Summary: Andrew questions how dreaming works with Chris inside his brain.
Warnings: unreality, well-induced trauma, drowning, freezing, death via pneumonia, post-traumatic stress disorder, medical abuse & subsequent trauma, physical torture (mentioned), dream logic, nightmares, hurt and comfort, Everette (mentioned)
Also, don't question dream logic, just go with it. Brains are weird.
I killed the dove and Iâm serving it for dinner. Enjoy.
Chapter 3
Word count: 2,232
Many people over centuries have wondered why and how dreams happen. Psychologists are constantly divided on whether or not they mean anything at all, with some saying that dreams can reflect a personâs deepest fears or desires.
Regardless of what some nerds with fancy titles say, none of them had every considered asking the question that Chris and Andrew (mostly the latter) had on their mind regarding dreams in their shared body:
âHow do we dream now that weâre, yâknow, literally together? Like, when we fall asleep, do you just⊠watch me sleep?â Andrew asked. Theyâd been tossing and turning in their bed for at least 5 hours, and Andrewâs phone screen from the bedside table lit up from a text notification. 4 am. Chris groaned and a yawn echoed through every crevice of Andrewâs brain.
âGod, I wish,â Chris muttered, âAndrew, darling, I am going to kill you if you donât keep your mouth shut and try harder to silence your mind. Please go to sleep and we will find out.â
Had Andrew been thinking straight, he may have questioned Chris on why he seemed so eager for the opportunity to watch him sleep, but he could feel their consciousnesses slipping each time he blinked. Not to mention how pet name that Chris used on him made him feel like he was a smitten teenager again; warm and comfortable and finally safe.
The questioning could wait until they've woken up, if Andrew remembers it.
âMhm, fine, alright⊠gânight, angel,â was the last thing Andrew managed to speak (with a smug smirk) as Chris used the last of their remaining energy to move his arm just enough for him to be able to interlace their fingers weakly yet firmly.
---
The darkness faded as if it had been pulled into itself, and Chris felt... weak. He felt sick. He felt wrong. Something was wrong, and he was so cold...
... He could breathe now, though he still found it difficult. Why? Where was he? He lifted his head to look, and was met with the sight of a very familiar room.
He was in Desiderium Asylum. He remembered his room. He remembered this whole place very well. He remembered the medications that did nothing but weaken him and made him easier to torture. He remembered the smiling figure that he came to know well. He almost pitied them.
He could hear the Call of the Well in the courtyard. He could always hear it. It called to him like a siren. He had to learn it's melody. He noticed only now that he'd left his room and had been sluggishly making his way to the courtyard again when he took a step and fell a floor down.
'Ouch...' Chris thought, though he'd noticed his lack of pain. âWhat?... How am⊠how am I-â Chris muttered as he looked at what he could see of his pitch black body.
He failed. He failed Andrew. This was his fault⊠Andrew was likely to come looking for him, and what would he think of him now?! He left his best friend behind. He would never be able to amend this mistake. He couldnât tell if the water from his âfaceâ was his tears or well water⊠was there even a difference?
âFuck⊠I-I have to get out of h-here. There is a well, so thereâs an exit,â Chris whined as he dragged himself towards a wall to pull himself up with what little strength he had. Shit, he forgot how dizzy he would get. âI⊠have a feeling that I may be able to escape⊠I can sense another well.â
As he turned around, he found himself at the front entrance. He remembered being not so politely pushed through them when being admitted. He would've fought back, had he been able to. He stepped through the opened doors without question and allowed this new call to guide him towards the next well. He felt⊠hazy? His mind felt scattered. He hardly remembered where heâd just been 10 minutes ago, let alone if time worked the same anyone.
Heâd begun mumbling something in his stupor, though he had hardly half a mind to understand himself anymore. Finally, something had managed to cut through the fog that clouded his mind, just like it always had. His head shot up at a familiar voice speaking his name; âC-Chris?!â
âAndrew?! Andrew!â
âChris! Are you-â Andrew was cut off by the impact of the solid black shadow figure practically throwing himself at him in a weak yet desperate embrace. Heâd hit his head against the ground beneath him, though it didnât seem to hurt⊠at all.
For a moment, they lay there in a rather uncomfortable position in damp grass as their tears drenched it further. Andrew eventually shifted them both to prop himself up against the brick well and pull Chris into his lap into a much more comfortable position. Said shadow figure immediately leaned into him
âYou know,â Andrew sniffled, âsomething about all this feels⊠I dunno⊠off?â
Chris moved to look up at Andrew, still clinging to him as though his existence depended on it. With no distinguishing features, though, it was a little difficult to tell if Chris had turned to look at him or if heâd turned to look away from himâŠ
âIâm looking at you, Andrew,â Chris spoke with a giggle, as if reading his mind. Andrew moved away from him slightly, chuckling nervously as Chris seemed⊠saddened by the gesture? He wasnât sure what gave the impression of sadness, though he could feel the otherâs heart ache slightly, somehow.
