are you going to take less? To try to make it more humane, somehow? What are you going to do?”

[420ghxxl]

“I can’t,” says Richard, and he’s calm. He stares down Randolph, and as eyes emerge from his skin he focuses on the original pair. “If I die here because of you, I die here because of you. If you don’t want to kill me, don’t kill me. Otherwise, I’ll just wait.”

He lowers his arms with effort, and closes his eyes.

[not-zkauba]

Randolph broke down, both figuratively and literally. That part of him clocked out for the night as he lost all appearance of humanity, continuing to mutate in front of his friend. This time, it was the eyes that started popping up in clusters of five or six at a time, sometimes with rudimentary noses and ears, but most were without. 

The sheer force of the transformation brought Randolph to his knees, still trying to keep eye contact with his friend through his original pair. When the mutation had slowed down somewhat, he stood up to his full (now slightly taller) height. While Randolph always had an edge of the Outside to his humanity, the figure that stood before Richard Pickman was the opposite: mostly Outside with a suggestion of human-ness in the form and voice.

“We’re not going to kill you, ghoul, open your eyes.”

[420ghxxl]

Richard has to force himself to. He expects some burst of light, something that will fry his eyes and make him blind and mad. But when he opens them, he finds there's something recognizable remaining. An anchor, a way to dim the intensity of the impossible forms. But still, he can't speak. He opens his mouth slightly, but stares in silence.

[420ghxxl]

“I can’t,” says Richard, and he’s calm. He stares down Randolph, and as eyes emerge from his skin he focuses on the original pair. “If I die here because of you, I die here because of you. If you don’t want to kill me, don’t kill me. Otherwise, I’ll just wait.”

He lowers his arms with effort, and closes his eyes.

[420ghxxl]

“You could at least stop trying to rationalize and say you fucked up. You’re not gonna be able to make a decree or tribute and bring them back. I don’t want anything from you, and I really don’t want you to try and make things up. You can’t.” On that, Richard turns his back to him

[not-zkauba]

Randolph was speechless. He thought what he had said was owning up to it, why was being calm rationalizing? Come to think of it, why was “rational” a bad thing? He wanted to do right by them, but Richard was giving him nothing to work with.

“You’re right. I fucked up. I don’t want to ruin our friendship too. I at least like to think we were close. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to save it.” He had to try.

[420ghxxl]

“I told you. There’s nothing you’re going to be able to do.” He doesn’t turn back around, but he doesn’t walk away, either. It’s nothing new. Randolph’s been like this since he met him - the only difference now is the higher stakes. He’s been chewing on his lip this entire time, he notices. “I want to keep our friendship too. I guess I’d rather just be friends with a bad person who’s willing to admit it, than someone who acts like an innocent victim of circumstances.”

[not-zkauba]

Ok, that was it.

“I’m trying!” 

Randolph yelled at his friend, feeling his control on reality slip. “I’m not good at this, I know I fucked up, but I’m ţ͔r̞͎̯͉͞yi̝͈̗̭͓̘̙ṇ͖̜̥͕̩̺g̸̼ !” He could feel various appendages start to unravel from his body starting at the back, but he couldn’t deal with Richard’s attitude and his inhuman self screaming for freedom, for blood, to teach the foolhardy ghoul a lesson, at the same time.

[420ghxxl]

Richard turns around - or rather, is compelled to turn, held in place facing Randolph as the human body slips away again. Attempts to move his arms and legs fail. I guess I wouldn’t want anyone else to kill me, he thinks, irony being the only thing keeping him out of abject terror.

And yet, he finds himself able to speak. And when he speaks, he says:

“Are you?”

[420ghxxl]

“You could at least stop trying to rationalize and say you fucked up. You’re not gonna be able to make a decree or tribute and bring them back. I don’t want anything from you, and I really don’t want you to try and make things up. You can’t.” On that, Richard turns his back to him

[not-zkauba]

Randolph was speechless. He thought what he had said was owning up to it, why was being calm rationalizing? Come to think of it, why was “rational” a bad thing? He wanted to do right by them, but Richard was giving him nothing to work with.

