hey! So take this draft while I’ve been unmotivated to write, I started writing this while ago when I had a massive crush on chanelle and she was talking to another boy😭
⚠️Warnings⚠️: self harm (please don’t read if u struggle with this), tickles
Characters: Lee!fem!reader, ler!sam, ler!tara
She messaged you. Your crush messaged you. The pit in your stomach grew. Normally at this notification your smile would be growing and your heart would be pounding with the butterflies in your stomach doing backflips. But your crush was also your straight bestfriend. Who was currently out with another boy who she had been talking and showing and interest in recently and your heart was shattering. Shattering like glass. You felt stupid. Selfish. You knew that she would never like you in any way more then a friend, yet something still drew you towards her. Wanting her. Longing for her company. You were just some weird lesbian and she was straight. A beautiful, model-material, hour glass body straight girl. As if she would ever be attracted to somebody like you, you thought. You knew all of this but yet seeing her slowly fall Inlove with another guy slowly killed you. She was your escape. Your home. Your comfort person and the person you truly loved most in the world. But she had eyes for another. And that other would never be you. How could somebody you valued as your source of comfort also hurt you so much. You felt like your heart was being ripped out form your chest and stomped on. Ofcourse, none of this was her fault. Not at all. You knew that this was your fault, for falling for her again. For letting yourself get so lost that you fall head over heels Inlove with her again. Hadnt you Learnt? The first time you fell for her was when she had a boyfriend. You got over her and then she became single. Even then you knew that you guys had 0% chance of being together but even then, you were her world. Her bestfeiend. The person she focused on. Yeah, you were still her bestfriend but it was obvious that her attention layed somewhere else. You felt so selfish. Selfish for feeling this way. You should be happy for her. Happy that she had moved on and found her somebody else that made her happy. But you wanted the person that made her happy to be you.
You finally brought yourself to open the message. And that’s when the pit in your stomach, became a black whole. “Omg! Y/n! I kissed him!!” You eyes became watery very quickly and you forced your thumbs to type back “Omg what! That’s so cute, happy for you”. Everything you said in that message was the opposite of how you felt. You turned off your phone and threw it against your mattress in an overwhelming build up of rage and let the water in your eyes slowly trickle down your cheeks. You mentally slapped yourself for getting so upset about this whole ordeal. But it was useless. Your mind drifting back to the text. The text replaying in your mind. Over and over again. You just gave up. You reached for the scissors on the side of your bed and slid the blade against your thigh. One cut became two, and two cuts became your whole thigh bleeding. The stinging sensation didn’t make you feel any better. You just thought you deserved it. You deserved this pain for letting yourself become so stupid and selfish. Again and again the scissors met with your skin creating red lines to a-pear. Your cries became soft wails and you quietly sobbed into your duvet. Trying to muffle the sounds of your wincing and cries. Getting carried away, you didn’t stop. Your thighs becoming a canvas full of ugly. Well deserving red lines. The healed scars that you promised to stay healed became fresh cuts..over a girl. It was shameful. It wasn’t even her fault. It was yours. This definitely was dramatic, you were being so overdramatic just because your girl bestfriend (crush) kissed another guy? Just because she wasn’t into you. Just because you were unlovable. Just because you loved her so much that it hurt to see her with anybody else. There was only one word to describe you as. Selfish.
You put the scissors away, you let the blood dry and you and pulled up your Pastell coloured pyjama trousers back up. You sniffled and wiped away the tears from your eyes and you started taking deep breaths. Pull yourself together y/n. You thought. And so you did. As quickly as you got into that mess, you got “out of it” acting as if nothing happened and if everything was fine. You let the puffiness in your eyes die down a little before you finally got out of your bed and opened the door. Dragging your feet along as you moped down the stairs and into the living room. Where your two older sisters. Sam and tara sat. Watching tv. Looking up as they hear you walk into the living room
“hey y/n!” Sam said with a warm smile. You forced your lips to move upwards slightly. Trying your best to give her a smile back “hey guys” you said before sitting down on the sofa. Your flat tone prominent in your voice. Tara furrowed her eyebrows slightly. Seeing as you weren’t your usual energetic, bubbly self. “y/n? What’s wrong?” She spoke in a gently and caring voice “I just.. I just had a bad day” you said bluntly. You just felt numb at this point. Sam watched you before sighing a little, not in annoyance, more in sympathy. “Hey, come here” she said as she stood up from her sitting position and walked over before sitting next to you. Pulling you into a hug. Tara wasn’t far behind her. She also stood up and sat on the other side of you. You let yourself fall back into sams hug as you rested your head on her chest and she held you In her arms. Her big sister instinct naturally kicked in and she knew that you needed them right now. And Tara just sat next to her. With a worried expression and her eyes softened. You bit your lip and sniffled. Refusing to let yourself cry again. “Do you wanna talk about what happened?” Tara said calmly. Not trying to force you to talk, but just wanting to get to the root of the problem so she can help you.