âH-How did youâŠâ
Just as Chris had began saying something, a realization hit Andrew as he swore he heard something like a⊠mourning dove?
---
Andrew and Chris gasped as they woke up, jolting upright as their blanket fell from their shoulders. Both their hands instinctively reached for their chest to calm their racing heart, with Andrewâs being slightly slower to react and ending up on top of Chrisâs as a result. Seemingly instinctively, Chris yanked his hand away with a pained yelp from inside his mind. âG-get⊠get away f-from me! No⊠nonono- I- donât want t-to-â
It took Andrew a while to understand why Chrisâs half of his body seemed to retreat every time he attempted to console him. âAh,â he thought once he'd woken up enough to comprehend words, âso, this is what a PTSD episode is like.â
... Sometimes, Andrew had a habit to think or say things that he would regret not long afterwards.
Chrisâs memories flashed through his mind, and he witnessed it all from Chrisâs perspective. He saw every awful, painful thing those âdoctorsâ did to Chris in the real world. There were no blocks in these visions, nor creepy armor stands.
He saw and felt the drowsiness from the medications the doctors prescribed Chris. He saw that smiling figure watching him. He saw Chris stumbling around the hall at night like a zombie and approaching the courtyard before being dragged back to his room. He couldnât do anything but comply; the medications made him too weak to fight back.
The memory of what happened in The Fixing Room made Andrew sick to his stomach⊠heâd be lucky if he could even eat breakfast today, or any meal for that matter.
Then, there was the memory of Chris, beaten, bloodied, and drenched with water, stumbling through the sewers while barely alive for who knows how long.
The last memory heâd been forced to view was at the bottom of the empty well, the same one he found that he now realized were Chrisâs bones at the bottom of. This memory was one that he knew would be shown to him, though he really wished with all his strength that somehow, their shared brain would just skip this one.
Chris was alone, wet, cold, and fatally injured at the bottom of the well. Every breath he took sent shocks like lightning through his lungs. He couldnât breathe. He was drowning from the inside, and nobody was awake to find or help him. They couldnât hear his pneumatic wheezing, nor his weak pleas for help. He died cold and alone, drowning to death from the inside.
Chris froze to death, and his final thoughts before he lost consciousness and woke up as something new were of Andrew.
Chris had been whimpering and mumbling phrases in the back of his mind, though the visions had completely drowned out the noise of his voice.
âAndrew! Andrew, s-say something, pleaseâŠâ Chris pleaded, sniffling as his hand feverishly wiped tears away from their eyes until theyâd become red and swollen.
âChrisâŠâ Andrew sobbed, pulling the blanket up to their face and burying them in it, âholy shit.â
Chrisâs voice broke at how sad Andrew was. âYou saw the flashbacks ofâŠâ Chris trailed off as Andrew nodded, mumbling a âmhmâ as he reached across his waist and held the other tightly. The embrace was tight enough that it was as if he wanted to fully merge with Chris.
Their mind went fuzzy and blank with that simple action. The feeling in their heart felt like some combination of primal fear and want.
The noise Chris made from somewhere in his mind was one he had never before heard his boyfriend make. Not even back in the good old days over calls. It sounded like the high-pitched squeak of a dog toy.
âDude,â Andrew sniffled, âI- holy shit. I... I'm sorry, nobody deserves to go through that. Especially not you.â
âI- wha- huh?â Chris stammered as he came back to his senses and chuckled nervously, âi- honestly do not know what you just said... sorry. It is a little distracting when you are holding onto my half like I am your lifeline.â
âYou are!â Andrew wailed, louder than he expected himself to and quicker than he could prevent. âI- fuck, thatâs embarrassing. I didnât mean to⊠uh⊠make that noise.â
There was a heavy silence between the two of them, broken only by Chrisâs soft exhale and the complicated mixture of emotion between the two of them that resulted in Andrew sounding like a man who had just been beaten half to death.
âHave I told you how lucky I am to have met you, Andrew?â Chris spoke, tone low and drenched with adoration. That specific tone seemed to cure Andrewâs heartache in an instant and was replaced with the aching sensation of want.