“You’re right. I fucked up. I don’t want to ruin our friendship too. I at least like to think we were close. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to save it.” He had to try.

[420ghxxl]

“I told you. There’s nothing you’re going to be able to do.” He doesn’t turn back around, but he doesn’t walk away, either. It’s nothing new. Randolph’s been like this since he met him - the only difference now is the higher stakes. He’s been chewing on his lip this entire time, he notices. “I want to keep our friendship too. I guess I’d rather just be friends with a bad person who’s willing to admit it, than someone who acts like an innocent victim of circumstances.”

[420ghxxl]

"You could at least stop trying to rationalize and say you fucked up. You're not gonna be able to make a decree or tribute and bring them back. I don't want anything from you, and I really don't want you to try and make things up. You can't." On that, Richard turns his back to him

[420ghxxl]

“I’d rather see it like this than have you keep lying to me about it!” Despite knowing he’s now weaker than Randolph, Richard shoves him back into the shed. “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. I still remember how many ghouls died from your goddamn quest. Sometimes it’s just inconvenient for you to act ethically, right?”

[not-zkauba]

Randolph allows himself to be pushed back, looking very uncomfortable with the whole situation. “That wasn’t me, I didn’t know they’d be captured. I didn’t realize they’d be killed. If I had, I wouldn’t have sent them. I may not show it like you, but I feel guilty too.”

[420ghxxl]

“You didn’t even come back. Packs were left behind and didn’t know what happened, the few that found their way home we’re never the same.” Richard follows Randolph in. “Or what about the Zoogs? How many died in a war that wouldn’t have happened had you actually taken some care and not relied on everyone else in the Dreamlands for help?”

[not-zkauba]

“Looking back at it, I was careless. I could have handled things better. But the Zoogs can’t be blamed on me. Yes, I did alert the cats to their sneak attack plans, and yes, that did kick off their war, but they would have fought anyway without my interference.” Randolph said, putting things together for a strong pot of coffee. “Their plans were already set, they were going to war whether I had told the cats or not.”

[420ghxxl]

“Can you quit rationalizing and just say you’re responsible for something?!” Richard can’t stop himself from reaching out and smacking Randolph across the face. It’s not hard, but his claws are out and they draw blood. “I’m willing to own up to fucking up Thurber’s life, I’m responsible for my pack - you can’t even admit your faults to a friend.”

[420ghxxl]

“I’d rather see it like this than have you keep lying to me about it!” Despite knowing he’s now weaker than Randolph, Richard shoves him back into the shed. “I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised. I still remember how many ghouls died from your goddamn quest. Sometimes it’s just inconvenient for you to act ethically, right?”

[not-zkauba]

Randolph allows himself to be pushed back, looking very uncomfortable with the whole situation. “That wasn’t me, I didn’t know they’d be captured. I didn’t realize they’d be killed. If I had, I wouldn’t have sent them. I may not show it like you, but I feel guilty too.”

[420ghxxl]

"You didn't even come back. Packs were left behind and didn't know what happened, the few that found their way home we're never the same." Richard follows Randolph in. "Or what about the Zoogs? How many died in a war that wouldn't have happened had you actually taken some care and not relied on everyone else in the Dreamlands for help?"

[420ghxxl]

"I'd rather see it like this than have you keep lying to me about it!" Despite knowing he's now weaker than Randolph, Richard shoves him back into the shed. "I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. I still remember how many ghouls died from your goddamn quest. Sometimes it's just inconvenient for you to act ethically, right?"

[420ghxxl]

Richard already knows that. And he knows the window opens just wide enough to pop out the screen and shimmy through, landing on all fours in the dark along the side of the house. He crawls across the dirt alongside the trees. The shed isn’t too far, he sprints to it and puts a hand on the latch.