“my bestfriend, *bsf name* who is also my crush.. loves another guy.. and she kissed him.” You said, trying to hold back your tears once again. “oh y/n” Sam said as she squeezed you a little tighter. “It’s okay..” she said shortly after. “Your going to be okay.” You let yourself sniffle and wipe the water away from your eyes with your hoodie sleve. “Listen. I know this is going to hurt for a while.. and I know you feel heartbroken and I’m so sorry that this has happened to you, but maybe this is your sign that you need to get over her” she spoke in a reassuring voice as she held you. Like she did when you were 3 years old and when you scraped your knee. “I also know that’s gonna be so hard because it’s obvious how much you love her, but y/n, I promise you when I say you will find another girl who will love you, not platonically, romantically. You will find somebody else who makes you happy” Sam continues as she cradled you slightly. Obviously trying to calm you down. “But i want that girl to be her” your voice wobbling slightly. “We know, but unfortunately y/n it can’t be. And we want you to be happy. But for you to be happy, you need to try your best to move on. Keep her as your bestfriend and don’t loose the friendship you have with her. But you need to let go of those romantic feelings. I know your hurting right now but me and Sam are here with you every step of the way.” Tara always knew how to structure her advice Well, her words comforting you and calming you down slightly. You sniffled again and nodded “I love you guys” you said, still snuggled up against sam. “We love you to.” Sam said back as she began to run her hand through your hair. “Now, as your older sisters it’s our job to try and cheer you up, at-least for a little bit” Sam smiled. “Oh yeah ofcourse!” Tara agreed and then thought of something that made her heart warm
“oh my god y/n! You look like how you did when you was little! Everytime you were sad you would always go to sam and she would pick you up and cuddle you and cradle you to try and calm you down. Wow, things don’t change.” She said with a giggle and the warm, fuzzy childhood memories that you thought about brought a small smile to your face. “There it is! There’s that pretty smile!” Sam grinned down at you. “Now we just gotta find a way to keep it there!” She added. “Hmm.. how were some ways we use to cheer you up as a kid” Tara stared it into space, clearly thinking about any possible answers.
“Oh my god..” Tara giggled to herself. Sam raised an eyebrow in confusion and you were just curious “that’s it!” She said sounding so proud of herself. “What?” Sam said with a small giggle, clearly also curious on what Tara has just thought of. “Do you remember the tickle monster?” Tara said giggling again but with a small smirk on her face. “Oh my god yes!!” Sam said laughing a little louder “that always use to work when you were little! You use to absolutely love it!” Sam joined in, laughing in between her words. Their light teases made your face react with a vibrant blush as you remember all the times they use to absolutely wreck your with tickles when you were younger. “I think she definitely remembers!” Tara says, snickering even more at the blush on your face “oh come on.. I-.. I’m not 5 anymore.. I doubt that will work” you said trying to hide the slight twinge of excitement in your voice. “Well.. you may be older now, but you can’t deny that your probably just as ticklish as you were when you were little!” Tara teased. “No.. I- i don’t think so.. I think I grew out of that..” you tried to deny everything but through your slight stutters and your pink cheeks, your denials seemed useless. “Oh please, as If! You were the most ticklish little girl y/n! There’s no way you have aged a couple of years and your sensitivity has gone away!” Sam giggled, her statement obviously true. You were and still are ridiculously ticklish. It’s no laughing matter (get it?)