âUh, yeah, bud,â the man laughed, âyou havenât stopped, actually.â After a brief pause to think, Andrew commented; âh-hey wait- you rascal! Little shit! Donât shift the focus onto me!â
âHuh?!â
âThis conversation was about you, not me! Letâs talk about you. You are amazing, you know? Youâre so smart, so kind, and just perfect in every way Iâm not."
"W-well, I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit-" Chris interrupted, though Andrew didn't falter. The man had always been determined, and Chris admired him for it.
"You, Christopher Meyers, drive me crazy. Everyone whoâs ever made you feel like you donât deserve the world can-â Andrewâs rambling was cut short by a yawn, and he wondered what time it was as he reached for his phone.
6:28 am. It had only been about 2 and a half hours?!
"Do you understand what you're doing to me right now?" Chris sighed fondly, as though he'd been holding his breath the entire time Andrew spoke. The ache of want in their chest had become noticeably more intense.
âI do, actually, and I- it's..." Andrew trailed off as the butterflies in his chest suffocated him. "God, this is so corny of me, but... I wish I could, y'know... kiss you right now. Like, a-actually kiss you. You- it's... I'll just- uh- stop talking," he continued quietly, almost murmuring as he raised his hand to his chest to calm his rapidly beating heart.
âMaybeâŠâ Chris spoke âmaybe we⊠uh- still can?â
âWhat!!â
Chris paused as he moved their right arm, raising his hand to Andrewâs face and hovered his fingertips over the manâs lips, as if the hesitation was taking all his energy to maintain.
âOh! right,â Chrisâs hand was pulled away, âso, it seemed like the me from your nightmare was actually me. I was experiencing a memory of mine that was somehow sort of⊠I do not have the correct wordsâŠâ Chris trailed off, deep in thought as he gestured with his hand.
âPre⊠something dream? Predictive? No- thatâs not it-â Andrew suggested, âalso, what?! Wait⊠what happened with you in the dream was- that was literally you?! Like, âpresent day Chrisâ you?!â
Chris laughed, âyes, it was. I guess that's what happens when you have two people in one body. Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that the setting of the nightmare seemed to be a combination of both of our memories.â
âSo...â Andrew yawned loudly, shifting to lay a little more comfortably on his side, âwhatâs that have to do with my⊠uh- ârequestâ?â
Chris audibly smirked as he spoke, âwe should get back to sleep, youâre- weâre still tired, it seems.â
âHm⊠you donât seem that tired,â Andrew commented smugly as yawned again, âyâsure you donât just want to appear in my next dream?â
Summary: Andrew helps Chris get used to the world again, and Chris helps Andrew take care of himself in their shared body
Chapter 2
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It had been a few weeks since the pair had become one. Adjusting to their new situation had been a slight challenge, yet they were happy together regardless of any disagreements they had. The two understood the fundamental truth that they would have to be willing to communicate clearly with each other at all times.
This was easier said than done. But then again, thatâs how relationships tend to work, isnât it? Despite how perfectly synchronized theyâd become, they still had and would continue to have problems that must be addressed and fixed as best as the two realistically could.
One of their first arguments after âbecoming wholeâ, as Chris enjoyed phrasing it (mostly to fluster Andrew), had been nothing more than a bump in their relationship:
After Andrew had gotten a new PC, heâd struggled with setting it up properly. He wanted it as secure as possible, but when Chris tried to help, heâd gotten irritable with him.
â
âChris, Iâve got this.â
âIf you say so,â Chris sighed sarcastically, resigning himself to the role of an observer. Theyâd both remained silent for a short while, until Andrew spoke up.
âOh, come on,â he chuckled with the slightest hint of bitterness to his tone, âthe silent treatment? Really? After everything I went through to save you?â
âAndrew,â Chris began, pausing to carefully think out his response. Unfortunately, before he could speak it, Andrew spoke again. Chris could feel their heart ache and emotion rise from a chest and up through a throat and eyes that were never meant to be shared by two people.
âDo you have any clue how much god damn stress I was under that whole time?! You could hardly speak to me! I missed speaking to you, and-and now that- now that we finally can, and I mean properly can, you go quiet on me?! I-â
Andrew tried to continue his ranting, but tears began to spill from his eyes. And then, they began to pour out, soaking his clothes as Chris raised his right arm warily to wipe away as many of the otherâs tears as he could before placing his hand gently over Andrewâs racing heart. Chris always seemed to know just how to be there for him⊠it was selfish of him to think of things only from his own perspective.
âIâm sorry,â Andrew choked out, âIâm so sorry. Fuck, this is selfish of me. Chris, Iâm sorry, I- I didnât mean to⊠hurt you. I never wanted to-â
With a tired voice as soft as a warm hug, Chris spoke; âI understand. Honestly, I do. I mean every syllable of that. Just⊠please relax, and then we can talk about this, okay?â
âOkay, youâre right, I-â Andrew sniffled and shivered as he began breathing slowly again.