[not-zkauba]

Randolph made it to the shed just before his ghoulish friend started creeping across the yard. The man inside looked sharply up as he entered, trying to push past Randolph–or at least fight back. Needless to say, that only succeeded in delivering the man more quickly to his death. 

A quick jerk of the neck later and the man was dead, leaving Val’hries to feast in relative peace and quiet.

[420ghxxl]

Richard hears the crack as he opens the door. He watches a human body crumple to the floor, and the other human quickly become less so. His eyes are more accustomed to the dark, but right now, he wishes they weren’t. Limbs and mouths and tentacles expand outward from the body of his friend, the new entity that’s supplanted him jumping from its shell to feed. They pass through each other and wrap around each other and twist as if the body isn’t suited to the restraints of the world, and Richard feels himself getting dizzy.

The first coherent thought he has is, “I have to paint him.” The second is horror, the third is anger, and the fourth one he settles on is grief.

[not-zkauba]

Val’hries tore through his meal quickly, making sure no drop was wasted. Once the body had disappeared, the limbs and tentacles folded back into the body of Randolph Carter. He checked his reflection in a small mirror by the door–not a hair out of place–and left to head back to where his guest ought to be.

[420ghxxl]

Richard stands in front of Randolph as he exits. He looks over the human form; he keeps his face neutral. There’s no emotion in his body or his voice as he surveys the now empty shed. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

[not-zkauba]

Shit. Randolph took a moment to compose himself before he replied. This wasn’t how he had expected to break the news that he was participating in active human sacrifice, even if it was to his best friend.

“I need to eat, Richard. I didn’t know you were coming over and I didn’t have time to cancel it. I figured faster was better in this situation. Unless, of course, you want to go get your camera.”

[420ghxxl]

"If this is how you make it easy for them, I'd love to see what your partner does." Most of the bitterness falls on the word partner. It is, after all, Nyarlathotep's fault. But Richard sees Randolph, and he sees how he failed to surpass the Crawling Chaos, and how he himself failed in keeping his friend safe. He's about to turn around and just leave. To walk away, return to Pnath, make some shitty paintings in anger and shred the canvas. But three feet from the shed he turns around again and says, "I also really appreciate how you tried to keep me out of this. Really shows you prioritize keeping your God-whore around over actual friends."

[thenoisiestpassenger-deactivate]

[420ghxxl]

Richard already knows that. And he knows the window opens just wide enough to pop out the screen and shimmy through, landing on all fours in the dark along the side of the house. He crawls across the dirt alongside the trees. The shed isn’t too far, he sprints to it and puts a hand on the latch.

[not-zkauba]

Randolph made it to the shed just before his ghoulish friend started creeping across the yard. The man inside looked sharply up as he entered, trying to push past Randolph–or at least fight back. Needless to say, that only succeeded in delivering the man more quickly to his death. 

A quick jerk of the neck later and the man was dead, leaving Val’hries to feast in relative peace and quiet.

[420ghxxl]

Richard hears the crack as he opens the door. He watches a human body crumple to the floor, and the other human quickly become less so. His eyes are more accustomed to the dark, but right now, he wishes they weren’t. Limbs and mouths and tentacles expand outward from the body of his friend, the new entity that’s supplanted him jumping from its shell to feed. They pass through each other and wrap around each other and twist as if the body isn’t suited to the restraints of the world, and Richard feels himself getting dizzy.

The first coherent thought he has is, “I have to paint him.” The second is horror, the third is anger, and the fourth one he settles on is grief.

[not-zkauba]

Val’hries tore through his meal quickly, making sure no drop was wasted. Once the body had disappeared, the limbs and tentacles folded back into the body of Randolph Carter. He checked his reflection in a small mirror by the door–not a hair out of place–and left to head back to where his guest ought to be.

[420ghxxl]

Richard stands in front of Randolph as he exits. He looks over the human form; he keeps his face neutral. There’s no emotion in his body or his voice as he surveys the now empty shed. “Did you enjoy yourself?”