You were completely at a loss for words, some even may call it speachless, and you had no real comebacks to give. “I mean, it’s worth a try” Sam snickered, seeing you tense up a little and bite your lip. “Oh my god y/n-… we haven’t even started yet!” Tara started giggling at your state as you we’re still in sams lap as she held you close. Your breathing started to get a little faster as sam lightly got ahold of your arms and held them out of the way so you had no defences or anything to use to try and escape. Tara just sat next to sam, watching your cheeks turn from a peachy pink to a crimson red. Tara then looks at sam before chuckling and saying “how much do you wanna bet y/n still enjoys this?” Sams face turned into a mischievous smirk, her eyes locked on yours. “oh she definitely does, she’s just to shy to admit it!” And with that sam started scribbling her fingers onto your stomach. “BAHAHAHA” you immediately burst out into girlish giggles that bounced of the walls. Sams fingers moved all over your hoodie, causing the material to bunch up a little as her fingers scratched and scribbled at your stomach. “wow y/n, what were you saying about not being ticklish?” Sam teased again, watching as the laughter just freely flow out of your mouth. That’s also when Tara joined in and started spidering her manicured fingernails up and down your sides. Causing your giggles today increase in volume. 20 fingers working their way around your sensitive spots. This was your personal hell but also heaven at the same time. The ticklish sensation coursing through your body. You couldn’t deny that this was helping your forget about your problems as all you could think about was how much it tickled as your mind was focusing on was the warm fuzzy feeling that you felt ontop of laughing like a toddler.
Sam then crawled her fingers upwards to your ribs, digging her fingers in between them “BAHAHAH FUHUCK SAHAM!!” You cursed and squealed while wiggling about as much as you could (out of instinct). And Tara moved her fingers to your hips, squeezing at them slightly. You sucked your stomach in.. and what made this whole ordeal worse was that sam and Tara were directly smiling at you, seeing how happy you looked and just slowly letting your problems melt away. “yup, she’s still as ticklish as when we was as a little kid, and still equally enjoys it as much” Tara said observing you and watching the stupid smile that you couldn’t wipe off of your face. “SHUHUT UHUPP!! HAHAHHAHA!!” You knew everything she said was right, but you would never openly admit that. “I missed tickling you so much!! It’s still so funny to see how you squirm and laugh at the smallest of touches” Sam cooed, you had no real reponses you just kept giggling to your hearts content. You barely ever let yourself be vulnerable, you hated crying, opening up or just even anybody letting you see you as weak. But tickle sessions with your older sisters were different. It was a good kind of vulnerable. The kind that you actually craved. But you’d take that secret to your grave. “Oh trust me, i think y/n missed us tickling her as much as we did!” Taras demeanour was mischievous and very teasing, she always knew how to make you flustered with just a sentence. “Well this is now becoming a regular thing again” Sam stated with a cocky smile. “HEHEHEYY!! NOHO FAHAHAIR!” “Theres no Point complaining if you enjoy it, y/n” Sam snickered. “I- BAHAHA!”
They then both Switched parts so you didn’t get use to the feeling. Sam decided to go for your worst spot. Your armpits. Tara decided to go back to your sides and with this your laughter erupted “PFFFTTT BAHHAAHHAHA FUHUCK!!…SHIHITT!!” you started kicking your legs about and trying to pull at your arms as you just squealed and squirmed in helpless laughter. “y/n your actually so cute!!” Sam cooed again, seeing how much you were laughing “yeah! I mean look at you! I knew this would still work!” “BAHAHHAHAHHAHAH OH MY GOHOHOD!!” You couldn’t even process anything, let alone feel sad, your laughter echoed through the apartment.. that was until your laughter fell silent, with little breaks of squeaks in between. And that’s how sam and Tara knew you were at your limits so they stopped. They lifted their hands off you and Sam let your arms go, but still holding you close. Listening to your rapid heartbeat and your heavy breathing.
“Are you okay?” Tara asked giggling. You simply replied with a sweet smile and nodded. “Good, did that help? It looks like it did” Tara replied with a warming smile. “Yeah.. it really did.. Thankyou guys so much” both Tara and sams hearts melted. “You don’t need to thank us y/n, it’s what we’re here for” Sam reassured as you giggled and rested your head onto sams shoulder “yeah, so if you ever want to be tickled again, all you gotta do is ask!” Tara teased seeing you roll your eyes playfully. She started comfortingly rubbing your thigh, causing you to wince slightly and twitch your leg. “Oh sorry!!.. did i hurt you?” Tara asked becoming concerned. “Nono! It’s okay!” You tried to play it off cool. Tara just nodded, looking a little bit skeptical but decided not to ask any follow up questions as she leaned her head onto sams other shoulder, just placing her hand on your leg
As the moon rised over the city of New York. You 3 all snuggled together and watched tv. You always knew you could count on Sam and Tara to be your shield and comfort after a bad day. All that mattered to them was to see you happy, and they’d do to any length to see that. (even though they had re-discovered their favourite way)