âYouâre doing good, keep it up.â
Minutes later, when Chris felt Andrewâs heartbeat slow to a normal pace again, he moved his hand to hold Andrewâs firmly. âIâm right here. You wonât lose me again, okay?â
âYouâre an angel, you know?â Andrew chuckled as he yawned. He felt his heartbeat skip a beat or two and his face grow hot. âHm⊠Chris liked being called thatâŠâ
âStop that,â Chris muttered as he squeezed his hand tighter, heat noticeable under the skin of his palm, âyou know that Iâm in your brain, right? I know what youâre thinking.â
He wasnât sure if it had been the lack of proper sleep that was causing him to feel tired or something else, and he honestly didnât care to know. Instead, he had two options right now: finish the task they started or flirt.
âRight, okay, got it. Sorry again, for-â
âDonât be. Iâve missed you just as much. I honestly tried my hardest to reach you during my time stuck in your old computer.â
âThe whole timeâŠ? Damn, I might just be stupidâ, Andrew thought solemnly. He couldnât help but feel guilty over that fact, and the fact that heâs only now thought of it this much.
Chris paused to scoff at the thought that Andrew was sure he had just heard him think, but didnât comment on it. âItâs my fault for not trying harder⊠but I do not think there was much more I could have done, realistically. So⊠Iâm sorry for that, and I wish I could have done more.â
There was a comforting silence between them, interrupted by an error sound from the computer. Andrewâs gaze instantly locked onto the screen, as Chris mumbled the words on the screen: âError: could not install Minecraft.â
âDamnit⊠our world!â Andrew growled, followed immediately by a yawn.
âWell, maybe thatâs for the best.â
âYeah, maybe youâre rightâŠâ Andrew sighed, âIâm tired. Bed?â
âItâs only,â Chris glanced at the time shown in the bottom corner of the screen, â4 pm, though. Maybe we should get dinner first?â
Andrew pouted, âokay, fine, dinner first. Would youâŠâ the words got caught in his throat, and Chris seemed to notice how he struggled to finish his sentence. He could guess what the next words would be, of course, given how Andrew was acting like a teenager with a crush about it⊠but whereâs the fun in that?
âWould I⊠what?â Chris teased, audibly smirking from some corner of Andrewâs mind as his hand began to move the computer mouse around and tap a few keys. Heâd pulled up a notepad that read âtomorrowâs plans: reply to your sisterâs texts, Andrew.â
âAh! Shit, I completely forgot, Iâll text her back now. Thanks.â
Chris hummed in disapproval, causing Andrew to freeze in place as he reached for his phone, âyouâre welcome, but you havenât answered my question. Donât get distracted just yet.â
âThis fucking guy wants me dead, huh?â Andrew thought, earning him a barely concealed laugh. âFine, smartass, would you want to get dinner out?â
âAre you willing to shower first?â
Andrew shivered at the thought of water touching him ever again, and Chris seemed to notice this. âHm⊠no, then? Thatâs alright, weâre both still recovering fromâŠâ
The words were left unspoken, though they both understood what he meant. âYeah⊠look, Iâm just happy to have you back, honestly. No need to go out to celebrate it or anything, yeah?â
âYouâre sounding a little desperate,â Chris cooed, âthis is your body, Iâm just a passenger. You choose: get clean and go out or stay in and just relax together?â
âThat is definitely a questionâŠâ Andrew muttered, furrowing his eyebrows as he thought about his answer. âWhat do you think?â
âIf Iâm honestâŠâ Chris began nervously, âI know how your body will react to contact with water in this state, having been there myself, but⊠it might be worth a shot. I also would like to see the outside world again⊠but, I can wait for your sake.â
âWell, now weâre just talking in circles. Iâll shower, just⊠uh⊠you know youâll have to-â Andrew began as he stood up from his desk chair, Chris promptly moving his half to match Andrew (just as theyâd practiced).
âYeah, I know,â Chris stated, âif weâre sharing a body, weâll have to get comfortable with this eventually.â
âAlright, just checking that you consent to⊠showering together⊠literally.â The scraggly man chuckled, âyâknow, there really isnât a better way to describe it.â
âHah,â Chris laughed nervously, âwell⊠yeah.â
As they walked to Andrewâs bathroom, Chris yawned as he spoke. âAlso, about something you saidâor rather, thoughtâearlier. I donât think youâre dumb. I think you're brave, loyal, smart in your own way, and most importantly, yourself. I wouldn't want you to be anyone else."
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